The Guild Master's 0% Probability Miscalculation

It hadn’t been long since the rumors about the fairy trying to score some beef took a sour turn. The kids started calling me a beast, then trash. No one would talk to me anymore, and I couldn’t figure out why. The only person who still spoke to me was Daisy. “You evil, vile, perverted bastard! What the hell did you do to Sorcia?!” she’d scream, trying to kill me every single time.

Sighing, I headed out to buy ingredients for dinner, only to realize something. “I still haven’t received the two million won yet, so I’m short on cash…” They said the administrative procedures would take two more days, but how was I supposed to survive until then? As I pondered that, my eyes landed on the cheap milk beside me. I’d planned to buy some since Hunya likes it, but the only affordable option on the shelf had [Chemically Synthesized Dairy Product] printed on it.

“They say monster contamination has ruined the farmlands and this is what everyone eats now, but still… this is a bit much.” I could eat it without caring what happened ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠to me, but there was no way I could feed something this risky to Hunya or Yu Daye. Giving up, I checked my wallet. Aaaargh, I’m completely broke! Right as I was panicking, a text message arrived.

It was from the guild leader of Ravius Online—the one who plays as RadiationChan—messaging me, the player known as MuscleLover. The game was basically dead, down to its final three hundred users. At this point, it wouldn’t be strange if the servers shut down tomorrow. Still, he was someone I’d played with since the very beginning.

The whole “let’s meet up” thing was obviously just an excuse. He’d promised that if I came out, he’d buy me meat. Not the mixed scraps from the school cafeteria or the fifty-percent-off assorted meats from the mart, and definitely not the cheap bean-based fake stuff. Real meat. The kind of premium beef that even upper-middle-class people rarely get to eat. The stuff that costs fifty thousand won per hundred grams. And he was offering to buy three hundred grams of it.

Any pride I had went straight into the gutter. I immediately replied that I was on my way. I was thrilled at the thought of finally treating Hunya and Yu Daye to beef soup after so long. But then, out of nowhere, the same sweet scent as the juice Sorcia always gave me swirled around my nose. Lately I’d been getting dizzy spells because of it. Shaking it off and telling myself I was fine, I made my way to the PC room where the guild leader was waiting.

It really has been a long time since I’ve been to a PC room. I used to drop by occasionally before Yu Daye and Hunya moved in, but those days were long gone. With that thought in mind, I stepped inside. My eyes met the yawning employee’s sleepy gaze, and his pupils suddenly dilated to an unnatural size. Why is he staring at me with eyes as wide as Hunya’s when she sees a snack?

The once-noisy PC room was growing strangely quiet. I could feel every gaze in the place locking onto me. Did I look that bad? Or had my terrible rumors already spread across all of Saetbyeol City? Anxious, I headed to the seat the guild leader had told me about. A young man in his early twenties was sitting there. Sharp eyes and a crisp suit—he looked like the textbook definition of a salaryman. Yet there he was, openly playing Ravius Online, a game packed with bishoujo characters. Most people wouldn’t dare play something like this in public. As expected from our thick-faced guild master, RadiationChan.

Beside him sat another man around the same age, grinning ear to ear. It was Mochi, one of our guild’s founding members. He was chatting cheerfully with RadiationChan when our eyes met. His pupils widened dramatically. He quickly tapped the guild leader’s shoulder and pointed straight at me. RadiationChan turned, and his glasses literally slid off his face.

“Um… you’re… Mochi and… RadiationChan, right?”

Both of them nodded.

“By any chance… you’re not MuscleLover, are you?”

They knew my ID and that it had “muscle” in it. Plus I was clearly a student. So why were they speaking to me so politely?

“That’s correct…”

For some reason my voice sounded strange. Probably just my imagination. Meeting people I’d only known online, especially adults older than me, was just awkward.

“Oh my god…” Mochi muttered.

“A girl… playing an otaku game full of nothing but bishoujo characters…?”

Mochi looked utterly stunned.

“Is there a problem with a girl playing that kind of game?”

Hunya was a girl and she played Ravius Online, so what was the issue?

“Based on my perfect judgment, the probability of a heteromorphic female playing the male-oriented game known as Ravius Online is effectively zero.”

When the guild leader said that, I answered, “Is there a problem with other races playing this game?”

Hunya was both a girl and from another race, and she played it without any issues. But the way they were talking, it felt like they were pointing at me, not Hunya.

Girl? Other race? Why were they saying those things about me? As I wondered, a beautiful voice that sounded like something from a dream reached my ears. The two people I remembered being roughly my height now looked strangely tall. For some reason my body felt lighter, yet I noticed an unfamiliar weight on my chest and something soft and fluffy brushing near my hips.

What is this?

I turned to look in the mirror.

A petite height of around 147 centimeters. Delicate skin that instinctively made people ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠want to protect it. A slender waist. Silver hair cascading all the way down to my waist. Heterochromatic eyes—one sapphire blue, the other ruby red. Pointed ears that clearly marked me as non-human. A silver tail that reached my thighs. An appearance more beautiful than any woman I had ever seen.

The young girl I had seen endlessly in my dreams. The bystander girl who had appeared in my novel. Primrose.

That girl… was me.

I didn’t know why. I didn’t know when. There wasn’t even a sensation of my body changing. So naturally, so seamlessly, I had become that girl.

Is this real?

The girl with the cheat-level beauty I had only ever seen in dreams had appeared in reality—and it was me. There was no way such nonsense could actually be happening. It had to be a dream. That’s what I told myself. But it wasn’t a dream.

It was the beginning of the absurd new reality that had just crashed into my life.

RadiationChan, guild master of Decent Folks in Ravius Online, looked at the Serena Union girl sitting beside him and broke into a cold sweat.

Ravius Online. A story-driven online RPG set in an apocalyptic world where beautiful girls with special powers fought against their enemies. The game’s primary revenue came from suggestive costumes, swimsuits and lingerie skins that danced right on the edge of decency—truly a game made exclusively for “gentlemen.” A game for men, and men only.

That was why I had always assumed the only support player in the guild I ran, MuscleLover, was a guy. He acted like one, too. So we all naturally thought he was male.

But… no. She wasn’t a man. She wasn’t even human. She was from another race.

Looking closer, her slender frame drew the eye first. Her chest, disproportionately large for her build, seemed to sway with every movement, shaking my reason. Silver-white hair flowing down to her waist. Left eye a clear sapphire, right eye a vivid ruby. Those heterochromatic eyes were as beautiful and mysterious as a lake you could never escape once you fell in.

Her appearance was so overwhelmingly perfect it left me speechless. As an investor, my perfect judgment placed her in the top one percent. No, the top 0.1 percent. No… ‘This is.’ The top 0.000000000000000000000000000000001 percent.

Such a flawless other-race girl was playing a perverted otaku game made for men.

According to my calculations, this is an event that can absolutely never happen. Probability zero percent.

At first I suspected she might be a scammer doing some new type of other-race cosplay. But then she sat down, launched the game, and logged in as our MuscleLover—the character I had believed was male until that very moment. She was playing exactly as usual. In a game famous for its brutal difficulty, she was displaying support skills that could easily be called top-class, maybe even number one overall.

While I sat there admiring her skill, I glanced sideways. No matter how many times I looked, the username MuscleLover was real. And her appearance was straight-up fraudulent.

The PC room that had been noisy just moments ago was now so quiet you could hear people swallowing. Looking around, every single man inside was staring at MuscleLover with enchanted eyes.

To captivate every man around her like that… I wondered if she might be from the succubus race among the Serena Union’s demon tribes. But succubi didn’t have such cute wolf-like tails. They seduced men and fed on their life force, yet MuscleLover showed no sign of such intentions. Instead, she gave off a fragile aura that made it seem like she would be the one devoured if left alone.

As I observed her, Mochi, who was sitting right next to me, spoke up through the chat.

I glared at the men behind us who were starting to pull out their phones ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠to take photos. They flinched and quickly put their devices away. I could block them for now, but it wouldn’t last long. It probably wasn’t good to stay here.

Thinking that, I looked at MuscleLover and said, “MuscleLover.”

She turned to me. A cute face and mysterious heterochromatic eyes met mine. Khk. According to my perfect judgment, if I kept looking at her my heart would either burst or I would immediately ask her out. To shake off that strange charm, I turned my gaze away, took a deep breath, and spoke again.

“Want to head outside?”

She nodded and answered in the cutest voice imaginable.

“Yess…”

It was as beautiful as an angel’s voice. Perfect face, perfect body, and now even her voice? This was truly a scam. An impossible zero-percent probability. There was no way a beautiful girl like this could exist in reality! There was no way a beautiful girl like this would play a perverted otaku game for degenerates! I felt like shouting it at the top of my lungs like the title of a light novel.