Jealousy (6)
Today's plan!
…Not that calling it a plan made it anything impressive.
A movie with Woojin. Dinner with Woojin. And with Woojin, that… thing.
…P-playing.
The end.
Hadn't I already told him, back when we were texting, that anywhere was fine? I'd only sketched something out in case he showed up with nothing prepared at all. …I never thought the day would actually stumble along, slapdash and all, exactly the way I'd laid it out.
Aaaah…
What do I do. We'd muddled our way to the movie theater, at least. A movie date… he wouldn't think that was tacky, would he? Ugh. This was my first relationship, so I honestly had no idea what I was supposed to do. I wasn't smooth enough to lead like I knew what I was doing—the little details gave me away, clumsy and obvious. But if I dumped the whole thing on Woojin and hung back, I knew exactly how it would end: he'd keep treating me like a little sister right up to the last second, petting me however he pleased. I hated that.
If I wanted him to start treating me like a noona, I was going to have to grab his leash and yank it tight, starting now… Hmm.
Oh, and speaking of which—what if someone I knew was at the theater right this—
"Maybe because it's my first time. It feels kind of new."
"Wh-what does?!"
We were in front of the concession stand. I'd been sunk in my own thoughts when Seo Woojin, standing right beside me, murmured that, and I answered louder than I meant to.
"Mm… The two of us coming here and ordering a single combo? And the amount of popcorn?"
"What's wrong with the popcorn?"
"It just seems like a lot more than I expected."
"I-if you get a large, isn't it usually about this much…?"
"Is it?"
I answered while trying to settle my pounding heart, and Seo Woojin tilted his head as if he truly hadn't known, turning the popcorn bucket over in his hands. Surely this wasn't his first time eating popcorn…
…Ah. Had the "first time" included the movie theater itself? Still, didn't everyone go see a movie with friends at least once? And now that I thought about it—Woojin's friends. Did I even know a single one?
I was spinning up his past on my own, even while I knew it was rude, when Seo Woojin popped a piece of warm caramel popcorn into his mouth, grinned, and went on.
"I didn't think there'd be this much popcorn. At this rate, what are we supposed to do about dinner."
"Dinner?"
"Yeah. Looking at all this, we might just watch the movie today and part ways at a reasonable hour…"
"…Sh-should I ask them to change the size? Even now?"
"…No need to go that far. If we get full, we can just stop."
Seo Woojin was still smirking, as if something in what I'd said was funny. I wanted to ask why he was smiling, and why he'd brought up dinner at all if we were only going to eat a little and quit—but I held it in.
The reason. Belatedly, I was pretty sure I got it. He must have thought it was cute, watching me rack my brain for any excuse to stay with him longer. Because you like cute things.
What I wanted was a reaction more like, She's cool, acting like a proper noona. Being told I was cute because I acted like a little sister… that didn't sit quite right.
Of course, since that was your taste, I was willing to match it a little. But I was the noona. One year older than you. So, um… I-in bed, I could match your tastes all you wanted…! In exchange, you could treat me like a noona the rest of the time, couldn't you? Give and take. Ever heard of it? Jerk. All you ever try to do is take…
Nngh…
How was I supposed to show Woojin a side of me that actually felt like a noona? What, book a horror movie and squeeze the back of his hand every time he jumped? …Except I couldn't watch horror movies either. What was I supposed to do about that. Hmmmm…
"Ah, noona, do you like cola?"
"I don't dislike it…? Why?"
"You were ordering so intently earlier I couldn't bring myself to say anything, but I don't really like cola."
"I-I wasn't ordering that intently…"
"I took a sip just now, and it still doesn't agree with me. Want me to get rid of it?"
"…Yeah."
Somehow it felt like my protest had been ignored completely…
The pout didn't last. The moment I held out my hand, the cold cola in Woojin's grip was passed over to me.
"……."
…Wait. Wasn't this an indirect kiss? No, no. We'd already kissed plenty. What was an indirect kiss supposed to mean now. And I wasn't some elementary-school kid, or even a middle-schooler—I was twenty-one, fretting over something like an indirect kiss…
I stole a glance at Seo Woojin. He didn't seem to be thinking about it at all, just fishing out popcorn one piece at a time and saying things like the movie would start soon, or should we use the restroom first. Right. If we were still in that almost-dating stage, maybe, but me reacting to every little thing like this was the weird part. Yeah.
"……."
Still, the best thing would probably be to drink it on the straw I'd already been using. I crumpled that thought as small as it would go and stomped it underfoot, then started on the cola Seo Woojin had handed me, doing my best to look unfazed. …Every time I gulped and the cold drink slid down my throat, my cheeks and ears seemed to burn hotter…
It was fine. Until a moment ago I'd been walking out in front like a proper noona, but just for now I'd stuck myself tight against Seo Woojin's back on the way into the theater. He wouldn't have seen what color my face had turned.
"……."
Of course, the other people nearby could take in the whole thing with a single glance. It was fine. They weren't anyone I knew well… Just strangers.
Buying a ticket and following the two of them into the theater… I didn't go that far. That would've been too much like a stalker. I was only watching from a distance because I was afraid Seo Woojin might slip up with unnie in the middle of the date, and that the two of them might drift apart because of it.
"……."
That was what I told myself while I trailed them, folded into the crowd. And then, having followed them all the way to the theater, I ended up witnessing one perfectly ordinary scene. Seo Woojin handed unnie the cola he'd been drinking until just now. And unnie drank it.
The only reason I bothered tacking on that and was entirely because of unnie. If she'd just sucked it down without a thought, I wouldn't have cared—but she was flushing red while she worked the straw…! Like some urban legend about a boy in the middle of puberty lusting after the recorder of the girl he liked…
"Ugh…"
Unnie, were you that much of a pervert? I knew perfectly well that thinking this, of all people, was pure hypocrisy, but that was a bit much. Last time I'd caught her porn history, it was only videos where the woman got it a little rough—not so much perverted as a taste well within what I could understand…
No. Forget it. I hadn't followed her so I could recoil at unnie being a pervert. A secret taste or two like that was allowed.
Once I'd watched the two of them go into the screening room, I didn't slyly buy a ticket for a nearby seat and keep tailing them. I headed home. I'd decided that staying any closer wouldn't help much. And besides, the unnie I'd seen so far—from hesitantly calling Seo Woojin oppa out on the street, to savoring an indirect kiss behind his back—had looked genuinely happy. I was no dating expert. If anything, I had one less relationship's worth of experience than that perverted unnie. Any pointers I tried to feed Seo Woojin weren't going to help.
"……."
So just like this… the way I'd done with Seo Woojin last time. Not in my room, but in unnie's. Not in my clothes, but in unnie's. Hair tied up the way unnie wore hers. …Face buried, bent over, dragging up the memory of being put violently through "sex practice" by Seo Woojin, I'd be better off masturbating hard on my own. Wondering what unnie was doing with him right now. While I imagined it.
"…Nngh—hk…"
By now the movie was probably nearing the end. Whatever had happened between them was obvious enough. Their hands bumping lightly while they reached for popcorn. Taking advantage of the dark to quietly hold on to each other. If the movie was boring, then… nodding off and falling asleep against Seo Woojin's shoulder. Unnie was a pervert in her tastes and a hopelessly awkward innocent at the same time, so that would be the most of it.
Or… they might go as far as a kiss. I'd listened to that recording last time. …Not some fresh, boring kiss, but one with a backing track playing so no one else could hear, saliva sounds tangling thick, unnie forcing her voice out—wait, just a second, just a second—while Seo Woojin kissed her until she couldn't breathe… Until the track ended. A recording of unnie gulping down Seo Woojin's spit and meekly taking the kiss. I'd heard it. They were definitely hiding in the dark of the theater, or outside in some dim back alley, doing exactly that. The way I saw it, it wasn't just unnie. Seo Woojin was a pervert too. Both of them.
"Nnh… ngh…"
…Sex practice with the little sister instead of unnie. Who would do that if they weren't a pervert. And him… Jealous over nothing more than me gaming with some guy, deliberately letting me hear it over Discord, that wet slap, slap… Telling me to moan. Telling me to let that guy hear all of it—that I was bent over the desk right now, fucking like an animal… That if I didn't want that, he'd at least let him hear the sound of his stomach slamming into my ass, slap after slap… Fucking pervert… seriously…
"…. ……."
Face buried in unnie's pillow, I rubbed at my clit like mad—but only for a moment. Right before I twitched over the edge I stopped my fingers, pulled one of unnie's shirts from the laundry basket, spread it out in place of a towel, and spattered my slick across it. …There was a lot of that in NTR stuff. Overwriting a place soaked in two people's scent with your own. Then later playing dumb, pretending you didn't know a thing. Men, women—I guess that kind of sordid taste was about the same either way.
"Haa… ha…"
Once the laundry was done it would all disappear anyway, a pleasure that only lasted a moment. But you never knew. Seo Woojin might happen to catch my scent on unnie's clothes. And then he might ask, ever so casually, what I'd done to them. Heh… If I told him honestly, then, that I'd masturbated with unnie's clothes as a mat, how would he react? Would he be dumbfounded and call me a crazy bitch? …Or would calling me a crazy bitch get his cock standing stiff. I was a little curious. Pfft…
"Hauu……."
Right on cue, a growl from my stomach. I climbed unsteadily off the bed to match it, went out to the kitchen, and set a pot of water on for ramyeon. Unnie probably wouldn't be back until after dinner with Seo Woojin. I almost played oblivious and sent a text—Unnie, when are you coming?—and pestered her until she answered, but I held back. Unnie deserved time to enjoy herself too. I couldn't be the only one having fun forever. …And it was also true that I only really enjoyed myself when unnie was enjoying herself too.
A few minutes later, I was just about to break a soft-boiled egg over the chewy noodles.
"……."
Brrring. Brrring.
A call had come in. The caller was Seo Woojin.