353. Cecilia's Sincerity
353. Cecilia's Sincerity
***
Why had she come?
What whim had brought her to me at this hour?
"So. What is your reason for seeking me out in person like this?"
Cecilia could not help but wonder as she gazed at Rin, who stood right beside her.
The places where they could ordinarily meet were public spaces. Outside those, Cecilia had to go to Rin if she wished to see her, and even then, there had always been a strong sense that Rin was only reluctantly indulging her.
Bound by neither power nor wealth, Rin was a being who looked only ahead, and she made no effort to keep company with anyone.
A thoroughly isolated existence—yet one who gazed upon the world with the arrogance of someone who acted as though she alone existed in it.
Because Rin carried herself that way even before Cecilia, an imperial princess, Cecilia found her refreshingly different and all the more extraordinary.
And in Cecilia's eyes, Rin was a being worthy of exactly that.
With unbelievable skill and exceptional insight, she had led their party, and the results had been astonishingly accurate.
She was one who saw the future, one who would lead the world—and at the same time, the one who had shown me the path I would walk ahead.
That was why, even as I watched her, I found her mysterious, and why—even if we spoke every day—it was difficult to know what Rin was thinking.
"..."
Cecilia slowly waited for Serin's answer, her gaze resting on the clear surface of the lake.
Come to think of it...
Before Cecilia knew it, quite some time had passed since she had begun spending time with Rin.
Ever since they had set out on their journey years ago, they had spent a long time together, and the vast majority of it had been in the same place.
A long journey—and one that would continue on from here.
Now, having briefly returned to the empire to recover, even after such a long journey, I still could not guess Rin's intentions.
How long had I been staring at the water's surface?
A silence longer than usual settled over the space, and only stillness lingered.
Now, as a gentle breeze drifted through and brought tranquility, even the worries settled in her heart seemed to sink a little. Even her confusion seemed to hide its shadow, and her mind grew clear.
'So this is what it means... to be a being of a different order.'
The thought crossed Cecilia's mind without her realizing it.
Beings who held special power—the power dwelling in imperial blood, and existences as extraordinary as Belua, who even now guarded her like a shadow.
Rin belonged to that same kind. That was why she could not help but feel that Rin possessed a certain order of being.
She found herself thinking that even this time spent together in silence was not so unpleasant.
Simply being together like this—the woman called Rin seemed to bring me repose. My confused heart seemed to gradually find its calm.
On the path I now walked, no matter how endlessly confusion, worry, and bewilderment tempted me and cast doubts upon me—
While I spent time with Rin like this, those feelings vanished as if by magic.
In their place, small anticipation, excitement, and comfort came to me.
Just when I found that both fascinating and deeply satisfying—
Within the long silence, my gaze slowly turned. And I saw something entirely unexpected.
"..."
Through the radiantly shining silver hair, I glimpsed a side of Rin I had never seen before.
Until now, I had assumed that emotions like worry, contemplation, and distress had nothing whatsoever to do with her.
And with good reason—Rin had always acted without hesitation, and spoke without any reserve.
A being who, without any bewilderment or the slightest doubt, spoke her will forcefully and declared it truth.
That was why, after I had made the decision for continental unification, all of my closest aides had wished for me to revoke that intention.
But even so, I had been able to fully establish my resolve by following Rin.
When my thoughts reached that point, I could not help but find it remarkable.
—Continental unification.
Who would have dared to speak of such a thing before me?
And yet Rin had said it to me in a firm voice. She had spoken with eyes that shone like stars, as though that alone were the only path. And I had made it my own path.
To Rin's grand ambition, I had staked myself—and the fate of this empire—and resolved not to regret it in the slightest.
Within the continuing silence, I had not thought I would be the first to speak. But I slowly turned my head.
And, taking in the sight of the woman lost in thought, I spoke first.
"Rin, you seem most unusual today. I would not have thought you the sort to fall into contemplation..."
A great interest stirred within me.
Who—no, what—could be troubling her so deeply right now?
Why, even though she had come to see me, did she not so much as look at me now that she was beside me?
"So what exactly is it that you are thinking about?"
As I spoke again, Rin slowly met my gaze and parted her lips.
"I was merely thinking about the schedule ahead."
The same tone as always. A flat, cold manner that seemed to carry no emotion whatsoever. But I sensed something faintly off about it.
'...How strange.'
It was certainly the same as always. Apart from her attire being a little unusual, her manner of speech and appearance were hardly different. And yet, she felt like someone other than the person I knew... What could this contradiction be called?
Had some problem arisen with the schedule? Or was someone trying to interfere with her again?
All sorts of thoughts came to mind.
No matter how high a title I had granted her, no matter how much power I had given her, no matter that I kept her at my side—
There were still countless people who opposed the grand plan of continental unification.
At that thought, I found myself asking in a worried tone without realizing it.
"Thinking about the schedule, you say... A few days ago, Rin, I recall you said the schedule was smooth sailing. Has something changed?"
But contrary to my thoughts, Rin immediately shook her head.
"...I was thinking about the schedule after that."
At those words, I found myself looking at Rin with slightly curious eyes.
'The schedule after that.'
At a glance, it could be taken as words with no particular meaning. But I sensed within them that Rin was troubled.
As though, apart from the confidence she had shown on the battlefield, she was thinking about something else.
"The schedule after that... Pfft. Truly, Rin. Should I say you are still very much yourself? No—seeing you think about what comes after, perhaps I should say it is unlike you."
And so I found myself smiling and speaking without meaning to.
It seemed as though Rin was now easing the very worries I had always carried.
Those who commit slaughter are inevitably stained by that demonic nature.
No matter how renowned a knight, no matter how powerful a being within the empire, the longer one remains on the battlefield, the more desensitized to slaughter one becomes, and the more one is gradually stained by it.
So I had worried—would Rin become that way too?
Standing upon countless battlefields without the slightest hesitation, Rin's appearance was, to anyone's eyes, gradually departing from what it meant to be human.
So I had feared—since some point... would even these moments of conversation grow distant? The thought had even frightened me.
But now, Rin's demeanor seemed to be guarding against that, if only a little.
She was not clinging desperately to the battlefield, not looking only ahead. She was thinking about what came after, keeping some measure of reason.
That was how it felt.
"..."
But then—at the sight of Rin's sudden smile, all those thoughts vanished.
She, who never showed her emotions at any time, was now... showing them for the first time in a long while.
It was certainly a smile, but... for some reason, I did not think it was a smile with a good meaning. I instinctively sensed that something was wrong.
Because the emotions contained in that smile did not suit her at all.
Bitterness. Regret. Strange emotions like pity...
It was as though she were not the Rin I knew.
She was revealing emotions that she would never have.
I hesitated, my lips faltering, thinking I ought to say something—but I did not know what to say.
Because this was the first time Rin had shown me such emotions.
What could I possibly say to make those emotions disappear from her face?
'Should I... comfort her?'
Rin's appearance kept leaving me unable to find my bearings.
That was how alien the sight of her showing emotion was to me—it was like a tremendous shock.
Firm conviction. That she, who possessed such will, would ever show these emotions... I had never dreamed of it.
Then, at that moment, I saw Rin's lips slowly part.
My gaze went blankly to them, and even my thoughts stopped—
"Your Highness. Do you... regret it?"
Words I had never imagined rang in my ears.
"......"
In that instant, the world seemed to stop.
What Rin was asking whether I regretted—even without it being spoken aloud, I could not help but understand immediately.
—Continental unification.
She was asking whether I regretted the thing Rin had offered me. She was asking me about it now.
'Regret...'
As though asking whether I regretted following her.
Whether I regretted staking my fate—
The fate of the empire—on that will.
'Do you regret it?'
Within the sensation of time standing still, Rin's figure came into my eyes again.
A bitter smile.
Even the reason why the emotions contained within it had seemed to hold such feelings—the more my thoughts continued, the deeper my heart sank.
Rin was asking me directly now.
Asking whether I regretted following her will. Asking whether I regretted making that decision.
Just as I had held many emotions about following Rin’s will—Rin was showing me those very emotions.
She, who never came to me on her own, had come in person to request a meeting, and was now asking while even revealing her emotions.
As though she had committed some terrible wrong against me.
When my thoughts reached that point—
The world that had seemed frozen came sharply into my vision, as though shattering apart.
And then, without realizing it, I seized Rin's hand tightly.
"Who on earth...! Who dares...! Who told you such nonsense!"
As I spoke in a voice full of passion, I could not contain the emotions surging up within me.
'Who on earth...'
Who had said such nonsense to you...
Yes. Someone must have whispered strange poison into her ear.
Telling her that I now regretted the path I had chosen.
That I regretted staking everything on Rin's words, staking my own fate and the empire's fortunes.
Someone had surely beguiled her with such absurd nonsense.
"..."
Gazing at Rin, who looked back at me wordlessly, I cried out as if shouting.
"Who... who it was that told you such nonsense... I do not know. No—if you do not wish to speak of it now, it matters not. But one thing I will say to you with absolute certainty."
The endless bewilderment that had seized me. The confusion and distress of all this time—as though they had been a momentary lie, my heart grew clearer than ever, utterly transparent.
From the depths of my sunken heart, a vast flame that could swallow the world seized hold of me.
I poured that emotion into my words so that the woman before me would know it.
"Rin, I have never once denied the words you gave me... not for a single moment. The path you proposed was the right path, and it was the path I chose. I can say with certainty that I have never once regretted it."