The Saintess Who Refuses to Pray
A few days after the unemployed crisis, Helen left the village with a light heart for the first time in a while. Her basket was filled with freshly baked bread from Auntie Anna. She’ll be surprised if I show up without saying anything. Helen’s steps turned toward the dirt path worn by people’s footsteps. It was thanks to the pleasant surprise that her herbs had sold faster than expected. With that newfound free time, Helen decided to repay the favor by bringing bread to the church.
After passing a gentle hill, the orphanage and church building came into view like tiny dots, along with children running and playing out front.
“Oh my, what brings you here? And what’s all this bread?”
Sister Miria was the first to greet Helen. In her arms were piles of laundry she had just taken down—soft, dry clothes still warm from the sun.
“Auntie Anna gave me some bread. I thought I’d share it with everyone.”
“Really? Thank you. We’d love to give you something in return, but we don’t have anything ready right now.”
Helen waved her hands, insisting it was fine. “It’s okay. It’s partly thanks to Nasha anyway.”
“Nasha?”
Miria closed her eyes for a moment as if trying to recall something. It didn’t take her long to remember.
“Ah, the herbs she sold for you?”
“She told you about that?”
“Yes. She said she sold the herbs to some kids who got into a fight so they could treat their injuries.”
“Ah… she went that far.”
Helen wondered if Nasha had told her everything, but from Miria’s reaction, it seemed she had edited the story somewhat. Still, Miria wasn’t the type to miss the strange look that crossed Helen’s face.
“There was more to it, wasn’t there?”
“Huh?”
Miria stared at the flustered Helen for a moment before adjusting her grip on the basket of clothes.
“Come inside first. We can’t keep a guest standing out here forever.”
Helen set the basket of bread on the table and looked around. The orphanage Miria had led her into felt completely empty.
“Where’s Nasha?”
“She’s praying right now.”
Nasha? Praying? The disbelief must have shown on Helen’s face, because Miria let out a small laugh.
“Hard to believe, right?”
“Prayer time is already over, isn’t it?”
“It is. But she’s still at it.”
“Did something happen?”
“It did. Something very big.”
“Revoking my qualifications?”
“Lower your voice.”
The children who had been studying together all turned to stare at Nasha. Once they went back to their books at Miria’s reminder, the two adults continued their conversation in hushed tones.
“Where did a rule like this suddenly come from?”
“It’s not sudden. There’s never been a time limit on apprentice nun qualifications, so someone could technically stay an apprentice until they died if they wanted. There have always been people who needed more time to awaken their divine power, just like you.”
“I know that much.”
“But people started abusing it. Once you pass the exam, you get the title. So more and more people began treating it like a lifelong job.”
The salary difference between full nuns and apprentices wasn’t that big. Considering apprentices had far less work, it was actually surprising that such abuse hadn’t appeared sooner.
“Then just revoke it for those people. Why me?”
“The higher-ups decided this was a good time to revise the rules. The church’s finances have been tight lately, so they’re looking to cut expenses.”
“And I happen to fit the conditions?”
Raksha nodded at Nasha’s question. She understood what he meant, so she couldn’t find any words to argue.
Miria, who had been watching the children, joined their conversation.
“But Director, isn’t the deadline too short?”
“It seems the message was delayed. According to the letter, it should have arrived at least two or three months ago.”
There was a saying that once things started going wrong, they kept going wrong. Nasha thought her situation fit that perfectly. According to the letter, she had less than a week left. That was the only way Raksha could send his reply to the empire in time.
“Let’s wait and see for now. There might be more news coming.”
“Yeah. In a way, we still have a whole week left.”
That was all the comfort Raksha and Miria could offer a dejected Nasha.
“You seem to be in a bad mood today, so rest in your room.”
“I’ll call you for dinner.”
Accepting their kind words, Nasha returned to her room. The moment she stepped inside, she flopped onto the bed and stared blankly at the ceiling.
Ah, I’m screwed.
Raksha’s explanation had hit a sore spot for her too. Of course, she had wanted to awaken her divine power to repay Raksha and Miria for their care. But that was completely separate from the fact that being an apprentice nun meant less work and more comfort.
What the hell am I supposed to do?
When she had first reincarnated as a girl and was told she had to fix her habits and live as a nun, every single day had been brutal. The mind of a man in his twenties clashing with the body of a ten-year-old girl. The friction that gap created had been intense. Now it had blended together well enough that there were no issues, but she still cringed at the memory of when she couldn’t even speak properly.
She could confidently say that life as an apprentice nun was far better than her previous existence. Even though she had once hated the idea of becoming a nun, the thought of losing her current life left Nasha feeling restless.
This life… I really like it now.
These days, when she closed her eyes, the faces that came to mind first weren’t her parents or friends from her past life, but Raksha, Miria, Helen, and the children. It was different from the solitary life she had lived before. She couldn’t give it up.
The moment Nasha bounced up from the bed, the door opened. Miria flinched at the sudden movement but quickly softened her expression.
“Time for dinner. Come down.”
When Nasha looked out the window at Miria’s words, the sky was already dyed red. She smiled at the unobstructed view.
“You seem to have cheered up.”
“Well, who do you think I am?”
Seeing Nasha back to her usual self, Miria looked relieved.
“Hurry down. Arni and Arsen are getting tired of waiting.”
Nasha sprang fully off the bed. She followed Miria, who held the door for her, down the stairs.
I’ll try. Doing something has to help, right?
Nasha, who prided herself on having lived the most intense previous life imaginable, recalled those old memories to protect the peaceful days she had now.
“So that’s why she’s at the church.”
“She’s been like that since morning prayers, so she should be back soon.”
The moment the two finished speaking, Nasha came in, using the wall for support. Her other hand was massaging her leg, clearly showing how long she had been kneeling.
“Helen?”
“Surprise!”
Helen lifted the basket full of bread with a bright smile. Nasha waved back, but her expression darkened for a split second.
I didn’t tell her.
Helen mouthed the words silently in front of Miria. After reading her lips, Nasha’s face returned to normal.
“You don’t look well. Did you overdo it?”
Miria, assuming it was fatigue from the long prayer, worried over her instead.
“I’m fine. Perfectly fine.”
Nasha lied, avoiding Miria’s eyes. The warm brown gaze full of concern didn’t catch the deception.
Watching Nasha squirm under Miria’s attentive care, Helen remembered something. The way Miria had tried to ask her if anything else had happened.
“U-um, I should get going now.”
“Already? Why don’t you stay and have some bread with us?”
“No, it’s okay. I just remembered I have something urgent to do.”
“Really? That’s too bad.”
After a quick goodbye, Helen hurried out of the orphanage.
“Helen?”
Raksha, who had just returned with the children, looked in the direction she had gone.
“She brought bread to share with us.”
“Oh dear. I didn’t even get to thank her.”
As he scanned the path with a regretful expression, Helen was still running toward the village.
“Bread!”
The children spotted the basket on the table and reached for it all at once. Just as Manny’s hand was about to touch it first, Miria lifted the basket high.
“You’ve been playing outside. Wash your hands first.”
“Yes!”
At Miria’s stern face, the children scampered off to clean up. Once only the three adults remained, Raksha asked,
“Any progress?”
Nasha silently shook her head.
“It’s all right. Let’s eat the bread when the kids come back.”
“Director.”
Raksha, who had been pulling out a chair to sit, froze in an awkward position and looked at Miria. It was the same look he gave the children.
“Go wash your hands too.”
With a dry cough, Raksha stood up and headed to where the children had gone.
Miria, who had been lying in bed, slowly sat up.
She still hasn’t come in.
In the soft moonlight, Nasha’s bed was empty. Miria had been about to lie back down but eventually rose from the bed. The night had fully entered autumn, and it was too chilly to wander around in thin pajamas. She wrapped herself in a thick coat, opened the door, and went down the stairs. There was no hesitation in her steps.
Through the slightly open door, Miria slipped into the church as quietly as possible. There, she saw Nasha.
Kneeling with both hands clasped, praying exactly as Miria had taught her. It was different from a few days ago when she had needed constant correction. Her hard work was clearly showing.
Hoo.
Because it was such a large building, it felt even colder than the room. The breath that left Miria’s mouth also formed a small cloud in front of Nasha. She didn’t seem to have any intention of getting up, as if unsatisfied with her efforts.
Miria’s footsteps echoed across the stone floor as she approached. Nasha flinched at the sound, steadied her breathing, and focused on her prayer again.
Just let her do what she wants.
Even so?
You know her personality. Let’s just watch over her.
Miria stopped behind Nasha and unfolded the item she had been carrying. Something thick and warm settled over Nasha’s tense back. With careful hands, Miria draped the coat over her, then her footsteps faded into the distance. The coat carried the gentle warmth of Miria’s body.