Turning Wheels (2) — A Husband and Wife's Night
Liu Bang returned home at an hour so late it felt like the dead of night, nearly dawn.
“I’m back.”
Liu Bang lifted the cloth curtain and stepped inside. The earthen floor was dark, and the fire in the stove had long since died, leaving only a faint trace of warmth. Through the crack of the inner room’s door, however, a dim lantern light leaked out. It seemed Lü Zhi was still awake.
“You’re quite late,” came her voice from inside the room shortly after. There was a slight edge to it, as if she meant to scold him for coming home so late.
“I was talking with Xiao He.”
“With Lord Xiao? Was it about work?”
“Well, something like that.”
Liu Bang kicked off his shoes and entered the room. Lü Zhi was sitting at the edge of the bed, a thimble on her finger and a needle in her hand. The flickering lantern light illuminated the side of her face, tinting her pale skin with a warm orange glow. Her black hair, left loose instead of pinned up, cascaded over her shoulders and spilled down to her chest. The thin nightclothes faintly outlined the delicate curves of her body.
Once again, her beauty struck him with vivid clarity. Liu Bang swallowed dryly without realizing it.
…She’s beautiful.
The thought came to him anew. That woman was truly beautiful. Her face on their wedding day, adorned with rouge, had been lovely, but this unguarded appearance was beautiful in its own way. An unadorned, natural beauty. A bewitching charm that could melt a man’s heart—perhaps something even she herself was unaware of.
“…Have you been drinking?”
Of course, savoring that beauty was difficult with the sharpness in her eyes. At her pointed tone, Liu Bang subtly averted his gaze and offered an excuse.
“I told you. I was with Xiao He.”
“Does the lord meet his friends just to drink? Besides, the three-day abstinence ends tomorrow.”
“Then I suppose I just won’t drink for four days instead.”
Liu Bang shook his head with a sigh. Lü Zhi said nothing more. She simply stared at him quietly for a moment before nodding and murmuring, “It’s a promise,” then turning her attention back to her needlework.
Liu Bang stood in the middle of the room for a while, looking down at her, before taking a decisive step forward as if he had made up his mind. Lü Zhi, who had been focused on her sewing, lifted her gaze again.
“My lord?”
She tilted her head in confusion.
“Is something the matter?”
“Not really.”
Liu Bang shook his head. Then, without hesitation, he plopped down heavily on the bed right beside her.
“…!”
The distance between them was close. Much closer than usual. Lü Zhi’s body visibly stiffened.
“M-my lord?”
“…Zhi’er.”
Liu Bang gazed intently at his young wife’s face and spoke.
“I want to talk with you for a bit.”
My breath caught in my throat. I could feel the fine hairs on the back of my neck stand on end.
On this late night, Liu Bang had sat down right beside me, pressed close. There was a certain resolute conviction in his eyes.
…This is insane.
As a man, I instinctively understood. This guy had come to some major decision on his way home. And the destination of that decision was… my body.
Insane. This is completely insane.
It had already been two months since we married. Had his patience finally run out?
My mind was freezing over, and the hand that had been embroidering stopped dead. Fortunately, he hadn’t immediately pounced on me, so I managed to squeeze out a voice.
“What sort of talk do you mean, my lord?”
I couldn’t show any agitation here. Agitation was weakness, and weakness was an opening to be exploited.
“Nothing too serious.”
Perhaps my rigid defense had worked. Liu Bang didn’t close the distance any further. Instead, he lowered his eyes slightly and asked in a voice lower than usual.
“Have you gotten a bit more used to life here now?”
“…Pardon?”
An unexpected curveball. I tilted my head cautiously. In this atmosphere, he was suddenly talking about adjusting?
“Life here, you mean…”
“Overall, I suppose. This place is worlds apart from the Lü family mansion. Isn’t it difficult?”
It really was an out-of-nowhere topic. I had already been here for two months; why bring up adjustment now? Still, if it kept him from pouncing, I was grateful. I recalled the mice that still popped out whenever they felt like it, the old stove that occasionally sent smoke billowing back into the house, and the toilet I had barely managed to renovate into something livable (I had installed a wooden squat toilet).
After thinking for a long while, I finally looked back at Liu Bang carefully.
“To be honest, it was difficult at first.”
“I imagine so.”
“Yes. Fetching water, lighting fires, doing laundry… everything was completely new to me.”
While a certain someone didn’t lift a finger, the words rose to the tip of my tongue but I swallowed them given the mood.
“But now I’ve grown used to it. In fact…”
A faint smile rose to my lips without me realizing it.
“I’ve even come to think it’s rather enjoyable.”
“Enjoyable?”
“Yes. Drawing water with my own hands, lighting the fire, cleaning… earning money, managing goods, minting coins… creating something with my own two hands. Strangely enough, it brings me joy.”
In my previous life, I had lived a truly unproductive existence. The only achievement I could claim was leveling up a butt-focused gacha game by dumping a million won into it every month. The running shoes and plastic models I bought in an attempt to take up hobbies were all abandoned in the corner of my room after three days.
But now? If I didn’t move, the household stopped. Conversely, the harder I worked, the more noticeably things improved. A structure where the output was honest in proportion to the input I provided. That simple mechanism was, paradoxically, enjoyable.
“Besides, I’ve made acquaintances here. In the Lü household I lived like a caged jewel, so this kind of life where I interact with people feels fresh and pleasant.”
It wasn’t just Liu Bang. The Liu Bang family—Xiao He, Fan Kuai, Xiahou Ying—and the people of Peixian. They all saw me not as Liu Bang’s wife, but as a person named Lü Zhi.
To someone who had lived more than half a year as nothing but the disposable part called “Manager Choi,” that warm, human scent was surprisingly touching.
“…Is that so.”
A small smile tugged at Liu Bang’s lips. His expression softened a little, as if relieved. It was the face of a man who had confirmed once again that this woman did not hate this life.
“Then I’m glad.”
But that gentle atmosphere lasted only a moment. Liu Bang placed his arm around my shoulder with an utterly natural motion.
“Eek?!”
Sudden skin contact. My body shuddered violently. The strong scent of alcohol and a man’s body odor rushed over me. The distance between us collapsed in an instant.
“M-my lord?”
“Aren’t you cold? It’s quite chilly tonight.”
“N-no… I’m fine… I’m fine…”
My voice began to tremble. So the talk about adjustment was just to build momentum after all! I used both hands to desperately push his arm off my shoulder. Liu Bang lowered it obediently without much resistance.
“Zhi’er.”
Instead, a gentle voice followed. I bit my lower lip and slightly lowered my head.
“…Yes, my lord.”
“I’ve always thought I should thank you.”
“Thank me…?”
“Since you came to this house, my life has changed a lot. Clearing my debts, cleaning the house, warm meals… all things I couldn’t even dream of before you arrived.”
“Those are simply things a wife should do.”
“They’re not simple at all.”
Liu Bang drew a little closer. My field of vision filled with his face.
“Xiao He told me. He said my wife is a genius. Cao Shen and Xiahou Ying feel the same, and Fan Kuai… well, as always, he goes around saying ‘Sister-in-law is the best’ like it’s his catchphrase.”
“……”
“Everyone acknowledges you like this. And that includes… me.”
Liu Bang wrapped his arm around my shoulder once more. This time, he pulled my body toward him with even greater strength.
“…!”
My body went rigid. His firm chest pressed against my shoulder. Perhaps because he had been drinking, his body heat—hot as a brazier—transmitted vividly through my thin nightclothes.
“M-my lord…”
It felt like my throat had frozen solid, but I somehow managed to force out words. I reached out and pushed him away a little harder.
“Why… why are you acting like this? You’re different from usual.”
“Different?”
“Well…”
I couldn’t say, You’re trying to pounce on me right now. That would only provoke him. Instead, I put more strength into the arm pushing him away.
“Usually… you keep more distance…”
“Distance. Right.”
Liu Bang nodded. But he didn’t pull back.
“I kept my promise to you.”
“What promise?”
“On our wedding night, you said you weren’t mentally prepared.”
Liu Bang lifted his gaze to the ceiling. A bitter smile flickered across his face.
“And like an idiot, I said I would wait. That I would wait until you said you were ready.”
“…Yes.”
“But…”
Liu Bang lowered his eyes and looked straight into mine again.
“It’s already been two months, Zhi’er. Two months.”
Two months. The words sank like a stone deep into my chest.
Well… it is quite a long time…
I couldn’t say anything. Instead of pressing me, Liu Bang simply stroked my shoulder lightly.
“I’m not trying to scare you. I have no intention of rushing you. I’m just… curious right now.”
Liu Bang placed his hand under my chin. Gently, yet with an irresistible grip. He tilted my face up slightly, directing my gaze toward him.
“How long do you plan to make me wait?”
His calm words followed. It felt as if the stone in my chest had turned to lead. My breath caught, and my fists clenched involuntarily.
“……”
I couldn’t answer. What was I supposed to say here? Please wait forever? It would be convenient if I could say that. But it was impossible. I was this man’s wife, after all. Moreover, such a vague promise might snap the last thread of Liu Bang’s reason.
The legendary “Can’t I like you?” might actually come true right here.
But I can’t just say let’s do it tonight either…
My true self. That is, the real “me” was a thirty-year-old man. A perfectly healthy, heterosexual, military-service-completed guy. The aversion to mixing bodies with another man had not faded in the slightest. No, to be honest, “aversion” wasn’t even strong enough.
Fear… Yes, it’s at the level of terror.
The sensation of my body no longer being my own. Being touched by a man, accepting a man inside me… To me, it felt equivalent to losing myself. An existential fear that I would cease to be Choi Dae-ri and truly become Lü Zhi.
But I can’t keep running away forever…
The calculations in my head grew increasingly complicated. Liu Bang had kept his promise. He had endured for two whole months. For a man of this era, that was an unbelievable level of patience. Betraying that indefinitely could destroy his trust in me from the very foundation.
A situation with no easy exit, a true dilemma.
“My lord.”
In the end, I barely managed to add,
“Could you give me a little more time?”
“How much more?”
“……”
“A week? A month? A year?”
Liu Bang’s voice was calm as he asked again. Calm, yet somewhere in it lay desperation.
“I don’t want to lose you, Zhi. I don’t want to scare you either. But I have limits too.”
“I know.”
“If you know, then answer me.”
Liu Bang’s hand touched my cheek. A large, rough hand. The coarse palm, tempered by labor and battle, cupped my face.
“Do you hate me?”
“No.”
This, I could answer immediately. I didn’t hate him.
“Then, do you hate it when I touch you?”
“That’s…”
But this… I couldn’t answer right away. Did I hate it? Yes, I should hate it. I had to hate it. But the sensation I felt right now was not disgust. There was discomfort, but I didn’t want to avoid it. Rather, it felt somewhat reassuring.
In that instant, memories of the past two months flashed through my mind like a panorama. The way he had never once forced me in those two months. The way he never showed displeasure even when I rejected his touch. The way he showed genuine interest in everything I said. The way he had broken coins like a child with chopsticks. The way he had massaged my shoulders and said I had worked hard…
The memories stored in my mind as “happiness” flowed past.
What on earth…
Suddenly, something deep in my chest sank with a heavy thud. I didn’t know what it was, but clearly, something inside me had moved.
“Zhi.”
Liu Bang’s voice continued.
“Tonight, I want to hold you.”
His low voice. My heart gave a heavy thump.
“But if you say you don’t want it, I won’t force you.”
“……”
“So… answer me honestly.”
Liu Bang’s dark eyes stared straight at me. The eyes of a man who had made his decision. Yet also the eyes of a man who couldn’t quite hide his fear of rejection.
“Don’t you want to become my wife in truth?”
In those eyes right now, my own wavering face was reflected.