Chapter 84
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Translator: MadScientist
Chapter: 84
Chapter Title: Crushed by the Calamity I Invited Myself (2)
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Divine Maiden Divine Beast? What a load of crap.
The excruciating pain searing across my back—like it had been doused in liquid nitrogen—brought me several harsh realizations, enough to make me believe it was some kind of Lesser Demonic Art.
No matter how central and crowded this part of Xi'an was...
My mind had grown complacent and soft enough to let an ambush slip through so easily.
Even the impregnable defense of my Thousand Latent Black Dragon Robe...
Was vulnerable to attacks without any killing intent behind them.
I gained the insight that the Soul Moon Divine Eyes wouldn't auto-activate without killing intent either.
Passives are picky about situations, huh.
And finally...
This burning urge to kick that spawn of Satan out of the family registry as soon as possible...!
"Haa..."
I couldn't exactly yell at her in front of Great-Gramps.
So instead, I snatched the luggage from the hands of Great-Gramps, who was playing pack mule like some beta male.
I wasn't keen on playing big bro...
But a disciple's duty? That I could manage.
What a disgrace at over a hundred years old...
By low-birth-rate aging society standards, she was his great-great-granddaughter.
By fast-track speed-run tactics, she might as well be his great-granddaughter.
"Oho! Geum Sihyeon, looks like attending the academy turned you from a wastrel into something resembling a human!"
I cleanly ignored Geum Siyu's worthless drivel.
Was he a wastrel or something?
I've been suffering from all sorts of slander...!
I'm wronged. So wronged.
Really, truly wronged.
I went out of my way to turn an elder assault into a heartwarming display of filial piety, and this is the thanks I get—wastrel treatment.
To soothe my thoroughly trampled heart, I shifted my gaze elsewhere.
The profound path of fashion.
Even though the journey to the sea stretched far beyond a thousand li...
Seeing swimsuits openly sold in a fabric shop smack in the middle of the continent, in Xi'an, made my chest swell with inexplicable pride.
Simple bikinis.
Sling shots.
Monokinis too.
I committed those max-defense designs to memory.
Modder of flashy outfit modes.
Ten stars.
I recommend this mod.
"Heh heh..."
I basked in the delight, imagining real-wear shots.
"Ugh, you perv. ...Oh! This one's pretty cute, not bad?"
"Gah!"
This shameless maniac had no sense of decency.
She grabbed a swimsuit—even I had to admit it was decently cute—and held it up to her body in broad daylight.
"What's the big deal? Hmm, Uncle Sect Leader. What do you think? It suits me, right? Yeah, of course it does. It's me, after all. Obvious, right?"
"...It suits you."
Even Great-Gramps couldn't bear to look straight at that monstrosity.
He turned his head away and grudgingly played along.
"Tch, no soul in that reaction! No soul!"
Not satisfied with the response, apparently.
Geum Siyu's expression turned venomous in an instant.
"Cut the crap and let's go once you're done buying. I'm not hauling you home."
"Wha— I just got here! Not even two shichen have passed yet?"
"Who spends two shichen in a fabric shop...!"
One and a half is the max.
No need to browse two.
Shopping addiction is a disease.
Just stock up on like forty outfits like me and call it good.
Lugging along Geum Siyu, who kept pouting and grumbling...
I ended up heading back to the main house without a second thought.
I'd planned to drop the bags and bail...
"Big Bro Sirang!"
"Whoa there, if it isn't our adorable little maknae."
This was exactly why I hated coming home.
Blind to that detestable girl's true colors...
I had to witness the accomplice who'd spoiled her rotten despite the age gap.
Seeing Geum Siyu cuddling up sweetly in Geum Sirang's arms twisted my guts.
"She seems pretty affectionate. Maybe you're just trash?"
"All fake. That wench is vile."
Thwack!
"Ow!"
That spawn of Satan had finally corrupted Great-Gramps too!
What's the point of living like this!
I let out a long sigh, feeling like I'd been handed an empty lunchbox.
After fleeing back to the academy like a crybaby and regaining some peace of mind...
Time flew by until the day of grade announcements arrived.
Days like this called for daytime drinks and bets.
I rounded up the usual faces and claimed our spot at the regular tavern.
"Honestly, I beat that beggar punk."
"Hah, no way. Better than Yongtaek hyung, who just plays mahjong all day? Obviously I'm better. Even Geum hyung agrees."
"Geum Sihyeon, you bastard...!"
Me taking top spot was a given.
The bet today hinged on Unhak versus Moyong Taek's grades.
"Haha! I trust Taek. Sure, the path was a bit roundabout, but we've always gazed at the heavens together! Luck strikes one in seven times, like drawing a killer hand from a trash pile—maybe all his guesses hit!"
And today's special guest slash easy mark: Nangong Hui.
"Heh heh... Hui hyung. Got enough gold saved up?"
"Haha! As if a true man would even consider losing."
Imagining that hearty grin turning to despair already had me fighting laughter.
"Speaking of, Nangong hyung. What's the year-end exam really about? The Beggars' Sect seniors wouldn't explain properly..."
"Ah, that? "
"How would Nangong hyung know?"
"...I haven't even started explaining yet. Sihyeon, you're more impatient than you look."
Couldn't let that line slide.
Nangong Hui downed a shot and launched into his tale.
"Ahem! To explain the year-end exam simply, we need to go back to the academy's founding purpose. Warriors training in isolation—how easy is it to show off ultimate arts publicly? That's why sects developed in closed-off ways like solo manuals, but they hit limits during the last Blood Cult uprising—"
All good, but...
Like Unhak, this guy talked way too much.
Maybe that 'equal flow' realm martial artists rave about is just flying around upside down with your mouth flapping.
Thinking of the academy head, it's plausible.
Anyway, summarizing Nangong Hui's rambling...
You go to your assigned sect...
And handle the chores they hate doing. Do that, and you get your completion cert.
"First year, I got Shaolin Temple! Know about it? I went demon subjugation with Kakwon Monk, the new outer arts instructor. Shaolin arts live up to the hype! So it wasn't dangerous. The goal's to let cadets gain rivers-and-lakes experience for growth—no big risks for you guys either! Looks like it's noon!"
Beep—
Bzzz—
Giggle!
Beep—
"...Psycho."
"Sigh."
"Un dongsaeng. You look normal—why set your sound to a girl's laugh?"
The ritual roasting of Unhak's feminine ringtone ensued.
Then everyone focused on their screens.
The archaic 'Excellent/Good/Fair/Pass/Fail' grading grated a bit, but as expected, perfect scores across the board.
"Uahaha! Beggar boy, this body's a solid 28th."
"Too bad. I'm 6th."
"What?"
"Moyong Taek...! I believed in you! Shame on a Ten Great Families heir!"
I tuned out the two losers comparing peanuts—neither had tasted 1st.
Scrolled down to check my year-end exam assignment.
Mount Wudang or Shaolin would've been easy-mode bliss.
[Tang Family of Sichuan]
No such luck.
In the end...
Like it or not, my karma with the Tang Family was getting settled this year.
"Losers. Where'd you get sent?"
I shoved my screen in their faces, the 'Class Ranking: 1/98' zoomed to 500%.
"Whoa. Impressive, Sihyeon dongsaeng."
"We hung out together—why just me..."
"As expected of Geum hyung!"
Aside from Coldwater Taek's grumble, perfect reactions. They started revealing theirs one by one.
"Sichuan Tang Family for me! Never been, but fellow Ten Greats—should be great."
"Ooh. Nangong hyung too? Me as well."
Nangong Hui and Unhak outed themselves as Tang-bound.
"I had no choice but home base from the start..."
Moyong Taek murmured with oddly alienated, sad eyes.
Tempted to tease, but I held back.
"Family issues?"
"Yeah. We're not flush with cash."
"Next time we meet, you'll be down an arm."
"You just had to say it, huh?!"
I parried his headlock attempt.
The kid's a bit dumb, study-dumb, and gambling-addicted, but deep down? Solid guy.
Not dodging service makes him a patriot.
Come to think of it...
"Seol noona going too?"
I asked about Swordsis's whereabouts too.
"Probably leaving together, but she's tied to the academy unlike me—back quick. ...She became an instructor to avoid home anyway."
I'd be Tang-bound too, so a month or two apart anyway.
Her quick return? Secretly relieved...
...Why?
Why the mix of regret and relief?
Snap out of it, Geum Sihyeon!
Own your delusions!
I rang the alarm on my near-slip into Ice Vendetta's trap.
"Kyauu!"
"Tired. Slow down."
Best way to cool an overloaded brain: a walk.
Ultimate method to erase Ice Vendetta's seductive smile spinning in my head.
I forcibly overlaid visions of future Lil' Geum Sihyeon Jr. No. 12 bawling for hunger.
A healthy body houses a healthy mind.
The stroll did clear my stray thoughts a bit.
"Geum Sihyeon!"
Then, out of nowhere, wild Luri appeared again...
"What's with that face?"
Obvious enough for anyone to notice.
Cheon Luri wore a distinctly troubled expression, gazing at me with anxious eyes.