The Trigger (2)
Miria fanned her flushed face with her hand as she spoke. "From now on, if you're going to say something, say it properly. Don't cut off the front or back."
Even though it was small, Miria's divine power gave off a warmer and cozier feeling than anyone else's. Only after hearing Nasha's full explanation of what she meant by "like" did Miria finally calm down.
That's dangerous. Hearing words like that from a face like hers.
Miria already knew that Nasha would always steal glances and compare their bodies or appearances. She also knew Nasha would sigh while looking at her chest and face. Seven years had forced her to see things she would rather not.
Is it a lack of self-awareness?
It was Miria, rather, who found Nasha's behavior strange. She was fine with everything else, but when it came to her own appearance, Nasha seemed completely unable to be objective. Slightly different from herself, Nasha had grown so much that she was unrecognizable from the scrawny child she had once been.
Her once-dry golden hair now shone with luster and swayed beautifully thanks to Miria's careful tending. Light had settled into her previously dull green eyes, making them sparkle, and if she sat quietly, one might mistake her for a young lady from some noble house. Her body, too, had undergone astonishing growth compared to her early years.
Why do you think I never take you to the village?
Miria usually handled the village shopping runs herself. Considering the number of mouths to feed, taking Raksha or Nasha along would have been more practical. Yet Miria would either go with Raksha or bring a whole crowd of the children instead, stubbornly refusing to take Nasha with her.
At some point the number of gifts from boys her age had increased, and Nasha simply accepted them with a cheerful "I like it." Miria, who understood exactly what those gifts meant, had noticed the men's changing gazes toward Nasha and kept her carefully wrapped in protection.
This time it was Nasha's face that turned bright red. She seemed to finally realize how her words must have sounded.
"Don't forget this time."
"Huh?"
"I said don't forget. It's not that I disliked it."
"How did you know?"
"It's written all over your face."
Raksha watched the two of them with a warm, satisfied expression.
"Instead of just watching, why don't you tell us the story now? It's the director's turn."
"Are you embarrassed?"
Miria pointed at Raksha's mouth with her right hand. "You've been wanting to talk so badly that the corners of your mouth have been creeping up this whole time. I can see it, you know."
Raksha stroked the edge of his mouth and grinned. "I thought I hid it pretty well."
He cleared his throat. Raksha's eyes grew serious, taking on a grayish gleam.
"When you look at the big picture, holy knights aren't all that different from nuns or priests. We pray at set times too, and we swung our swords while others studied. The difference is that far more of us awakened our divine power during prayer. No matter how much training it is, when you're handling a sword your mind focuses entirely on that."
"What about you, uncle?"
Like a storyteller guiding his audience's reactions, Raksha adjusted his pacing. Nasha gave exactly the response he wanted, and the satisfied Raksha continued smoothly.
"Of course, I was different. Before being appointed as official holy knights, we served as apprentice knights. When an operation required holy knights, outstanding apprentices would assist them and join the mission to gain experience."
"Were you outstanding?"
Raksha squared his shoulders and thumped his chest once. "Of course. Who do you think I am?"
"The former Holy Knight Commander, current Pison Village priest and orphanage director. Of course, back then you would have been an apprentice knight."
Miria had spoken to Raksha while his shoulders were puffed up with pride. It was a small act of revenge for how happily he had watched her and Nasha earlier. But the words didn't faze him at all.
"Yes, I truly was an outstanding apprentice knight. I was dispatched with the holy knights to handle demonic beasts appearing on the border of the Demon Realm. It wasn't a large group. The information said it wasn't even a particularly strong beast. The other holy knights told us this mission was meant to give the apprentices experience. The mood was quite friendly. Until we encountered that pack of demonic beasts."
Raksha tossed the cooled tea into his mouth and stared into empty air.
"Scouting reports said at most thirty, fifty at the highest. But what greeted us at the site was over a hundred demonic beasts. There was a leader commanding the pack. An ambush. A clever one."
"Still, wasn't it manageable?"
In Nasha's mind rose the image of the first holy knight she had seen after arriving in this world—the prowess Raksha had displayed before her eyes. Understanding her thoughts, Raksha burst out laughing.
"Haha! If there had been a holy knight of my level, there wouldn't have been any problem. But not every holy knight can display such tremendous power."
"Then..."
"It was difficult. We sent one of the other apprentice knights to the nearby city for reinforcements while I and the rest held the beasts back. To be exact, they refused to let us run. They had a clear purpose. They must have been following orders from someone higher up. If the lead knight in front is injured, fall back to the rear of the formation. But I never stood in the vanguard. Even then, I carried out my duty."
Raksha's eyes remained fixed on empty space. That day's scenery was still vividly painted within them.
"It was frustrating. I had taken up the sword and sworn to God in order to protect, to establish my will, yet it was unbearably frustrating to be the one being protected. When the coordinated assault of the demonic beasts broke our formation and their claws reached the injured knights in the rear, I moved. Because I had taken up the sword to protect, not to be protected. I steadied my trembling blade and thrust it forward."
Raksha's empty hand extended forward.
"Light exploded. A light so powerful that both the demonic beasts and the knights swinging their swords all froze. Divine power born from a single desire to protect was solid and unyielding. Thanks to it, I could advance. The sword wrapped in divine power cut the beasts down, and their claws and fangs could not harm me. Standing at the front, I simply swung my sword. When I came to my senses, reinforcements had arrived and the leader had fled. They said I crossed blades with it countless times, but I don't remember that part well."
Raksha paused longer than he had at any point in the story. This was the highlight in his mind.
"No one died. There were injuries, but none that would hinder their future lives. I protected them all."
The smile on Raksha's face as he spoke was the proud smile of a holy knight, not a priest or orphanage director.
"You don't have to show us your divine power."
"It's fine. You've never seen it properly, have you?"
The gray radiance that called to mind a fortress wall felt utterly solid, yet it shook unsteadily as if riddled with cracks.
"Commander! Are you really leaving?"
A holy knight pushed past the guards at the door and stood before Raksha. His armor, different from the others, showed he was no ordinary knight.
"Vice-commander. Have you come for the handover? I believe I already gave you everything necessary."
Raksha looked up, studied the vice-commander once, then returned to packing his belongings.
"I cannot accept this."
"This isn't a matter of acceptance. This body can no longer stand on the battlefield. It's right for me to step down."
"Then at least don't leave. Please teach this still-lacking junior of yours."
"Do you truly think you're lacking?"
Raksha lifted his head and examined the vice-commander. The aura pouring from him made the man swallow unconsciously.
"Steelmeer. In my eyes, you have already reached the proper path. All that remains is for you to grow on your own with time. Humility is good, but excessive humility is poison."
Having checked that he had packed everything, Raksha picked up a box.
"Take care."
"All for just one child..."
Raksha, who had been walking past Steelmeer after the farewell, suddenly stopped in his tracks. He turned, brow furrowed.
"What did you just say?"
"I followed your instructions and conducted the examination, but I could not sense any divine power. All for one child. Why would you sustain such injuries and retreat to the countryside to run an orphanage over one mute little girl who can't even speak!"
"Steelmeer."
Raksha's voice settled heavily inside the room. Steelmeer bowed his head toward him.
"Remember your position. Remember that you will soon become the Holy Knight Commander who stands above every holy knight."
"Yes."
"And what is the duty of a holy knight?"
"To uphold God's will, establish one's own belief, and protect it."
"Was that mute child a demon or a human?"
"She was human."
"Was that young girl a demon or a human?"
"She was human."
Raksha took one step closer to Steelmeer.
"I hope you have understood my words, Steelmeer."
Silence fell. In that silence, only the sound of footsteps leaving the room and the rustle of saluting guards' uniforms filled their ears.
Raksha's gaze returned from the memory and settled on Nasha. As if she remembered that moment too, Nasha could not hide her guilt. Just as Raksha had feared, Nasha remembered it clearly—the moment he had overexerted his divine power to protect her alone and suffered an irreversible wound.
"Nasha."
Raksha reached across the table and took Nasha's awkwardly hovering hand.
"You never asked, so I never spoke of it, but I think it's time I did."
Do you regret it?
Not in the slightest.
Raksha had simply followed his conviction. The conviction to protect those in danger. Moreover, in that place Raksha had seen it—purity itself. He had seen divine power in its most essential form enveloping the young Nasha. He had heard a faint whisper telling him to protect the child. That was why he had swung his sword with even greater certainty in his belief. Therefore there was no regret.
Even if I returned to that moment, I would still take up the sword.
Raksha drew Nasha's captured hand closer to where his divine power pulsed.
"I absolutely do not regret it."
It felt exactly as solid as it appeared. Raksha's divine power gave the impression of a fortress wall that would never crumble, no matter the moment. And at the same time—it was warm. Unlike the coldness one usually associated with fortress walls, this felt warm. Unlike the distant glimpse she had caught before, within the completely gray radiance small yet undeniably present white lights were busily rotating around it.
"It's what you gave me."
Raksha, who had been following Nasha's gaze, spoke. Nasha lifted her head and met his eyes.
"So don't feel sorry."