Audience with the Emperor
Lately I had been sinking into dangerous thoughts I could barely believe were my own.
The Empress Dowager He's attempts on Liu Xie's life never stopped. Liu Xie had lost her only friend right before her eyes, and just the day before yesterday she had even tried to kill herself.
Maybe I had grown attached, because I found it hard to simply stand by and watch. But for a White-Haired Failure with a Leadership of a mere twenty, stopping the Empress Dowager was impossible.
Wang Yun and Chosun, the only ones who might have helped, had long since been swallowed by hollow notions of loyalty and duty.
And yet the truly amusing part was this: the Empress Dowager would die soon enough even if I never lifted a finger.
If I simply let He Jin die, Dong Zhuo would march in, murder both Liu Bian and the Empress Dowager, and set Liu Xie on the throne as emperor.
No. No, no, no…
What the hell was I thinking? Even granting that it would free Liu Xie from the threat of assassination—
Why on earth would Dong Zhuo be better than the Empress Dowager?
He was a traitor to the realm, the very model of those who destroy nations. The Han's lifespan was already running out, so a few such men were hardly a problem in themselves—but in the end, Liu Xie would suffer just as badly.
If I were Liu Xie, which would I prefer? The constant terror of not knowing when the next assassin would strike, or wearing an empty crown while enduring Dong Zhuo's oppression?
And beyond that, summoning Dong Zhuo would bring the age of chaos along as a free passive. For a White-Haired Failure with a Leadership of twenty, that world would be far too brutal to survive.
"Always lost in thought. Just what goes on inside that head of yours?"
Chosun appeared. As usual she frowned at me, staring as if I were some strange creature for being so absorbed in private worries.
But shit… thinking it through, I wasn't the only one who would suffer once Dong Zhuo rose to power.
The shock of Liu Xie's suicide attempt had been so great that I had forgotten who the greatest victim of the coming chaos would be.
The woman standing right in front of me. Chosun. I hadn't forgotten what means Wang Yun would use to eliminate Dong Zhuo, had I?
If things ran their course, Chosun would become the final piece on the board, forced to play the beauty trap between Dong Zhuo and Lü Bu. That god-crafted perfect face and those unconcealable, ample breasts would be defiled by the hands of two beasts!
"Ah—no!"
"Of course not! How dare you rake a woman's body with those filthy eyes?"
Chosun spoke with pure contempt, having caught me staring straight at her chest the entire time. But all I was doing was looking. Dong Zhuo and Lü Bu would do far worse than look.
"Ch-Chosun? Has the Grand General ever been summoned? By the Empress Dowager, for instance?"
"I've never heard of such a thing. Why ask all of a sudden?"
"It's nothing. Haa… Chosun? How far would you go in sacrifice for the country?"
"A man so drowned in sentiment that he forgets his own duty asks a worthless question. Of course I would stake my life."
"Only your life? What about, say, that slender yet ample body of yours…"
"You filthy bastard! Mock me one more time and I will forget the mission entirely and end you where you stand!"
Whip—!
True to form, Chosun's dagger snapped out on pure spinal reflex. But you were about to be passed back and forth between Dong Zhuo and Lü Bu like a breeding press—how was that the thing that caught your eye?
No. This wouldn't do. I had to keep He Jin alive and stop Dong Zhuo.
I felt a little sorry for Liu Xie, but it was still better than watching Chosun become a flesh puppet for anyone who wasn't me.
"You will go before the Son of Heaven. Guard His Majesty."
When we returned to the palace, an elderly eunuch delivered the assignment. Back for all of five minutes and already another headache.
Going to see the Emperor meant the Empress Dowager would be there too. Liu Xie knew perfectly well who had poisoned her food—and now she would have to force a smile in front of her would-be killer?
When I entered her chambers, Liu Xie was sighing with a rigid face. I stepped to her side and tried to offer comfort.
"It will be over soon. Please don't trouble yourself too much."
"I am not troubled. How dare a servant speak such nonsense to a king?"
"…"
Drop the tough act. Three days ago you tried a swan dive into the pond.
Going to meet a dead dog had only ever been a convenient excuse to dull the fear of dying. The truth was she had decided it was better to die by her own hand than be murdered.
"From now on I'll inspect the food even more thoroughly."
"Will you? Easy for you to say—you'll never have to eat a poisoned meal for the rest of your life."
"Of course I know that nothing I say is any real comfort. Hmm… I'm not sure this will help either, but have you ever heard of Chi-byung-nan-byung?"
"What does that mean?"
"There's something called the Yuedanping—the Month Evaluation. People skilled at reading character use it to measure a man's abilities. I once received one myself. They called me 'an incurable failure in peace, an incurable failure in chaos.'"
"Pfft…"
At last Liu Xie burst out laughing. Good. Laugh.
We were about to walk in and face a murder suspect. If torching my own dignity could burn off even a little of the tension, I would make a fool of myself as much as she needed.
"It cannot be that bad."
"No, they saw me perfectly. Anyway, people like me exist in this world. I know your situation is far harder, but it means you're not completely alone."
"Spare me the nonsense and get ready. I have no desire to hear the Empress Dowager call me slovenly."
So she had steeled herself, at least somewhat, for the meeting. I turned to fetch her clothes—and a low voice reached me once more.
"Did you… tell Chosun?"
"About last night? I didn't. And I intend to keep it secret for the rest of my life."
"Why? Was your role not to watch me?"
"Watch you? My master is Your Majesty. Even if I weren't truly a eunuch, you are already the master of all under heaven."
"Such a flatterer… The master of all under heaven is not me. It is the Son of Heaven."
"Still, you've got about half of it, haven't you?"
"…"
Liu Xie said nothing more. But she did seem faintly grateful.
Knowing that at least one person in the world would keep her secret—perhaps that was what she had wanted most of all.
We entered the imperial palace. Liu Xie offered a respectful greeting to Liu Bian—Emperor Shao—seated in full formal dress, and to the Empress Dowager He standing guard at his side.
"This subject, the Prince of Chenliu, presents himself before the Son of Heaven."
"It's been a while, Xie. Have you been well?"
"By the Emperor's grace, I have lived in constant ease."
By proper etiquette, even before the Son of Heaven, a prince of the blood like Liu Xie—herself an imperial son by birth—had no need to humble herself this far.
But he was, for the moment, master of the realm, and his mother was hunting her life at every opportunity. Lowering herself as far as possible was the only sensible course.
Liu Bian looked nothing like Liu Xie. I had never seen Emperor Ling, but perhaps the boy had inherited only his father's worst traits.
Lack of exercise had already given him a potbelly at his young age. From wearing the imperial crown so constantly, the sweat-soaked hairline on his forehead was receding into an M-shape.
The Empress Dowager kept herself reasonably well for her age, but even so she could not hide her vulgarity. Presently she addressed Liu Xie in a sly, honeyed voice.
"I hear the dog you were raising has died?"
"…!?"
Bringing up the dead dog here, of all places, to twist the knife in Liu Xie's trauma? And that dog was as good as killed by you!
"I-it was ill, and this subject failed to notice in time."
"They say that when a king accumulates no virtue, those beneath him suffer. The late Emperor was renowned for his benevolent character, and the present Son of Heaven's merit is so high that all the people of the realm look up to him in reverence. Why, then, does the Prince of Chenliu stain the name of the imperial house?"
"I am… deeply ashamed."
This, too, was absurd. No matter that she was the Emperor's mother, the Empress Dowager had no right to speak that way to a prince of the blood—least of all to Liu Xie, who carried Emperor Ling's direct line.
Even in ancient China, pinning down a child and doing this—what kind of behavior was it? At this point I wanted to become Dong Zhuo myself just so I could shut that bitch's mouth.
"Little sister? I have something to show you. Won't you step into my chambers for a moment?"
Were Liu Bian and Liu Xie's relations not so bad after all? To my surprise, the Emperor himself was inviting her to his private rooms.
"H-how could this humble subject enter the Emperor's chambers?"
"Why not? Brother and sister ought to talk now and then, shouldn't they? Go on in."
"…"
What was this atmosphere? Liu Bian spoke warmly, flaunting their closeness, while Liu Xie broke out in a cold sweat and scrambled for any excuse to refuse.
The problem was that I was merely the Prince of Chenliu's eunuch. I had no right to enter the Emperor's chambers. Which meant I would have to send Liu Xie in alone…
Softly, softly…
My guts were starting to crawl out of my belly. Before I knew it, my body was moving toward the Emperor's rooms.
More precisely, toward the windows rather than the corridor. As the saying goes, the darkest place is under the lamp—apparently no one imagined a madman would target the Emperor's own window, because there was no watch at all.
Peek… I eased my head up over the sill. Across a single table sat Liu Bian and Liu Xie, face to face.
"Xie, you've grown even more beautiful…"
"Y-you flatter me."
"Not at all. You're truly becoming a woman now. Heh heh…"
"…"
Was this an imperial court or a hentai? If Liu Bian truly held Liu Xie dear and spoke from that place, I might have understood—but his repulsive appearance made it impossible to keep my stomach from turning.
"I hear marriage talks were going around?"
"They did not go well."
"They didn't 'not go well.' I sabotaged them myself."
"What… do you mean by that?"
Slide… Liu Bian's thick hand settled on Liu Xie's knee. Her eyes flew wide in shock, but she seemed to lack the courage to throw his touch off.
"You know my heart perfectly well, so why act like this? I don't want to give you to anyone. I want you to be mine for the rest of my life."
"Y-you must not do this. Your Majesty is the body that stands above all people—how can you…"
Lunge—!
And then he simply wrapped his arms around her outright. Liu Xie recoiled with a sharp cry.
Sparks flared in my own eyes. But no one appeared—which meant the eunuchs guarding the entrance were all in on it.
"D-don't do this, Your Majesty—no, Brother!"
"Hah… hah… I am the Son of Heaven. Everything under heaven is mine, and you are mine as well. Now that that old hag the Empress Dowager is dead, no one can stand in our way. Hah… hah…"
So unfit that even a simple embrace left him already winded—yet his manhood, at least, was in fine health.
It strained…
His lower half began to swell. That lust-swollen lump of flesh looked ready, any moment now, to drive into Liu Xie's slender body and thrash without the slightest mercy.