Chapter 110. The Way She Loves (2)
Chapter 110. The Way She Loves (2)
2
And Raviel Ivansia tightened her grip. To kill the man. To infect him with an eternal wound.
-Ugh, kuh, hng......!
The man twisted his body. Raviel Ivansia's sword dug deeper, deeper into his heart. The man let out an agonized scream. The scream tore through the space where only the two of them remained.
'I don't want to kill him.'
Raviel Ivansia bit her lip.
'I don't want to lose him.'
But contrary to such wishes, Raviel Ivansia drove the blade in even harder. Every sensation in her hand felt vivid. His chest was torn open. The flesh inside was cut. His heart was pierced, and he kept coughing up blood.
All of it became Raviel Ivansia's wound.
'More.'
Harder. So that from now on, this very moment would be engraved as her trauma. So that someday—she did not know when—the man she loved would glimpse this sight.
And so, at the moment the man was about to cough up blood, Raviel Ivansia stole his lips.
-......!
The blood-tinged breath flowed from his heart into her mouth. It was a red, sticky breath. This was my man's warmth. This was my man's blood. This was my man's heart.
Raviel Ivansia sealed his mouth so that not a single drop would escape.
-.......
The man was dying.
Raviel Ivansia did not blink. She did not miss even an instant of the man she loved dying. His complexion paling, his pulse fading, his breath growing faint—each and every moment became agony for her.
I don't want to lose him.
She wanted to scream at the world at the top of her lungs.
I don't want to lose this man.
What if this moment failed to be engraved as trauma? What if all my schemes came to nothing? Then I would forget him, and he would lose me. Nothing would remain.
Raviel Ivansia was afraid.
'More.'
To fear something was, for someone like her, a disgrace. An insult. But Raviel Ivansia endlessly repeated the terrifying sights. The dreadful imaginings. She deliberately dug the wound deeper.
The sight of him failing to persuade the Tower.
The sight of me forgetting him and living as I had before.
The sight of the two of us passing each other indifferently in a corridor.
Wound upon wound.
-.......
And then Raviel Ivansia saw it. His death.
-.......
Raviel Ivansia understood. This was time like a residue. A moment granted reprieve, just briefly, before the man regressed. In mere seconds, he would regress. She too would be caught up in his time and regress just the same.
Mere seconds. Only a few seconds.
But those few seconds felt like an eternity to Raviel Ivansia.
She slowly pulled her lips away.
-Gong-ja?
No answer.
-Gong-ja.
Ah.
In that very moment, Raviel Ivansia knew. Yes. This final sight—the absence of an answer.
His gaze that had lost its direction. His lips stopped as though he had forgotten how to speak. Because of this, this moment became a trauma Raviel Ivansia could never wash away.
Everything became clear.
She had never left a scar more terrible than this.
-.......
Raviel Ivansia held him. She embraced his body. The final time, with only seconds remaining. The last moment, she spent holding him.
I believe.
[Trauma reenactment complete.]
Just as I believe in you, you will believe in me.
Gong-ja.
[Confirmed that the subject's ego has been maintained.]
And so we can wait for each other.
[Ending penalty.]
That is how it will be.
[Your current Immersion Rate is 98%.]
* * *
Strangely, opening my eyes was difficult.
"Butler?"
Lady Golden Thread Plum, sitting across from me, was startled. It was odd. Her face, which always seemed to shine brightly, looked hazy today.
"What's the matter? Why are you suddenly like this?"
"Pardon?"
"You're crying. Right now."
Only then did I realize that I myself was crying. I was shocked. Just moments ago, Lady Golden Thread Plum and I had been chatting together.
I had only blinked for an instant.
And in that instant, tears had fallen.
"Ah......?"
Worse, the tears would not stop.
"B-Butler? I'm a little scared. There aren't many things that scare me, but this is a bit scary? Why are you suddenly crying while talking to me? D-Did I do something weird again?"
"No... well... I don't really know either."
"You're crying for no reason? Are you crazy? Huh. You're really sobbing....... Wh-What do I do? This is the first time our butler has cried like this since I beat you up when you were five......."
"You really are going to carry that one for life, aren't you. My lady, please try to forget it."
"But Butler, even if you forget being beaten at five, you were beaten at six, and at seven, and all the way until you were fourteen, and honestly you still get beaten now and then, so if I forgot all of that I'd probably develop amnesia? In fact, it's no exaggeration to say your life has been a continuous series of being beaten by me."
Amnesia.
"......."
"Hik, I thought the crying had stopped, so why are you crying again? I'm sorry! I'm sorry for only ever beating you! I won't hit you anymore. And when I do hit you, I'll hit you a little less insultingly. That's good enough, right?"
"I think I must have had a nightmare, my lady......."
"Huh? A nightmare? Did I get caught by a monster and torn apart or something?"
"No. There was a woman looking at me, crying endlessly... I wanted to wipe her tears, but I couldn't, and it made me terribly sad."
"I see."
Lady Golden Thread Plum put on a deeply understanding expression.
"So that woman was me."
"It was absolutely not you, my lady....... You could never make such a mournful and noble expression. Your fundamental aura is different......."
"Ah. Should I just hit you?"
Lady Golden Thread Plum glared at me with narrowed eyes. Normally, this was when I would lower my head and say "I'm sorry," and then she would reply with a face that said it couldn't be helped, "I, in my magnanimity, shall understand."
But I rose from my chair.
"Butler?"
"I must go somewhere for a moment."
"Eh. Where are you going at this hour? I was about to tell you that I've arranged a dinner appointment with His Highness the Crown Prince tomorrow. I was going to brag about it excitedly. The butler has a duty to listen to my bragging."
I bowed.
"I apologize, my lady. But there is somewhere I absolutely must go."
"......."
Lady Golden Thread Plum narrowed her eyes with a "hmm." She rested her chin on her hand on the back of the chair and quietly gazed at my face.
"Fine. The butler has a head too, and if he has a head, he must have thoughts. But don't come back empty-handed, all right? You'll have to stop by the kitchen and steal a muffin or something."
"Tomorrow, the Crown Prince will gift you a ring of blue coral."
Lady Golden Thread Plum blinked both eyes.
"Huh?"
"I shall be going now."
I walked out.
Behind me, the young lady shouted, "Butler! Was that just now for real?" But I ignored it. "Wait, even if you're leaving, at least answer before you go! You bastard of a butler!"
The young lady had become much more well-behaved since coming to Sormwyn Academy, but her essence was still that of a back-alley boss. She was the one who used to smack around the little kids back home.
'My master.'
I quickened my steps.
It should have been a path I was walking for the first time, yet my stride was familiar.
'As if I had walked this exact same path before.'
The gates to Lady Silver Lily's residence stood open. There were no guards. It was something I should have found strange, but I merely thought, 'Somehow, I expected this.' My steps crossed the garden without hesitation.
The corridor.
"You have come."
A single point of moonlight.
"...Were you waiting for me?"
"Yes. Today is the [2nd time]."
A question and answer without context. A conversation impossible to understand caressed the night air. With a full-length mirror behind her, Lady Silver Lily was smiling.
"Look into the mirror."
"......."
"What do you see?"
+
■■: ■■■
■■■: ■■
■■ ■■: [W■], [■■s], [■■], [■■]
■■ ■■: ■■
■■ ■■■: [Master], [Lover], [■■■ ■■], [■■■], [■■■], [■■Child], [■■], [■■■ ■■■ ■ ■■ ■], [■■■■ ■■■■ ■], [■■ ■■■■ ■]
+
"...I see the word 'Master' and the word 'Lover.' The word 'Child' as well. I also seem to see small fragments of letters, but I cannot make out their meaning."
"Call me by name."
"So......."
I had been about to say "Young Duchess," but I closed my mouth.
Even though that was the title that honored Raviel Ivansia most highly.
『Never call me Young Duchess with those lips again.』
『I will carve out your heart and kill you.』
A conversation I had never once had surfaced in my mind. It was exactly like glimpsing a dream from a past life.
I was confused. It felt as though, no matter what happened, I must never call her Young Duchess.
"...My lady."
"That is better."
Lady Silver Lily approached me. Her red eyes looked at me. Merely looked—her lips were pressed firmly shut.
『What dream did you have?』
And yet I felt as though Lady Silver Lily was speaking to me. Her closed lips seemed to move. It was too intense to be a visual hallucination, too clear to be an auditory hallucination.
"You were... shedding tears, my lady."
『And?』
"You kept calling out to someone. A man was bound before you....... I believe you were calling out to that man. But I cannot remember the man's name."
『And?』
"You stabbed that man with a sword and were in anguish."
It was strange.
Why was I speaking endlessly to someone who remained silent? Why was Lady Silver Lily listening to my words without a word?
It was truly strange.
The strangest thing of all was that my heart did not find this situation itself awkward.
"Good boy."
Lady Silver Lily stroked my head. 'Good boy.' The resonance of those words sank deep into my chest. 'Good boy.' A very long time ago. It felt as though I had heard those words somewhere before I was even born.
I thought I had smelled a blue fragrance.
"Look."
Lady Silver Lily took something from her bosom.
It was a card.
"...What is this?"
"Proof that you labored for my sake. You may be proud."
The golden card was engraved with dense, compact lettering.
+
[A Regressor's Love]
Rank: EX
Effect: To a regressor, love is like poison. For no matter how they struggle, they cannot share time with the one they love. So a certain regressor made a wish. 'Please protect my lover's memories.' That wish reached the Tower and was granted.
You share a timeline with your beloved. When your lover goes back one day, you too go back one day. When you go back one day, your lover too goes back one day. This is a covenant of rings. This is a marriage of time.
May fortune be with the two of you.
※However, it only activates when you and your lover love each other.
+
"......."
For some reason I could not fathom, I was struck speechless.
"'Protect my lover's time,' he says."
Lady Silver Lily laughed softly.
"Receiving a proposal in this manner is nothing but troublesome. I am fond of your voice. Do you understand? If the words are not spoken to me directly, I will not hear them. So you—hurry back."
My chest churned.
"I will kill you. I will kill you as many times as it takes. If showing you my wounds can bring you back, then until you return, I will show them again and again."
"My lady......."
"So glimpse my wounds and suffer. Look upon the scars you left on me. Look, and look again. Your traces are there."
Lady Silver Lily reached out both hands and gripped my neck.
"In this world, the only person who can kill me is you."
Gently.
"And know that the only person who can kill you is me."
And then I saw it.
[You have died.]
[Reproducing the trauma of the enemy who killed you.]
I saw it, and saw it again.
[Your current Immersion Rate is 97%.]
I saw Lady Silver Lily shedding tears.
I saw her kill a man, again and again.
Every time I went back one day, I lived in her dream.
[You have died.]
[Your current Immersion Rate is 96%.]
We had loved each other in a past life.
[You have died.]
[Your current Immersion Rate is 95%.]
And we would love each other in this life as well.
Perhaps even in the next life.
[Your current Immersion Rate is 94%.]
[Your current Immersion Rate is 93%.]
[Your current Immersion Rate is 92%.]
That I had wounded you. That in places I could not see, in times I could not be with you, you had shed tears. That you had wept without a sound.
If I do not forget those things.
If I remember them, without forgetting.
[Your current Immersion Rate is 91%.]
We can love each other forever.
[Your current Immersion Rate is 90%.]
And.
And.
And.
And I went to you.
Opening the door. Crossing the garden. Running down the corridor.
You were born as the legitimate daughter of the Ivansia Ducal House. You had a sorrowful mother, and so you lived a sorrowful life. Your betrothed was decided before you were born, and from the moment of your birth, you devoted your life solely to that betrothed.
You were a white flower.
You were called the Moon of Ivansia, the Young Duchess, and, more briefly, the duke's daughter.
"You have come."
"......."
You stood in the corridor. In that dark corridor at night, you were like an island standing alone in the middle of a night sea. An endless sea surrounded you. I listened in on the waves of that sea.
Not the Young Duchess of Ivansia, not the ducal lady, not even the shorter "duke's daughter."
"Raviel."
The white flower smiled.
"I have been waiting, Gong-ja."
I.
I love you.