Chapter 83

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Translator: MadScientist

Chapter: 83

Chapter Title: Crushed by an Uninvited Calamity (1)

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While Geum Sihyeon was pouring his heart and soul into exorcising the demon known as final exams,

"Hm. This tea hits the spot."

Wi Jiryang was peacefully sipping his tea as usual.

These days, Wi Jiryang's luck was as good as it got.

Unlike his days in the Heavenly Demon Divine Cult, where he'd get dragged to tedious regular meetings whenever he was bored, nagged about unfinished reports, called a freeloader who did nothing but eat...

He slept when he wanted, woke when he felt like it.

Eat when hungry, drink when thirsty.

Bored? He'd spin up a round of Mind-Image Sword Debate or play go with Shin-ui.

Feeling stiff? Beat up that disciple of his, or if the kid was nowhere to be found, head to a bar and rough up Xi'an's local thugs.

When he craved a thrill, he'd sneak into the academy for a glimpse of Luri's face, then grab the Green Forest Chief or an instructor for a brawl.

"This is the life of an immortal. Heh."

It was the kind of line that would've had Geum Sihyeon correcting him: "Not an immortal, just a bum."

Most guests earned their keep by handling chores, but...

Officially unspoken or not, word had spread that he was the master served by Ten Thousand Gold Treasury Fortress's third young master—and a Heavenly Demon Divine Cult ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠alum, no less.

So today, like always, he lounged around.

His infamous title of Sword Demon felt wasted.

Wi Jiryang was living the life of a neighborhood bum turned noble layabout.

But storms never come with warning.

"Hey, you there!"

A clear, unfamiliar voice rang out from a short distance away.

So used to being called "Teacher Wi," Wi Jiryang didn't register at first.

"You, the scary-looking uncle!"

But "uncle"? That hit home.

How violent a term!

Despite being a grizzled old man well over a century, Wi Jiryang flinched at "uncle" and turned his head.

A girl stood there—unfamiliar, yet oddly familiar.

"First time meeting? New escort? Servant? Or did Mom finally take a concubine?!"

Her beaming smile screamed pampered upbringing.

Wi Jiryang pierced the déjà vu instantly.

The face resembled the lady of the house he'd passed a few times.

Geum Sihyeon's precious baby sister, no doubt—the one he griped about nonstop.

...But who suggests a concubine for their own mom?

Gazing at the girl with thought circuits as unorthodox as her brother's, Wi Jiryang chided her gently.

"This seat is no escort, servant, or concubine. Just a guest."

"Heh."

Geum Siyu's eyes flicked up and down Wi Jiryang appraisingly.

"Calling yourself 'this seat'? You look too young for that, don't you? A guest? So, a physician? Hmm, whatever. Doesn't matter. You look free. Right?"

"...?"

"Come with me—er, this lady!"

Geum Siyu spun on her heel and marched off confidently.

The conversation accelerated too fast for rebuttal; Wi Jiryang found himself swept along in her wake.

As they walked,

"Did you train external arts on your own? Your muscles are rock-solid. Good bones too—shame you didn't learn martial arts. Too late now that you're an uncle?"

"... ."

"No worries! My dad and brothers don't know a lick of martial arts, and they eat and live just fine! Oh! This lady—ugh, doesn't roll off the tongue—anyway, I wanted to learn martial arts. So I can beat up bad guys later. Like demon cultists? Know any? They kidnap people and train them or whatever! My teacher told me!"

"... ."

The verbal barrage assaulted Wi Jiryang, who'd reached the realm of zero rebuttals.

As a former kidnappee himself—and squarely in the "demon cult bad guy" category—he could only exercise his right to silence.

"Oh, miss! When did you get back?"

"Whoa, Soyang? You've gotten so pretty! Yeah, just got back!"

She seemed well-liked in the household; folks greeted her warmly, suggesting a good heart.

"But who's with you...?"

"Self-proclaimed 'this seat' uncle? Borrowed him for a bit!"

"It's not self-proclaimed 'this seat'..."

"Shh!"

Geum Siyu pressed a finger to Wi Jiryang's lips.

"Teacher said overstrong words make you seem weak. Mess up 'this seat,' and you'll run into evil demonic overlords or bandit bosses—they'll beat you silly! Be careful!"

...Like Geum Sihyeon.

Wi Jiryang thought of his insolent disciple, whom he called "brat" when annoyed, and sighed unwittingly.

Blood truly ran thicker than water.

Whenever he tried to retort, ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠her chatter outdid even her brother's endless prattle.

Drained of energy, Wi Jiryang silently trailed Geum Siyu.

Until her steps halted before Xi'an's grandest four-story fabric shop.

"...Why are we here?"

Wi Jiryang finally broke his silence.

"Duh. Shopping! Oh, 'this seat' uncle doesn't know Western tongue? Shopping means buying clothes!"

"But why... Haah, why bring me?"

Geum Siyu just grinned at him like it was obvious.

"Carry my stuff."

"...?"

The Heavenly Demon Divine Cult's martial powerhouse—the Mount Wudang head recognized as Supreme Under Heaven—furrowed his brow, reduced to porter.

"No backing out now! Come on, come on, let's go! Been forever since I came—gotta buy a ton!"

Seeing nothing ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠amiss, Geum Siyu beamed and shoved Wi Jiryang onward.

In her demeanor,

Geum Sihyeon overlapped again—wailing "Aww, my favorite robe's torn!" whenever training ripped his clothes.

Wi Jiryang shook his head.

Still, he wasn't ungrateful for the freeloading hospitality.

One day catering to this pampered flower wouldn't hurt.

Anyone from the Heavenly Demon Divine Cult who knew him would think he'd finally lost his marbles.

With that, he let go of everything and followed like a dutiful porter.

They say enemies meet on a single-log bridge.

"Ah, what the—?!"

Geum Siyu suddenly glared somewhere and huffed.

Wi Jiryang's gaze whipped that way too.

There,

Geum Sihyeon stood, inspecting a scrap of scandalous fabric—like a woman's undergarment—with utmost stern seriousness, as if appraising fine art.

Thud, thud, thud.

Geum Siyu advanced like a general stamping forward.

And then.

"Take this! Divine Maiden Palm!"

With ferocious momentum unfit for a first-rater, she unleashed a merciless backhand strike on Geum Sihyeon's exposed flank.

Smack!

"Guhk—"

Even a peak realm expert crumbled helplessly to a first-rate sneak attack from kin.

Clutching the stinging pain on his back,

Sihyeon barely turned to identify his assassin.

"Ah, you little... Uh...?"

His furrowed glare met Wi Jiryang's face and shattered into a thousand expressions.

: : Shut it. : :

Somehow immersed in his "this seat uncle" role, Wi Jiryang signaled silence.

As Geum Sihyeon short-circuited,

"Pfft, what? Peak expert, my ass—a total klutz!"

Geum Siyu giggled and slapped another Divine Maiden Palm into his side.

"Ah, damn it, you psycho...!"

Unable to raise his voice,

Geum Sihyeon growled low.

Undeterred,

"Hey, 'this seat' guest uncle? This dummy's my blood kin—er, precisely, third bro. Seen him before?"

"Hm, 'dummy looks'... Apt. Sadly, I'm the master of that third bro dummy."

"Eh?!"

Geum Siyu glanced between Wi Jiryang and Geum Sihyeon.

Her look carried a subtle "You? Really?"—cracking even Wi Jiryang's composure after his sly jab.

Wi Jiryang sighed deeply.

"Side by side, the resemblance is clear."

Strip Geum Sihyeon's cocky smugness, replace with bubbly arrogance.

Shave the bones a touch, add makeup—she'd be Geum Siyu.

With skillful bone-shrinking and makeup, the likeness could be uncanny.

But.

His frank assessment crashed into massive backlash.

Geum Sihyeon retched, face twisting to pre-murderous fury.

"Me and this half-baked twerp?!"

Geum Siyu fired back venomously.

Wi Jiryang turned away from the sibling self-loathing spectacle.

While the prideful dummy siblings hurled habitual barbs,

finals long over,

the Hundred Flowers Academy's instructor lounge burned hot with debate.

"We can't ignore regional ties. Send our Sichuan-based students to Shandong? The round trip alone would end their training."

"Arms bend inward, but favoring hometowns defeats the purpose! Assignments must be fair and random. Draw lots."

The year-long curriculum—from September to January—remained unchanged since the academy's founding.

Assign students to one of the Nine Great Sects or Ten Great Families to complete their task.

But implementation sparked heated debate yearly.

"Amitabha."

The academy head—with final say—

chanted to calm the room.

Moonpine Monk's words soothed:

"Instructor Baek has a point, and touring the Central Plains is training too. But excessive distance burdens students. This year, adopt Instructor Nangong's view: nearby regions. Exclude places with personal ties based on profiles."

No one dared challenge the verbose elder's decree, so it seemed settled—

"Um, excuse me..."

Until Huangbo Yun timidly raised her hand.

"What about... Cheon Luri student?"

"Amitabha. This monk forgot something—must step out."

A fleeting golden halo from his Supreme Buddhist Radiant Immortal Steps,

the sole trace Moonpine Monk had been there.

After fiery debate,

Remote areas like Moyong Family, Shandong's Mount Tai Clan—

Cheon Luri joined them:

complete her assignment at home base—

Heavenly Demon Divine Cult.