The Tibetan Mastiff
I never should have taken this job. I was the only person alive who already knew what was about to unfold.
By now Yuan Shao would have delivered the joint petition to He Jin and ordered the slaughter of the eunuchs. He Jin, true to form, would dither and hesitate until the Ten Attendants moved first and murdered him instead. The catastrophe history would later call the Rebellion of the Ten Attendants. Enraged, Yuan Shao and his faction would butcher every eunuch in the palace to avenge their lord—only for Dong Zhuo to appear out of nowhere, seize the emperor, and walk away with the spoils.
Once the palace eunuchs were wiped out, I would not survive either.
So why accept the assignment knowing all that?
No need to worry. The records say Yuan Shao’s men forced every person leaving the palace to drop their trousers so they could check for castration. All I had to do was flash them a clean pair of balls and stroll right through. Yet that still left me standing at a fork in the road.
Do I warn Chosun or Wang Yun about the Ten Attendants’ plot, or keep silent? If anyone asks why I care whether a man I have never even met lives or dies…
Truth is, I could not care less about He Jin. What terrified me was the tidal wave of change his death would unleash across the realm.
Left alone, Dong Zhuo would depose Liu Bian (Emperor Shao) and enthrone Liu Xie (Emperor Xian), kicking open the gates of chaos. Traitors would flood the court; imperial authority would collapse. The Yellow Turban Rebellion had already turned the provinces into lawless free-for-alls; the great clans would rise, and the age of warlords would begin.
Of course this is a Three Kingdoms game—chaos is destiny. The real problem was that Xu Shao had branded me with the once-in-a-generation Month Evaluation of Chi-byung-nan-byung—“an incurable failure in peace, an incurable failure in chaos”—completely sealing off every path to advancement.
A White-Haired Failure whose total stats barely scrape twenty has only one way to stay alive: attach himself to a powerful lord. Yet I cannot even enter official service. Once the chaos begins, survival becomes a living hell.
But what if I could prevent He Jin’s death? Then Dong Zhuo never seizes power, and the age of chaos never arrives. A peaceful Han Dynasty means far fewer chances for me to die. And if I carry out Wang Yun and Chosun’s secret orders well enough, I might at least secure a foothold to keep myself breathing.
So my choice is simple. Save He Jin. Preserve the peace. Then obey Chosun’s every command until I become the stubborn, tenacious man she likes…
Several days had already passed since I entered the palace. I was beginning to look the part of a proper eunuch.
Woof! Woof!
Yu Hyeop was playing with her pet dog in the courtyard. Being imperial stock, the breed was nothing less than a Tibetan Mastiff—called Jangogyeon here—sent as tribute from Tibet and raised by her since it was a pup.
“Take that!”
She threw the ball; the mastiff fetched it. When she spoke with gravity she radiated imperial dignity, yet the moment she played she was just a child.
“Perhaps we could teach it something else?”
“What do you mean?”
The endless ball-throwing looked monotonous, so I approached. I had slipped a few strips of jerky into my sleeve as treats and began teaching “shake.”
“Paw! Paw!”
For a long while the dog showed no interest. Yet the breed is famously intelligent. After nearly two double-hours—half an hour—it finally offered its paw for the first time.
“How did you do that?”
“You give the treat the instant it does what you ask. Dogs are simple creatures.”
“I never thought of that. I assumed it did everything for my sake.”
“Forgive my presumption, but human rules do not apply to dogs. Your Majesty may own it, yet that does not mean you can command its every impulse.”
“…”
Had I overstepped? But Yu Hyeop listened with surprising seriousness. She had always fretted over being cooped up inside the palace walls.
“Is there anything else I should know?”
“Wandering only the courtyard will bore it. If its master walks it herself, it will be far happier. Dogs take joy in smelling the world.”
“And if it runs away?”
“We make a leash. While the thought is fresh, I will go to the Office of Animal Keepers and have one fashioned.”
“Before that, do you not have something for me?”
“…”
I rose carefully and slipped her the item so the other eunuchs would not see—the foot-warmer she had requested last time. Yu Hyeop smiled in satisfaction and tucked it into her sleeve. When she lifted her face again, sunlight caught her cheeks and turned them pink.
At the Office of Animal Keepers I ordered a leash. Explaining an object no one had ever heard of left me sweating for quite a while. By the time I emerged, the sky was already burning with sunset. Chosun had ordered me never to take my eyes off Yu Hyeop; I had been gone far too long.
Tap-tap-tap…
I was returning to the Palace of the Prince of Chenliu when I spotted a eunuch hurrying out of the kitchens.
“…?”
I had never seen him before. Plenty of eunuchs served Yu Hyeop, yet I had been sent on a special mission and made it my business to memorize every face. This one was not in my database. Uneasy, I stepped into the kitchen. Everyone was frantically preparing the meal.
“Who was that eunuch just now?”
“Who? We didn’t see anyone.”
Not a single person claimed to have noticed him. They might have been too absorbed in their work—yet dozens of palace women all missing the same man? Unless he had deliberately hidden his movements…
“Serving Her Majesty’s meal~”
A lilting voice announced the arrival of dishes that soon covered Yu Hyeop’s table. Something still felt wrong, as though I were missing a vital piece.
“What did the Office of Food Tasters say?”
“They reported no irregularities, Your Majesty.”
The senior eunuch assured her the food was safe and urged her to eat. Trusting him, Yu Hyeop lifted her chopsticks.
“Wait!”
I have no idea where the courage came from. The word burst out of me before I could think. Yu Hyeop and every eunuch turned in shock.
“What is it?”
“Perhaps… we should have it tasted for poison once more?”
“Why would you say such a thing?”
“I simply… have a bad feeling.”
“…”
Yu Hyeop’s eyes went wide. The senior eunuchs who already resented how quickly I had grown close to her looked openly displeased.
“Surely not…”
Yet experience is hard to fool. The eldest eunuch sensed danger in an instant, snatched a piece of meat from the platter, and flung it toward the Tibetan Mastiff.
Snap!
The dog happily seized the meat. Yu Hyeop shot to her feet in horror.
“N-no!!!”
“Gyaaaagh!!!!”
Her cry came too late. The mastiff convulsed in sudden agony, frothing at the mouth before collapsing. The eunuchs scattered in panic. I checked the dog at once. After a few final tremors its body went limp; the breath left it completely.
“I-it’s dead…”
“No… no… sob… sob…”
The discovery of poison in her food shocked Yu Hyeop less than the death of her dog. She rushed forward, flung her arms around the massive corpse, and wept for a long time. Emperor or not, she was still a child. Watching her clutch a body half her own size and sob so desolately, not a single person present kept dry eyes.
And so Yu Hyeop lost her only friend.
“Fortunate. You did well.”
Naturally Chosun appeared almost at once. Fortunate? Was that really the word she chose?
“Fortunate? You call it fortunate that Her Majesty nearly died of poison before the sun even set?”
“In the end your vigilance prevented a tragedy, did it not?”
“That’s cold even for you. Did you see her? Did you see Her Majesty hugging a dead puppy and crying her heart out?”
What kind of world produces such cruelty? That very morning I had been grinning at the thought of walking the dog with a brand-new leash. The leash was not even finished, and she had already lost the companion she had raised her entire life. On top of that she now knew her own life could be snuffed out at any moment. Even an ancient monarch is still a child; no child should have to bear this.
“Curious. Why are you so angry?”
“Should I just swallow it? Whose doing was this? That bitch the Empress Dowager, right?”
“Watch your tongue. She is the mother of the Son of Heaven.”
“Mother of the Son of Heaven—not the Son of Heaven herself. You sent me here knowing from the start that she would target Her Majesty. How long has this been going on?”
“…”
Chosun did not answer. Probably since the death of Empress Dowager Dong, the only person who had ever protected Yu Hyeop. What was so precious about a throne that they would devour a child for it? Her own son had long since become emperor, yet she still hated Yu Hyeop enough to want her dead.
“Your emotions are running high. That is dangerous for the work you must do.”
“I’ll do the work properly, so don’t worry. You’re the one who’s far too calm, Lady Chosun.”
“What choice do we have? My father and I are both subjects of the Son of Heaven. We merely honor the late Empress Dowager’s final request and aid His Majesty. We are permitted no other path.”
“Duty and the feelings that flare up in a human heart are two different things. Fine—say the Minister of Henan has no choice. But are you truly all right with this, Lady Chosun? Her Majesty faces death every single day. Do you feel nothing at all?”
“If one cannot master one’s emotions, one is no better than a beast. You would do well to remember that yourself.”
“…”
Ice-cold to the end—true to the ice-beauty reputation. Because the emperor is a living god, even hating his mother is forbidden to those who serve him.
But not to me. No matter how real it feels, this is still a game.
If someone decides to fuck with the game, I will fuck right back.