Eeeek! This Thing Is So Annoying! I Hate It!
Life as a butler was nothing special.
I woke up first and greeted the morning, got my own tasks done before Chuchu stirred, then spent time with her once she was up before diving back into work again. It was the same pattern, repeating on a loop.
Nothing special, which meant it could easily have grown boring—but this was exactly the life I'd always longed for, so I was more content than ever.
"Butler. Butler~!"
Every now and then she'd come searching for me in a panic, and the reason was different every single time, so I could never guess what it would be.
"Yes, Chuchu? What is it?"
"I—I want this!"
Chuchu, who had been watching TV, jabbed a finger at the screen. What was playing on it was a home shopping channel.
"A folding shelf? You want that?"
"Yeah! I want it!"
If it were something cat-related, I'd understand. But wanting a folding shelf, of all things, that had nothing to do with cats whatsoever?
Why on earth?
"Look at it! The box is hu-u-uge!"
Chuchu's real target wasn't the folding shelf at all. It was the box the shelf came packed in for shipping.
Perhaps because it was the biggest box she'd ever laid eyes on, her eyes sparkled as she pleaded, earnestly insisting she simply had to have it.
Buying a folding shelf because she wants the box it comes in—what even is that.
That's a way bigger waste than flying all the way to Paris to buy a baguette.
"Buy it for me!"
"Chuchu, if it's a box you want, I'll make you a big one myself."
"You know how to make one?"
I figured I could build one out of the large storage totes they sold at places like Daiso. Something like a little secret hideout, just for her.
"I'll make you something way cooler and better than that box over there."
"Okay! This great self will help too!"
"First we need to go buy the materials. Want to come along, Chuchu?"
"Obviously!"
"We're taking the car today. You know, this is actually Chuchu's first time riding in one?"
"I finally get to ride a car! I've been wanting to ride one too!"
Taking Chuchu's hand, I led her into her room and let her freely pick out whatever she felt like wearing that day.
Her choice: shorts and an oversized striped shirt. The casual, easy-breezy look suited her, and the cuteness it gave off was absolutely the highlight.
Not that our Chuchu radiates earth-shattering levels of cuteness no matter what she wears, of course.
"Want me to do your hair up?"
"Tail first."
"Ah, right—I'll get your tail out for you."
I'd put tail holes in all of her pants by now, but she still hadn't gotten the hang of threading her tail through one on her own.
She was still a wobbly little baby who needed my help—an unbearably cute one, at that.
"If the pants feel uncomfortable, you can wear a skirt instead."
"I wanna wear pants today."
"Oh, you do? Then I should dress something like you, too."
I put on a denim skirt and a white shirt to match Chuchu's vibe, and we headed outside and into the elevator.
On the way down, the elevator stopped at the fifth floor to pick up two boys and a girl, all around elementary school age. The three of them instantly fixated on Chuchu, staring at her with wide-eyed fascination.
"A cat!"
"She's got cat ears and a tail!"
"Meow? Hello, humans."
"Chuchu, we talked about that, didn't we? You can't greet people like that."
"Oh, right. Hello, little ones."
Yes. A child calling other children children.
Granted, they were far more little than Chuchu was, but to my eyes they were all just acorns of the same size.
"Miss, is that a cat?"
"Yep, she's a cat."
"Whoa... but why does she look like a person?"
"Because this great self is a very special cat! I can talk, and I can do everything humans can."
While the boys chattered away at her, the girl standing behind them crept forward shyly and held out her hand.
"C-can I... touch your ears?"
"Sure, you can. But gently, okay?"
"Whoa... okay!"
Chuchu stepped closer to the girl, crouched down, and offered up her ears for the girl to touch as she pleased.
Having felt those soft, squishy ears, the girl couldn't stop running her fingers over them, her eyes shining like marbles, the way a child discovers a new texture and can't get enough.
Nobody knows better than I do—as the very first person to ever touch those ears—that one time is never, ever enough.
"So cool! They're super soft!"
"What about the tail? Can I touch the tail?"
"No. Touch my tail and I'll bite you."
I'd been planning, sooner or later, to sit her down and teach her how to get along with people properly.
So far, the way Chuchu dealt with anyone who wasn't me had been completely off-kilter, and down the line, someone was bound to find it off-putting and start looking at her unkindly.
It's also a selfish little wish of mine—that everyone who meets my cat would find her as wonderful as I do, and think of her as a good cat.
In any case, what I was watching right now gave me every reason to believe that wasn't something I'd need to worry about much.
"How old are you?"
"Two years old!"
"Two? You're younger than us!"
"What are you talking about? A cat's age doesn't work like a human's. This great self is way older than you, little ones."
If she got along with kids this well, befriending adults wouldn't be much of a challenge either.
The elevator reached the first floor and the doors slid open, and the kids waved their farewells with big, bright smiles.
"Bye, big sister cat!"
"Big sister cat, see you next time!"
"Let's play together next time, big sister cat!"
Pure-hearted children who'd taken Chuchu's words exactly at face value, each sending her off in their own way. As the doors closed and we continued down to the basement level, Chuchu tilted her head like something had just occurred to her.
"What's wrong, Chuchu?"
"They called me big sister cat, those little ones."
"Yeah, well, they must like you. Next time you see them, play with them, okay?"
"This is the first time humans have ever treated this great self like this."
"But Chuchu, the only people you've met so far are me and Daeun."
"No—I mean, before I got this body."
Back when she was a full cat, did people treat her differently somehow?
I had no idea how they'd treated her, but I hoped with everything in me that it hadn't been the kind of treatment that planted such painful memories in her.
Stroking her head a few times, I gave it a little pat-pat, and she lifted her face and stared up at me.
"It felt... like friends!"
"Like friends? Then next time, you can ask the kids their names and all play together."
"Yeah, I like that. I think it'd be fun!"
So this is how friendships get made, huh.
I'd never even taught her how to make friends, and yet here she was, thinking things through in exactly the right direction, all on her own. I couldn't have been prouder.
Whose child is this, to be so sharp and quick about everything?
"That's right. The kids will be so happy to play with you."
We got out of the elevator, buckled Chuchu into the passenger seat, and I slid behind the wheel.
Seeing the inside of a car for the first time, Chuchu poked at everything and looked around at everything, utterly captivated, letting loose a steady stream of the most adorable little gasps of wonder.
"Chuchu, is it all so fascinating?"
"Yeah, it's fascinating! So this is what a car looks like. What's this thing?"
"Ah, that's the switch that reclines the seat back."
"Whoooaaah!"
Curiosity got the better of her and she pressed the switch on the lower right, and when the seatback suddenly began to recline, she jolted in shock and went on full alert.
"Pff! You don't have to be scared. It's just so you can sit comfortably."
"Th-that's all it does?"
"Yep. Oh, and if you're sitting in the passenger seat, you have to wear your seatbelt."
The moment I buckled it for her, she yanked it forward with a scowl of pure indignation. Naturally, the belt snapped right back around her, and she grumbled as if to say, why does it keep coming back?, handling the poor thing rougher and rougher by the second.
"Eeeeiik! This thing is so stuffy! I hate it!"
"Chuchu, you can only sit in the front if you wear your seatbelt."
"Why does it come back no matter how hard I pull it!"
"Because that's what a seatbelt does."
Then she started wriggling her whole body around trying to squirm out of it—but as everyone knows, pull a seatbelt too hard and it doesn't stretch any further; it locks in place, tight.
"Kheck...! What is this thing!"
Flustered by the belt's stubborn lock for a moment, she then began gnawing at it with her teeth, as if she were going to bite clean through it.
Like that's going to snap a seatbelt, sweetheart.
"Pff! Chuchu, let me tell you why we wear seatbelts. If there's an accident, the impact can send a person flying forward."
"Flying forward? That sounds fun!"
"It's not fun, Chuchu. Your head would hit this glass window first, and in a really bad crash, the glass could shatter and send you shooting right out of the car."
"Eh... really?"
"And then what do you think would happen? You'd get hurt really, really badly, right? You might even die."
Where was all that seatbelt-hating energy now? She gripped the belt tight with both hands and pulled it snugger around herself, tighter and tighter.
As always, the moment I explained why something had to be done, she understood right away.
If she'd refused even after the explanation... hmm, the difficulty level of raising this child might have skyrocketed beyond all reason.
"I'll wear the seatbelt...!"
"That's our good girl, Chuchu. Okay, here we go."
The moment I pulled out of the parking lot and driving began in earnest—
"Whoaaaaa! This is amazing!"
It was scenery she'd seen plenty of on our walks, but apparently riding past it in a car made it land completely differently, because her exclamations of wonder were entirely sincere.
"Everything's going by so fast, butler!"
"Yeah, it really is. Isn't it fascinating?"
"So fascinating! And those sneaky humans kept this amazing thing all to themselves this whole time!"
Whether we were stopped at a red light or pulling away on green, Chuchu never stopped gazing out the window, her tail swaying back and forth, back and forth.
Whenever even the tiniest thing was a brand-new experience, I could always count on seeing that excited, sparkling face of hers.
The more I watched her like this, the more I wondered what kind of reaction she'd have if we went on a proper trip together.
That moment would surely be so much more special and wondrous than anything today.
"Butler—no, wait. Unnie, where are we going right now?"
She remembered I'd told her to call me Unnie when we were out, and switched titles on the fly.
And that little shift sent my heart starting to flutter.
"Your... your ears are so cute."
"Unnie, what's wrong?"
I knew I was supposed to keep my eyes on the road. Of course I knew.
"Unnie?"
She is just impossibly, illegally cute!
If the police knew there was a cat this adorable sitting in the passenger seat, they'd have to forgive me for not watching the road!
"Hoo... hoooo..."
"Something's wrong with me. Am I broken?"
Yes, broken. My heart—shattered to pieces by that cuteness.
"Ahem. The place we're heading to is a store that sells everything we need to build Chuchu's hideout."
"Do they sell everything we need there?"
"Yep, everything. And they have snacks too. Let's pick out a few—whatever kinds Chuchu wants."
Ever since I noticed that little roll of belly fat forming, I'd sworn to cut back on her treats.
But the instant she heard the word snacks, her tail started swishing with excitement just like that—that's a foul. An absolute foul.
Looking at a face like that, how could I possibly not buy them?
"We're here, Chuchu. Let's get out."
"How do I undo this?"
"I'll unbuckle you. Just one second."
I got out on the driver's side first, opened the passenger door, and released her seatbelt.
She hopped lightly down from the car, stretched luxuriously, then clasped our hands together with a beaming grin.
"Everyone's staring at us so much."
"Yeah, they are. That's because you're so cute, Chuchu."
"Heh. Well, what did you expect of this great self?"
"Pfft! Chuchu, want a lollipop?"
"Yeah, I want one! And we can't be noisy in here, so I'll eat it quietly. Got it?
"Mm-hmm!"
I popped the lollipop into her mouth and we headed inside.
My first goal was to accomplish what we'd come here for—buying the materials for Chuchu's hideout—but then Chuchu gave the hem of my shirt a few little tugs.
"Chuchu, what is it?"
"Unnie, there's so much stuff here. I wanna look around."
But letting her wander off alone seemed a little risky.
"Hmm... ah, hold on just a second."
Hand in hand, we headed for the party supplies aisle. There I grabbed a balloon and a small hand pump, paid for them, then pumped the red balloon up full and plump.
"Chuchu, turn around."
"Meow?"
And with that, I tied the red balloon to the back of her collar.
This way, even in a crowd, or even when she was standing between tall shelves, I could spot exactly where she was at a glance.
The one downside? It would radiate enough cuteness to drive planet Earth to extinction.
A cat with a lollipop in her mouth and a balloon bobbing behind her back.
So this is what people mean by "cuteness from another world."
"Aigoo, precious. Chuchu, you can go wander around now. But only the first floor, okay? Got it?"
"Yep, got it. I'll be back~!"
This. This right here is why people have kids.
Every little thing she does is so cute I can't stop smiling.