Chapter 82
Chapter 82
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Translator: penny
Chapter: 82
Chapter Title: Side Story - Memories of a Certain Princess (6)
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“Your Highness.”
“…….”
“Your Highness.”
“…….”
“Your Highness….”
“…….”
I kept my mouth firmly shut and didn’t look at Ast, who was calling out to me.
Yesterday, I had been thoroughly toyed with.
Ast, who always relied on strategy and tactics, had deceived me, and I fell for it, leading to defeat after defeat.
Charging in solely with the knight order? Even if he was looking down on me, could he underestimate me that much?
And three times, no less!
“Your Highness.”
Because of that, throughout yesterday’s match, I kept worrying that Ast might pull out that bizarre knight order charge tactic again.
But Ast never used it even once after that.
Thanks to him, Rea got all high and mighty, strutting around like she owned the place.
“Your Highness, Your Highness. Even if you lost a whopping twelve times yesterday, treating Sir Ast like that is too much.”
“That’s not true.”
“Come on, it is.”
Really, I never could have imagined Rea acting like this before Ast showed up.
Ast really is the problem.
“Sir Ast.”
“Yes, Your Highness.”
How could I twist that emotionless face of his?
How could I instill fear in Ast, who dared to challenge even me, a princess?
“What are you afraid of?”
“Are you asking what I’m afraid of?”
I nodded, and Ast fell into thought for a moment.
“Sir Ast, what about the Evil God? The evil deity that nearly destroyed the world!”
“I’m not really scared since I don’t know if it truly almost destroyed the world.”
“The tales of the Evil God are covered by every church order, Sir Ast. Talking like that could get you sanctioned by the church!”
“There’s no one from the church here, so what does it matter? As the saying goes, even His Imperial Majesty gets cursed where no one can see. Who’s going to hear if I badmouth a god in a blind spot?”
Was Ast really a commoner?
Commoners were supposed to revere and fear the emperor and the church orders.
Yet this guy was saying it didn’t matter if he badmouthed my father inside the imperial palace!
“They say the gods know everything in the world! They hear it all!”
Had Rea been influenced by Ast too?
Or was she just being her usual clueless self?
Did she even realize she’d basically said it was okay to badmouth my father, if not the gods?
“Then… Hmm… Hmmm~”
After agonizing over it, I widened my eyes and shouted at Ast.
“How about your family constantly pressuring you to get married? Saying you’ll end up an old bachelor if time keeps passing, or that you’ve already missed your chance!”
Oh, Rea… that’s…
“Is that so, Lady Rea?”
“Cough.”
Realizing her mistake, Rea clutched her nonexistent chest and collapsed.
In this case, should I say she clutched her heart?
“I see. So you’re being forced to marry nonstop.”
“Ah, Sir Ast.”
Under Ast’s calm gaze, Rea started scooting backward while still lying on the ground.
“You’re being called an old maid.”
“Stop, stop… please stop….”
Tears began welling up in her eyes.
But Ast delivered the finishing blow without mercy.
“You’ve passed your prime.”
“Waaah!”
Tears started falling in drops.
Ast gave a slight smile as Rea screamed and covered her ears.
“Ending up like Lady Rea is a bit scary.”
“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry!”
A swordmaster shedding tears over marriage issues.
This was probably the only place in the empire—no, the entire continent—where you could see something like this.
“It’s okay, Rea. If you really can’t get married, I’ll talk to His Imperial Majesty and make it happen by imperial decree.”
“Sob… Your Highness, you don’t need to go that far! Wait, does that mean my marriage is impossible without an imperial decree?!”
Rubbing her reddened eyes and pouting, Rea looked adorably like a rabbit.
‘Ah, that’s not it.’
Rea was too dangerous. She exuded this aura that made me want to tease her, messing with my mind.
‘What Ast is afraid of.’
I hadn’t expected much, but as expected, he wouldn’t say it himself.
There were no fools in the imperial family who’d blurt out their own weaknesses—except for Rea.
So I had to find out what scared Ast on my own.
That iron mask who defied even me, a princess, and used my name to get his favorite tea planted in the palace…
“Sir Ast.”
“Yes, Your Highness.”
Seeing him bow his head with impeccably perfect etiquette—unlike his usual behavior—I gave him a sly smile.
“Seeing Rea like that, I’m scared of ending up the same way.”
“Y-Your Highness!”
“Yes, no human would want to end up in such an unsightly state.”
“Sir Ast! Unsightly? You’re talking about me, right? Right?!”
Watching Rea on the verge of tears and Ast trembling slightly with suppressed laughter while keeping his head bowed, I delivered my masterstroke to Ast.
“So, Ast. Marry me.”
“Your Highness?!”
“Your Highness?”
Grit.
I clamped my mouth shut and ground my teeth.
That was it—the expression I wanted to see on Ast.
His eyes were filled with shock, his face twisted as if the world was crumbling around him.
And soon, it shifted to one genuinely wondering if I’d lost my mind.
“Even I get hurt seeing a face like that, Ast.”
“Before thinking like that, how about reconsidering what Your Highness just said… no, your statement?”
Even the reckless Ast didn’t have the guts to call it bullshit to my face, hastily changing his word choice.
“Yes, exactly. It’s nonsense, Your Highness! Think again! Wait, was my appearance that threatening?”
“Yeah.”
“Cough.”
Ignoring Rea collapsing again while clutching her pathetic chest, I pressed the attack on Ast.
“Rather than clutching those tiny nonexistent breasts and flopping over, it’d be better to grab some guy nearby and get married.”
“Ugh….”
Ast frowned as Rea kneaded her clutched chest, still clinging to a shred of hope.
“Your Highness, you’re mistaken on two points. First, Lady Rea’s chest isn’t small.”
“Ah, Sir Ast?”
Rea stopped kneading and shot Ast a hopeful look.
Rea really was an idiot.
“Lady Rea’s chest doesn’t exist. In other words, she’s not small-breasted (小乳), but breastless (無乳)! She reached the pinnacle of nothingness as a swordmaster, but her chest is breastless (無乳)! Your Highness claimed something nonexistent exists!”
“Awaaah….”
Betrayed as much as she’d believed, Rea’s mouth hung open as she turned pale and burned white.
“So, what’s the second?”
“Grabbing the man right nearby—me. Doesn’t Your Highness have plenty of men around?”
I got the point, but the phrasing was a bit off.
“You know you’re saying something really weird, right, Ast? Making it sound like I, who’s only lived ten years, am some man-eater?”
“I’m just stating facts. How many escorts does Your Highness have? Am I the only man?”
“Hmm~ A romance between an exclusive butler and a princess—if I spread that to novelists and bards, it’d sell like hotcakes, don’t you think?”
“You’re out of touch with the trends, Your Highness. These days, it’s emperors or crown princes with maids, or queens or princesses with knights that sell.”
“Really?”
Tilting my head and looking up at him, Ast made a face like this was such a hassle.
“To be honest, Your Highness, you’re just saying that to mess with me, right?”
“Yeah, pretty much.”
Ast sighed deeply as I burst out laughing.
“What if someone else hears? I don’t want to die.”
“Why? Worried some brainless noble pushing a marriage alliance will try to take you out?”
Even if I looked like this, I was one of the top five in the line of imperial succession.
Marrying me meant gaining the qualifications to aim for the throne.
That attracted greedy idiots, families thrown in to block those idiots,
And even those top-ten supreme houses tossing in candidates with a whatever attitude.
The supreme houses might not care, but mid-tier count families and such could absolutely move to assassinate Ast based on rumors alone.
“Don’t worry. I hate anyone touching what’s mine, at least.”
“As long as Your Highness doesn’t touch me, I’ll be fine.”
I couldn’t hold back my laughter this time either, and Ast let out a sigh that seemed to shake the earth.
“Your Highness, leaving that aside. Lady Rea’s really shaken up, so maybe stop the teasing.”
“Huh? Rea?”
At Ast’s words, I looked at Rea, who’d normally have recovered and sulked by now.
“…This time it’s really bad.”
She stared blankly at the sky with unfocused eyes and her mouth agape. I was a little shocked.
Had I gone too far this time? Wait a second.
“Hang on, isn’t this because you called her breastless?”
To maintain a shred of decency, I’d called Rea’s chest small.
It was true, so she couldn’t argue.
Despite being nine years older than me, Rea had already been overtaken in chest size.
So Rea turning out like this was because of Ast’s breastless remark.
“You went too far, Ast. Even so, breastless is a stretch. Even men have some chest.”
“You know that’s not what I meant by breastless, Your Highness. You can easily find average men with bigger chests than Lady Rea’s. At that level, calling it breastless isn’t wrong.”
“Hmm… True, but.”
Losing to men in that department—Rea really had it rough.
“So, Your Highness, I did nothing wrong. I just stated the facts.”
When he put it like that, I had nothing to say.
The fault lay more with Rea, who couldn’t even argue against being called breastless.
“But with Rea like this, it’s no fun. You made her that way, so fix her. Or else the tale of the princess and her exclusive butler’s beautiful love really will spread through the palace.”
“Are you really trying to get me killed, Your Highness?”
Covering my mouth and shaking with laughter, Ast made a face like he was dying of annoyance and went to Rea’s side, whispering something.
This was working better than expected?
I didn’t love being rejected, but Ast suffering like this was more delicious than anticipated.
I watched as Ast, from afar, somehow revived Rea’s nearly dead spirits, making her eyes sparkle again with whatever he was saying.
“Done.”
“Already? Rea was in pretty bad shape this time. How’d you sweet-talk her?”
“Simple. She ended up like that over marriage, so I said I’d introduce her to a guy.”
“Ast. You have people you know?”
Surprised, I let my expression show, and Ast nodded calmly.
“There were a few who approached me, hoping to leech off my connection to Her Highness the Princess.”
“You’re introducing Rea to those kinds of people?”
“Lady Rea’s hopeless anyway, right? Just saying I’ll hook her up with someone will cheer her up for a while. Good method.”
Hearing him say Rea’s love life was hopeless left me speechless.
“You never know? There might be parasites aiming for Rea’s background who grit their teeth and stick to her. And right now, Rea might even consider marrying one.”
Among high nobles, political marriages were common.
Rea came from one of the ten supreme houses, far too grand.
Plus her role as my guard and being a swordmaster made it fine, but excluding students from the four great academies near the empire, most noble ladies married at 17.
Even if not married, everyone had at least an engagement.
Considering Rea’s background, at 19 she wasn’t too late yet, but with all her previous matches falling through, it was risky.
But Ast dismissed my slight worry with a nonchalant look.
“It’ll be fine, right?”
“Isn’t that too cavalier with someone else’s life?”
“No, it really will be fine. After all, Lady Rea and I are just Your Highness’s toys, aren’t we?”
“Hearing you call yourself a toy feels kinda weird.”
“You’re not denying it?”
“Facts are facts.”
At my words, Ast smirked slightly and said,
“Then, the moment Lady Rea falls for some parasite, won’t Your Highness catch it?”
“Even if Rea gets super disappointed?”
“Since when do you care about that, Your Highness?”
He said it so casually, but how many commoners could talk to imperial royalty like this?
This guy really was perfectly my type of crazy.