Chapter 38
Chapter 38
Saint, You’re So Vulgar! – Chapter 38
Versia had been enjoying some delightful days lately.
This was utterly unprecedented in her entire life.
And truthfully, looking back on her past, joy had always kept a wide berth from her.
More precisely, the very notion of pleasure had unilaterally avoided her.
It had always been that way.
A repetition of long gloom followed by brief respites.
It resembled the sensation of flailing in deep water.
If she had to compare it to something, it was like the whales she'd read about in books long ago.
Of course, the differences were clear.
For whales, diving and surfacing were effortless instincts, painless habits of their kind. But for Versia, they were shackles that only deepened her torment.
She'd even once thought she envied them.
That if she could become a whale, those shackles might no longer hurt.
It was just desperate melancholy conjuring up false kinship and longing in empty forms.
The point was, there had been times when she was backed into such a corner. But getting back to the main thread, Versia was gradually distancing herself from that melancholy these days.
The cause was obvious.
It was the girl standing behind the pillar, behind the priestesses, her face flushed as she glared at Versia with some stern thought in mind.
...No, since a young man dwelled within, perhaps she should define it that way.
"You've come to greet me."
Versia nodded at Saturn's words.
It felt like whatever had been clogging her throat had finally cleared.
"Yes, training's over, so I'll head out first."
"Mm, good work."
Saturn glanced around for a moment, then looked a bit crestfallen.
Her sharp hearing caught his mutter of, 'Weren't we getting close...?' but she let it slide.
What that baldhead was thinking didn't matter to her.
There was only one thing that mattered to her.
Asher was there. And she was needed by him.
That alone was the sole answer to her delight.
Versia stepped lightly up to Asher.
"You didn't have to come."
"...I had time, so... I came to greet you."
His averted eyes and mumbled reply were utterly endearing.
She wanted to pinch those reddened earlobes for no reason.
He was so transparently readable it was amusing; even scant clues revealed the reason for his behavior.
Versia knew that on her training days, the priestesses hid behind pillars, trading idle fantasies.
She knew it wounded Asher's pride, that bit about his manhood.
Pouting was his usual response. But today was different.
Now for a new clue.
To the world at large, she was the guard knight who had thrown himself to protect the Saintess, fallen into a coma, and awakened.
Among the gossip-loving sorts' wild imaginings, some had twisted it into romantic dalliance between man and woman.
Verification was simple.
"Your face is red."
"Pardon? Eek!"
The moment she placed a hand on his forehead.
From a short distance away came stifled squeals of kyaa! kyaak!
Now she knew exactly what he'd heard.
It was delightful.
Versia hoped Asher's kindness was especially reserved for her.
She admitted it to herself, and this phrasing implied it was more likely now than before.
Frozen stiff, spilling embarrassment, he evoked the image of the season's first snow piled pristine overnight.
Like untouched virgin groundno one had tread there yetand she impulsively wanted to leave her footprint.
Was this thirst abnormal?
She pondered briefly, then shook her head.
Versia knew she loved Asher.
It was something beyond mere romantic affection between man and woman.
A pure human yearning, as one individual for another.
No matter how she thought about it, this was just one universal form of that longing.
"A-anyway, let's go. Standing around here like idiots would be rude..."
Asher fanned himself with his hand.
He chewed his lip, struggling to banish the thought that had popped into his head.
Seeing him flustered sparked her mischief.
Versia smiled slyly and said,
"I'm all sweaty and sticky, but you're not even giving me time to wash up?"
"Ah, then go ahead fir"
"Shall we bathe together?"
"...!"
No one else could suit the phrase "hair standing on end" quite so perfectly.
His startled gaze soon turned to shame, and that shame morphed into an adorably petulant glare.
Versia smiled with her eyes and replied,
"Just kidding. I'll be right back."
Like every day lately, it wasn't a bad start.
* * *
Unlike Asher, Versia felt little resistance to her changed body.
In some ways, she even found greater comfort in this flesh.
The tireless stamina, the vitality coursing through her entire formit swept away needless lethargy.
Asher's words rang true: a healthy body housed a healthy mind.
Of course, the biggest reason was no longer having to be Versia de Astarionbut at this point, even that held no meaning.
No matter what they called her, as long as Asher was by her side, that was enough.
She could draw positivity from it.
She could shake off her solitude.
Even if the whole world became her enemy, that strange conviction told her he never would.
Of course, that alone wouldn't grant this level of peace.
Versia acknowledged that much.
Precisely when he'd awakened from his coma and said, 'Now let's do our best in our respective places,' she'd realized it.
'He doesn't like that uncertainty.'
God's plan or some scheme?
She didn't care about the reason, but this was undoubtedly the most ideal state for her now.
Asher reflected in the mirror beyond.
The body that defined him was in her grasp.
Not handsome so much as "delicate"an androgynous beauty, seemingly fragile at a glance but solidly muscled.
As long as she possessed this, Asher could never drift far.
He'd constantly eye this body with impatience, and in that process, gaze upon her within it.
Another perk: she could rein him in.
In this state, even kind-hearted Asher would grudgingly accept being confined like a flower in a greenhouse, if she cited some excuse.
She could hold his gaze captive.
Become uniquely special to him.
Get one, and you'd crave two.
Noten.
Versia finally realized she was that kind of person.
Her eyes darkened.
In the mirror, she saw her lips twist into a crooked line.
This might be what set them apart.
Just as Asher in her body wore expressions she never would, she too was making faces he never had.
Versia covered her mouth.
Thump, thump.
Her heart pounded heavily.
Amid the delight, viscous emotions began to well up.
She closed her eyes.
'No. I can't show him this face.'
The version of her he knew was just right.
If he got hurt, she'd starve herself in agony; sly and suspicious, yet never abandoning the greater good.
As long as she stayed within those lines, Asher would remain the same as ever.
Delivering the feelings and words she desired.
'It's not deceit.'
That side was truly part of her too.
She just didn't need to show everythingthat was all.
Thumpthump
Her heart grew heavier, slower.
The roof of her mouth went slightly dry.
She wet it with her tongue.
She soothed herself.
Versia repeated inwardly.
Take it slow, and make it certain.
'Like dye soaking in.'
Just as it had happened to her, Asher had to end up the same way.
Once she'd fully composed her expression, she changed into fresh clothes.
Then she left the barracks and headed to Asher.
A short while later, she found him at the tea table in the garden's center, clearing his throat awkwardly while staring at the sky.
Then he broke into a sheepish grin, as if he'd found an excuse to shake off his embarrassment.
She wished he'd squirm a bit more.
Then his mind would be filled with her all this time.
Banishing the thought, she spoke.
"I'm here."
"Ah, you've arrived!"
"You look cheerful."
"Pardon?"
"Did something good happen while I was away? I'd be jealous if so."
"N-no! I just thought the sky was so clear...!"
His flustered excuses were amusing.
Even with such teasing, he seemed genuinely worried.
Versia dragged a chair right beside him, propped her chin on her hand, and asked about the time apart.
"How was the tea party?"
Toss him a casual topic, and Asher would chatter excitedly.
Versia loved those moments.
The meeting's outcomes were beyond her interest.
At least, up to that point.
"I was just wanting to talk about that! The situation's pretty dire. We already had a 1st Class Knight fall... With no clue how many more artificial witches might appear, the next dispatch will likely be soon too!"
Versia's brows furrowed.
Misreading it as concern, Asher's eyes lit up as he continued.
"Last time was an accident from poor intel, but now we should plan ahead, right? So I've thought of something. It's about combat..."
Rightthe heretics' business wasn't over yet.
Facing that reality, something dark and murky seemed to rise within her.
The despair and remoteness from not long ago felt like it was refluxing up her throat.
"I'm sorry to ask this, but... could you teach me that prayer-adapted guard tactic? If Your Holiness would just lend a little effort, in case of emergency..."
An alarm blared in her head.
Without thinking, she considered locking him awayeven if it hurt his feelings.
She was certain no better way existed.
'Why?'
The question arose, and she answered reflexively.
'...Because I like him.'
Because she wanted to be together.
Focus solely on each other, without interruptions.
Only then did her heart ease.
Love was truly a magical justification.
Some part felt out of joint, but she ignored it.
Not everything could fit perfectly.
Just focus on what meshed.
Versia chided herself that way.
It was caring for Asher as much as herself.
The best way to protect him fully.
Versia worked her lips.
"But."
"Ah, yes!"
Their eyes met.
Versia flashed a bright smile.
Her eyes, however, did not.
"You're wrong from the start, assuming combat."
No need to pick some convoluted right answer.
"Knight, be honestright now, you're utterly useless. Even if you're preparing, what if you rush in and something like last time happens?"
Just undermine him a little.
Asher's body stiffened.
His smile faded bit by bit.
His trembling eyes showed he already acknowledged his own powerlessness.
"...You're right."
He gave an awkward laugh.
His lips parted, then closed.
She saw his fists clench tight.
It was going as planned.
She should be satisfied.
Yet something felt off.
Squeeze
Her insides twisted uncomfortably.
* * *
Asher felt like cold water had been dumped over his head.
Versia's point had precisely reminded him of his position.
But it didn't stir anger or the like.
The emotion that surfaced was oddly offbeat, yet brushed against what Versia had aimed for.
Guilt.
The way she froze at mention of the next dispatch.
Smiling, but her eyes not smiling.
Speaking so sharply on purpose.
Seeing her like that, Asher felt guilt.
He realized her precious regard for him was causing her fear.
So what could he do?
He pondered the answer and decided.
Right after, he spoke.
There was something Versia had overlooked.
"Saintess."
Asher Terbion was a good man.
One who cared for others, willing to throw himself for them.
One who could tear flesh from his own body for the pitiful.
But,
"Even in this powerless state, it's not like I can do nothing."
He wasn't the type to crumble from that.
"We can't run. We can't hide. That solves nothing."
If his knees buckled, he'd crawl forward anyway.
"You rightly pointed out my weakness. So, shameless as it is, may I make a request?"
He already had his own answer, a sturdy one unyielding to this setback.
"I'll avoid truly dangerous spots. Instead, let's think together about the best we can do as a team."
Asher didn't erode before guilt.
He didn't cower or agonize over it.
Instead, he chose to cradle his self-inflicted wound and find relief.
Asher extended his hand, clasping Versia's firmly.
Meeting her eyes straight on, he smiled purely.
"May I ask that of you?"
It differed from Versia's thinking.
Her understanding of responsibility fell short of Asher's.