Chapter 103
Chapter 103
Saint, You’re So Vulgar! – Chapter 103
Within the church, Asher didn't have all that many duties to attend to.
No, if you excluded anything related to the heretics' rampages, it was safe to say he had none at all.
Saintesses were honorary positions to begin with, aside from receiving oracles, so it was only natural.
That was about the extent of it.
"Won't you get tired sweating like that?"
"Ah, it is tiring, but it clears my head! Want to work out with me, Lubena?"
"No thanks."
Training to stay fit and prepare for emergencies. And some socializing with the other saintesses.
That was it.
As he practiced with his sword to shake off idle thoughts, Lubena showed up.
He ignored her and kept training as instructed, and she watched him curiously for a good while before asking that question.
She smiled refreshingly in response, and Lubena looked disgusted.
But that didn't last long. Right after, she asked in a worried tone, probing gently.
"Is it because of the curse? I've heard exercise can help relieve sexual tension."
"...It's not like that."
"Really? I figured you'd be panting and overheated all day."
"......"
Asher's expression soured.
What did she think the curse was, some lighthearted thing?
He knew she wasn't a bad person now, but he wished she'd cut back on the thoughtless slips.
Still, if that was just Lubena being Lubena, then so be it.
He wiped the sweat from his brow with a damp towel and sat down across from her.
Then he asked.
"So, what brings you here today?"
Lubena wasn't the type to drop by without reason.
She'd chat now and then out of boredom, but even then, she always had some business to discuss first.
He was sure today was no different, and he was right.
After he set the stage, Lubena pondered for a moment before leaning forward and mumbling.
"There's something I want to ask you."
"If it's something you want to ask..."
The answer didn't come right away.
Lubena hesitated, her face full of reluctance, and Asher waited patiently.
How much time passed like that? When she finally spoke, it was this.
"Lately, Baldy's not listening to me."
"?"
"It's disrespectful! He keeps trying to act all equal!"
Asher tilted his head.
Once Lubena got started, she unleashed a torrent of pent-up complaints like a machine gun.
"Everything he does annoys me! I specially let him eat at my table, but he eats in the barracks first! I offer to buy him clothes, and he refuses because he has to wear armor! I tell him to stick close since heretics could show up anytime, and he lags two or three steps behind!"
The more she spoke, the stranger Asher's expression grew.
Unaware or uncaring, Lubena grew more agitated, spilling it all out.
Her face was flushed red, her eyes glistening.
She was clearly hurt.
No doubt about it.
'This is...'
Wasn't it obvious?
"He should just do what I say! Why's he nitpicking everything and not listening?!"
Lubena slammed her fist on the tea tablethudthen yelped "Ow!" and rubbed her hand dramatically.
Asher couldn't even muster words of concern.
He let out a sigh.
He knew her brain was pure, but she didn't even realize her own feelings?
How was he supposed to put this?
He started brooding over it.
'Wait, is meddling in this even right?'
It was obvious, no matter how you looked at it. Relationship advice.
Why bring it to him, though? He didn't want to say something unnecessary and get dragged into the mess.
Still, he ventured one comment.
"Hmm, you want to treat him well, but he won't let you, so you're upset... right?"
It was the moment he asked.
"Ah, no! Why would I want to be nice to Baldy?!"
What was he supposed to do with this?
Women were so baffling.
At a loss for words, he smiled awkwardly, and Lubena grumbled under her breath before whipping her head around and speaking up.
"That's why I wanted to ask youhow'd you get close to your guard?"
He had to admire the intelligence that let her admit she wanted to get close while staying oblivious to it.
Anyway, he had to answer this one seriously.
Asher reflected on the past. How had they gotten close, exactly?
The first thing that came to mind was.
-Whoa, dick.
He shuddered.
Only then did Asher realize his relationship with Versia hadn't started so beautifully.
A bittersweet feeling washed over him, along with a lament of how it had come to this.
"Well? What'd you do?"
Lubena's eyes sparkled. That intense gaze was burdensome.
He tried averting his eyes, but she stared with startling focus, clearly desperate.
Asher broke into a cold sweat.
Her stare demanded an answer, and he racked his brain for how to explain, glancing up at the sky.
"Come on, don't be frustratingjust say something!"
He blurted it out defensively.
"Uh, jokes..."
"Jokes? What kind?"
"...Dirty jokes."
It was an undeniable fact that such jokes had bridged the psychological gap between them.
Honestly, if Versia stopped making them now, his first thought would be 'Is she feeling okay?'
That was the reaction her winter-long quips had earned.
"...You go around saying stuff like that normally?"
It felt so unfair and humiliating.
Versia was the one constantly sexually harassing him, yet it made him seem like the lewd one.
He was stunned that blame could shift so completely.
Next came a wave of contempt.
"You're not supposed to do that. What if he actually pins you down? Wouldn't that make you seem a bit too slutty... um, er...?"
Lubena started lecturing with a stern face, then blushed as some naughty fantasy clearly crossed her mind.
Her shaky gaze drifted into spaceanyone could see she was a girl in love.
She was really getting into her own little world.
The mood turned awkward.
Until they parted ways, they barely exchanged another word.
A strange silence hung over them.
* * *
"You're quite the knight, aren't you, Sir Knight?"
A little later, that was Versia's reaction after hearing the story.
She covered her mouth, giggling merrily.
The mischief in her eyes was no joke.
She was probably about to say something stern again.
"You liked the dirty jokes?"
There it was.
"It's not like that. Do you know how devastated I was? I thought we'd grown close for some profound reason, but realizing it was dirty jokes... nothing could be more lamentable. And it made me realize I've gotten too lax! No more dirty stuff from now on. Even as jokes, I'll correct your language habits properly, Saintess."
"Sex."
"Ack!"
"Dick, kiss, sleep..."
"Ah, stop!"
"Climax, implantation, pregnancy."
Bam! He slammed the desk and glared, but Versia just tilted her head.
"Isn't it a bit much to silence me? If you ignore it, I might get bored and worn out."
"You won't get bored! I know you could spout those all night and still be eager for more!"
"That's harsh. Though you're not wrong."
Did she have no intention of denying it?
His head throbbed at the thought of where to even start correcting her.
His sighs were piling up by the day.
Was this what it felt like raising a disobedient son?
Not a thought you'd have watching the church's saintess, but he couldn't shake the feeling.
Whether Versia sensed his inner turmoil or pretended not to, she changed the subject.
"Surprising, though. She fell that fast."
"What do you mean?"
"Lubena. I figured she'd take an interest, but not this quickly."
Asher was surprised at that part.
Versia shrugged it off like it was nothing.
"Girls like that fall easily. A little kindness, and they think it's the love of the century. You've saved her life a few times, and he's the strong, silent type, right? Sir Hyzenberg."
Right after, Versia smirked slyly.
"It'd be fun to watch her squirm."
"...You want that?"
"What else can a girl with nothing but her body do besides a full-body assault? Rubbing up slyly until she catches fire and begs for just one night..."
"...Stop, stop!"
"Once you give in that first time, it's over. Summon her every night to attend you in bed..."
"I'm really getting mad now?"
"Tch."
She smacked her lips and cut off.
Asher's face was already red as a persimmon from her words.
Versia probed slyly.
"We can't fall behind, can we?"
"Why do we need to compete?"
"What a shame."
Asher's vision went dark.