A Confession of Fear
Frey walked down the corridor of the Academy Annex Hospital. Perhaps because of the disaster that had unfolded at the Cherry Blossom Festival, the hospital was filled with a constant, frantic air of urgency.
Despite their best efforts, the incident had left a significant number of casualties and injuries in its wake. Normally, before a Rift in Space opened, Cheonmyeongdae would predict it and prepare in advance. However, there were rare occasions, like this one, when an unpredictable Rift in Space manifested. Whenever that happened, the damage was catastrophic. If the initial response failed, the fallout quickly spiraled out of control. This incident was a prime example. Because the citizens hadn't been evacuated beforehand, they were slaughtered helplessly by the monsters. Had it not been for the students, including herself, on the scene, the casualties would have been far worse.
Frey ran through the list of students who had been at the scene. Coincidentally, they were all from Class 1-A—classmates she was familiar with. Arin had escaped major injury and only needed basic treatment, while Anastasia, being a clone, hadn't been hurt in the first place. Yujin was hospitalized yet again. Leo was wrapped so tightly in bandages from head to toe that she had initially thought he was dead. She heard he had fought a high-ranking monster. It's a miracle he survived, she thought. But none of that really mattered. There was someone else entirely on Frey's mind.
"..."
Frey stopped in front of the hospital room at the very end of the hallway. It was the room where Lucia was admitted. Taking a moment to steady her breathing, Frey closed her eyes.
"Frey, are you sure you'll be okay on your own?"
'Yeah, no problem.'
Frey answered resolutely to Aris's worried question. The reason she had sought out Lucia's room was to apologize for her past transgressions. She had lacked the courage before, hiding deep within their shared consciousness, but this incident had spurred her to finally face it.
"Then I'll stay deep inside. Hehe, don't be too nervous. Lucia doesn't hold a grudge against you, Frey. If you apologize from the bottom of your heart, I'm sure she'll forgive you."
Frey had made one request: to let her meet Lucia completely alone. Though puzzled by the request, Aris had readily agreed. It was because she trusted Frey. Even if she had made a mistake once, Frey was still Frey—the other self whom Aris trusted and relied on more than anyone. If Frey asked for this, she surely had a good reason.
"Good luck, Frey!"
'Don't worry.'
Once she felt Aris sink deep into their inner consciousness, Frey let out a long sigh. Now, Aris would have no idea what was happening on the outside. Having fallen into a deep slumber, she wouldn't wake up for a while. Left truly alone, Frey stared at the hospital door and clenched her small fists.
'Doesn't hold a grudge against me... huh.'
Yes, perhaps that was true. Lucia was foolishly kind, after all. If she apologized, Lucia would undoubtedly accept it. Frey was certain of that. But not hating someone and not fearing them were two entirely different matters. Frey was well aware of what she had done to Lucia. She would have no right to complain even if Lucia feared her and kept her distance.
When they had acted together earlier that day, Lucia hadn't shown any signs of avoiding or fearing her. Was it because she truly didn't mind? Or was it simply because the situation had been too urgent for her to let it show? Frey wanted to find out which was the truth. That was why she had asked Aris to let her be alone. If it was the former, that would be a relief. But if the latter was true and Lucia was terrified of her... she didn't want Aris to witness that.
"..."
No, of course it had to be the latter. After what she had done. After inflicting that much pain. Even now, the sensations of that day, that moment, remained vivid in her mind. As the victim, Lucia would find it even harder to forget.
Lucia was a good person. Frey had once suspected her of merely playing nice, like a wicked stepmother pretending to be kind, but Lucia had proven her goodness through her actions. A person who willingly sacrificed themselves for others could never be a hypocrite. If Lucia was just pretending to be fine—if she was masking her fear out of consideration for her and Aris—Frey intended to rip that mask away.
"What, sleeping already?"
Frey flung the door open without knocking. It was a rude gesture, but she didn't care. In fact, it was entirely intentional.
"Aris? I thought you went back to the dorms."
The inside of the hospital room was quite dark. The lights were off, and the curtains blocked out the glow of the setting sun. Lucia looked half-asleep, having seemingly gone to bed early after a grueling day.
"I did. I washed up and came back. I was sweating so much it felt gross."
"Ah... It's you, Frey."
"Disappointed it's me?"
"Hehe, no. I really like you too, Frey."
"...Is that so? You really are strange."
Standing still by the door, Frey stared at Lucia. She had heard that the injury to Lucia's heart had been completely healed by her Super Regeneration. Her hospitalization was merely for a detailed examination to ensure her heart had regenerated perfectly. Given her ability, there was bound to be no issue.
Click.
Frey locked the door. Now, no one could enter the room unless they had a key or broke the door down.
"Um, Frey. Where's Aris?"
"She's inside me. We swapped for a bit."
Lucia seemed to have heard the sound of the door locking. She looked at Frey with a puzzled expression. The thought of breaking that innocent, pure face made Frey feel a slight thrill of amusement. No, she was just tired. Yes, tired. That was all. She had no other intentions.
"I asked her to let us be alone together."
"Huh?"
"So Aris is asleep deep inside. She won't wake up unless she gets a shock like last time."
Stepping forward, Frey sank into the chair beside the bed. The sleepiness gradually faded from Lucia's face. For some reason, Frey felt a laugh bubbling up. Twisting her lips to suppress it, she spoke in as steady a voice as possible.
"Which means there's only you and me here."
The good girl went to sleep early. There's only the bad girl left. She mouthed the last words silently, without letting her vocal cords vibrate. Lucia seemed to understand. Her eyes widened, and the slight tremor in her eyelids was rather cute.
"We couldn't talk properly earlier because of all the chaos, right?"
"Well, yeah..."
Lucia trailed off hesitantly, as if her thoughts couldn't keep pace with the situation. Then, swallowing hard, she spoke in a slightly trembling voice.
"...Frey? Is there something you want to say to me?"
"Yeah."
"Um, why did you lock the door?"
"Because I don't want anyone else to see. And I don't want to be interrupted."
Lucia blinked her hazy eyes. What thoughts were racing through her head? Frey was curious, but she decided to wait patiently.
"..."
Lucia pulled the blanket tight against her chest, shrinking back. It seemed like an unconscious gesture rather than a deliberate one. For some reason, Frey's lips twitched with amusement. Even though the room was dark, she had no trouble reading Lucia's face. Did the girl even realize what kind of expression she was making right now?
"Doesn't this feel familiar?"
"W-what does?"
"Aris is asleep, it's quiet all around, and it's just the two of us."
"...I guess so?"
There was no need to probe any further. Lucia's actions laid her true feelings bare. Ah, so that's how it is. Deep down, you really are terrified. Then again, it would be stranger if she weren't. Frey clenched and unclenched her hands. Looking at Lucia's trembling pupils, she was reminded of the sensation of wrapping these very hands around her throat.
Just a little more. She had been so close. She could have snapped that slender neck. Should I do it now? Aris was asleep. There was no one to stop her. This time, she could break her completely. If she resisted, it would be a hassle, so she would crush her limbs first. Then, she would grab Lucia's twitching neck and... snap it.
'Wait... what am I thinking? Am I out of my mind?'
Was she planning to break her promise to Aris? She had come here to apologize to Lucia, not to destroy their relationship. If she actually did something here, Aris would hate her forever. And Lucia might truly despise her. Was that what she wanted?
She felt pathetic. Frey swallowed the sigh that rose to her throat. They say a habit formed late is the hardest to break. Having tasted that pleasure once, she couldn't stop thinking about it. It felt like she had eaten a forbidden fruit. With such a tempting treat dangling right in front of her, the urge to reach out was almost unbearable. Was she some cat in heat?
'Endure it. You've done well so far. You can keep doing it.'
She had long been aware of her own violent nature. A filthy, dark urge that must never be shown to the outside world. A vulgar desire completely unbefitting of Aris.
'I will apologize. I can't break Aris's trust.'
But before that... surely it was fine to enjoy herself just a little? She wouldn't lay a single finger on Lucia. Just... savoring the look of terror on Lucia's face for a brief moment. Surely that much was fine?
"Are you scared of me?"
Frey asked abruptly. Honestly, there was no need to ask. She could tell just by looking at her trembling form. It certainly wasn't out of joy from being alone together.
"What do you mean all of a sudden? There's no way I'd be scared of you, Frey."
"Then why are you shaking?"
"That's..."
Lucia hesitated, her eyes darting around before she scratched her cheek and answered.
"Because I'm tired... Yeah, I'm just tired. Today was really exhausting, you know?"
"Is that so?"
She certainly must be tired. Frey nodded. After all, Lucia had been trying to sleep before she arrived. Considering the injuries she had sustained today, she probably had no stamina left. She had likely exhausted her supernatural ability to recover, so her mental fatigue would be immense. Still, shaking like a leaf didn't make for a very convincing excuse. Who trembles like that just from being tired?
'Cute.'
Not as cute as Aris, but just half a step below her. A little chirping chick. A cute little chick.
Frey stood up from her chair and leaned over Lucia. She reached out and poked Lucia's cheek. Lucia let out a silent shriek and squeezed her eyes shut.
"Liar."
She had tried not to laugh, but Frey ultimately couldn't hold back a smirk.
"You're terrified."
"Ugh..."
"Are you scared of me?"
"N-no..."
Shivering pitifully, Lucia looked like a helpless, terrified girl to anyone who saw her. She had spoken so calmly back at the park. Had she just been acting fine then? Or had her desire to save people far outweighed her fear, allowing her to overcome it? Knowing Lucia, Frey figured it was closer to the latter. She was a girl of immense resolve—someone who would throw herself onto a black knight's longsword to win, to protect.
"I'm... not scared..."
"If you're not scared, why are you avoiding my eyes?"
Thinking about it, it was a bit strange. This was the same Lucia who had endured pain and terror to charge at monsters far stronger than herself. So why was she this frightened right now?
"Lucia, look at me."
"Frey, um, well..."
"Didn't you hear me?"
Frey resisted the urge to grab Lucia's cheeks and force her to look at her. That would be too overbearing. She had to stop at merely setting the mood. Any further, and things would cross a point of no return.
"Lucia, tell me honestly. Are you scared of me?"
"No. I like you, Frey. I'm not scared. It's just..."
"Just?"
"T-the situation... is similar to back then... so, somehow..."
"Yeah, thanks for telling me."
So that was it. Frey could finally understand. A strange sense of satisfaction washed over her as the puzzle pieces clicked into place. In a word: trauma. The incident that day had indeed left Lucia traumatized. Now that the perpetrator was recreating a similar environment, her psychological anxiety had triggered her fear. I am the object of Lucia's terror. That fact was thrilling, yet somehow bitter at the same time. Frey felt a bit confused by these conflicting emotions. The sight of Lucia paralyzed with fear was as sweet as sugar melting on her tongue, but beneath it lay an undeniable bitterness.
'...This is enough.'
She had enjoyed herself enough. It was time to stop. She had stripped away the mask and seen the raw truth. Now that she knew Lucia's real feelings, it was time to carry out the true purpose of her visit.
"I have something to say."
"U-uh-huh..."
She had already planned out what to say and how to apologize. All she had to do was utter the words she had prepared. It wasn't hard. Just a simple, honest "I'm sorry." Yes, she should say it quickly. Aris was deeply worried about Lucia too, so after apologizing, she would wake Aris up and let them meet. Yes, just say it. There was no reason to hesitate. Apologizing wasn't that difficult. So, uh, the apology, well, it was—
'Huh?'
Why was this happening all of a sudden? Her lips wouldn't part. Why was her heart pounding so hard? It actually hurt, as if she had just run a full sprint. What was wrong with her? Her voice wouldn't come out. She only wanted to say two simple words: "I'm sorry." Yet, for some reason, her throat felt completely blocked. Frey couldn't understand it. It was so sudden that she couldn't make sense of it. Had she fallen ill? She had been perfectly fine just a few seconds ago.
Her eyes met Lucia's. As if struck by lightning, Frey almost instinctively recoiled.
'...Am I scared?'
Scared of apologizing? Ha, why? Because she thought Lucia wouldn't accept it? No way. Lucia was the type of girl who would smile and accept an apology even if she delivered it half-heartedly. So why was she afraid? There was absolutely no reason to be.
'What if she doesn't accept it?'
No. Lucia wouldn't reject her. She had watched her constantly through Aris's eyes. She knew. She had realized just how incredibly good-natured Lucia was from watching her all this time.
'But what if she still doesn't accept it? What if she refuses? What if she hates me?'
Frey's lips twitched as if they had been sewn shut with needle and thread. No words came out. It was becoming difficult to even look Lucia in the eye. It was bizarre. Lucia was supposed to be the one gripped by fear, yet was fear contagious like a disease?
'Why was I so sure she would accept my apology?'
After doing those things to her, how could she be so shameless? Where did that confidence even come from? She had slapped her. She had pulled out her teeth. She had choked her. So why had she assumed she would be forgiven? Because Lucia was nice? Because this girl was a pushover who was nice to a fault? Because she thought Lucia would accept whatever wrong she did? But looking at how terrified she was, would an apology really suffice? Just because someone was a good person didn't mean they would tolerate and accept everything. Even if she did accept the apology, she might only be doing so out of fear.
"Lucia."
Barely—truly barely—she managed to call her name. Looking Lucia in the eye was becoming painful. She wanted to look down, but she knew that if she did, she would run away without saying a word. So, she forced herself forward.
"Frey...?"
Lucia's face drew close. Since they weren't that far apart to begin with, the distance closed in an instant until they could feel each other's breath. The clear pink eyes vanished as Lucia squeezed them shut. Frey wanted to close her eyes too, but she forced them wide open. Leaning in close to Lucia's ear, her lips parted slightly. She had to say it. She had to apologize for her wrongs.
"I'm sorry."
At last, she managed to squeeze out those words.