The Words He Should Never Have Spoken
It was dark.
Only an unpleasant light pricked faintly at his eyes.
With his throbbing head he pondered for a moment what this disagreeable sensation might be, until at last he realized he had simply been keeping his eyes closed.
Had he drifted off without noticing? Holding her in his arms beneath a tree stirred by a gentle breeze, had he simply let his eyes fall shut?
"Sss..."
Feeling the dampness that had gathered at the corner of his mouth, he was just about to rise when—
"Stay lying down a little longer, Evan. We still have a ways to go before we arrive."
It was her voice. Thea looked down at him, her fingers laced over the right hand resting on his chest, and with her free hand she gently pressed his forehead, settling him once more upon her lap.
"No... my head is rather... foggy. How long have I been lying here?"
Perhaps too much blood had rushed to his head. As he tried to sit up, supporting that heavy, swaying brow, she offered her hand this time and helped him straighten his posture.
"It hasn't been that long. Are you feeling that poorly?"
Sunlight still filtered through the horizontal slit window cut into the iron plate. That meant not even a full day had passed.
"I'm a little dizzy. But I'll be fine. This much..."
"Let me take a look."
Even honesty, it seemed, led to the same place. At once his chin was seized and turned; she stared intently into his eyes and began her examination. She laid the back of her hand against his forehead, checked the pulse at his wrist and throat—
"Whoa?!"
—then suddenly pressed her head against his chest, turned slightly, and brought her ear close.
"All right. Take a deep breath for me?"
Her fragrant scent bloomed right beneath him. Soft hair wrapped around his arm; her pliant, warm body slipped into his embrace. With both hands resting on his shoulder and beneath his ribs, eyes gently closed, she gave him a light, urging tap.
"Hurry. Breathe in deeply through your nose—"
But how was he supposed to breathe? After setting his heart racing like this, drawing air in now would only fill his entire body with her thick peach fragrance. The faint tickle of her tapping against his ribs kept traveling toward his heart, tormenting him. Cooperating with an examination under such pressure felt nearly impossible.
"Quickly, Evan. I only want to check."
Startled by the firmer tap of her palm against his shoulder, he sucked in a hasty breath.
"Now you have to exhale, don't you?"
Intoxicated by the sweet, subtle fruit scent that filled him as expected, he slowly let the air out.
"You just seem very tired, Evan. A little more thorough rest from now on and you should be fine."
Even something as simple as breathing in and out left his flesh trembling. It felt almost as though he had done something wrong.
And yet—
"But why is your heart beating so terribly fast, Evan...?"
Ah. That mischievous look. Eyes slightly raised, she chuckled as her face drew nearer.
"Come on, tell me. Hmm? It's only a simple examination—why has your face gone so red?"
Why did he feel a little lift of excitement himself, as if they had truly returned to the old days?
"Don't hide your face. Chin up, all right?"
He had tried to bury himself in her hair to conceal his expression. That proved an even greater mistake. Her denser scent sapped every last bit of strength from him, and he was caught far too easily by her hand.
"Haa... Really. Yes. This is it. How could I live without this face?"
She pressed his cheeks, poked them with her fingertips, tugged playfully at the corners of his mouth. Matching her teasing, he wrapped his left hand around her back so she would not topple in the rattling carriage.
"Is your right hand very heavy?"
Clank—the chain rattled. Looking at his wrist dangling awkwardly in the wake of her left hand, her eyes held a trace of apology.
"Honestly, yes."
Had the unreserved answer stung her a little? She trembled faintly, then closed the distance with a bitter smile. Their noses touched; her eyes half-closed.
"When we get home, let's change it to cloth. I asked too much of someone with a weak body like yours—"
But just before their lips met, her body froze. Then, as if springing away, she flung open the carriage window and thrust her head outside.
"...What?"
Someone was out there. The arms were long, and no face showed beyond the window—so it was not human.
"Later. Not in front of Evan. Go home first; I'll give orders again then."
With that she shut the window at once. Her face was tightly crumpled.
"They keep interrupting like this...?"
Sitting beside him, eyes raised, she breathed roughly, unable to master her anger—then bit her nails with her teeth. Startled, he hurriedly reached out.
"Thea, if you put your nails to your mouth like that—"
Ah. Why had he never noticed? He had been holding her hand all this time. They had spent so many hours so close. Why had he failed to see how damaged her fingertips had become?
"Ah, it's nothing. Lately things have been a bit hard—"
He gripped more firmly the hand she tried to snatch away and hide. The habit had to be corrected before it took root. If she was anxious, he at least had to help her—before it grew worse, before she became more unstable still.
"Even so, this isn't all right, Thea. I'll do anything I can, so please stop this."
The once-pretty shape of her fingertips was swollen and ruined. The skin around them had risen; the small wounds suggested she had not tormented only her nails.
"Why didn't you say a word until it got this bad—"
At her stiff, silent stare he finally sighed and tried to meet her eyes. Worried that his scolding might have wounded her, he lifted his head—and somehow found himself looking into sparkling eyes.
"Re...ally? You'll do anything for me?"
And the part she had seized upon from his words was rather strange.
"Really, sincerely—you'll do anything?"
From the excited way she seized his shoulders and shook him again and again, a faint unease rose amid the puzzlement. It felt as though he had spoken something he should never have said. As if he had stumbled by chance upon the very thing she had long desired and, in a daze, handed it over—leaving behind a queasy aftertaste. Something he might have given more carefully, more splendidly, he had somehow... somehow strangely, with a lukewarm feeling... simply given away.
The moment they returned home she unlocked the chain from his wrist with the key she kept in her bosom. What she brought next was a collar. Different from the necklace she herself wore—not an ornamental piece, but a black band fitted with a dark round jewel, the sort of collar with a bell that dogs or cats wear. She moved to fasten it around his neck.
"What is this now..."
He could not refuse. He had no wish to spoil the mood of a woman humming under her breath, smiling so brightly, so thoroughly elated.
"One of the countless things I prepared for Evan. It will be far more comfortable than the chain."
"Count—wait, what did you say?"
At the same moment a purple aura bloomed from her hand, sending a brief chill through him; the light sank into the bead at his throat and began to glow faintly.
"Whenever I have to leave the house for a while, I will always put this on you. With this, Evan cannot leave this house."
...Hearing her speak such words with a bright smile no longer struck him as so shocking. Rather, he preferred her smiling like this. It looked far more... beautiful than the face that cornered him with fear.
"And it will be invisible to outside intruders as well."
But the words that followed at once carried something ominous.
"Intruders? Thea, what do you mean—"
"No, you need not worry about it. In any case, now... I will no longer simply sit back and take it the way I once did."
As if it were nothing, she continued while gripping that bizarre staff she had seen on their walk.
"I will not let you be hurt any longer. The two of us are going to live happily from now on, yet there are those who keep trying to ruin that... Tolfen—do you remember him?"
"I can't... forget him."
He could never forget the elf who had stabbed him through the back. The one who had kicked him, insulted him, and then taken his life—how could he ever erase that?
"Yes. Those kinds of people keep targeting me."
An edge entered her eyes; the corners of her mouth lifted in a shape he had never seen before—slyly.
"It's all right. Nothing to worry about. With a god who truly protects us at my side, what is there to fear?"
Those words seemed to hold many meanings. Even as she insulted the chief god they had once believed in, she sincerely believed in and followed a new one. Because he had died, and because he had been able to return to life, she had abandoned her dreams, her kin, and now... even her faith. She had abandoned them because she loved him. The weight of that meaning pressed heavily upon him.
"I'll be back soon, Evan. It shouldn't be anything major. At most a scratch on the barrier surrounding the village... or so? You need not worry too much."
She shrugged, opened the door, and made to leave the house. He lightly caught her. He felt he had to.
"Hmm?"
"Um, Thea."
He wanted to tell her not to go. If she truly had to, leave it to those giants—those non-human things, whatever they were—if they were creatures she could command, leave it to them, and stay beside him as the Thea he remembered.
But instead—
"If you don't wear gloves, your hands will get damaged."
He took the long black gloves that matched the clothes she wore—left on the table—and held them out to her.
"Are you worrying about me? Hehe... Really, I am a lucky woman. Truly..."
He watched her white hands darken right before his eyes. He could only watch as the staff leaning against the wall, radiating an ominous purple, was taken into that hand. Beyond that, there seemed nothing more he could do.
Satisfied, she clenched and unclenched her gloved fist, gripped the staff with familiar ease, then came to him and gave a light kiss.
"Thank you, Evan. I'll be back soon? When I return, I'll have you grant my wish."
Curved eyes and a sly smile. An expression that seemed to seize his heart with a tingling grip. That, too, was a face he had never seen before.