Hyde Whips Parmas's Back #2
"Sir Agiles. I hardly know whether to say it is a pleasure or a pity to meet you like this—."
"Count Doban! You haven't changed a whit with the years!"
Agiles thrust out his hand toward Doban first. Whatever cringing humility he had shown moments earlier had vanished; his bearing was now brazenly self-assured.
Doban spoke.
"I have prepared a modest banquet, such as it is. I only hope it will suit your palate!"
"Modest indeed! Yet this Agiles is a man whose heart has grown as broad as his girth. I shall therefore show generous forbearance toward any rudeness or shortcoming in the hospitality."
His manner was so shameless one could scarcely believe he was a prisoner. The maids carrying dishes frowned at the sight.
"Anyone watching would think he owned the manor!"
"Count Doban is simply too soft-hearted—that's the problem."
It was true. Even in this barbaric dark age, Count Doban's heart was comparatively generous. After all, he had married his precious daughter to a man of unknown origin. Any other noble would have invented every excuse under the sun to stop it.
With that atmosphere, the banquet began.
"Very well, then. As representative, this Parmas shall offer the prayer before the meal. Our Father who art in heaven, give us this day our daily bread—."
Chomp, chomp, smacking lips—.
Before Parmas had even finished the prayer, Agiles began to eat. With plump, greasy fingers he tore at a pheasant leg and chewed with revolting greed. The old saying "he acts exactly as he looks" fit him perfectly.
"I was honestly curious what sort of man the Great Sin of Sloth would be. Tch—at this rate the title of Gluttony suits him better, doesn't it?"
Milione clicked her tongue. I found myself agreeing on several counts. Still, it could not be helped. Agiles had been branded a Great Sin Seat twenty years ago. Back then he had been a terrifying warrior-general whose very name made people tremble. The information simply had never been updated.
After eating for some time, Agiles smacked his lips around the contents of his mouth and spoke.
"Doban, many years have passed. Even now, when I close my eyes, those days return to me. You and I crossed many battlefields together!"
"A tale from long, long ago."
"Indeed. Now you are no longer a man of the Unizer royal house but a lackey of the Order. Your daughter Psyche has become one of the Seven Knights, I hear? I saw her. Young and green she may be, yet already a splendid knight!"
Agiles praised Psyche. She sat demurely beside me, simply eating. Though Agiles had grown fat and lazy cooped up inside his citadel, his eye for people still seemed equal to his old reputation. Psyche truly was a knight second to none.
Milione clicked her tongue again as Agiles continued.
"A great pity, truly. Had we won the war, Psyche would by now be betrothed to a prince and living in a beautiful palace! Doban, you would have become the king's in-law!"
This bastard?
I scowled hard. I had never liked talk of Psyche's former fiancé, and it seemed she felt the same.
"Sir Agiles, I never wanted any such thing. And I am already more than satisfied with my marriage. My husband Hyde is braver than any man."
"That fellow?"
"Do not forget that my husband Hyde is the one who captured you, Agiles!"
"Aye! That fellow couldn't even shift the boulder that had fallen on me—I nearly died! Can you believe it? He nearly killed this Agiles! A scrawny weakling. No doubt he can't even perform as a man!"
What is this fucking bastard saying?
Turning plus-size must have made the fat around his eyelids so thick he could no longer see people properly!
I slipped my hand into the inner pocket of my coat. Without realizing it, my fingers had gone for the mask. But the mask had long since shattered and been discarded.
"……."
No. I've been turning into Rust far too often lately. At this rate it'll be just like the old days.
Agiles's eyes now turned to Parmas.
"Parmas, I heard quite a bit about you while in the citadel. You captured Grid, the Great Sin of Greed, with clever wisdom, they say? Have you by chance heard anything of 'Grid's Treasure'? Something you might have quietly pocketed? Grid was originally the guardian of the royal treasury, after all. He must have possessed any number of rare items."
"Every treasure was returned to the Order. Do not question this old man's integrity. I have sworn loyalty to the Lord and to Pope Gregory; I am a man of pure honesty! I have no greed for treasure whatsoever!"
"Well, I suppose so."
Agiles's gaze shifted to Midnar. Unlike the way he had looked at the others, there was something sticky in that stare.
"Midnar, even after so much time you remain beautiful!"
"Get lost!"
Whip—.
Abbess Midnar jerked her head away. Agiles, who had been about to say something more, merely smacked his lips and now looked at Milione.
"A face pretty as an angel, yet from the expression one can tell you're the most ill-mannered bitch of all. Who are you?"
"I am Milione Archibold!"
"Ah—so you're that Milione Archibold. Medici's headache. You look exactly like the sort who never listens. Medici, acting as if he'd transcended the world, yet he raised his daughter like trash! Puhahah!"
"What did you just say, you bastard?"
Crack—.
Milione clenched her fist. I already knew Agiles was deliberately needling everyone. Being taken prisoner must have put him in a foul mood. Still, if he kept making this much noise the food would lose its flavor, so I decided to say something.
"Agiles, do not indulge in petty spite. You have been defeated. You failed the duty you bore. And it was by none other than me—Hyde, more devout and diligent than any man…!"
"……."
Agiles promptly shut his mouth. Truth is stronger than anything. Faced with that crushing declaration, he had nothing left to say. He scraped the greasy bones onto one plate with oily hands and then spoke.
"Brat, I was captured by you, but I did not lose to you. The one who defeated me was that fellow called Rust. He summoned an earthquake. He tore my citadel apart! What in the world is that man? A true devil from hell?"
"Yet in the end it was I, Hyde, who captured you. Therefore I shall speak here and now. As promised, the citadel was conquered within a fortnight. Sir Parmas, fulfill your promise at once!"
"……!"
The old knight Parmas, who had worn a sour, uncomfortable face all day, seemed startled by my summons. He stroked his long beard and averted his eyes.
"Ahem—."
"A man of Sir Parmas's standing would not, I believe, pretend ignorance of a promise made before so many people. Nor would he dismiss it as a mere jest?"
I had seen plenty of men who broke their word. Would Parmas be one of them? I decided to leave him a special escape hatch.
"However, if you admit you have dementia, I shall forgive you for forgetting the promise. Frankly, you are of an age for it, are you not? Why not simply acknowledge the dementia and retire from all affairs altogether?"
"Wh—what? What did you say!?"
At my words Parmas began to tremble all over.
"You bastard, what do you take this Parmas for! I am a man who values honor above all else! I have not forgotten the promise you made, you cur! Fine! Lash me with the whip!"
Parmas was a man whose pride ran deeper than anyone's. To feign ignorance of the promise would have stung that pride too sharply.
Swish—.
We now made our way to the garden of the Agarpe manor. A post had already been driven into the earth there; Parmas embraced it.
"Come! Strike me! Five lashes!"
Five lashes. The number we had agreed upon. I took the whip from a soldier. It was made of leather. Watching me, Milione chuckled.
"To think that Parmas is about to be whipped. When I was little he taught me rhetoric and beat me plenty with a switch. Want me to do it instead?"
No! I had to be the one to punish Parmas! This was not a penalty born of personal grudge or impulse!
"Parmas, you must understand this is not a punishment I give because I hate you. As a disciple and apostle of the Lord, I am the one who administers it! You did not believe in me! That is the same as disbelief in the Lord Himself!"
Swish—.
At last I swung the whip and struck Parmas's back—like the Savior who had driven the false merchants from the temple with a scourge!
Whoosh, crack—!
But my whip missed and struck only the innocent ground. Harder than I thought!
I swung again.
Snap—!
This time the whip landed on Parmas's back. Yet the force was insufficient.
"Huff, huff…."
Wielding a whip was far more tiring and difficult than expected. The Lord had used one of these to drive out the heretics with crisp cracks, and yet—.
Hup—.
I put all my strength into it and lashed once more toward Parmas's back.
Crack—!
This time a reasonably impressive noise rang out.
"Gyaaah!"
And Parmas screamed. He was in great pain, and the sight of it somehow eased a long-standing indigestion of mine!
"I am a man of generous heart. Sir Parmas, though lashes remain, I have decided to specially forgive your transgressions. Give thanks to me—Hyde, broader of heart and more devout than any—and to Elohim. If I were to deliver the remaining two lashes, the old and ailing Sir Parmas would surely die!"
I was specially letting him off.
"It is absolutely not because swinging the whip is hard and leaves me short of breath. Do not misunderstand! I am 'forgiving' Sir Parmas according to the teachings of Scripture! Everyone remember and record that I, Hyde, have specially forgiven Sir Parmas!"
I made my generous spirit known to all. Psyche's eyes welled with tears, moved by my kindness.
"Hyde! You truly have such a broad heart!"
As expected, only Psyche understands me!
Yet Parmas trembled so hard the tip of his beard rippled, then snatched up the whip.
"You bastard!"
Has this mad old man finally gone senile!
I darted behind Psyche just as Parmas swung the whip.
Whoooosh, craaack—!
The whip, swung with all his might, struck Parmas's own body! The old man's clothes tore, blood flowed, and he looked to be in agony.
Craaack, craaack, craaack—! Craaack—!
Parmas flogged himself. Fully ten times!
"Sir Parmas, have you truly gone mad? Why are you striking your own body!"
Parmas, clothes in tatters and body streaming blood, glared with bulging eyes.
"You bastard! Hyde! I will never forget this humiliation!"
"Why are you blaming me? Am I not rather the one who won an impossible war? I deserve praise. Is it so hard to congratulate a young man's success?"
And you hit your own body, you know. Why make a mistake and then get angry at me?
"You bastrrrrd!!!"
Parmas shook violently. In the end he could not endure it; blood poured from his mouth.
"Uwaaaagh! Gyaaaagh! Uwaaagh!"
Then he went into a wild fit of his own accord and collapsed to the ground. He convulsed now and then, foaming at the mouth. That little self-flagellation show had probably shortened his life by ten years.
"It seems Sir Parmas's faith runs so deep he is desperate to reach heaven."
Even if he doesn't rush, he'll clearly get there ahead of me anyway.