If You're Here, the World Is Beautiful
"Hey, Thea."
"H-huh?"
Inside the house she had clung to my side for so long she seemed to have no intention of ever letting go. Yet the moment we stepped outside, she couldn't enjoy this "outing" at all.
I had lost the woman who would lean against me in the breeze, share fruit with me, and smile. All that remained was someone who stared fixedly into the underbrush, who pricked only one ear at the rustle of wind, who kept darting her eyes about in unease.
No matter how hard I tried to overlay her with memories of our happy days together, the dark shadows under her eyes crushed my hopes with effortless mockery.
"Y-you called me, Evan. Right?"
"...Yes, I did."
"So it wasn't a hallucination, then... Right... Of course. It couldn't have been."
I gently drew her into my arms as she pressed a hand to her forehead and rubbed around her tired eyes.
"Rest a little. We came out for a walk, after all."
Even as she nestled obediently against me, her face kept turning outward. I wanted to turn her head back toward me, but the force of those bloodshot eyes glancing my way made me abandon the idea.
"Thank you."
Had my feelings finally reached her, then?
With her head resting on my shoulder, she began to stare blankly ahead.
The forest, bathed in sunlight and filled with birdsong, was clear and pure. Beyond the green stretched a sky painted in a pale, expansive blue. The white foam of clouds filling the space between, and the wind that blew through, peeled away the stifling weight that had wrapped around my body, layer by layer.
"It's a lovely clearing, isn't it?"
"...Anywhere I am with you sparkles, Evan."
In a voice that had softened somewhat, as she slowly began to take in the scenery, a faint light seemed to return to her eyes.
Those hazy eyes that had held only me gradually reclaimed the beautiful, glittering gold of before — the sight that made me fall in love with her all over again.
Brushing wind-tousled hair from her face with her hand, closing her eyes to feel the touch of the breeze, drawing a calm breath and wearing that faint smile.
This was the Thea I had fallen for.
The elf I loved seemed to be slowly recovering her strength.
"Heheh, hahaha, ah..."
She laughed. She smiled. Bringing a hand naturally to her mouth, baring her teeth, she rejoiced.
"It's not as bad as you thought, is it?"
I thought it was the result of accepting nature once more. That she had simply been so buried in grief she had pushed away everything in the world, and that with me beside her, she could still find a little peace, bit by bit.
"Not just 'not bad' — it's the best, Evan. ...I never knew the air could taste this sweet just from you being here."
Gazing at me with eyes full of rapture, wrapping her arms around herself in ecstasy, her mouth wide open as she spoke.
"Because I came out with you today, the sky looks this bright, Evan. It was always dark. The world was always full of shadows. In that gray, gloomy world, I never knew trees and grass could hold such a bright green!"
Clink — the chained hand seized mine.
With her severed left ear exposed, she leaned into me as if lunging, and I hurriedly opened my arms to catch her — only to be buried under her fluffy hair and soft embrace.
Laid out upon a plush green bed of grass.
"Everything is so vivid, Evan. Being held in your warm arms under this cool breeze... it really feels like a dream...!"
Until I died, at least, I still had the strength to lift and hold her.
Her sharp nose settled against the nape of my neck.
"Hnnn..."
Drawing in a deep breath, a soft gasp escaped from her as she clutched my back.
"Sweet, warm, Evan. It's sweet and warm! This thick scent, haaah... And do you know what else I can feel? This smell of grass, the flower fragrance riding on the wind — I can feel them. It's true, I really can!"
Her voice, filled with emotion, was not the gloomy, depressed, sharp, heavy thing it had been — it was the playful Thea I had known.
And yet she had changed so much.
"So clearly, so distinctly, h-hnnn—"
As if she couldn't believe it, her fierce thrashing against me kept grinding my back into the dirt and grass, and the clothes I wore were being stretched and torn to shreds.
"Calm down, Thea. I'm not going anywhere... Wait, whoa—"
"Pwah, I can't calm down. How could I? If I could only let you know even a quarter of what I'm feeling...! Can't you smell this fresh, soft fragrance?"
As she continued to make a complete mess of my neck, I could at least set my mind at ease.
At least I could confirm that a smile was blooming on her face.
If I kept staying by her side, someday I'd be able to face her with a brighter smile, without any chains between us.
"He's fallen asleep. Honestly, when his body is still in such poor condition..."
Of course — the chains are too much for him.
He'd frowned lightly several times while moving his right hand.
...Then it should be a cord, shouldn't it?
Or fabric, perhaps?
That would be far better.
Soft and light, so it wouldn't strain his wrist. It would be pretty, too. Unlike these crude chains or ropes, I could add patterns and decorations.
How could I have ever thought of fastening something so ugly, so loud, so heavy to his wrist...
No, no.
When I think of what will befall him and me...
Still, he mustn't be hurt. There must never be a time when he is wounded because of me.
No — but what if others use that as an excuse to separate us again?
...I don't know. But not these chains, at least.
Sturdy fabric would be best after all.
What kind of fabric would be good? White, like his pure white aura? Or... that pale yellow fabric from the big house in the village. It's similar to the color of my hair, so it would surely suit him.
Softly, softly, Evan who fell asleep still gripping my hand so tightly.
Defenseless, and so pitiful.
My love who lived looking only at the bright side of the world, and was stabbed to death by that terrible darkness.
That is why he is all the more precious. The only being who can teach me that there are still things that sparkle in this world.
I don't think I felt anything at all during the half-year he was gone. Otherwise, how could I have forgotten this scent of the forest that I'd known all my life?
It really has to be Evan. The only person who can love only me, who can affirm me.
Honestly, when I misspoke earlier, I thought something terrible would happen. How my heart raced, fretting that he might not like the outing... And yet he showed me this wonderful sight instead.
That's right, Evan. The sky really is beautiful. Under the blue sky the sunlight is so full, and the forest's energy still feels refreshing.
But still, you know?
Did you know that trash like this was hiding in the shadows, watching you?
"You mustn't look... You mustn't look..."
That my former kin — these vermin who still live under the same forest, receiving the same treatment as the one who killed you — that they would come looking for you now, of all times, is already proof that this world is wrong.
"Please, spare me. I came under the god's orders to see Thea and Evan... I have a message... Once I deliver it, I'll leave!"
Thinking of how cleanly, how silently I killed those well-trained forest scouts, I'm glad I made the Sentinels.
You always need people to clear away the filth of this disgusting world, don't you? In the world he'll show me, things like this aren't needed.
"Hello, is anyone listening? Is there no one there?"
Ah, really. He mustn't wake up.
"Gag them and put them in the underground dungeon."
"Th-that voice— mmph?!"
I only showed him one, but there are actually two more, so it shouldn't be a problem.
I hope there won't be issues like this when we head back.
...I should make more Sentinels.
If I'm going to go on outings with him, if I want him to look at me and live happily without a single worry, I need to clean things up a bit more.
But before that, I need to fill myself with more of Evan.
Already everything is growing dark again. The sky, the forest, the underbrush — all look gloomy. I simply cannot find those beauties he spoke of on my own.
Strange. Weird.
But I like it.
He said his body would fully recover in just a few more days, and when that time comes...
A voice I've grown familiar with now.
As the yellow eye in the center of the Sentinel's face turned purple and it approached me, I planted my staff and knelt — and at the command that rang out all the clearer, I couldn't help a slight surge of discontent.
But always, every happy thing that happens between him and me must have its price paid — this unfairness.
Simply because I am a long-lived race and he is short-lived, because I am an elf and he is human, so many things we have no choice but to do.
Still, if we can continue like this...
A Hybrid, of all things.
How can you call the lovely child that will be born of our precious love something like that? Even if you are the god who revived him, who gives me this chance — to speak of it that way...
"It's our child. Not some bizarre 'Hybrid.' A Hybrid is that... grotesque thing you ordered me to create by mixing a Sentinel's body with a horse's. Could you speak a little more gently of the child that will be born of Evan and me?"
The ringing voice. And a soft, chuckling laugh that followed, sounding almost pleased.
...I've already drawn up the plan in my head. All that remains is to carry it out.
But putting it off a little is fine.
This, at least, is urgent. Because there is something I must do with the man who loved me.
After four years together — and with the body of a short-lived race, no less — he always looked at me with pure love alone. To harbor this feeling for him is not strange at all.