I Worked Really Hard Today, Too
After returning from the hearing, Lee Siyeon had begun to falter in front of others for reasons she couldn’t explain. She would freeze up, looking foolish, her hands trembling even when she stood perfectly still. If anyone spoke to her, she instinctively shrank into herself. It hadn’t always been like this. At some point she had started noticing her own stuttering and thinking how pathetic it sounded. Without realizing it, she began keeping her eyes fixed on the ground, constantly reading the room. Lonely, endlessly lonely days.
After that, accidents began happening with strange frequency in any operation that included her. She would lose control of her ability mid-battle, and team members started getting hurt. It was the perfect opening. The press and media tore into her without mercy. She was dragged before another hearing. By the second one, even the fans who had once supported her had turned their backs. Everyone cursed her name.
She became terrified of turning on her phone. There was no one left in the world who would love her. The doubt was so complete that she sometimes wished she could simply fall into a world where no one existed at all. She had been a promising talent who had never once experienced the drawbacks of her own power. The shock of her first real failure was overwhelming. She sometimes thought it would have been easier if she were the type to blame others. Instead she only wiped away her tears, feeling stupid for doing even that. Whenever moisture gathered in her eyes, her head would drop on its own. People hated seeing those tears, so she had to hide them.
The drops running down her cheeks were clearly white and transparent, yet when she pressed her wrist against them to stop the flow, they felt like a completely different color to her. She kept pressing them down, packing them tighter, until they hardened into black lumps deep inside her heart. Every time she swallowed them, the whole world looked pitch black. In a tiny whisper she asked, Is there no white world? The world offered no reply.
That was how Lee Siyeon’s mental fortitude—the single greatest force that let her control her ability—began to fracture. As operations continued, the complaints and stress among the team members grew unbearable. Naturally all of it flowed toward the team leader, who welcomed the opportunity with open arms.
Yoo Seolah, leader of the 1st Raid Team, had hated Lee Siyeon from the very beginning. The male ability user she had liked gave his contact information to Siyeon the moment the girl joined. She couldn’t stand the way the two of them kept giggling together during missions. The man who barely smiled at her would turn gentle and warm the instant he saw Siyeon. During one raid both of them were injured, yet he carried Siyeon to the medical team first, leaving her behind while he fussed over the other girl. On the weekend he claimed he was busy, yet she saw him smiling as he asked Siyeon what her plans were. And then he bought two cups of coffee and gave one to that damned bitch… Again. And again. And again. That fox-like whore… The moment the chance came, she would definitely…
The opportunity arrived for Yoo Seolah sooner than expected. After Siyeon’s second hearing, everyone inside Purple Hall began to despise her. It was only natural. Monsters had swarmed right up to the forward base. Everyone feared death, and the cause had been Lee Siyeon. All Yoo Seolah had done was move a chair, yet her plan succeeded perfectly. The media that once cheered for her, the public that once loved her, the Association that once backed her—every last one of them vanished. The conditions were flawless.
The other team members now openly tormented the girl they had once only insulted behind her back. They saw her as nothing more than a broken thing shoved away in the storage room. Yoo Seolah, reading the atmosphere perfectly, no longer hid the emotions and stress she had accumulated because of Siyeon. She struck at the most painful places without hesitation.
“Hey. Lee Siyeon.”
“...”
“Lee Siyeon!!”
“Y-yes! Team leader…!”
“Sigh… you stupid bitch. Go pick up the supplies.”
“Understood…”
Even inside the dungeon, when the supply drop arrived through the portal, she was always the last to gather the items the others had thrown onto the floor.
“Pfft. Team leader, why are you throwing them on the ground like that?”
“What? Then you deliver them yourself.”
“Sure, why not. Hey, catch.”
The man kicked the supply pack that lay crumpled on the ground. It rolled and tumbled until it stopped in front of her.
“Pfft. What are you doing? Don’t want the supplies?”
“N-no… Th-thank you…”
“Thank you? Pffft, hahaha. Is she out of her mind?”
“She’s just stupid. It’s time for the strategy meeting. Let’s go.”
“Understood~”
The pack she picked up had the words S-class Ability User Special Supply Pack printed on it. Calling it “special” felt almost cruel. The items inside were stuffed in so carelessly they looked like trash. The other team members had taken all the proper supplies for themselves and crammed the leftovers into hers.
Lee Siyeon never reported it to the Association. After all, there was no one in the world who would help her anyway. If word of discord got out, she would only be the one ripped apart. That was what she told herself.
One day the 1st Raid Team headed into an operation in Helton Canyon, a place crawling with monsters. It was an S-rank trouble spot. If they could clear it, they would be able to build a supply route that would expand the forward base inside the Hall. Yet no matter which team challenged the canyon, the battles always dragged on. There were no especially powerful monsters, but the difficult terrain and sheer numbers made it exhausting. The Association simply slapped an S-rank label on it to discourage unnecessary expenditure of resources and manpower.
Then one day Yoo Seolah submitted a report stating that her team would tackle Helton Canyon. The Association naturally wanted the canyon cleared, but given the 1st Team’s usual role, it made more sense for them to handle stronger, more difficult dungeons. Fighting hordes of monsters crammed into a narrow canyon was simply too much of a hassle. Still, Yoo Seolah seemed to have come up with some confident plan. She led the team out even before official approval came through.
Upon reaching the canyon, the team sent out drones to scout. The long ravine was packed with monsters crouched shoulder to shoulder along its length. A head-on assault was clearly impossible. Using bait was the most reasonable tactic. So Yoo Seolah chose the method with the least risk and the greatest efficiency.
Lee Siyeon. She put her at the front. After all, she was the S-class ability user everyone hated.
“You can’t even control your ability properly, can you? What will you do if you attack our own people?”
“I-I’ll still try my best… But without support…”
“Shut up! Are you talking back to me right now?”
“N-no, team leader…”
“Get on with the operation.”
“Really? By… by myself…?”
“How many times do I have to tell you I have a plan?”
“Understood…”
She walked alone toward the point the team leader had indicated. Her steps were heavy, but she believed in the plan. They were still a team, after all.
Of course Yoo Seolah had never intended to provide any support. She planned to torment the girl under the guise of an operation.
“Team leader. Siyeon is almost at the point.”
“Is she?”
“Pfft. We’re getting a comm request. Should I connect it?”
“Obviously. Put her through.”
— T-Team leader… There are t-too many monsters… P-please send support right away—
— Enough. Just poke them lightly and lure them to the other side.
— Th-this… I can’t do it alone…
— Seriously… How is an S-class ability user this much of a coward? Well, can’t be helped.
“Request fire support.”
“On which coordinates?”
“You can see it. The white dot.”
Yoo Seolah pointed at Lee Siyeon’s marker blinking on the tactical radar. A single white dot flickered among countless red dots representing monsters.
“Wow… Team leader…”
“Tell them it’s only monsters. That way they’ll unload everything.”
“Hmm, sure. Got it. Pfft. This is gonna be fun~”
— Team leader…? Y-You can’t be serious…
— You have that Berserk ability, don’t you? If you can’t do it, I’ll make you.
“This is Helton point 23-42. Requesting fire support.”
— Uh, ah, a-ah… ah…
— T-Team leader…! W-Wait a second…!!
“There are no allies present. Only monsters. Requesting incendiary rounds as well.”
— Team leader!! Team leader— (static)
“Command reports successful strike.”
“Relay to the team. Prepare to move to the conquest point.”
“What about Siyeon?”
“Don’t know. That fox bitch can go die for all I care.”
Yoo Seolah’s mood soured as she stared at the radar. The explosion had been loud enough to cut off communications, yet the white dot representing Siyeon continued moving toward the opposite side of the canyon.
“Hehe. She really is S-class after all, huh?”
“Are you going to relay the message or not?”
“Right away~”
That day, for the first time, Lee Siyeon resented her own ability. No—she became terrified of it. Battles had always begun with her hands, but today was different. Countless shells rained down from headquarters, all detonating around her. They followed wherever she moved. She couldn’t tell what they were even aiming at. The explosions became signals announcing the start of combat to her body. Her survival instincts kicked in and her legs tried to charge the clustered monsters. It made no sense. She tried to retreat. She was definitely trying to move backward, but her body refused to listen.
“Why…? Why do I keep moving forward…?”
She had to run. She needed to escape, yet her body kept turning around.
“Ah… ah, a-ah… the ability won’t…”
Tears spilled over. It was too frightening.
“Hic… ugh… the ability… again… I can’t control it… hic…”
Her strong mental resistance had always let her regain control quickly before. For some reason it wasn’t working now. Still, if she wanted to survive, she had to focus. She bit her lip until it bled and begged her own body.
“…Please… just once… just this once…”
Three days later she barely managed to drag her heavy body back to the forward base. Her clothes hung in tatters. Through the rags, her skin showed countless scrapes, bruises, and blood. Yet no one paid her any attention. It felt as if the world was spinning without her in it.
She headed straight for the medical team. A large screen on the wall of the infirmary was playing the news.
She felt like a fool. Lee Siyeon thought she was truly pathetic. The words that had left her mouth after hearing that news felt unbearably stupid.
“I-I’m glad… Everyone’s… safe…”
“What are you doing?”
“Ah, n-nothing. Um… I mean…”
“How many times do I have to tell you to go straight to the recovery room?”
“I-I’m sorry… I was too out of it…”
“Good grief… So what Seolah said about you being brainless is true.”
“…Then I’ll be going…”
Lee Siyeon weakly tightened the bandage wrapped around her arm and stood up. She could feel the annoyed stares on her back as she left the infirmary. She was used to it by now.
“Hic… ugh… really…”
“…Hic… really… I…”
“…Today too… hic… I really… worked so hard…”
The tears fell as if they had always belonged there.