The Great Crisis of the Esper Barony
The Esper Barony is facing a massive crisis. Katrina, the eldest of the three daughters of the Esper family, is on her way back from a meeting at the neighboring Saxen Viscounty. However, it is highly unusual for a head maid—who is responsible for the 24-hour care of a young lady and all administrative affairs—to have returned ahead of time in the dead of night, long after the city gates have been locked.
Click. Click. The sound of heels echoes through the hallway. Upon standing before the door, Angela pulls a hand mirror from her pocket, adjusts her glasses, and smooths her hair. She meticulously straightens her uniform, takes one final deep breath, and knocks. She knows she is about to endure the nagging of a deranged, stingy, hysterical head maid.
Knock, knock, knock.
"Head Maid Chloe. It’s Angela."
"Come in."
A voice, unusually low for a woman, responds. Angela opens the door. This entire spacious room is Head Maid Chloe’s office. Stacks of documents and parchment are organized with mathematical precision on the bookshelves, and the sharp scent of ink stings the nose. In the center, sitting in a large chair behind a wide desk, is a woman bathed in the morning sunlight streaming through a large window, as if wearing a halo. The head maid is possessed, frantically scribbling away at pending work with a quill that is clearly well-worn, its cheap feathers sparse and falling out.
Even though Angela, whom she summoned, has entered, Chloe does not say a word, remaining focused on her work. Chloe has short, beige hair that looks dry and brittle from poor health. Her face, which looks mature despite her short stature, shows deep worry around her eyes, and her delicate features, while cute, seem to sag as if lacking energy. ...There is a strange, decadent beauty to her. She looks like a modern office lady (OL) exhausted by the grind. She is, in her own right, a beauty—if you ignore the fact that her breasts are incredibly flat. As the head maid of the Esper Barony, this is a fact she finds deeply uncomfortable.
Chloe finishes writing, places the parchment into an envelope, seals it with wax, and then stares openly at Angela’s large, well-shaped, and voluptuous breasts for a long moment. Or rather, because of her short height, she is looking *up* at them. As an inexplicably uncomfortable silence stretches out, Angela speaks first.
"Good morning, Head Maid. You arrived early, aren't you tired..."
"Cut the crap."
Angela clicks her tongue inwardly at the sharp dismissal of her pleasantries.
"...I heard you summoned me."
"Yes. I heard you’re raising a dog?"
Smirk.
A deep, contradictory crease forms between Chloe’s small, elegant brows, and her smile stretches all the way to her ears. With her eyes narrowed into slits, she looks like a madwoman. It is the precursor to the head maid’s signature nagging offensive. Angela thinks that if the witches in storybooks were to cast a curse, they would surely smile just like that.
"My god, do you have any idea how tight the budget is for this failing estate? You think you can afford to raise a dog just because you made a little extra money with a different contract than the others?"
"......."
'Is it a verbal assault from the start? Today is going to be a long day.'
Click. Click. Click. Chloe rises from her chair and approaches Angela with heavy, aggressive footsteps.
"And you bought a dog for yourself with the money given to buy a familiar for the second young lady’s academy entrance? That girl is the precious financial lifeline—no, the one who might actually feed this pathetic estate—after awakening a rare and valuable magical talent! Do coins fall from the sky? And 20 coppers for a dog? How many sacks of flour could that buy? Or rather, through which hole did you embezzle those 20 coppers? Was it the bottom hole? Or the top one? Why aren't you answering? Should I lift your skirt right now and check? And I heard from the underlings that you brought back some mutt no one has ever heard of? You said it looked smart? Are you playing games with me?"
As the husky voice, reminiscent of grinding metal, pours out in a rapid-fire burst that doesn't match her small frame, Angela’s face stiffens.
"I apologize."
Seeing this, Head Maid Chloe wipes away her savage smile and adopts a sinister expression.
"Does an apology end it? Maid Angela?"
Maintaining a lewd smile, Chloe uses a small finger to poke and lift the underside of Angela’s voluptuous breasts, which are positioned right at the height of her own crown. Chloe’s small finger sinks into the large breasts wrapped in the maid uniform, and it is unfortunately Chloe, the flat-chested one, who winces at the weight of the breasts pressing against her knuckles.
"Didn't I tell you over and over? Don't spend money like an idiot. 20 coppers is enough for four rounds at the brothel down the street, so use these big tits to earn some money instead. I’m seriously pissed off."
"......"
Angela’s mouth stays shut at the personal attack laced with shame. Chloe lets out a bitter smile, pulls her finger away from the breast, and chuckles.
"Why? Are you offended?"
"No."
"Then are you annoyed? Do you want to die? Do you want to be fired? Is 20 coppers a joke to you, Maid Angela? Angela, why do you earn money?"
"......."
"I’m asking you why you earn it."
Under Chloe’s cruel, repetitive interrogation, Angela’s mouth slowly opens.
"To pay off my debts... and for my parents back home..."
"Then why is someone like that wasting 20 coppers?"
"I apologize."
"I can deduct 20 coppers from your weekly wage, right?"
Upon hearing that, Chloe clasps her hands together and beams, as if she had been waiting for this.
".......No."
Grind.
At the end of Angela’s words, a distinct sound of grinding teeth is heard, and Head Maid Chloe’s face begins to flush red.
"....Then ....you...!!! You!!! Do you see 20!!!! Coppers!!! As a piece of shit!!! Kiiyaaaaaaaah!!!!!"
The stingy, hysterical witch finally exploded over the 20 coppers wasted on a mutt.
"Eeeek!!!!!"
Someone passing by outside the door must have heard Chloe’s scream, as a terrified voice rings out. *Oh, Lord. Please save this woman who is obsessed with money.* Angela clasps her hands together in her heart, offers a prayer, and bows her head.
"I apologize, Head Maid."
"Hoo... hoo... shit, go get me some water."
"Yes."
Angela hands the water cup from the desk to Chloe, who had just been screaming. Chloe gulps it down like an old man, lets out a "Kya!", and wipes her mouth with her sleeve. The power of a single glass of water was immense! The red-faced, crazed woman is gone, and Chloe returns to her usual gentle expression. She walks to the desk, slams the cup down, and gestures to Angela.
"Maid Angela. What is one of the things I tell you over and over?"
"Do not waste money."
Chloe’s face crumples.
"No, shit."
"...You said it was 'rewarding the good and punishing the bad'."
"Ahem. Right. I know you’re the best worker in this mansion, Angela. I know you have a lot of work to do in my stead. But whether it’s a small task or a big one, you have to take the shit you deserve to take cleanly so your heart is clear when you work next time."
"Yes."
"Right. Keep that in mind when you manage the ones below you in the future. I treat our hard-working Maid Angela the same as I treat those who don't work well. Remember that. If you’re going to sit in a high position, it’s one of two things. Either you’re rotten to the core, or you’re fucking clean like me."
"Yes. I will keep that in mind."
It was truly words that became bone and flesh. Angela has worked at the Esper Barony for five years. During those five years, she learned more practical things under the harsh Head Maid Chloe than she ever did at the Maid Academy, so she respects and admires Chloe, the Esper estate’s greatest "crazy dog" and charisma incarnate.
"Anyway, do well from now on... I called you in from the morning because we are truly fucked right now. Look at this."
Chloe pulls a piece of parchment from her bosom and hands it to Angela. Angela’s expression stiffens as she takes it.
"This is..."
"That’s right. We’re ruined."
Head Maid Chloe leans back in her chair and lets out a deep sigh.
"We have to crush this before the Imperial investigators are dispatched."
A heavy atmosphere begins to flow in the head maid’s office over a single light piece of parchment. Angela, having read the documents on the desk, asks a question to Chloe, who is sighing repeatedly.
"How did the meeting at the Saxen estate go? Is support coming?"
"Even though the young lady bowed her head and begged~ and begged... they said they couldn't help us. What’s funnier is that they’re in the same boat..."
Chloe hands over another piece of parchment.
"What? Goblins usually appear during the harvest season... but there are still three months left, aren't there?"
"That’s why, shit, we’re truly fucked. I checked with my sources in Saxen, and it’s not that they’re refusing to help to play hard-to-get like usual; it seems like goblins that have truly gone mad are swarming in. It’s a disaster. A disaster."
Slurp. Chloe pours cold water into a teacup and hands it to Angela, answering her. As Angela drinks it, Chloe speaks in a cold, ruthless voice.
"And we’re in an even more serious situation than them."
Chloe snaps a piece of parchment open and slams it onto the desk, and Angela’s eyes sink gloomily.
"I received this early this morning. It’s not just one or two adventurers and merchants; a whole lot of them have gone missing. If we don't solve this at the estate level quickly, the Guild is going to raise hell, and then it’s only a matter of time before the Imperial investigators are dispatched, asking why we can't even handle something like this."
Imperial investigators! Chloe shudders at the mere mention, and Angela flinches as well.
"Angela. If we can't subjugate them before then, we’re truly fucked. We’re already scraping by, spending money we don't have to send the second young lady to the academy, and if the estate falls into chaos because we can't even catch some goblin bastards, I don't know how far the criticism of being the 'greatest barony behind the Carnel Empire' will fall."
As Chloe speaks in a serious tone, Angela, who has emptied her teacup and fallen into thought, opens her mouth.
"What about the Baron?"
"I told him as soon as he arrived."
Chloe shrugs.
"[That’s work for the underlings, so handle it yourselves.] He’s getting on in years, so he probably doesn't care anyway. He’s already ruined the estate enough, and since he lost the territory war he started against Saxen, the main family has also been left with nothing. He must have realized that he didn't just grow old for nothing. He realized he doesn't have the talent to be a leader. He’s just a collateral branch of a Duke’s family who lived off the sword from the start, anyway."
Chloe, giggling and insulting the ruined estate and her employer, seems to have truly lost her mind, to the point where you wouldn't believe she is the head maid in charge of a mansion’s internal affairs.
"On top of that, if this goblin subjugation fails and our Baron is removed from office, he can just run back to the main family. It’s a bother either way. So what happens to us?"
Chloe draws her thumb across her throat.
"We all get fired. I don't know who would rehire servants and maids from the Empire’s worst, most pathetic barony, regardless of their experience."
"........!!!!!!!!!!!"
Angela’s expression turns pale. She knows all too well what that means. However, such urgent situations were moments that had always visited this pathetic, great Esper Barony. Angela swallows hard and looks at Chloe—the "crazy dog" head maid and all-purpose troubleshooter who has always overcome every worst-case scenario—with eyes full of anticipation, and asks a question.
"Head Maid. Is there a solution?"
Seeing her disciple, Angela, ask the question, Chloe, the master, nods as if it were obvious.
"Of course there’s a way. Generally, money solves everything. That stuck-up Saxen side decided to raise the goblin subjugation reward to 1 copper per two heads, with the Lord putting his name on it. If we offer double that—1 copper per head—the suckers who are obsessed with money will come and put out the fire for us. Of course, it’ll cost more if you include the hush money for the Guild."
"......?"
Angela almost nodded at Chloe’s simple and clear solution. But where would the money come from in this great Esper Barony? As if answering her disciple’s questioning gaze, Chloe’s hand opens the desk drawer and pulls out a leather pouch.
Clink!
"So, that’s why."
Chloe, having placed the coin pouch on the desk, smiles brightly, leaving it next to the letter.
"I took out a loan."
"...Why did you bring that up? No, why a loan? Is there even a loan available for our Baron’s financial situation...?"
"Hey, you know."
"........."
They say that under a corrupt employer, there is a corrupt puppet manager.
"This isn't our weekly wage, it’s our monthly salary."
"Mon...thly salary?"
"Yes, three months' worth."
Angela’s face turns deathly pale, and she finally drops her cup. The evil head maid smiles broadly and opens her mouth.
"Maid Angela. This is an emergency loan that can be repaid interest-free in 3 days."
"Yes."
"If we can't solve it with our own strength within 3 days, we’re going to hand it over to the Adventurer’s Guild with the subjugation request. It’s a massive advance on our pay. On top of that, 1 copper per goblin head until the work is done. Unlimited."
"Yes."
"So, if you don't want to end up on the street, stop eating breakfast and gather everyone in front of the garden. In the Baron’s name. Oh, and go catch the bastard who took sick leave. I already caught the one on vacation on the way here."
"Yes..."
"Go on. I’ll be down soon, too."
As the order is given and Angela answers in a trembling voice, just before she steps out the door, a frost-like final remark is heard.
"Oh, right. That dog. Bring it to me so I can get a refund. Bring the dog first. Dog first. What kind of mutt did you buy for 20 coppers? *Sigh.*"
"Ah...."
"You clearly got attached to it, so I’m doing it for you. Be grateful."
"...I under...stand."
It was the moment futility settled into Angela’s eyes.