The Genius Dog's First Negotiation
The great axis of evil, the ruler of this other world, was walking toward me. Her beige, frizzy short hair was neatly secured by a black headband with white frills, and the ruler’s face as she looked down at me was the perfect expression of a mesugaki, as if to say, "What is this piece of shit mutt?"
Most of all, she was incredibly short compared to Angela. She didn't even look like she reached 150cm, and the high-heeled flats she wore suggested she had a complex about her height. On top of that, she was flat-chested. A board... Even though she wore a neat maid outfit that might make you think of her as just a petite maid at first glance, the aura she exuded was completely different.
This woman. The head maid of the great Esper Barony... Angela's superior. The strongest in the world. Was I supposed to be acknowledged by this woman?
The woman who walked right up to my nose gave a twisted smile, looked me over from head to toe for a long time, and then let out a "Heh heh" laugh.
"Did you say your name was Tommy? You understand human speech even though you're a mutt? Really?"
Her husky, low-pitched voice, so different from the appearance of a cute, short, flat-chested maid, made me swallow hard. This voice, reeking of greed, reminded me of a Jar of Desire. She was definitely a dragon obsessed with money or rare items. This head maid was clearly a polymorphed dragon...!
I answered immediately.
"Woof!"
"That's right. That's right. Who's a good boy. Come here."
As she held out her hand, I dashed over, licked her hand like a madman, and bowed my head. I had to show proof of submission. If I messed up here, I might be separated from my owner, Angela, forever.
"Aigoo. So cute. You're such a good boy, it's a shame you ended up in the wrong house and are suffering. Good boy..."
Hm? The start was better than I thought? Could I just breeze through this if I played my cards right? Was the 1vs7 20,000-kill Zergling bloodline just a figment of my imagination? The head maid, who had been petting my head, grabbed my leash and tried to take me to a small wooden cage in the corner of the room. I remembered. Angela had brought me into this mansion in a similar wooden box.
Damn it, of course. The moment I go in there, it's over. I ran around the room like a maniac, resisting desperately.
"Whine!!!! Whine-ing!! Whine!!!"
"Uh, uh. Shit. Why is he acting like this all of a sudden? Does he know he's being sold off?"
"Grrrrrrrrrr!!"
"You little shit."
The head maid seemed to have a foul temper; she raised her fist.
"If you don't want to die, get in there quietly."
"Bark! Bark! Bark!!! Bark! Bark!"
"You little mutt!!! Where do you think you're barking!!! It cost me 20 coppers just to buy you! 20 coppers! Do you think 20 coppers is pocket change?! Huh?! As long as I'm alive, the price of a mutt in the great Esper Barony cannot be 20 coppers! With 20 coppers, I could boil 20 servings of dog meat soup! You damn thing!!!"
The head maid pulled on my leash, dragging me this way and that. But my desperate resistance, fueled by the fear of death, was more than enough to negate the force of the leash held by the short, flat-chested head maid. After a frantic chase that lasted several minutes in the large room, I was cornered.
"Hah. Hah. Hah."
"Whew. Whew... Shit, what kind of dog-shit situation is this from the morning. This mutt. Does he really understand human speech? Hmm... Then it's a deal where I'd make a profit even after receiving silver coins... Angela really has an eye for things, heh heh heh...!"
The expression on the cute-faced head maid changed into one so steeped in filthy greed that it was hard to believe she was human.
"I'll write 20 coppers in the ledger and pocket the rest... You little mutt... come here... shit..."
-Clack!
Grabbing a paperweight from the desk and holding it like a club, she looked just like a dog-meat seller eyeing a stray dog while sitting in a blue truck. The devilish head maid slowly narrowed the perimeter... I had no more strength to run, no more corners to hide in. Angela's words came to mind. That I had to prove my ability. That I had to prove my talent as a genius dog! Only then would I not be sold off!
"Woof woof!! Woof woof woof!!!"
But damn it, I understand human speech, but I can't *speak* human speech!!!! Damn it all!!! How am I supposed to communicate if I can't talk! How can I have a conversation with a crazy woman who only thinks about selling me off!!!
"Ugh, noisy. Hiyah!"
A club larger than my body was swung, and I barely dodged it. Unlike her violent personality, is she not a martial artist? But there was no guarantee there would be a next time. Was I really going to be beaten and sold off after all?!? If so, wouldn't it be better to just go quietly instead of getting beaten?
Countless thoughts flashed through my mind... and something occurred to me. A genius dog. What is a genius dog? It is an existence beyond the understanding of its master. A being beyond human common sense.
[Tommy. Prove your ability.]
Angela's face appeared in my mind. Whether I become a true Doge or a JinDoge here, I don't know. But, just as Elon Musk, who pushed Doge to the moon, did, I could boast of the ambition to launch a rocket to Mars. Only by surpassing the understanding of ordinary people can one be recognized as a genius. That's right. I could only survive if I surpassed the understanding of the money-obsessed head maid in front of me. I heard my price was 20 coppers; to prove to this evil devil, who wanted to sell me for silver coins, that I was worth more than that...!
As a single gambling move occurred to me, I decided to put it into action immediately.
"Heh heh heh. There is no next time, you mutt!"
The wooden club was raised. Seeing that, I closed my eyes tightly, stood up from the corner, approached the head maid, and looked up at her with a tear-filled expression. It was the expression of a dog abandoned by the master who had raised it for 10 years. The devil's face distorted..!
"W-what! Why are you looking at me like that all of a sudden."
"Whine..."
"Get in! Get in there!"
"Woof..."
The head maid pointed at the cage with her club. I pretended to succumb to her words and walked toward the wooden cage on my own. I entered the wooden cage, pulled the entrance shut with my mouth, and turned the latch with my foot to lock it.
-Click!
And then I sat quietly inside, panting.
-Thud.
Silence followed. In that silence, the sound of the wooden club falling to the floor could be heard.
"......Huh?"
Something. A voice from the head maid, sounding completely drained of energy, unlike before, reached my ears.
Chloe stood there, stunned, shocked by the sight of what looked like a suckling puppy entering the cage on its own and locking the door. Suddenly, her conversation with Angela came to mind.
Chloe felt uneasy, too. It was Angela. One of the top ten maids of the worst class at the Imperial Maid Academy. A talent among talents who could handle everything in this damn Esper Barony if she weren't there. That was why she had entrusted her with finding a familiar for the second young lady who was to become a mage, but everything she brought back didn't mesh with the young lady. She had only brought back "duds." She was tired of hearing "This time is different," but... what was this mutt?
The small puppy was hanging its head inside the wooden cage, tears welling up in its eyes as if it were completely dejected. It really looked like a person crying out of sadness. A dog that understands speech. Even because of the artifact around its neck. This was... 'Beyond the scope of ordinary understanding.'
And. It resisted as if it really didn't want to be sold, then finally gave up and 'on its own' 'directly' entered the wooden cage and locked the door? A puppy? Does that make sense?
"Gulp."
Saliva swallowed itself. A dog, no, a puppy that understands human speech. She heard it was just a mutt, not a familiar, after testing it for the second young lady. But if it had this much potential...
'It's not something that can usually be sold off cheaply.'
Was it an illusion that the eyes of Chloe, the head maid, momentarily turned into yellow gold coins? Chloe picked up the paperweight, put it back in its place, and stood in front of the wooden cage with the sound of her heels clicking.
"You, did you say your name was Tommy?"
"Woof."
"...You understand human speech? No, are you really able to understand?"
"Woof."
"Barking once meant yes... Good. Then come out of there."
At that, the black puppy stood up immediately, took its paw out of the cage, turned the latch, opened the door, and came out. Then, it sat quietly in front of Chloe and looked up at her.
"Oh my god."
Chloe's mouth dropped open, and she rubbed her eyes several times with her petite fists as if she couldn't believe it. "Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. What is this? Really?"
"Whine..."
Chloe, who had quickly crouched down to the dejected puppy, stroked its head. "How many coppers, no, how many gold coins is this worth? My god. I didn't recognize someone as precious as you. That blockhead Angela was actually a genius of investment. To think that the money I wasted trying to buy a familiar would be recovered like this. *Slurp.*"
Chloe, who had saliva dripping from her mouth like a dog, wiped it with a handkerchief and looked at the puppy with excited eyes.
"Your name is Tommy?"
"Woof...!"
"G...Good... Then... Sit."
The puppy sits.
"Stand! Lie down! Stand! Roll over! Roll! Spin around! No, shit, does this make sense!!!!!!!!!!!"
Extremely excited by the tricks of the genius puppy that performed every command immediately, Chloe exclaimed "No," "This is real," "I..." one after another in admiration!!!
"A treasure... a treasure has rolled into this... shitty Esper Barony... *sob*..."
Chloe eventually even shed tears. Ah. How many gold coins would this puppy be worth? Thinking that all the money she had borrowed to solve the goblin subjugation problem, which had gone to hell this time, would be paid off and she could deliciously pocket the change, she floated away in happy imagination.
Maid Angela. The maid I taught myself... excellent. Excellent. A puppy that brings in gold coins after being bought for coppers! "Heh heh... heh heh heh heh...." An ugly, greedy smile that she couldn't hide appeared on Chloe's lips. She stroked the puppy repeatedly and then hugged it and rubbed her cheeks against it.
"My piggy bank. My emergency fund. My gold coins. Heh heh heh. Our treasure. You said your name was Tommy?"
"Woof."
"You bark cutely, too. *Smooch! Smooch! Smooch!*"
Tommy, the small puppy, also flicked his tongue and licked her cheeks and lips at Chloe, who was kissing him repeatedly because he was too cute. A genius dog with full marks for charm...! Chloe, her face flushed red, swallowed the saliva on her lips with her tongue and panted.
"Whew... whew... adorable... don't worry, I'll never sell you. Okay?"
"Woof!"
"Yes, yes. Tommy. My introduction was late. I am Chloe, the head maid of the great Esper Barony? You must remain such a smart genius dog in the future, okay? Do you understand? If anyone bothers you anywhere, run over and tell on them. I'll slice them in half."
"Woof!!!"
"Hehe. Good, good."
Chloe grabbed Tommy's leash and left the room. The most important things should always be kept by one's side. Especially money or wallets. 'Since he understands human speech... I'll think about it only in my head... First, I'll spread rumors to the merchant guilds and noble families... I'll make him as famous as possible and sell him off when his price is high! I feel sorry for Angela, but... heh heh heh. There's no merchant who can resist money...'
Chloe couldn't hide her joyful heart. A maid came running urgently from the end of the hallway.
"Ah, Head Maid-nim. The Head Butler-nim says to come quickly."
"Understood. Is everyone in the garden?"
"Yes."
With a lighter step than usual, she headed toward the garden.