The Dark Knight
Wang Guang, Governor of Henei. In his youth, they say, he was widely respected for his outstanding sense of justice and upright character.
But the office makes the man. Once He Jin summoned him to Luoyang and court life became second nature, he flipped completely. Word was he was a womanizer who could give Cao Cao a run for his money — the kind who would leap out of bed at the mere mention of a noble young lady.
The problem was that I, in my eagerness to boost Yu Bi's reputation, had sent Sima Lang — practically the living definition of a noble young lady — straight to Wang Guang. So I had to rescue her before he could ruthlessly pluck that flower.
"We're ready."
Guan Yu and Zhang Fei finished reviewing the troops and came over to Yu Bi and me. Yu Bi's crew, heading out on campaign for the first time in a while, was practically bursting with fighting spirit.
"Lady Guan Yu, what exactly are you doing right now? Are we going to war or something?"
Seriously? Do you think this is Operation Barbarossa? Why don't you just openly advertise that we're going to cut Wang Guang's throat?
"The opponent is the Governor of Henei. There's no way we could seize the administrative compound with a modest force, is there?"
"Three hundred men couldn't even breach the gates, let alone take the compound — what are you talking about? Everyone seems to be under some kind of delusion here. Our goal is to bring Sima Lang back, not fight Wang Guang to the death."
"Uwooong! But the governor's compound's gonna have a whole mess of soldiers, right? How're we supposed to snatch her from there?"
You think I don't know that? That's exactly why we solve everything without the other side knowing a thing.
"Lord Do Yeop? Do you have some clever plan?"
"Haaah... First, send everyone back. From among them, pick the ten fastest and best at following orders. We're only taking those."
"That doesn't make any sense. How do you plan to fight Wang Guang with numbers like that?"
"We're not fighting — we're just bringing Sima Lang back. If the small numbers scare you, Lady Guan Yu, you're free to sit this one out."
"What do you take me for, saying something like that? I already said I could go alone if I had to!"
Guan Yu flew into a rage the moment she felt slighted. Meanwhile, a half-asleep Jian Yong sent the bulk of the troops back. Zhang Fei selected ten elites from among them and brought the horses.
"We'll be off, then, Lady Yu Bi."
"Ah... Please, just return safely. If anything should happen to you, Lord Do Yeop, I..."
Yu Bi's eyes welled up again. The way she clung to my hand and refused to let go, anyone watching would have sworn she was a noble lady seeing her knight off to the battlefield.
Hyah!
The distance to Huai County was roughly a hundred li — about forty kilometers.
Considering the horses' stamina, it was a full day's ride. We'd left at dawn, so we'd arrive around sunset.
But Sima Lang had only set out a little ahead of us, so we still had time. Besides, night was better for a stealthy infiltration anyway.
"Just what are you planning to do? If you're thinking of tricking us, I won't let it slide."
The moment we stopped for a brief rest, Guan Yu came over to pick a fight again. Did I stiff you on money? Did I dine and dash? Why are you hounding me like this?
"Trick you? Who's tricking anyone? I'm doing all of this for Lady Yu Bi's sake."
"How are you going to rescue someone with this few people? One wrong move and I'll take your head off on the spot."
"If you can't trust me, then don't. But you, Lady Guan Yu, need to follow my instructions. If you go off-script, things will truly go to hell — just know that."
"You're... trying to control me? Who do you think you are, daring to give me orders?"
Shing! I immediately drew the sword Yu Bi had given me — the so-called Twin Swords of Male and Female.
Might +3
"This is Lady Yu Bi's personal sword. She transferred full operational command to me — so ignoring that is the same as defying Lady Yu Bi herself."
"Don't talk nonsense. I'll play along this time out of respect for my sister's face — but draw a blade in front of me one more time, and I'll take your head without warning. Remember that."
"..."
Honestly, just because she's strong she treats human lives like less than flies. Still, at least Guan Yu agreed to follow orders. That was a relief.
Because if she hadn't, my life would be on the line.
Neigh!
By the time we reached Huai County, the sun had already set. From a distance, the gate sentries heard our hoofbeats and leveled their spears, shouting.
"Who goes there!?"
"His Excellency the Chancellor has urgent orders for the Governor of Henei. We must see him at once."
"W-why didn't we know about that? If you have something like an imperial letter, would you show it?"
"Look here, you bastards! Clear the road right now before I have every last one of you dragged before the Chancellor in chains!"
I roughly unfurled a scrap of burlap and waved it at them. They started trembling and immediately stepped aside.
"Forgive our suspicion! His Lordship the Governor should be at the administrative compound."
Just like that, we'd forced our way through. Zhang Fei came up beside me, looking amazed.
"Uwooong!? How'd you get 'em to clear the road? Yide was all ready for a fight!"
"For reference — not a single person is going to shed blood today. So Lady Zhang Fei, I'd rather you not even think about drawing that snake spear."
"Got it! But did you forge Dong Zhuo's letter?"
Forge? Hardly. I just waved some random scrap and pretended it was an official letter. So why did they fall for it so stupidly?
Because I'm currently in the Immortal state, that's why. At last, the cooldown on Zuo Zuo-Style Earth Escape Technique had ended.
Immortal
Zuo Zuo-Style Earth Escape Technique
Cooldown Complete
I'd been counting on that from the very beginning when I sent Sima Lang to Wang Guang.
Whoosh!
We all moved toward the administrative compound. But there were sentries at the government office gate, and vaulting the wall carried too much risk.
"Lady Guan Yu, Lady Zhang Fei — wait here. When I give the signal, push past the gate guards and come in."
"What exactly are you planning to do?"
"Just a light bit of reconnaissance. Don't worry too much — stay hidden. Under. No. Circumstances. is anyone to get hurt."
"..."
Guan Yu still looked thoroughly unconvinced. At least Zhang Fei understood and camouflaged the soldiers.
Whoosh...
Meanwhile, I moved toward the compound wall. I nimbly scaled it and dropped inside — only to find the place already crawling with troops.
"Wh-who's there!? A thief?"
"A thief, sure — a cat burglar."
But to their eyes, it was nothing more than a single cat hopping over the wall and strolling along at its leisure. I ignored them lightly and headed deeper into the compound.
Perhaps because things had been so unsettled lately, Wang Guang had the interior lit up brightly even though it was night.
I approached a soldier dozing off in a corner.
"Hey. You sleeping on duty?"
"Hrrk! Wh-who are you?"
"Who do you think? Your superior. You bastards are sleeping your heads off while the Right Commandant is on patrol?"
"I was so tired I just... without realizing..."
"Damn rookies, I swear... Who's your direct senior? I'm going to have him call a full assembly, you piece of—"
"I'm sorry! Please, anything but an assembly..."
"Forget it. Let's see if you were trained properly. Where are they holding the local notables dragged in from the counties?"
"The underground prison, sir!"
"Good. You answered well, so the assembly's cancelled. You look exhausted — go get some rest."
"Sir? But I'm supposed to guard this corridor..."
"If the Right Commandant tells you to go sleep, you sleep. What's with all the backtalk? Tell the other kids in the corridor to go sleep too."
"...?"
It probably didn't make much sense, but an order from a superior was an order. Once I'd cleaned out the corridor, I headed for the underground prison.
Sob... sob...
Stepping into the underground prison was like walking into a funeral parlor. The jailer was face-down on a table, dead asleep, and the crudely built cells were packed with people.
"Excuse me — a word, if I may. Did a woman arrive here today? A beauty pretty enough to be a bride on her wedding day..."
"You mean the eldest daughter of the Sima clan? She didn't come here. She's probably with Wang Guang right about now."
"..."
What... the hell... is that supposed to mean? She only just arrived — and he's already dragged her into his bedchamber?
A sudden urgency seized me. The prisoners, finding me strange, asked:
"And who might you be?"
"A Dark Knight come to end Wang Guang's brutal tyranny and free you all. Sent by Lady Yu Bi of Yawang."
"Yu Bi... isn't that the one who's been sheltering the families Wang Guang drove out? Don't tell me she's come in person to strike him down?"
"Not quite — but I will free every one of you, so don't worry. Now then..."
I stole the keys from the jailer and unlocked every cell. As the murmuring grew louder, the jailer finally stirred from his sleep.
"Wh-what!? Why are you all out? Get back in there right now!"
"Can't you see the numbers here? Read the room and get in the cell yourself."
"..."
When prisoners escape, the jailer is naturally the first target. To avoid being harmed, he walked into a cell of his own accord and locked the door.
"Everyone, listen carefully. If you rush outside right now, it'll cause a massive uproar. Wait here for now, and the moment I call, come out at once. There are no sentries left inside the compound anyway."
Leaving the freed prisoners behind, I exited the prison. But this was a complete disaster.
If I don't make it in time, Wang Guang will start testing every position — this one, that one — on Sima Lang!
Whoosh!
For someone with such low Might, I'd moved around far too much today — my head was spinning. The one mercy was that finding Wang Guang's chambers wasn't difficult.
The largest room in the compound, guarded by two sentries — even with my eyes closed I could tell it was the governor's. But taking both guards at once risked tipping off whoever was inside.
I had no choice but to head for the window. Hanging on like a spider, I peered inside — and sure enough, a man who looked like Wang Guang and Sima Lang were seated across a single table from each other.
"It is a late hour. Why have you summoned me here at such a time?"
Sima Lang seemed thoroughly frightened. She was putting on a calm front, but what business could a young lady of a great house possibly have with an unrelated man in the dead of night?
"Heh heh... I've given some thought to your request. I, too, have no desire to lose a talent like Sangrim over something so trivial."
"...?"
What is this guy talking about? Sangrim is currently dead asleep in Yawang, completely unaware any of this is happening.
And yet Wang Guang isn't even denying Sima Lang's plea to free Sangrim — he's acting as if Sangrim is actually here?
"I'm relieved persuasion worked. Then, since the hour is late, let us continue this conversation tomorrow..."
"There's a condition."
"What condition do you mean?"
"You already know. Why play dumb?"
Rustle... Wang Guang's hairy hand settled on Sima Lang's knee. Startled by a sensation of pure revulsion she had never experienced in her life, she shot to her feet.
"W-what is the meaning of this?"
"Didn't you come here prepared? For the price of saving a friend's life, this is ridiculously cheap. Just lie down over there and I'll take care of everything."
"How can you say such a thing... If you don't step back at once, I'll scream!"
"Scream all you want — that just gets me more excited. The boys outside won't care either way. Haaah, fuck... I'm so damn hard right now. The eldest daughter of the great Sima clan, walking in here of her own free will?"
"P-please stop. This is not something a human being does!"
"You were born the same way, so quit acting so high and mighty. No — keep talking like that. I love watching a refined little thing like you squirm underneath a lowlife like me. Play the demure lady all you want — by the end you'll be rolling your eyes and begging me to go harder."
"S-stop it! I don't want to hear this!"
Unable to endure the vile obscenities, Sima Lang clapped her hands over her own ears. But that's a mistake. That's exactly what Wang Guang wants.
"Ugh... I can't hold back anymore!"
"Kyaaa!!!"
Whoosh! Wang Guang lunged and roughly seized Sima Lang in his arms. Overpowering her struggles by sheer force, he sucked in a disgusting snort of breath through his nose.
"Haaah... What the hell kind of scent is this, getting me so worked up... Just wait a little. I'll put something really delicious in that pretty mouth of yours.... Urghk!"
Slip!
But what Wang Guang wanted never came to pass. Because, of all things, a banana peel — the kind that grows farther south than even the Southern Man lands — had been rotting right there on the floor.
With a heavy thud, Wang Guang crashed to the ground. I immediately vaulted through the window and clamped a hand over Sima Lang's mouth.
"Mmph! Mmph!"
The moment she recognized me, Sima Lang tried to scream. But with her mouth covered, no further sound escaped.
"My lord...? Are you all right?"
Perhaps because Wang Guang's voice had cut off so suddenly, the sentries outside had sensed something amiss. I immediately mimicked Wang Guang's voice.
"Ah... fuck, this bitch is so damn good... Hrk... I-I'm gonna—"
"...?"
Only then did the sentries decide everything was back to normal and fall silent. But Sima Lang, having just heard those disgusting words right in front of her, had turned red all the way to her ears and didn't know what to do with herself.
Promise you won't say a word. Then I'll let go of your mouth.
Nod, nod...
Sima Lang nodded, so I released her. And then — whoosh! — now it was her turn to throw herself into my arms.
"Sob... sob..."
"..."
Right. She'd nearly been through something horrific just now — maybe I'd been thinking too much about myself. I patted her back and tried to comfort her.
It's all right. Nothing's going to happen.
Sob... What is going on? Why is my lord here...?
It's a long story... Wang Guang will wake up soon, so we need to deal with the sentries first. But... I'll have to say some filthy things in the process. Is that all right?
Filthy things... like what he was saying earlier...?
"Hah, look at this bitch dripping wet. You like that? You like getting fucked like a dog? Uh... uhh... I-I'm coming, uwaaaah!!!!"
"...!?"
I thrashed around like a madman, putting on a full performance of climax. Sima Lang, at a complete loss, covered her ears — and I kept going regardless.
"That's it, that's it... suck it all down, every last drop. Haaah... how did this filthy slut go so long without a taste of cock, ugh..."
"..."
Sima Lang was halfway to fainting. Judging the setup complete, I called out to the sentries outside.
"You may leave."
"Sir? But..."
"This woman is embarrassed by the sounds she makes — it kills the mood. Withdraw at once."
"Yes, sir!"
And just like that, the sentries were gone. I wiped away a sigh of relief — only for a sharp smack! to ring out as Sima Lang's delicate palm cracked across my cheek.
"Ghk... Lady Sima, why suddenly—"
"How could you put such filthy words in your mouth? What must they think of me now?"
"But there was no other way to get them to leave, was there?"
"Even so..."
Shame, it seemed, was simply unbearable. Sima Lang couldn't even meet my eyes as she straightened her disheveled clothes.
"We need to leave this place."
"No. We're not running."
"What do you mean? Wang Guang will wake up any moment..."
"Exactly what I said. We're not running. We're going to seize the compound instead."
"...?"
Of course she doesn't understand. But this was always the plan.
Since we've come this far — tonight, I'll write a legend.