Chapter 39
Chapter 39
Saint, You’re So Vulgar! – Chapter 39
Versia bit her lip.
It was because of the conflicting emotions that surfaced the moment that question reached her.
She was angry at Asher for not bending to her will, yet at the same time, relieved that he wouldn't.
She couldn't even understand the mechanism behind it herself.
But she realized one thing: he was a far brighter soul than she had ever imagined.
His light was so dazzling it stirred a sense of defeat in her.
It was ironic.
That very light had made her fall for him, yet it was also the greatest barrier standing in their way.
Versia knew she and he differed in so many ways.
And now, she understood the biggest difference of all.
Her love was possessiveness.
It meant trapping the other person entirely in her embrace, ensuring they could never break free.
But Asher's love was a sense of responsibility.
A heart that would embrace the other, even if it meant taking the wounds himself.
Versia would have been fine plummeting into the abyss with him.
But Asher never would.
He would drag the other into the light, even if it consumed him entirely.
Yes, just like back then.
Even though he hadn't intended anything himself, when heaven's schemes tore a hole through him and he lay dying.
Even in that utterly unjust moment, collapsing with a smile because the person before him was safe.
'That's what I hate.'
But he would never understand.
A man who cherished duty and sacrifice above allif danger came knocking again, he would place the other above every vow.
Her throat burned.
His smile, so purely radiant, was churning her insides.
Why was this happening? She'd always believed she could seize him, manipulate him at will. Yet now she feared it might be impossible.
His light was too bright, too warmsomeday, he might slip from her grasp entirely.
What happens when you stare at the sun?
What happens when you reach out to claim it?
Perhaps ruin awaited.
Versia contemplated such a thing for the first time.
Yet she couldn't bear to pull away, lost in turmoil.
Grip
Asher tightened his grip on her hand.
He smiled benevolently, as if to soothe her.
Ah, so this is what spite feels like.
Even now, she wanted to shatter him, dye him in her colorsbut what came after terrified her.
If the outcome wasn't what she desired, she lacked the confidence to overcome him.
So Versia's answer was to hold off.
Any choice now would breed regret.
"...I'll think about it."
The elation she'd felt all along sank for the first time.
She could only hope he wouldn't drift away.
Hope he would stay close by her side.
"Ah, thank you!"
Hope that smile was forever meant for her.
Thump
Her heartbeat carried a faint unease.
* * *
Asher woke early that morning.
Ever since entering Versia's body, he'd battled morning drowsiness, and today it seemed he'd finally wonDalin didn't have to rouse him from a messy slumber.
Proud of it for some reason, he found himself humming.
The tune didn't stop as he fluffed out the blankets, straightened them, and went to wash up.
He changed clothes and sat before the mirror, brushing his hair.
The soft slide of strands through the comb felt nice.
Of course, it paled next to when someone else did itleft a vague emptinessbut he refused to acknowledge it.
That's when Dalin appeared.
"Saintess! You... got up...?"
Dalin's wide-eyed look doubled Asher's smug satisfaction.
"Yeah, good morning."
His grin and sparkling eyes looked utterly refreshed.
Dalin blinked, then belatedly snatched the comb from his hand.
"I, I'll do it! If I'd known you'd wake this early, I'd have come sooner...!"
"It's fine! Now I can get up and ready myself!"
He meant it sincerely.
Since the last dispatch, Asher no longer struggled with washing alone.
He still shied away from seeing his naked form out of embarrassment, but it no longer hindered him much.
A broad smile spread across his lips.
Dalin's expression turned a touch forlorn.
"You don't... need me anymore...?"
"Eek? No!"
Had he hurt her feelings? He shook his head frantically until her mood steadied.
Asher sighed inwardly in relief.
Then he handed his tousled hair over to her.
As expected, Dalin's touch was far superiorthe soft glide of hair through the comb was pure bliss.
Growing drowsy, his eyes half-lidded, and Dalin poked him with a chuckle.
"So, what brought this on? Waking so early?"
"Uh...? Ah... well, having someone attend my bath every time feels a bit much..."
"Hmm..."
Mischief glinted in Dalin's eyes.
Asher had no idea how rumors of him and Versia were swirling through the church.
Or how his showing up at the barracks on joint training day was being interpreted.
It was a shallow, biased guess, but Dalin figured:
The reason he wouldn't let her handle his baths anymorewas there something he couldn't let her see?
Like, something intimate between a man and a woman, traces he needed to hide.
Dalin's gaze flicked to Asher's neck, wrapped tight.
Nothing visible.
Which only fueled her imagination.
Oblivious to the misunderstanding, Asher entrusted his hair to her with a languid expression.
And so the day began.
Time to link up with Versia.
"Good morning."
"Yes, did you sleep well, Saintess?"
"Eh, so-so."
She said as much, but her pallor told the real story.
Versia didn't look rested at all.
Troubled, perhapsfaint shadows under her eyes.
Asher gave a wry smile.
Probably yesterday's talk.
He steeled himself.
'No matter what I say, I can't put the Saintess at ease.'
Humans were animals with intensely strong feedback to negative experiences.
Asher knew those wounds all too well.
After all, he himself couldn't forget events from over a decade ago.
So that moment he fell to the artificial witch's toxin must be an indelible sorrow for her.
How could he reassure Versia?
He pondered, but only one path lay open right now.
'Just convey my true heart.'
Asher beamed radiantly.
He knew a genuine smile could save the world.
Because such a smile had once saved him from utter collapse.
Asher still remembered Versia reaching out her hand, wiping away his tears.
Now he knew she wasn't the person she'd imaginedbut that was no reason for disappointment.
As he'd told her before, even hypocrisy could be a virtue.
It embodied the simple truth: "Salvation comes from deeds, not words."
"Shall we head out? The weather's perfect!"
"...Yesterday."
"I'm sorry!"
Versia's eyes flew wide.
Meeting his gaze, Asher bowed his head.
"I was too careless. I'll be even more mindful of how much you worry for me. So you won't have to again!"
He didn't expect that sentiment to land all at once.
No, he'd prove it slowly, surelythrough actions.
What was the first step?
Asher arrived at his answer after some thought.
"Saintess! Let's go strength training!"
"?"
"Like you said, this body's too frail! Ah, not that you called me worthless...! Just not cut out for battle! If I can't even run without gasping, how could I escape a pinch?!"
Sparkles danced in his eyes.
Versia looked flustered.
"What're you...?"
"Come on! I'll wipe away your worries for good! Just trust me and follow!"
With that, he grabbed her handtak!
Versia's gaze wavered.
A bitter smile tugged at her lips.
"You just have to take the lead, don't you."
He knew she hated it.
Which was why Asher replied:
"Please watch!"
He'd show her.
That he wasn't so fragile, not someone worth fretting over.
With that, he dragged a protesting Versia outside.
They started running laps in the garden.
In the end, it went like this.
"Already panting? I can keep going."
"Wait, wa...!"
"You said you'd show me. Showing off how pathetic you are?"
"That's not'hek...! Hiek...!"
Versia's stamina was poor.
For a body that had never run a day in its life to keep pace with one honed for yearsit was brutally tough.
Asher looked on the verge of tears.
The silver lining? Versia let out a hollow laugh at the sight.
Should he be glad she'd smiled, or mortified at his gasping display?
"Th, this isn't what I'hek...!"
"Effort's cute, but... well."
"Ugh..."
Asher's eyes spun dizzily.
Then he flopped face-first onto the ground, twitching.
* * *
Days passed that way.
Asher threw himself into strength training daily; Versia watched with complex emotions flickering across her face.
At least the stiff atmosphere had thawed.
Though her attitude, her thoughtsunchanged.
"Just give up. Stay out of danger, hide behind me."
"Nooo...!"
She pressed him to quit.
It sounded like a joke, but... Asher sensed the truth beneath.
A glimpse of that gloom, that clinginess he sometimes caught from her.
All the more reason he couldn't yield.
It was on one such day.
"Pirates, you say...?"
"Yeah! Intel came inmight be a link between the island pirates and heretics! Looks big, so I'm heading out myself!"
The next dispatch was set.
The sea.