What You Mean to Me (3)
December 24th.
To some, it might just be Christmas Eve, but...
"So, when are you actually going to tell me?"
"You're so persistent. When you wake up, ta-da, tomorrow will be here! Wait, no. It's already past midnight, so the big reveal is in seven hours."
To me, it was a day I had been eagerly waiting for.
So intensely that my heart throbbed and ached, more than it ever would again.
"They said it might snow tomorrow. There's a good chance it'll be a White Christmas. Will you be okay with that?"
"Trying to set a trap like a total rookie? I am never telling you where we're going~"
"...Fine, I lose. I just need to be at your place by seven, right?"
"Honestly, you could come over right now."
"Then you're telling me to sleep over at your place."
"Or I could sleep over at yours!"
"As if. I'm going to sleep now, so I'm hanging up."
"See you soon!"
"Yeah."
The call ended with a soft chuckle.
I stared quietly at your photo on the screen before setting the phone down on the bed.
Then I stood up and walked over to my desk.
Rattle...
I opened a small drawer.
"...I don't care. It's the last time anyway."
Inside were things I wondered if I was even allowed to own...
Condoms and birth control pills, things I had always thought only adults could buy.
My parents had gone on a trip for their wedding anniversary.
Yujin's aunt and uncle had plans too, so they weren't home either.
Which meant...
"...Whatever. I'm just going to do it."
I squeezed my eyes shut and slammed the drawer shut.
My heart was pounding for so many different reasons...
There was no way I was going to get any sleep tonight.
"...Why do you look so pale?"
"Uh, I stayed up a bit late watching anime last night."
The promised time: 7:00 AM.
In the end, after tossing and turning, I had only managed two hours of sleep.
"Shouldn't you get more sleep?"
"No way! Do you have any idea how much we have planned for today?!"
"...Is that so?"
You let out a helpless chuckle.
Wearing a similar expression, I slowly let my eyes scan you from head to toe.
You always dressed neatly, but...
"Look at you, dressing up so nicely for a date with this nuna. Are you trying to seduce me?"
A coat over a turtleneck.
And even a baby perm.
I had naturally assumed you'd just wear a padded jacket, but showing up with a perm you'd never gotten in your entire life...
"My baby's all grown up."
Yeah. My heart skipped a beat despite myself.
"...Hey, I'm still in a growth spurt, okay? I'm gonna get even taller."
"Pfft—. That's not what I meant!"
"...Anyway, just saying."
"Sure, sure. But I really think we need to address this outfit. Isn't this a bit too obvious~?"
Flustered, I cracked a half-joke to hide my fluttering heart.
"Speaking of which, what's the meaning of this? Why are you still in your pajamas?"
Che. Consistently boring as always.
It's not like I wanted him to take it super seriously, but I at least expected a blush or a cute, flustered reaction.
...Notice that I put on makeup, you dummy. My hair isn't messy at all either.
Who's the one who should be pouting here?
...Still.
As the nuna here, shouldn't I be the bigger person?
I shrugged at you as you pointed at my clothes.
"Because this is today's proper OOTD."
"...Do you even know what OOTD means?"
"Of course I do. It stands for 'Ooh, Worth Tagging!', right?"
"...As if."
"Anyway, hurry up and come in!"
I grabbed your hand and pulled you into the hallway.
Diligent as ever, you went straight to the bathroom to wash your hands...
"...Seriously? This?"
"How is it? I put my heart and soul into picking this out."
Seizing the moment, I quickly handed you the pajamas I had prepared for today from my room.
"...Matching couple pajamas?"
"They were on Christmas sale."
"Ah, I see."
"What's this, what's this? Are you feeling self-conscious, Mr. Yujin? Is that it?"
"...So, Miss Yujin, what exactly is this mountain of things we have to do at home?"
Brushing off my teasing effortlessly, as always.
I took the coat you handed me and continued speaking.
"First, we are going to eat. And we're going to eat very well."
"I actually am hungry. What are we having?"
"A neat, traditional Korean meal. Chae Yujin's signature braised short ribs, pot-made rice, and cold noodles."
"...Is all that even possible for breakfast?"
"I'm Yuchae nuna~."
You put on a feigned look of shock.
You were so cute I wanted to take a picture, but I suppressed the urge and proudly flashed a V-sign instead.
"Go change your clothes. I'll get things ready."
"Anything I can help with?"
"Nope, I prepared everything yesterday! All I have to do is turn on the stove, so go on."
"...Okay, then."
Taking the pajamas, you nodded and headed into the guest room.
Meanwhile, I went to the kitchen and turned on the stove.
"...Does this look okay on me?"
"Totally. Let's take a picture together."
"...Wait, that's a bit..."
"Ahhh, I worked so hard making those braised short ribs~. Draining the blood yesterday, using tons of premium ingredients to make the sauce without any MSG~"
"...We're just taking a normal picture, right?"
"Of course we have to pose! Here, here, copy this exact pose."
"...Hey, even so, this is a bit..."
"Ahhh~ I simmered it for so long hoping you'd enjoy it~"
"...Damn."
In the end, unable to win against my whining, you gave in.
I had noticed it when you first walked in, and again when I took your coat, but...
He doesn't even like sweet food, yet his cologne is so sweet.
The exact opposite of me, who preferred citrus scents.
I thought about it all the time, but it really amazed me how our tastes could be so completely opposite.
Opposite as they were, though...
"Are you kidding me? Get closer!"
Yeah. If nothing else, I actually really liked this scent.
I should ask him later what cologne he uses.
"Wait, isn't this a couple pose?"
"Ahhh~ I even made homemade sweet rice punch for dessert~"
"...Stop using that. That's a foul."
"Ahhh~ But it's my choice~"
Right now, I just want to be like this with you.
"I don't think I'll even need lunch."
"Does that mean it was delicious?"
"Look at my stomach. It's completely stuffed."
Poke.
"...Don't poke it."
"Wait, how hard do you work out? Even when I poke it, there's zero belly fat."
"...I told you not to poke it."
Poke, poke~
We had a satisfying breakfast.
I was so happy hearing him say it was delicious throughout the meal that I had to actively struggle to keep my smile from beaming too wide.
"I'll do the dishes."
"Okey-dokey!"
"...Normally, wouldn't someone offer to do it at least once?"
"Tsk, tsk, tsk. This nuna is anything but normal, kiddo."
"...Fair point."
"Hurry up and finish~ I'll peel some tangerines~"
"Alright."
Chuckling helplessly, you headed to the kitchen.
Watching you wash dishes while wearing matching pajamas made me feel like we were living together.
...I hoped you felt the same way.
"I saved this movie just to watch it with you!"
"Didn't this come out back in spring or something?"
"Huh? How did you know?"
"You made such a huge fuss about it. Saying we absolutely had to watch Director Shinkai's new film."
Did I?
I tilted my head, not really remembering.
"Well, it's not like I was wrong! So, we're watching it, right?"
"We will. As long as you promise not to keep muttering next to me."
"Hey! It's not muttering, it's sharing my thoughts!"
"That's exactly what I'm telling you not to—"
"Tasty, right?"
"...The tangerine is good."
Following my lead, you obediently sat on the sofa.
I sat next to you, cradling the basket of peeled tangerines in my lap.
"I heard a ton of people watched this."
"If you like it, wanna watch the others too? They say it's part of a disaster trilogy~"
"Let's just watch this first. We have plenty of time."
"...Mmm. The tangerines are really good."
"Right?"
Stuffing his mouth with a tangerine I handed back to him as payback.
You chuckled softly and turned your head to look for the remote.
...I almost got caught blushing.
"I knew it! The tteokbokki made by our Yuseol is truly the best!"
"...I think the stuff you make is better."
"Nuh-uh! Have you eaten it more times than I have?"
"...Fine. Thanks for the compliment."
"Yup!"
This time, we cleaned up together.
While I washed the dishes, you wiped the table and put away the tangerine basket in the living room.
"Brushing your teeth is super important!"
"Are you telling me to go get my toothbrush?"
"Use a new one. Here."
"...Is that really necessary?"
"Just use it!"
After that, we went into the bathroom together to brush our teeth.
"Fufu. I won!"
"...Who on earth brushes their teeth for ten whole minutes?"
"But I won, didn't I?"
"...Hey, let me challenge you to a mouthwash battle later. Bring out the spiciest one."
"Oh dear, whatever shall we do~? We don't have mouthwash at our house~"
"I'll go buy some right now."
"Ahhh~ You're being so childish~"
"...We're doing a rematch tonight."
"Then you have to say, 'Please battle me once more, Yujin-nunim!'"
"...Damn. Childish."
It had been so long since we competed like little kids.
But I won. That was a very important point.
Don't ask what makes it important. It just is.
"Starting now, we are taking a one-hour nap. That was the true purpose of these pajamas."
"...Aren't you just sleepy yourself?"
"That is also true."
"At least you're honest."
"Of course! Yujins don't tell lies."
"Then I'll be honest too. I'm not sleepy."
"So what?"
"...At least you're honest."
I brought out blankets from the guest room and spread them on the living room floor.
In my heart, I wanted to sleep in the same bed, but I had to hold back for now.
"...Why am I suddenly sleepy?"
"Fufu. That's because I played relaxing sleep music and sprayed pillow mist."
"...I can't believe I'm falling asleep in a place like this."
"You've been infected by me."
"...Bring me coffee..."
"Time for our Yujin-i to go night-night, okay?"
It was our house's prized, expensive wool blanket.
Plus, having denied even a single sip of coffee to someone who practically lived on caffeine, your eyelids grew heavy in less than ten minutes.
"Good night."
"..."
Finally, your eyes closed completely.
I listened to the soft music flowing through the room, and then...
"...You're asleep, right?"
"..."
"If you're not asleep, speak up now. If I catch you pretending, I'm going to pounce on you."
"..."
"...Silence means consent, so pouncing on you is totally legal now...?"
Receiving no answer, I slowly pushed myself up.
Yeah. Looking at your face, you were definitely fast asleep.
"...You look so cute when you sleep."
It was a handsome face.
Yet the word 'cute' slipped out naturally.
I had sworn not to touch him during the day, but seeing his gentle, defenseless face made dark, mischievous desires swell up inside me.
I couldn't help it. It had been almost a year since we spent time together like this.
It was the first time in so long that I got to share normal, everyday moments with you.
So, wanting to kiss you...
and wanting to do all sorts of other things... was truly unavoidable.
"...Now that I think about it, it's so unfair. I only slept two hours and can't sleep because my heart is pounding, but you, who slept just fine, are fast asleep?!"
Even though I worked so hard to set all this up...!
"Hmph."
"Uuu..."
Pouting, I pinched and pulled your cheek.
Fast asleep, you suddenly let out a cute groan, offering your own little resistance.
"Seriously so cute."
I spent time teasing you in all sorts of ways—pinching your lips, pressing the tip of your nose.
"I'm gonna show you this later~"
I recorded all of it on video.
"...I want to tease you more, but..."
Haaawwwn...
Letting out a long yawn, I checked the time.
2:00 PM.
I thought, It's already two? But it was fine.
Even if I fell into a deep sleep, when I opened my eyes again...
You would be right beside me.
"Yuseol, you're dreaming of me, right?"
Naturally, no answer came back.
Chuckling softly, I set an alarm, and then...
"...I like you."
Mwah.
I left light kisses on your cheek and lips.
Mwah, mwah...
...Doing it more than ten times is a secret.
· · ·
"...I had a nightmare."
"Huh?"
"I dreamed that leeches were sticking all over my body."
"...Hey!!"
"Wait, why?!"
"Because just imagining it grossed me out, why?!"
"Then why are you hitting me...?! Hey, not there?!"
"Pow! Pow!"
"They're showing Kevin so much just because it's Eve."
"Right?"
In winter, the sun sets early.
When we opened our eyes, the sun was already gone, and we faced each other with oily faces.
"Since when did South Korea become an oil-producing country?"
"Look who's talking."
Smirking, I folded up the blankets.
"Don't you have anything for dry skin?"
"Just apply the oily skin lotion dryly."
"...What a Solomon."
We amicably took turns washing our faces.
"Why doesn't a guy named Hawaiian eat Hawaiian pizza?"
"That wasn't even invented in Hawaii, you know."
"Nom nom~ It tastes great to me~"
"Then eat my pineapples for me."
"What if I say, 'Please, nuna~'?"
"...Please, nuna."
"No way! Picky eating is bad!"
"..."
For dinner, we ordered pizza and pasta and watched variety shows together.
It was fun.
Going out to play was nice too, but what I truly wanted was to spend a day like this with you.
Just like we always did...
Simply being together like this was happiness.
That's why...
"...It's snowing."
At 11:55 PM, after finishing brushing our teeth and returning to the living room together.
Gently pulling back the curtains that had been drawn all day, you smiled softly and spoke.
"...You're right. It's snowing."
I stood beside you.
I looked at the same place you were looking.
The night view created by countless city lights.
It was the familiar scenery of our apartment complex. Only now, snow was falling vividly over it.
Nothing about it was particularly special, but...
"It's a White Christmas."
Being with you.
Having you by my side.
That single fact turned ordinary life into a dream.
It made me think that even if it were a dream, I wouldn't care.
And if it were a dream, it made me pray never to wake up.
That's why—.
"...This will be an Eve like no other."
Ringing so clearly it felt close enough to touch my ears...
This heart of mine, pounding so violently it made my whole body ache.
It was shouting to me over and over that this moment was reality, not a dream.
December 24th.
To some, it might just be Christmas Eve, but...
"...It was the best day ever, one I'll never forget."
To me, it was a day I had been eagerly waiting for.
A day so happy I wished time would stop right here.
"Me too."
And December 25th.
To some, it might be a happy Christmas, but...
"Merry Christmas, Yujin-a."
To me, it was a day I never wanted to face...
A day I wished would never come in my entire life.
"...Yeah. Yujin-a, Merry Christmas."
Today, I part ways with you.