84. I Promise I'll Just Hold Your Hand, Serin
84. I Promise I'll Just Hold Your Hand, Serin
***
'So it's something I shouldn't bring up.'
Watching Sua flustered and rambling made me feel sorry for no good reason.
After mulling over how to move past the moment, Sua looked at me as if she'd finished thinking and spoke with careful emphasis.
"Serin? Whatever else, you especially shouldn't casually bring up men—male streamers. And it seemed like you brought it up because chat reacted negatively when I mentioned the Another World Ideal Type World Cup, but you don't need to pay attention to every little chat reaction. Even if they act like they hate it at first, once it actually gets going, way more people end up enjoying it than you'd think, so it works out. You understand, right?"
She spoke as if she'd sorted through a lot of thoughts, and the more I listened, the more it felt like I'd made a misstep.
It felt like I'd pointlessly interfered with a stream she would have handled fine on her own.
"Ah, yeah. I'll watch what I say from now on."
As I answered, I finally understood.
Thinking back, during my first collab stream with Sua, chat had gone up in flames over the single question of whether I was a woman or a man.
'I really shouldn't bring up anything about men on stream, huh...?'
And, funnily enough, that seemed to apply to me too.
"And I'd like you to follow my lead on stream as much as possible. I'm only adding this because I don't want you to misunderstand... I'm not saying what you said was bad or wrong. It's just that with female streamer broadcasts, viewers overreacting to things is an everyday occurrence, whether you realize it or not... Even if they seem to like it and want it right now, I'm worried they might use it against you later. Serin! So please don't feel hurt or anything by what I'm saying!?"
As she said that, she quietly took my hand, thinking of me again, and I gave a small nod without a word.
Even while explaining the reason in detail, I could see she was being considerate of me, which made me feel sorry for no reason.
And I keenly felt that, when it came to anything about men, I was in a position where I had to watch even the smallest thing I said.
Whether that was limited to Sua or applied to all female streamers, the Sua in front of me seemed unwilling to give even the tiniest opening.
Then she casually took my hand, and as I simply accepted it, I felt strange.
It had been so long since I'd let anyone get this close that I couldn't even tell whether this kind of physical contact was normal between women.
She'd been casually touching me before the stream too, without me fully realizing it, and it had flustered me.
But rejecting it felt awkward too, and pulling my hand away would probably look even weirder, so I accepted it—though I still couldn't accept it naturally.
"Shall I turn the mic back on, then?"
"Yeah, sure."
Unlike me, Sua continued the stream in a calm voice.
"Ah, Plea-lings, did you wait long? I had something to discuss with Rin for a moment. There won't be many times I turn the mic off from now on!"
[What are you doing turning the mic off for 5 whole minutes]
[Just leave the mic on and talk lolol]
[Phew, finally the mic's on]
[I was holding my breath until the mic came back on, nearly died lol]
[Seems like Plea got flustered because Rin said something unexpected lolol]
[So we're doing the male streamer ideal-type World Cup, right?]
[For real lol]
[Rin broke through the iron wall that is Plea lolololol]
[How about a light 256-bracket male streamer ideal-type World Cup?]
[Is Rin doing it too?]
[256 is too many, let's go with 128]
Looking at chat, it was like I'd lit a fire—public opinion was already expecting a male streamer ideal-type contest.
I glanced at Sua, wondering if this could even be salvaged.
I was the one who'd lit the fire, but this really didn't seem salvageable.
"Well, as you Plea-lings asked... I'll do the streamer Ideal Type World Cup. Just for today, I won't wander off into something else either. That works, right?"
And Sua, instead of pushing back against chat's mood, said she'd give them exactly what they wanted.
[Oh!!!!]
[Holy shit lololol]
[Did Plea's iron wall just crumble?]
[Gotta go tell all the guy streamers who like Plea lololol]
[Mentioning other streamers is bannable, you know]
[She's really doing it?]
Watching chat, I wondered what I should even say.
"Instead, I'll be doing the ideal-type World Cup limited to female streamers only, and I won't be taking any other opinions!"
But with Sua betraying everyone's expectations, chat blazed even hotter.
......
"I pick Hana. Rin, what kind of person do you like?"
Sua said that and passed the choice to me.
On screen, two photos of female streamers were displayed as options: one striking a sexy pose as if showing off her voluptuous figure, and another winking cutely as if acting coy.
Looking at them, I...
"For me, Juhee...? She has a really nice body."
"No, Rin, isn't your taste just a little too consistent?"
Sua laughed beside me, but my eyes still went to the streamer with the voluptuous figure.
[Obvious choice]
[No contest]
[I mean, no contest, how do you not pick that body?]
[Rin's taste is way too consistent lolol]
[Is Rin just looking at streamers' bodies now?]
[Hana's too baby-faced]
[Plea's obviously a face person, but Rin just seems to look at bodies lolol]
[I mean, is Hana even pretty? I felt nothing looking at her lolol]
[Go look in a mirror first lololol]
[You tormented Hana like that last time and now you're dropping her here too?]
[Rin's so cold lolol]
[No contest!]
[If it were me, I'd have picked Hana lolol]
The chat that I'd worried couldn't be salvaged had been salvaged like magic.
No, if anything, the viewers who'd seemed resistant at first to female streamers doing an ideal-type World Cup among themselves were all enjoying it now.
'...Is this the class of a big-name streamer?'
I'd even worried it might backfire, but as if my concern had been groundless, the viewers' lively chat was half-joking.
Picking an ideal type didn't really mean much anyway—it was more like using it as a topic to talk about. And on top of that, Sua's viewers strongly seemed to follow Plea's lead no matter what.
So wouldn't picking among male streamers have been meaningless too?
'Sua must have her reasons for not doing it.'
I decided to just go along with whatever Sua did.
And so the female streamer ideal-type World Cup proceeded.
Whenever options appeared, we took turns picking the streamer who matched our taste, and now it was my turn, so I leaned forward to grab the mouse.
Honestly, I thought it would be simpler if Sua just clicked everything herself while holding the mouse, but for some reason she insisted on doing it this way.
Slide.
I grabbed the mouse and selected the streamer named Juhee, but at that moment, another strange sensation brushed against my hand, and I broke out in goosebumps without meaning to.
"Plea?"
I called Sua with wide eyes.
"Yes, Rin, go ahead."
Sua looked at me innocently, as if she knew nothing.
I'd just caught the culprit red-handed right in front of me, and she was playing dumb, so I couldn't help but laugh in disbelief.
"Seriously... can you stop touching me now?"
I said that and tried to slip my hand away, but—
Snatch.
"Ah, Rin~~ why? I'm just holding your hand."
Sua gripped my hand firmly and pouted.
'No, if you really just held my hand, I wouldn't have said anything.'
Stroking the back of my hand, sometimes interlacing her fingers with mine and fidgeting, or fiddling with it—she'd gradually started doing stranger things, and the goosebumps made it hard to endure.
But seeing Sua pouting and grinning at me again, it was hard to say anything harsh.
I wondered if this was Sua's own way of showing affection, or if she just wanted to get closer.
"Ah, then I'll let you touch me too, Rin. That makes it okay, right!?"
She pulled my captured hand toward her chest as if telling me not to pull away—
"Wh-what are you doing! Right now."
I yanked my hand back before I knew it.
'No, she looks like some idol on the outside, but what is with the way she acts?'
[What's this, what's this!?]
[Cam!!!!]
[Turn the cam on!!!]
[Why am I the only one who can't see?]
[I mean, none of us can see lolol]
[Why is the way they're talking so funny lololol]
[If Plea's going to act cute, turn the cam on and do it!!]
[Plea, what the... are you cheating on me right now?]
[Lolololol]
[Why is Rin's horrified voice so funny lolololololol]
[I mean, what did Plea even do lololol]
Chat suddenly sped up, and it caught my eye for no reason.
'...We're live, so whatever.'
I tried to understand that this was also part of Sua's intended stream flow, but the feeling was still strange.
"Ah, um, Rin... are you really... upset?"
Sua spoke with a startled expression after I'd suddenly shaken her hand off.
And that, apart from the stream, seemed genuinely apologetic.
Seeing Sua's sorry expression made my heart soften again for no reason.
'Did I overreact?'
"No, it's not that I'm upset. You just suddenly got way too familiar."
"Ah, I just did it because I wanted to get a little closer. If it upset you, then from now on... I'll be more careful. I'm sorry, Rin."
Now her expression hardened completely, and the 180-degree shift from before flustered me.
I replayed the situation in my head for no reason.
It wasn't like she'd touched anything sensitive—strictly speaking, Sua had just fiddled with my hand.
'...Ah, I don't know.'
I wondered if this kind of casual physical contact between women was just normal in the first place.
"Rin... were you really upset?"
She wasn't even running the stream now, just worrying about me.
"No, I wasn't upset... It's fine. I was just flustered, so don't make that face."
As I said that, I gave up and held out my hand.
Touch it if you want.
Snatch.
And she took my hand without a moment's hesitation.
"Ah, I guess I took the teasing a little too far with you. No, it's just that every single reaction you give is so good... I can't actually show them, but if the viewers had you in front of them, they'd understand me."
Sua immediately brightened again and went right back to running the stream.
'Did I... just get played?'