23. Jealousy (5)
Seo Woojin was going on a date with Lee Hayun.
If I unpacked that just a little further, it meant my older sister's boyfriend was going on a date with my older sister.
There was no dank little black-humor joke buried in the sentence. No need to twist it around and around. Take it exactly as it stood, and that was the end of it.
So even I, the first to be told, never once wondered what kind of joke he might have hidden inside those words.
I simply took it as it was.
Oh. So Seo Woojin and my sister are going on a date.
Oh. And judging by what Seo Woojin said, he's planning to have sex with her, too.
Oh. Which means, of course, there isn't really any need anymore for Seo Woojin to keep practicing this and that with me.
...Right.
"…."
Mmm. This was a good thing.
Pretending to be my sister in the first place, copying the way she talked, in her room, in her clothes, and then doing that—for a long time, an extremely long time, the sort of thing you had to air the room out after—had been pretty strange, if I was honest.
Think about it like a normal person, and date practice was one thing. But kiss practice... sex practice... that was a bit much, wasn't it?
When Seo Woojin first asked me for a favor, all he'd wanted to know was what my sister liked, and where it might be good to take her on a date. Roughly that sort of thing.
Anyway. From now on I just had to live as an ordinary gaming friend to Seo Woojin. Quietly dragging other people into my taste I can't talk about ended here. And thank god for that. There was no way Seo Woojin would go and spill that secret to my sister.
...The half a day of nonstop sex in my room, and that one time I gave him a wet, stubborn, slurping blowjob in the entryway of our house—I was taking both of those to the grave.
"…."
At least until this morning, I think that's what I'd believed.
Let me nail this down first.
This was not because of some humiliating feeling like jealousy.
No—why would I even be jealous of my sister? Even if I bent over backwards to concede the point, unless Seo Woojin were a total stranger, he was already dating her, wasn't he? Jealousy, toward a person like that? The word was almost funny.
Not so much jealousy as interest. That was probably the better word.
...So if I simply left Seo Woojin alone and stopped paying attention, I'd worry he wouldn't really do well in the actual moment the way I'd taught him. That was truly all it was.
"…Hnn."
The clothes I'd bought with Seo Woojin, I left those behind. I came to school in the khaki jacket I usually wore and counted the minutes until dismissal. Fortunately, thanks to the one sitting in front of me—that... well, the Japanese girl and the Korean one—the time passed easily enough. They shoved studying aside and did nothing but whisper and scribble dirty stories back and forth, and it was, unexpectedly, pretty decent to listen to. Whether they'd do it again next time. Who'd give the blowjob first when they did. If the two of them knelt together and licked hard from either side, wouldn't he find it even hotter, looking down. Not that I'd meant to eavesdrop all the way into the secret that those two were in a threesome with some guy.
...Aspiring heroes, and hobbies that filthy. Unbelievable.
Either way, I drifted through class, and before I knew it dismissal was close. Over the ten-odd hours from the moment I arrived at school until now, I'd roughly settled on a plan. I got up at my leisure and headed straight for the infirmary in the main building.
Of course, the plan I'd built across those ten hours was not some crude, childish scheme like getting to the infirmary one step ahead of my sister, wedging myself into their date, and coaching them through every little thing. It was a slightly more adult, more meticulous method.
Tailing.
"D-did you turn the lights off?"
"I did. And you don't have to worry about it that much. I'm not the one paying the electric bill."
"S-sorry.... It's a habit...."
"…."
There they were. I didn't even need to poke my head around the corner. Familiar voices carried from a long way off. One was obviously my sister's. One was Seo Woojin's.
Hearing them, I glanced around in case someone found me suspicious, confirmed the hall was reasonably empty, and strained my ears toward the voices coming from over there.
"H-here, want this? It's soda-flavored...."
"Ah, I'm not really a fan of gum."
"...Oh...."
You moron.
My sister suddenly offering gum was one thing, but that was exactly when he should have smiled, said thank you, and taken one, even if he hated gum enough to gag. That he didn't care for it, that it didn't suit him, or that chewing gum on a date felt a little off—you were allowed to say that sort of thing after you'd already put it in your mouth once. Hadn't I taught him that back when I was running him through date practice?
...Now that I thought about it, it was just the basics of getting along with people, so maybe the idea of teaching it had never even occurred to me. But the more I turned it over, the angrier I got. Even I knew that much, and I'd never dated anyone. Why didn't he? Maybe I ought to call it the feeling of a child set down by the water. I had no idea what I was supposed to do with him.
Should I text him a bit of advice now and then in the middle of the date? Or, when my sister wasn't looking, somehow....
"…O-okay, l-let's just go…!"
My mouth was already itching to start coaching when my sister's voice came again, and with it the sound of footsteps gradually moving away.
For a sweet little date, it felt incredibly clumsy.... Well, whatever. My sister had never dated anyone either. That was probably why.
I peeked my head out past the corner of the hall, and there were the two of them from behind. A little like a couple, and a little like they weren't. In a kind word, fresh; in an unkind one, keeping an awkward distance as they walked. I watched them for a moment, then carefully started after them.
The academy was so empty that I'd trailed them carefully from a distance, but once we were outside there wasn't much need for that. Evening crowds bustling around were part of it, but also—just as you rarely look up at the sky, you rarely turn to look behind you. And even then, only when the back of your head starts to prickle do you glance around once. So unless they turned into an alley, I followed the two of them nearly close enough to touch. If I put an exact distance on it, probably about three steps. Thanks to that, I could steal a fair amount of what they were saying.
...Well. For whatever it amounted to.
"L-let's go see a movie…!"
"A movie?"
An arm between them that nearly touched and didn't, and from the far side of a gently swaying ponytail, a voice full of tremor.
"…Do you hate movies, Woojin…?"
"No. I don't hate them. It's just unexpected."
"Wh-what, are you saying I look like someone who doesn't even enjoy a little culture…."
"…Ah, not that. I just figured that, it being evening, you'd say we should eat first."
"…Are you calling me a pig? I-I haven't gained any weight…."
"I know. You haven't. It's just, how do I put it.... You look right when you're nibbling on something. Like a squirrel."
"…What are you even saying."
Listening, I felt my brow go crooked and my shoulders hitch, and yet it was strangely sweet—Seo Woojin's voice, bright with a laugh.
And on top of that.
"If you want to see a movie, let's see the movie first. We can always eat later."
"Th-then left from here…."
"Left…."
"…."
"…."
"…."
A little sneakily, in a smooth little slide the word slither was made for, she linked her arm through Seo Woojin's coat first—and the instant he looked at her, the back of my sister playing innocent and gazing off elsewhere.
"…H-hey, hey…! Don't…!"
Seo Woojin let out a short, amused breath of a laugh and stroked her hair this way and that, and even as she flailed her arms and insisted she hated it, in the end she let herself be petted without much of a fight—the back of my sister, again.
"Should I stop?"
"You're ruining my hair…. Damn it…."
"Then what am I supposed to do. You're always going on about how I should treat you like a noona, and then you keep acting cute in front of me."
"Y-you're trying to talk casually again…! And what's cute about it…! All I did was link arms…."
"That doesn't seem very noona-like."
"…."
Well. Things like that. Only those.
"How about you try calling me oppa instead? I think that would suit you better than me calling you noona."
"D-don't say ridiculous things…! You keep trying to put yourself on my level…. Since when is there a little sister who even feeds you lunch…."
...No. Not only those.
Something strange. Something secret.
"Can't you do it just once? As a joke."
"…Even as a joke, I don't want to."
"Even if it's my lifelong wish?"
"…Wh-why would that be a lifelong wish…."
"…Or else, in a little while, I'll…. …. …for you."
"…."
Even talk I probably wasn't supposed to hear. A whisper, low enough that the people around couldn't casually catch it—the sight of him murmuring at my sister's ear.
"Hayun."
And in the end, the sight of my sister calling Seo Woojin oppa—I ended up seeing it.
"…Th-that's enough. This far. Okay."
"Can't you do it one more time?"
"No, enough…! I'm so embarrassed my face is all hot…!"
The sound of oppa slipping out in my sister's voice. My sister's name slipping out in Seo Woojin's. Clearly—clearly enough to brand itself into my head. But whatever price Seo Woojin had whispered to her in exchange, I hadn't heard a word of it.
"…That's a shame."
"A-a shame? What's there to be disappointed about…."
What, exactly, had Seo Woojin just whispered to my sister? What could it have been, that my quietly proud sister would dye her ears red and mumble oppa to a younger guy? He wouldn't have bargained with something like a free massage coupon, the way little kids do. And it wasn't as if he'd put money, of all things, on the table as the price. So what was left....
...Nothing, really.
"…L-let's hurry…. …Oppa."
What on earth had she just heard, for my sister's heart to come undone like that?
"…Let's go. Hayun."
"…."
"Why are you looking at me like that? …Ah. Are you only going to come if I call you noona?"
"O-obviously…!"
And you. Why do you like the word oppa in my sister's voice that much?
"…."
And I, secretly eavesdropping on all of it from behind—why was I having such a worthless thought? That calling him oppa.... ...was something I could do, too.
...Like an idiot.
Really.