The Loneliness Behind the Spotlight
Ep. 6) I’d been trying so hard… but I guess I was just hungry. She still hadn’t even finished half her portion, yet I’d already set my empty bowl aside and was fiddling with my phone. Hmm… sitting here doing nothing was boring. Maybe I should look up some news articles about Siyeon?
[The dumplings are really delicious too…]
Still… how could even the sound of her eating dumplings be cute? Every crisp, crunchy bite she took sounded adorable. I let the corner of my mouth lift slightly and placed my hand on the phone.
Tap-tap. 1st Raid Team Lee Siyeon < Search >
Without hesitation, I pressed the search button. Countless news articles and gossip pieces filled the screen. But something felt off. Most of the articles related to the 1st Team were about Siyeon making mistakes or failing in dungeons—pieces that pinned the blame squarely on her.
“What the hell?”
I kept scrolling through articles connected to her name. It was absurd. The headlines were all similarly sensational.
‘Lee Siyeon: No Longer Needed in the 1st Team.’
‘The Recent Massive Portal: Revealed to Be Lee Siyeon’s Mistake. Shocking…’
‘Lee Siyeon Falls Outside the Portal. Currently in Hiding.’
‘Petition to Expel Lee Siyeon from the Association Surpasses 200,000 Signatures…’
When I checked older dates, there were over a thousand articles mentioning her.
“What is all this…”
[Ah, um, ah… D-did you just search for 1st Raid Team news articles?]
“Yeah.”
[.....]
“No, but Siyeon… this is really…”
[…Why all of a sudden?]
I frowned and called her name. The comments under the articles were just as vicious as the headlines. People were hurling abuse at someone who risked her life fighting for them, all because of a few mistakes. It was pathetic.
Grind. At that moment, along with my voice, a chilling sound rang out. It was the sound of teeth grinding together.
[Don’t look…]
“What?”
I stopped scrolling through the comments. Her voice trembled the same way it had when she first tried to strangle me.
[Please don’t look at them……]
“Siyeon?”
[Not someone like Minwoo… you’re not supposed to see this, you’re not supposed to… If you do, it’ll be all wrong….]
“Why? Why are you suddenly acting like this?”
Something was wrong. It felt like I’d just stabbed her with an awl. A heavy silence followed. Flustered, I checked the inventory. I’d never seen her like this before. She was sitting with her knees pulled to her chest, face buried in them. It was strange. Between the glimpses of her usually bright expression, I caught the glint of tears. My own chest ached.
She seemed to be muttering something. I covered my ears with both hands and focused on her.
[Hic… No, that’s not it… Hiccup… No… Minwoo wouldn’t think that…]
[B-but… Hic, sob… Sob…]
[But then I’ll be alone again… Sob, hic… I don’t want to be alone…]
[Sob, hiccup… I hate it… I hate that……]
Lee Siyeon’s talent had been extraordinary. A prodigy who swept up every title—‘Youngest,’ ‘First’—and was recognized by the Association as an S-class ability user with immense promise. Her ability was Berserk. A double-edged sword that drastically enhanced physical capabilities but risked losing mental control and attacking allies. Yet she was no ordinary prodigy. Even as her body threatened to spiral into madness, she never lost her mind. It was an innate gift. A Berserk ability that never surrendered control. The kind of power worthy of an S-class in a chaotic world.
Her body grew wilder the longer a battle dragged on, but her strong mental fortitude reclaimed control within seconds. That had been true—until she was assigned to the 1st Raid Team. Before that, her mental state had been solid.
The Association had prepared for the worst-case scenario anyway. They assigned her to a team capable of restraining her even if she lost control. Naturally, that meant the strongest team: the 1st Raid Team. First among many. The teammates who welcomed her were just as charismatic and powerful as Siyeon herself. They threw her a surprise welcome party and took turns showing her around the forward base inside the Purple Hole. Even other S-class ability users who were treated like celebrities willingly gave her their contact information. Some even collapsed from cuteness while watching her shyly jot down the numbers.
Dungeons constantly spawned inside the Purple Hole. Operations where they risked their lives raiding boss-level monsters. Siyeon fought back-to-back with them in the 1st Team. Her combat prowess earned their recognition, and they grew closer. Because of the 1st Team’s nature, they frequently tackled difficult dungeons and monster raids. Every success drew intense media and public attention. Even before Siyeon joined, the 1st Team had basked in fame and public adoration. People’s expectations and interest in the 1st Raid Team were enormous.
Then everything began with the leak of a secretly filmed fancam of her inside the Purple Hole. Despite her innocent, cute appearance, she fought like she was possessed—only to return to calm focus, her long black hair swaying beautifully. The video ended with a bright, genuinely happy smile that anyone could see. The public and media stirred. The Association, with its keen nose for profit, didn’t miss the opportunity. They forced her onto a reality-style broadcast filmed inside the Purple Hole, despite her repeated refusals. That was when it started. The moment Siyeon appeared on that show, her popularity exploded.
- Ugh, she’s gonna die. Is she trying to die cleanly?
- Panel 1: Whoa… Ugh, that’s… Uh, uh…
- Panel 2: Ugh… My stomach… Suddenly…
- Panel 1: Seriously… Siyeon is amazing, right?
- Panel 2: I know… Whoa…
- I’m not scared at all. Isn’t there anything scarier?
From her love of horror movies despite her innocent face—
- Ah, aaaah! Just one more second…!!
- Panel 1: Whoa, what a waste…
- Panel 2: That didn’t kill it…
- Panel 1: But she’s really good.
- Panel 2: Right? I was surprised too.
- Ugh… Jungle diff…
To scenes of her cutely fuming while gaming. The entire nation fell head over heels for her. Other broadcasters poured money into the Association, competing fiercely to cast her. The rookie Siyeon became increasingly exposed to the media and gained public favor.
But strangely, her teammates—who had once been kind—grew colder by the day. Some grew jealous of the attention her looks received. Others secretly envied her superior talent. A rookie was getting far more spotlight than the veterans. Fans of other female ability users in the 1st Team, who had solid fanbases, frequently defected to Siyeon. Popularity among ability users meant money. Massive donations poured in for Siyeon. Royalties the Association received from broadcasters for her footage. Never in the Association’s history had there been such overwhelming interest and revenue.
Greedy bastards. Even holding that kind of money, they weren’t satisfied. They needed more impact. The Association, skilled at manipulating the public, immediately reached out to the media. They began promoting her solely for profit. From then on, whenever the 1st Raid Team succeeded in an operation, the media and press shone the spotlight exclusively on her. A collaboration between the powerful Association and the media. Naturally, the star on stage was Siyeon—and everyone else faded into the background. Teammates who didn’t generate revenue were treated like leftovers.
Thus, without realizing it, Siyeon rose to the peak of popularity. Once the public’s interest took hold, her fame knew no bounds. Over half the supplies delivered to the raid team were gifts for her. The Association, aware of her popularity, began pushing her to the forefront. From equipment to living facilities at the forward base, she received special treatment. Siyeon felt burdened, but her personality made it hard to reject the Association’s goodwill. Gradually, she drifted apart from her teammates—unintentionally.
Even when they cleared an incredibly difficult dungeon, it was Siyeon. Even when they barely defeated a 12th-grade monster, it was Siyeon. Special treatment only for her, excluding everyone else. Siyeon, Siyeon… They chanted her name until it became sickening. Because of her. Because of that one girl. Childish as it was, the original teammates continued to envy and resent her. It felt like she had stolen the popularity and honor they hadn’t even known they wanted until she arrived.
Then, at some point, the team began ostracizing her. The emotions they had hidden to appear kind—they realized they weren’t the only ones feeling that way. Eventually, her chair was removed from the strategy meeting room. At first, she stood awkwardly against the wall. But when her teammates shot her icy glares and refused to proceed with the meeting, she left the room with a crushed expression. That day, the team carried out the operation without her.
Clueless about the dynamics, she kept making mistakes. That was the beginning. When someone being bullied offers no resistance or protest, the bullying only grows more insidious and unrestrained. Operation after operation passed in ignorance. An accident was inevitable. Maybe the teammates had even hoped for it deep down.
One day, the team suffered many injuries. Reporters, sensing a scoop, swarmed the returning 1st Team. Cold-eyed teammates. As if by agreement, they all glared at Siyeon. She, somehow deflated, couldn’t say a word. Unfamiliar with the operation points, she had accidentally disturbed a monster nest resembling a beehive. Something without precedent. Monsters pushed all the way to the forward base inside the Purple Hole, and everyone within felt the threat.
Local reporters thrust microphones at her, firing questions. The sound of cameras clicking pierced her ears like needles. But Siyeon couldn’t bring herself to say she hadn’t been allowed to attend the strategy meeting. After all, she had made the mistake. She couldn’t let her personal conflicts shatter everyone’s expectations. She didn’t understand why her teammates were acting this way, but for now, it was fine if she was just a little lonely. A small, tender consideration for the world from a fragile girl. On the surface, it was wrapped in black, becoming a dark mass. But Siyeon swallowed it all without knowing a thing.
It was a massive mistake. The very next day, headlines blared: ‘The 1st Team That Knew No Failure in Operations. One Mistake by Lee Siyeon Leads to Raid Failure!!’ Everyone was shocked. The 1st Team wasn’t supposed to fail. The arrow of blame, fueled by the single word “failure,” dragged Siyeon down from her pedestal. It wasn’t a tower she had wanted to climb, yet the fall felt endlessly distant.
And the media rowed hard once the tide turned. As if they’d known this would happen, they churned out sensational articles. An S-class ability user with a cute face and figure, celebrity-like looks, the promising star of the strongest 1st Raid Team. She was perfect prey for the public to tear apart. The media and press, quick to change their tune, harassed Siyeon over the smallest issues, chewing her up like gum.
Once the media started tearing into her, the Association immediately revoked her special treatment. They only sent her summons to hearings where she was made to shoulder all the blame, offering no contact or support. She endured the hearings filled with aggressive, vulgar accusations, repeating only “I’m sorry… I was wrong…” before returning exhausted. When she returned to the team on heavy feet, her room wasn’t a special suite but a dusty storage closet. Even the others at the Purple Hole forward base, who had been caught up in the monster chaos, began ostracizing her.
Siyeon unpacked and dusted off the simple field cot before lying down. The pitch-black sky was visible through the spiderweb-covered window, and a single silver ray of light filtering through looked distorted, swollen with moisture. Even the moonlight seemed hazy now. She had thought the lonely daytime hours would feel better once they ended. Instead, what arrived was a long, long stretch of solitude.
She covered her mouth with both hands. She didn’t want anyone to hear. Her small, trembling sobs, laced with doubt, were quietly swallowed by the silent space. She wished her mood would lift even a little. No matter how loudly she cried, the sorrow lodged in her heart remained unchanged.
How much time had passed like that? Dawn was approaching, the sun about to rise. Another lonely stretch of time would come again, she thought. She couldn’t understand it. Wasn’t it obvious? All she had done was—
“…Hic, sob… Sob, hiccup….”
“Why… Why, hic, sob… Why to me….”
“Why… Everyone, everyone… Why are they like this, hic, sob….”
All she had done was work hard to save the world.