Discharge
"Ah... things really have gotten complicated. I'm not even sure where to begin explaining all this."
"Ah, take your time. Nothing life-threatening, I hope?"
"Indeed not. Hmm... would you grant me a moment to gather my thoughts?"
With that, Bulja folded his arms and closed his eyes for a while. Those golden irises, that distinctive elderly male voice. He came off a bit like a freeloading monk in places, yet he was a cooperative personality all the same.
"Ah, this will not do."
"Pardon? Is something the matter?"
"It shames me to ask, but buy me a strawberry smoothie, would you?"
"Ah."
Perhaps "gluttonous ghost" was a more accurate label than "freeloading monk." In the end, Manager Kim found himself serving as the food shuttle once again and returned from the rooftop café with a strawberry smoothie in hand.
Slurp. Slurp.
"Mm, now the mind is beginning to turn again!"
Recalling how much this personality had eaten last time, Manager Kim had loaded up on desserts that would send anyone's blood sugar through the roof—cream puffs, double-soft cookies, and the like—alongside the strawberry smoothie.
The gluttonous ghost polished off every last dessert and the smoothie with a blissful smile, utterly unbothered by the party's dumbfounded stares. That appetite and that pancreas were marvels no matter how many times you witnessed them. Ah—right. This one was immune to diabetes.
"I suppose it is time I explained. Where to begin... Very well. First, Manager Lee. This is purely hypothetical. It is only for the sake of explanation, so do not take offense."
"Understood. Please speak freely."
"Do you have children?"
"Two sons."
"Then let us suppose you had only the elder, and he died."
Manager Lee flinched at the way Bulja casually killed off a perfectly healthy son, but he let it pass, knowing the remark had been invented for the sake of the explanation.
"Sorry? Ah—yes. Meaning the younger one doesn't exist yet?"
"Precisely. You weather that grief well enough to have a second child. What name would you give him? The same name as the first?"
"No? Even if it isn't the name my actual second son has now, I'd still choose a different one, wouldn't I?"
"The first and the second are different people, so of course you would. Is that not so?"
"Right."
"But what if you projected the first child's image onto the second, handed down the same name, and forced him to live exactly as the first one had?"
"...What?"
Manager Lee went blank for a moment. His two sons had completely different personalities. Forcing the younger to live like the elder... well, of course.
"...He'd hate it."
"Exactly. A matter of course. Every living being thinks its own thoughts."
Bulja fell silent after that, giving them time to process.
"I, too, arose from that monk's memories, yet I am not entirely the same as he was. No two people can ever be perfectly identical. Even twins may share similar faces and temperaments, yet their thoughts are never the same."
"Um... Bulja? What does any of that have to do with Ayeon right now?"
Hayeon, who had been listening with a face full of questions, asked him, and Bulja smiled kindly.
"The present situation is rather like that. A personality that imitates Soyoon was formed from Soyoon's memories. You had already guessed that much, had you not, Manager Lee?"
"...Yes. I had."
"But is that personality the real Soyoon?"
"...That's a philosophical question. I... don't think so. The real Soyoon is already..."
Manager Lee's voice trailed off. Soyoon was already dead—having left her heart to Ayeon.
"In truth, even my voice differs from that monk's. I am merely a personality that 'imitates' the image of the monk preserved in memory. I am not the monk himself."
"...So, in short: Ayeon forced the imitation personality built from Soyoon's memories to become Soyoon. And that imitation of Soyoon is refusing. Is that roughly the situation?"
"That's my man! Exactly right."
"But Bulja—why would a personality that imitates Soyoon based on Soyoon's memories hate being told to become Soyoon?"
Hayeon still wasn't quite following, and after a brief ponder Bulja delivered a clear answer.
"I myself am fond of meat, am I not? But did that monk like meat? No one knows the answer—only the monk himself. Now, if someone forced me, a meat-lover, never to eat meat again, would I like it or hate it? I, at least, would hate it. Though I have one more reason for disliking it besides."
"Ah... I understand."
"And in my judgment, the main personality went too far. You saw it, Manager Lee—an entire month spent only looking at Soyoon's belongings, only listening to them... That was no ordinary level of coercion. Would you all not agree?"
"..."
No one spoke, but inwardly everyone agreed with Bulja. It had gone far beyond ordinary pressure. Ayeon's behavior had not been simple longing while looking at mementos.
She had been browbeating a personality that had arisen naturally into behaving a certain way. In a sense it was something that could be called horrific abuse—an act bordering on madness.
Silence. The atmosphere in the hospital room grew heavy. Bulja watched with pity, yet he still had an even more pitiable truth to deliver. The main personality had gone into hiding, and the Soyoon personality had shoved the explaining onto him because she found it too hard. Of the remaining personalities, he was the only one who could properly explain.
"And the truly sad part is... the Soyoon personality had no choice but to refuse. Once the imitation of Soyoon was perfectly 'completed,' the main personality intended to hand over her entire self and die."
The room sank again at Bulja's words. Manager Lee, unable to grasp it, opened his mouth to confirm.
"...Is that even possible?"
"Well, not dying physically. And did I not say once that lower personalities such as myself wish to help the main personality? Ah, as I age my memories grow hazy..."
"Yes. You did say that, and I remember. But Bulja—this body is only twenty-six even accounting for the change."
"Tch, can a man not even joke? And yes, it is possible. Did you yourself not ask me last time whether I had killed the other personalities? If it is possible to kill another personality mentally, why could the main personality not commit mental suicide?"
"Ah..."
Only then did Manager Lee understand, and a weak sound escaped him. It was not impossible. The worst form of DID was one of the split personalities killing the others and the main personality, then claiming the body. In Ayeon's case, she had wanted to hand over control to a completed Soyoon personality and then die.
"Well, in the end that attempt failed. The situation is rather complicated, you see. Did you hear it from Soyoon's father? That Ayeon's voice had become perfectly identical to Soyoon's."
"...I did."
"Yes. Under that one-sided coercion, the Soyoon personality seemed on the verge of completion. On the day of the funeral the main personality truly meant to surrender control completely and fall asleep, wishing for the Soyoon personality to take up her life and live on as Soyoon. Because she wanted to meet the real Soyoon—not a fabricated fake."
"...Hah. I had thought some will to live still remained."
"Even if the main personality dies mentally, the body remains alive. That was the calculation."
Manager Lee squeezed his eyes shut. His hunch had been correct. Ayeon still wanted to follow Soyoon into death. But because of Soyoon's last wish she could neither do this nor that—so she had chosen escape. Hand the life over to a created personality, and vanish herself.
"Well, the lower personality—the Soyoon one—wanted to help the main personality, so she rejected that with fierce intensity... and being a Soyoon personality, you all know how she would feel about Ayeon. The child who even gave away her own heart while dying, now saying she wants to die? Unforgivable. Though strictly speaking it was not her own heart."
"I understand..."
The suffocating atmosphere stretched on, and Bulja let out a sigh, thinking how tragic the whole situation was.
"But the Soyoon personality, unable to withstand the coercion, had another thought. If she became 'complete' enough to inherit a life, she could stand on nearly equal footing with the main personality. Then she would be able to refuse even the main personality's commands. Unlike us lower personalities who arose naturally, she was created by the main personality, layered with emotion, refined—until she became a personality almost on par with the main one. In that process, lower personalities such as myself were naturally absorbed."
"...Absorbed? Then how are you talking to us right now?"
"Ah, did I phrase that poorly? That is... hmm. We still remain, but without permission from both the main personality and the Soyoon personality we cannot speak like this. I myself had simply been asleep until the Soyoon personality summoned me. Right now the main personality is tacitly allowing it, and the Soyoon personality cannot speak coherently, so she entrusted it to me—that is why I am out. The Soyoon personality is that of a twelve-year-old child, after all."
"This is truly difficult... Haaaaah... How on earth do we treat this... Is integration of the personalities even possible... My head is killing me..."
Manager Lee heaved a deep sigh, and the others, grasping the situation, grimaced as well. Bulja watched them and smiled faintly. The next part of the story, at least, was somewhat hopeful.
"There is no longer any need for that. Lower personalities such as ourselves will simply remain asleep unless specifically called, and right now the main personality and the Soyoon personality are in a mixed state."
"...Mixed? You mean integrated?"
"Precisely. The Soyoon personality blocked the main personality's mental suicide, and in the process of stopping her the two personalities mixed—so that now they are, for all practical purposes, integrated. Why do you think she kept her eyes closed the whole time at the funeral home? They were fighting ferociously in that place. Those two. Truly savage. Well, I shall refrain from more detailed descriptions."
"..."
Manager Lee began organizing the situation on the chart as he wrote. First, the main personality had wanted to follow Soyoon into death but could not because of the last will. In the midst of that she discovered a personality formed from memories with Soyoon inside herself, and she intended to perfect that personality into Soyoon and then hand over her life and die.
Scratch. Scratch.
But the lower personality that wanted to stop the main personality from dying—and the personality that imitated Soyoon's form—refused with fierce intensity. She was not the real Soyoon, after all. In the end the Soyoon personality, exhausted by the main personality's coercion, followed that coercion in order to rise to a position similar to the main personality so that she could refuse the main personality's commands, and...
She stopped Ayeon, who had tried to die together with Soyoon at the funeral home...