Don't You Like Me Way Too Much?!
The 3D debut stream was over. Miss Koga's birthday stream was over. The sports day was over too.
That did not, in any sense, mean I finally had time to spare.
…Isn't something wrong with this?
I hadn't taken a single day off, and the work still showed no sign of ending. Of course it was work I wanted to do, and work I had to do. Even so, at the root of it, I was still a high school student. Mental age aside, I was a high school student who got up in the morning and had to be at school until the afternoon. It wasn't even vacation, and Golden Week had already come and gone. I hadn't rested over Golden Week either… so why was I still not allowed a break?
Maybe I'd been right all along. Stars Flow really might be a black company.
Still… if there was one small mercy, it was this.
"Great work today!"
"Th-thank you…."
The thing that had been swallowing the biggest share of my schedule was finally finished, as of today.
…Of course, something just as important was already waiting right in front of me.
"T-today's members' stream is… for exactly the reason in the title."
Living a life this ridiculously busy, what I needed most was—no matter how I turned it over—an infinite supply of praise.
Mom, my sister, Aunt Sia, even the members of Stars Flow. The people who knew what I was dealing with kept cheering me on, telling me I was working hard. But that wasn't what I needed right now. Praise from people who knew nothing. Praise with no reason behind it at all. That, in the end, was what I wanted.
But of course. Iztomo, packed wall to wall with the abuse faction, were never going to allow a thing like that so easily.
What do you think I've been working this hard for?!
The words surged all the way up my throat. I caught hold of myself and let out a sigh instead.
"Haa…. I've r-really been working hard lately, and one word of praise is too much to ask…? And you still call yourselves Iztomo…?"
Sometimes, ego-surfing the community, I'd see people call Iztomo "a fandom that only thinks about bullying their oshi." Every word of it, apparently, was true.
And yet I was sure that back in the early days of the membership streams, there had been plenty of gentle Iztomo. For some reason, the harder I worked, the more these people thought of nothing but tormenting me….
"So you do notice…? I'm not lying. L-lately I've been insanely busy…."
Chat wasn't wrong. It couldn't be helped. There was a birthday live only a few days away, and next month the first-anniversary live on top of it. A schedule with no room to be anything but busy.
…Wait a second.
"You knew all that, and you still weren't going to p-praise me?!"
Unbelievable.
The shock was so enormous I couldn't even find the words. I was this busy and still turned the stream on, and they couldn't be moved by that—they only thought about how to torment me. Where had my stream even started going wrong?
"I-I don't need affection like that…."
What I was hoping for was a world far more direct, and far kinder, than affection of that sort.
"Haa…. I-I'm tired, so that's all for today…."
"…Agh, seriously! D-don't you like me way too much?!"
Coming here alone was a first.
Mom and my sister had always been with me. And the day after tomorrow I'd be back again with the two of them anyway, but how was I supposed to put it? Just this once, I wanted to come by myself and talk.
"Dad. Tomorrow, finally, I'm doing my birthday live."
A birthday was a hard thing for me to call a simply happy day. My birthday drawing near meant exactly the same thing as Dad's death anniversary drawing near.
"…I've really been trying so hard lately. I hope everyone who watches my stream will be happy…. You think so too, don't you, Dad?"
That was why I had set Kaino Izumi's birthday on the very same day as my own. A birthday had never been a simply happy day for me, or a special one. If anything, it was a day I had wished would never come. Just pick something and move on—that was the sort of thought I'd had.
But not now.
There were so many people cheering for me. So many people who liked me. My birthday had stopped being mine alone. It had become a day I had to repay them with everything I had. So I couldn't just skate past it. It had become a happy day, a special day, for everyone who watched my stream.
Once I understood that, even the fact that I had set Kaino Izumi's birthday the same as my real one began to feel special… as if it were fate.
That Yuzuru had held on until today was, without question, a miracle. By the doctor's judgment, it was a life that should have ended at the start of the year. And yet, even through all of that hardship, he had always smiled—welcomed Seon-a's birthday, celebrated Yuki's, and at the very last, reached Mina's.
"Mm. I'm sorry, Mina…."
But on Mina's birthday, Yuzuru's body had already reached a limit where even moving a finger was impossible. That morning the doctor had said it. The time had truly come to prepare their hearts.
"I want… to congratulate you, the way I did for Mom and your sister…. It's a little hard."
An agony that even narcotic painkillers could not hold back was crashing through Yuzuru's body. Even so, he did not lose his smile. As if he could never show a face like that in front of the daughter whose birthday it was today.
"Seon-a…."
"Mm."
"I'm sorry, but… put my hand on Mina's head."
"All right…."
Seon-a lifted Yuzuru's bone-thin hand in his place and set it on Mina's head. Then, very slowly, but unmistakably, Yuzuru stroked her hair.
"Mina. Happy birthday."
A single sentence from Yuzuru, more sincere than anyone's. But hearing it, Mina burst into tears instead.
"N-no! I hate birthdays! I like Dad, so! I don't need birthdays for my whole life…! If you're going to congratulate me, do it like you did for Mom and my sister! Get up! Smile while you do it! I-if you don't, I, I hate birthdays!"
She was only seven. To Mina, a first-year in elementary school, her father's death was something she could not accept, and could not understand. So she began to make impossible, unreasonable demands, and not one person stopped her. No—they couldn't. On the birthday when she should have been celebrated most of all, Mina had been told by a doctor that the dad she loved most was going to die… and no one could understand how that felt.
"You hate your birthday? That's a little… difficult. Cough!"
With the cough, black blood spilled from Yuzuru's mouth. Seon-a and Yuki moved at once to call a nurse, but he stopped them with a look.
"Mina…. Dad… wants you to smile on your birthday…."
"No!"
"Mina. Your birthday… is the day you ought to be the most joyful, and the happiest."
"No! Nooo! I, I like Dad more than any birthday! So don't go!"
"When you say it like that, Dad… is truly sorry…. But, Mina."
Yuzuru smiled, stroking her hair slowly once more.
"It can't be helped…. Dad will go on ahead, but I'll always… love you, Mina."
"…."
"Haha…. Our Mina gets so shy around people, so Dad's a little worried…. I wanted to stay beside you my whole life and keep you safe…."
"Waaaaah!"
And at last Mina, who had been sobbing her heart out, grew exhausted and slowly sank into sleep. Yuzuru looked at her, smiled gently, then turned his gaze to Seon-a and Yuki.
"Yuki. You know… how much Dad loves you, right…?"
"I really love you too, Dad."
"Haha…. A dad who never managed to do a single thing properly for you, so I was always sorry…."
"No. If I started listing everything I got from you, there'd be no end…."
"I'm glad…. Yuki. For the last… may Dad ask just one thing…?"
"Yes…."
"Don't fight with Mina…. You're the big sister. Cherish her…. Mina gets so shy around people…. And you and Mina both take after your mom, so you're both beauties, so be careful of boys, haha…."
"Yes…!"
At those words, Yuki smiled faintly, and the tears fell.
"Seon-a."
"Mm."
"Jia, and Minah. I'll leave them to you…."
"Mm."
"There were so, so many things I wanted to do with you…. I'm sorry. And I love you…."
"Mm. I love you too. My whole life. More than anyone, I love you most…."
And Seon-a took his remaining hand and wept.
"Mm…. I really, really love you all…."
Mina's birthday had passed, and with those words for his last, Yuzuru closed his eyes.
Still smiling, to the very end.
The founding anniversary of Shiodome Private High School, the school I attended now, fell on June 12th—the same day as my birthday. Thanks to that, and to Stars Flow's kindness in telling me to spend the evening with my family, I had been able to set the birthday live for six in the evening.
Just like the 3D debut stream, Iztomo were already burning up the chat, and just like last time I had the VR headset on, steadying my breath. If I had to compare the two, though, I was far more nervous now.
"Zero! Starting!"
But more than the nerves, I couldn't wait to see what kind of reaction you'd have when you saw this. Dad would be looking forward to it too. I was sure of that.
"L-let's all enjoy today together…!"
Brilliant lights struck the darkened stage, and the opening bars began to play.
Right about now, these words had to be up on every Iztomo's screen.
Today, too, I'll keep moving forward.
Because a dream is definitely waiting, right there…!