Rain on a Winter Night

We returned to Yawang. Wang Guang remained detained under our watch, forced to carry out a governor's duties from here.

Word that a mere thirteen riders had seized Henei's administrative seat tore through the entire commandery like a storm. Everyone who had been locked in the jails went home and slipped back into ordinary life.

But an incident this big should have drawn some kind of response from Luoyang, sitting right below us, shouldn't it? Of course I'd already accounted for that.

So I ordered Wang Guang to draft a letter to Dong Zhuo himself at once. The whole thing was nothing but baseless rumor, it said; he was simply unwell and handling affairs from Yawang for a while, so kindly mind your own business.

And just like that, everything was neatly wrapped up. I went with Yu Bi to the administrative office to see Wang Guang.

"Ah... Governor, I trust you aren't too uncomfortable?"

"You lock a man up and then ask if he's comfortable — what exactly is the point of that...? I have something to discuss with him alone. Would you give us the room for a moment?"

Wang Guang sent Yu Bi out and faced me one-on-one. His face was thick with resentment as he hissed under his breath.

"I hear you've carted off every last scrap of property from the ruined households straight to Yawang."

"They were ownerless assets anyway. I couldn't exactly leave them for Governor Wang of Henei to spend however he pleased, could I?"

"Do you even understand what kind of funds those are? That money and grain were hoarded like treasure specifically to stand against Dong Zhuo. If you truly care about the realm, release me at once."

"Ah, no need to worry about that. Those resources will go exactly where Governor Wang intended to put them."

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"What do you think? It means we're on the same side."

Only then did I reveal that we were playing for the same blue team. Wang Guang looked a little stunned, but if he thought it through carefully, he'd see I was right.

"So that's why you didn't report me to Dong Zhuo. In that case, there's no reason to keep me cooped up in Yawang, is there?"

"True enough — except there's bad blood between us personally, and who's to say Governor Wang won't take private revenge? So until Yuan Shao comes to Henei and mediates in person, you'll stay here and issue your orders through Han Hao. We'll keep your secret airtight, so don't fret too much."

"Damn it all... all this misery over that cursed thing between my legs..."

Wang Guang didn't like the arrangement one bit, but in the end he had no choice but to accept it. I left him reassured and stepped outside.

Hut! Two! Hut! Two!

Guan Yu and Zhang Fei were drilling the newly gathered soldiers. Thanks to the resources we'd pulled from Wang Guang's warehouses, we'd bulked up our numbers — but without real staying power, any further expansion was out of the question.

Haa... we really needed more talent. I'd looked around for decent people nearby, but there wasn't a single one worth using.

Sima Lang had been the best fit by ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠far — but by now she probably never wanted to see my face again. What was I supposed to do?

"So this is where you were."

"Huh? Lady Sangrim?"

It was Sangrim. I'd been certain she'd gone back to Wen County, yet somehow she'd already dismounted and was standing right in front of me.

"Looks like you've got a lot on your mind. A great hero who seized Henei's seat with a mere thirteen riders and even took the governor prisoner — why the long face?"

"Great hero, my foot... Never mind that. Is Lady Sima Lang doing well?"

"I knew you'd ask. Honestly, the two of you are exactly alike — pretending you don't care while your heads are full of each other."

"What is that supposed to mean..."

"When are you going to go apologize? You know it won't clear unless you bow your head all the way to the floor, right?"

"Haa... I know I need to apologize, but will she even accept it? Even I have to admit I went a little too far."

If I'd only scammed Sangrim, the damage might still have been repairable somehow. But knowing what Sima Lang had nearly gone through because of it — that wasn't the kind of thing you brushed off with a casual apology.

"So you're just going to pretend nothing happened? Because of you, even my relationship with Lang has gone stiff. So fix it. Somehow."

"I'm a little short on excuses... Maybe if I brought a gift, but I've got nothing on me."

"Lang is the most upright person alive — she has zero interest in jewelry or trinkets. If you wrote her a fine poem, though, she might be a little moved?"

"Buying something with money would be easier. How ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠am I supposed to write a poem?"

With a Politics stat of 1, any poem I wrote would just make Lü Bu laugh. But Sangrim hadn't thrown that out at random.

"Ta-da! I figured you'd say that, so I prepared one in advance. We're leaving right now."

"..."

Why was this girl so excited? She claimed she was using me to patch things up with her estranged friend, but looking at her, she just seemed to be enjoying the whole situation.

In the end I let Sangrim drag me to Wen County. And so, with her mediating, I found myself sitting across from Sima Lang in the guest pavilion for the first time in a long while.

"What brings you here?"

Of course, Sima Lang made it abundantly clear with ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠her entire body that my visit was unwelcome. The gentle, refined bearing was nowhere to be found — she simply glared at me with cold eyes.

"Well... I thought an apology might be in order."

"An apology out of 'necessity,' you say? If it's an apology of convenience, I have no intention of accepting it. And there are things in this world that an apology can fix, and things it cannot. What happened to me that day..."

Sima Lang stopped there, flinched, and glanced sideways at Sangrim. Sangrim, who knew nothing, just stared blankly back.

"Ahem... Besides, what have you been doing all this time that you're only showing up now? From the looks of it, Sangrim dragged you here by force. I don't want an apology like that."

"As you know, I've been busy hauling Wang Guang in. We had to explain things to the court, and there was the document transfer work, and so on..."

"Excuses to the very end. If you have nothing more to say, then—"

"I—I brought a gift!"

In the end, I had no choice but to play the ultimate gift card. Sima Lang was far too well-mannered a woman to throw me out without at least looking at a present.

"And what sort of gift did you bring?"

"Well... I wrote a poem. May I read it here?"

"...?"

The word poem sparked a sudden flicker of curiosity in Sima Lang. Swallowing my embarrassment, I picked up the poem Sangrim had prepared for me in advance.

In a trembling voice I somehow managed to get through the whole thing. When Sima Lang still said nothing, I lifted my head — and to my surprise, her eyes were closed, lost in the poem.

"Where is your hometown?"

"Zhuo County, in Youzhou..."

"Did the imagery come to you that rainy day, by any chance?"

"That's right. That day, something in my chest suddenly ached so badly. Probably because I kept thinking Lady Sima must still hate me..."

"..."

Only then did Sima Lang open her eyes. Whatever masterpiece Sangrim had written, Sima Lang was staring straight at me with her face flushed red.

"I would like... to give this poem to you, Lady Sima."

"W-what are you saying? I couldn't possibly accept something so precious. Simply being allowed to hear it was gift enough."

"But if you won't take it, I don't think my heart will settle. I wrote it through a rainy night thinking of you, Lady Sima — so please, I hope you'll accept it."

"..."

A flash of flustered light crossed Sima Lang's eyes. Her ears went scarlet a moment later, and she looked away, not knowing where to put herself.

"I don't understand. You're asking me to accept a poem you wrote thinking of me all night? Do you even know what that means when you say it?"

"I just... wanted to give you a poem?"

"..."

Somehow the atmosphere didn't feel right. I turned toward Sangrim on a hunch — and she was biting back a snickering laugh.

What was this? Running it through a Intelligence 100 brain, the answer was clear: Sangrim had played me.

Of course she didn't have the skill to fool me under normal circumstances — but I was such a complete outsider to this culture that I'd walked right into it.

"Did I... make some kind of mistake...?"

"You don't even know what you just did. You just asked my sister out."

"...!?"

At that exact moment, the door slid open with a rattle and Sima Yi appeared yet again. Had this girl installed listening devices in the guest pavilion or something?

But the shock of what she'd just said hit harder. What exactly had I just done to Sima Lang?

"What is that supposed to mean, Lady Sangrim? You never said anything of the sort to me."

"I'm the one who's surprised — that a master strategist of ghostly cunning fell for it so easily."

Sangrim was deploying the classic logic of the fool who got tricked is the one at fault. Sima Lang was angry too.

"That was going way too far! How could you do that to me?"

"But if I hadn't done something like this, this meeting never would have happened at all, would it? He genuinely wanted to apologize — that's the truth. And you were waiting for that apology too, weren't you?"

"I never—"

"Can you really say you weren't? Then what were all those sighs looking north every day? And when you'd be stewing alone and then suddenly your mouth would curl up for no reason — who was that about, living where?"

"..."

Sima Lang couldn't answer. She could only glare at Sangrim, unable to bear the shame.

So that was it. Sima Lang actually wanted to accept my apology.

Yes, I'd put her in danger with an enormous lie — but it had ended well, and the gratitude of being rescued in a crisis still lingered.

"Take it."

But Sima Yi's next words were even more outrageous. She shoved herself between us, snatched up the poem I'd "written," held it out to Sima Lang, and told her to accept it right now.

"What are you talking about, Zhongda? He was only tricked by Sangrim—"

"You're the one who got tricked, sister. There's no way a guy like him wrote a poem like this. Anyone can tell Sangrim wrote it — why can't you see that? Are your ears broken, or your eyes?"

"...!?"

Amazingly, Sima Yi had spotted in an instant that Sangrim had written the poem. What made no sense was that her own closest friend, Sima Lang, hadn't noticed.

"Well... maybe she just didn't want to notice?"

Sangrim cut in without a shred of tact. The impact of those words must have been enormous.

Sima Lang's hands even started trembling as she poured every last scrap of resentment onto me.

"You humiliate me to the very end. In all my life I have never been insulted like this. Leave this house at once."

"Lady Sima? I was tricked by Sangrim, yes, but saying I set out to insult you is a bit—"

"You toyed with someone's heart and you think words like that will work? Get out! If you don't leave, I will call people."

"..."

I had never seen her this angry. Even when she'd slapped me that day in the county town, it hadn't been this bad.

It wasn't simply rage at my lies. She was furious that every bit of emotion the poem had stirred in her had been rendered worthless.

"No. I'm not leaving. I still have things to say."

"I will not listen. What do you think you're doing? Do you even know where you are, taking that tone—"

"Honestly, what did I do wrong? Lying that Sangrim had been captured by Wang Guang? Didn't it end up benefiting everyone?"

"W-what are you saying right now? Back there, to me—"

"I had no idea Wang Guang was that kind of man, and I was going to go rescue her right away from the start. So what harm actually came to you, Lady Sima? For remonstrating against a governor committing tyranny to save a friend, your name only rose in the region, didn't it?"

"..."

It was true. When I'd checked her status window at our first meeting earlier, her Fame was twenty points higher than before.

"That was the plan from the beginning. Lady Sima would gain renown from it, and Yu Bi would benefit as well — so I thought of it as a white lie of sorts."

"Why on earth would you do that? You didn't have to send me there at all."

"Because the truth is, I do want you, Lady Sima. Not in the romantic sense Sangrim was messing around with, of course. But for the work Yu Bi means to do, your help is absolutely necessary — so I tried to borrow your hand, only to keep running into interference from a certain someone along the way."

As I said it, I shot a look at Sima Yi. This was all your fault, you little brat.

If you'd just been a little less sharp, none of this would have happened.

"Blaming Zhongda, are you? In the end, you've never been sincere even once."

"And what's wrong with that? Bandits have seized the imperial palace and rebellions are breaking out everywhere — and I'm supposed to play the pure saint all by myself? Do you think you can survive that way?"

"If one cannot keep the proper way of being human, how is that any different from a beast?"

"How do you keep any way of being if you're dead? Do you still not understand? In a place where only beasts remain, you have no choice but to become a beast yourself. Only after you've beaten every last one of them down can you finally live like a human being."

"Sophistry. You still have no intention of being truthful with me."

"..."

Talking was getting me nowhere. Trying to reason with someone this worked up was idiotic to begin with.

Which meant I needed a drastic measure here. The clearest, most undeniable proof that I wasn't just some ordinary liar.

"Lady Sima, you've always been curious about my name, haven't you?"

"I'm not curious anymore. I never want to see you again—"

"My name is Do Yeop. The man who tried to assassinate Dong Zhuo not long ago, failed, and fled with Xiahou Yuan — that was me."

"..!?"

In an instant the entire atmosphere of the guest pavilion flipped. Sima Lang and Sangrim both gaped, unable to believe what they'd heard, and even the ice-cold Sima Yi lifted her eyelids a fraction.

"That's why I never told anyone my name. The moment I did, Dong Zhuo would send pursuit, and not only Yu Bi but all of Henei would get dragged into it."

"Then why reveal it to me? It's not as if you don't know who my father is and what he does."

"Because there's no way Lady Sima would report me."

"You know me that well, do you?"

"I know you're not the type to snitch to Dong Zhuo. The fact that Wang Guang is still walking around unharmed is proof enough. You knew Wang Guang was colluding with Yuan Shao, and you still never said a word to your father. Even knowing full well what would happen if it came out, deep down you were hoping someone would topple Dong Zhuo."

"..."

No doubt about it. The reason Sima Lang had kept that secret all this time was because she rejected Dong Zhuo.

Even before, when I'd told the story of trying to assassinate him, she'd praised me like some great martyr, hadn't she?

"I'm not trying to brag as if I'm some great man. But as you said, Lady Sima, it seemed I'd never shown you any sincerity — so I wanted to tell you. This is the real gift that comes with the apology."

"What exactly do you want from me? There's no need to put yourself at such risk just to apologize."

"I already told you. There's work that must be done to help Yu Bi, and I need your help for it. So please — help Yu Bi."

"..."

A secret laid bare at the risk of my life. There was no way Sima Lang could fail to see the will behind it.

Sima Yi, however, apparently had no intention of acknowledging any of it.

‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠

"Don't make me laugh."

"Zh-Zhongda? Lord Do trusted me enough to reveal a secret this big — you can't say things like that—"

"You have no sense of your place at all, do you? Do you even know where you are? Dragging the eldest of the Eight Simas — of all people — into running errands for some county magistrate? You really think that guy is a vessel big enough to hold my sister?"

"..."

Exactly the words I'd expected. Their family was such a grand, illustrious house that they couldn't possibly serve under someone as insignificant as Yu Bi.

And that, in truth, was why Yu Bi had failed. She'd started from so low that real talent wouldn't even give her the time of day.

Yuan Shao and Cao Cao had earned enviable positions through their own ability, sure. But they'd also been born into the Three Excellencies for four generations — a great house with a grandfather rich enough to buy the rank of Excellency for ten thousand gold.

Yu Bi had nothing. Beyond the hollow blood of the imperial clan and the surname Liu, she was alone — and astonishingly, not a single person paid her any mind.

Was that why? Without meaning to, I found myself pitying her.

The me who used to get completely ignored just for having garbage stats somehow overlapped with her, standing there mocked by Sima Yi.

"Just because the mouth of a vessel looks small doesn't mean that's all there is to it. None of you have even stepped inside that vessel yet."

"Do I have to stick my hand in to know? What, do you taste every pile you see to check if it's shit or soybean paste?"

"Shall I be honest? Is the Sima clan really all that impressive? If you're so great, why are you content with whatever office Dong Zhuo hands you? If your house is so magnificent, why haven't you joined the righteous uprising of the realm — the one even a frontier nobody like Wang Guang signed on for?"

"Are you finished?"

"Not quite. Guan Yu and Zhang Fei are generals with the strength of ten thousand men, and Lu Zhi is a hero of both brush and blade whose name resounds across the land. Jian Yong is a woman of pure grit who brought a band of three hundred all the way from Zhuo County to Henei without losing a single person! Could any of you draw a blade in Dong Zhuo's face the way I did? Could you seize Henei's seat with only thirteen riders? And every last one of them serves Yu Bi. So what exactly have you done to slap on that grandiose name — the Eight Simas — and sit around preening at each other like you're the heroes of the age? Maybe it's time you considered something. Maybe it isn't that Yu Bi's vessel is too small. Maybe you frogs at the bottom of a well simply aren't capable of measuring how big that vessel really is."

"..."

Sima Yi's expression hardened. Did you really think you'd beat me in a war of words?

You just got hit by a counter skill. Between a little girl like you and me, there's a wall you still can't cross.

"Whether you take the offer or not is up to you. But remember one thing. Never again speak of Yu Bi—"

No. There was no longer any reason to call her that. Right in front of them, I made plain exactly what Yu Bi was to me.

"Never again look down on my lord."

I'd decided. I was going hell mode.