Even I Don't Know Myself That Well (6)
“This is ridiculous… I’m trying to talk to you, senior, and you’re just sleeping!” Lee Eunji shouted, but no reply came. Instead, only a steady purring sound filled the infirmary. The rhythm was so regular and soothing that it carried an almost peaceful quality. It was enough to drain away any urge to keep arguing.
Thanks to that, the irritation she had felt toward the junior—who she suspected was a first-year—quickly faded. Lee Eunji, the second-year from Class 4, turned her gaze to the window, leaving the cherry-blossom-haired junior asleep behind her. Reflected in the glass was her own bandaged, battered self. The sight of her miserable reflection brought back the frustration she had been trying to ignore.
“…I could have won this time.”
Lee Eunji had been looking forward to this practical exam. She had been confident she could finally beat her rival, Jang Hayeon. She had trained hard enough to believe it. She had the skill to back it up. Looking back at the match, she really could have won. Against Jang Hayeon, she had always been one step ahead—except for the very end.
“If only it hadn’t been for that last moment…!”
Regardless of how it happened, Lee Eunji had lost. Her sword had refused to move the way she wanted at the crucial instant. Everything had been normal, under her control. It had been perfect. Even thinking it over afterward, she couldn’t find a single mistake. So it had to have been an accident. Her defeat was caused by a slip-up. Nothing more, nothing less. Probably the tension of being on the verge of victory had made her palms sweat. Or maybe she had gripped the sword harder than she realized. Or perhaps—
“…Forget it. I lost again anyway.”
She had lost to Jang Hayeon again and again. While she had won a fair number of unofficial matches, her official record was still a losing one. Could she even call herself Jang Hayeon’s rival anymore? Was she just an obstacle now? Those thoughts had been spinning in her head ever since the match ended, leaving both her body and mind exhausted. Even though the loser's bracket gave her another chance to face Jang Hayeon, she had no motivation left. Right now, all she wanted was to sleep, just like the junior beside her. Lee Eunji was that tired.
She must have dozed off. How much time had passed? She checked the clock on the wall. The hands pointed to a little past one in the afternoon.
Guess I slept for about an hour.
Lee Eunji sat up, pressing a hand to her throbbing head. The school nurse was probably still out because the practical exam hadn’t finished yet. No other students seemed to have come in either. From the next bed came only the constant sound of a cat grooming itself.
“She really can sleep.”
It had been two years since she gave up on sleep as a physiological need. Ever since entering Magical Girl Academy, she had never lain down in bed with a clear mind. She had used that time to study theory or shut herself in the training hall to keep moving. Thanks to that, she had earned a few Astra badges and earned a good reputation among the teachers, but—
“Still not enough…”
When she thought about her future, none of it mattered. Anyone who wanted to become a magical girl aimed for a job at the Magical Girl Association. The Association was such a dream workplace that some people even attended private academies for a second try after graduating. As the perennial second-ranked student at the Academy, Lee Eunji had a decent chance of getting hired, but it wasn’t one hundred percent certain. The top-ranked student would be guaranteed a position as long as there were no personality issues, but second place didn’t have that guarantee. She would have to compete against other magical girls from across the country again.
“This practical exam was my last chance to take first place.”
The exam held a year from now would be useless. Third-years, the graduating class, would be out on field training and internships, so the third-year exam would only involve students who weren’t doing off-campus activities. Even if she took first place in that half-hearted test, it wouldn’t impress the Association. The train had already left the station for her.
“…Haa. I really wanted to join the Association.”
What kind of work would she end up doing? She would definitely become a magical girl—she would never give up on that dream, no matter what. But the question of what kind of magical girl she would be was what worried her.
“Purr… phaa.”
The junior, still a first-year and ignorant of how harsh the world really was, probably didn’t understand this brutal reality. That was why she could stretch out her legs and sleep so peacefully. What was I like when I was a freshman? Lee Eunji thought back to this time last year. She remembered watching the upperclassmen’s practical exams, analyzing every movement, studying them, and trying to copy them. She had gained a lot and learned even more. Some seniors had become role models, while others had served as cautionary examples. And she had grown into who she was now.
Watching the upperclassmen’s exams had been the best opportunity for new students. Yet even with such a valuable chance available, the junior beside her was wasting it on sleep. It was pathetic.
“But… isn’t that exactly what I’m doing too?”
A junior wasting the present on sleep, and herself throwing away the future she had dreamed of because of a single mistake. Weren’t they the same? Both of them were equally pathetic. She had no right to scold her junior.
Who was she to talk?
The accumulated feelings of inferiority and anger at her own mistake seemed to have swallowed her emotions whole. Lee Eunji shook her head, trying to shake off the negative thoughts.
“Thoughts like this… aren’t something a great magical girl should have.”
“…What isn’t?”
“Huh…? You. When did you wake up?”
Had she heard everything Lee Eunji had been muttering to herself? The small girl stretched her body and yawned widely without paying Lee Eunji any attention. The yawn went on for more than ten seconds.
“Haaaaaaaah.”
The junior spoke. “So what? You want to become a great magical girl?”
“Of course—”
“Or do you just want a good job? Phaah.”
The junior’s words carried a sharp sting, like an awl driving straight into Lee Eunji’s chest. Feeling the conversation being pulled in an uncomfortable direction, Lee Eunji quickly asked the age of the student she assumed was her junior.
“Of course I want to be a great magical girl! That’s obvious! Anyway, what year are you? You’re a first-year, right?”
“Ah… huh? Am I? Oh. Now that you mention it, I guess I am a freshman.”
There was a limit to how absentminded someone could be. How could she not even know her own year? Lee Eunji saw her chance and snapped at the still-dazed junior.
“I’m a second-year. Got it, freshman? That means I’m your senior.”
“Ah… so this is what it feels like to be the little one.”
Even after being corrected, the junior frowned and muttered something under her breath. Was she badmouthing her senior right to her face? How arrogant.
“What did you just say? I’m talking to you.”
“No, it’s nothing… I just suddenly remembered something.”
Her curt reply made it clear she wasn’t pleased, but at least she had used polite speech. Lee Eunji had successfully asserted dominance.
“By the way, Chick Senior.”
“Chick Senior? Are you talking about me?”
“Well, there’s no one else here besides you, senior.”
Why “chick,” of all things? Being compared to a baby chicken annoyed her, but she decided to hear the junior out first.
“So? What is it, you cheeky junior?”
“I guess it’s because it’s about time to start worrying about jobs. You seem to have a lot on your mind.”
Hit right where it hurt, Lee Eunji reacted sharply. “If you know that, then why don’t you worry about yourself? A first-year shouldn’t be sleeping in the infirmary right now. You should be watching the upperclassmen’s matches and learning something useful.”
That should be enough to shut her up. Lee Eunji had been told by her friends multiple times that she looked scary when she frowned and lowered her voice. Even the teachers had warned her not to scowl so much. So she figured an ignorant freshman would naturally feel intimidated.
But the junior showed no sign of being cowed. Instead, she pushed forward brazenly and confidently.
“I’ll handle my own business, Chick Senior. Or should I say… the Master of the Greatsword Senior? The one who can’t even handle a greatsword properly?”
Crack. It felt like something had snapped inside Lee Eunji’s head.
“What did you just say?”
“I said, the unarmed fighter who can’t even use a greatsword properly—Chick Senior.”
“…You should stop right there.”
It was her final warning. But the junior ignored it and kept talking.
“…Hmm. Senior seems to take a lot of pride in the identity of ‘Master of the Greatsword.’ Even though you swing it like that.”
“What do you know about me to talk like that?!”
Faced with the furious outburst, the cheeky junior answered calmly.
“…You’re right. I don’t know anything about Chick Senior. Your personality, habits, likes, dislikes, values—none of it. But there’s one thing I do know for sure.”
A slender index finger pointed straight at Lee Eunji.
“Your talent as a magical girl, senior.”