Kelly, Leader of the Strongest Mercenary Corps
We grabbed a spot in the corner of a big tavern and chugged our beers. Chewing on some nuts, I glanced over at the group table. The mercenaries were yapping away noisily, wetting their glasses left and right.
Red Dragon Mercenary Corps. They had the most registered mercs around, and when you pooled their strength, they were rated the best. One of the few outfits that really shone in the war from my previous loop. Even though it hasn't gone down yet, they get nothing but rave reviews.
“Why the Red Dragon Mercenary Corps?”
“Gotta chat with their leader real quick.”
“Hey, you...”
Elinne spotted the Red Dragon's leader and shot me a glare. Kinda like that thing Ray does all the time.
“No way you're jealous?”
“What the fuck. You goddamn dick-for-brains.”
“Not like I'm approaching her with that in mind?”
Of course, if it happened, it'd be great. Her name's Kelly. Darker shade of red hair than Charlotte's. Towering height like mine, tough yet gorgeous looks, and a body bursting with vitality—who wouldn't wanna tap that? But I wasn't seriously gunning for her yet. I knew how to set priorities.
“Still, next time I hope you are jealous.”
“Why the hell would I?”
“First off, let's move seats over there.”
The mercs' group bash was hitting its stride. Right in the thick of it, Kelly hoisted a massive mug of beer and bellowed,
“Drink up, drink up! Days like today with fat stacks of coin? You just pound whatever's in front of ya!”
This northern region was crawling with monsters. Not just bottom-feeders like goblins—plenty of high-value upper-tier beasts too. Looked like they'd snatched up quests to hunt 'em down and cashed in big. Plus, all those monster parts they'd carved off? Those'd fetch a nice chunk of change too.
I planted myself right in front of Kelly as she boozed it up rowdily with her crew.
“Huh?”
“Who the fuck are you?”
The mercs flanking Kelly eyed me like I was fresh meat. They looked pretty badass, I'll give 'em that.
“Kelly, I'd like a word.”
“Quest? File it proper at the desk.”
Kelly waved me off like I was yesterday's trash. But I'd come prepared.
“I'll give you Alphomai poison brew.”
“What?”
Finally, Kelly's eyes lit up different. Guess I looked a little more interesting now?
“You got that?”
Kelly was a total booze hound. She'd shell out fortunes for a single rare bottle, chasing down anything precious. Especially Alphomai poison brew—something she'd never tasted in her life. That toxic grass was rarer than hen's teeth even in demon turf. Aged as booze for about a century, the poison all turns to pure alcohol. And man, the taste? Out of this world.
How'd I score some? Eh, no biggie. Elis handed it over as one of her “rare treats.” Succubus princesses really do have the good shit.
“Where'd you snag it?”
“Hunted magibeasts with some hunters way back. Snatched it off a demon.”
Couldn't ask for a better cover story. No one around to call bullshit anyway—might as well ride it out.
“You offering?”
“Damn right.”
“Then let's move somewhere quieter. Too damn loud here.”
“Fine by me. Way too rowdy for business talk. Hey! I'll be right back!”
“Got it!”
...
“Right, Daron was it? You a drinker?”
“Not on your level, Kelly.”
We'd shifted to the tavern next door. Snagged a corner booth, slipped the staff a tip to let us crack open our outside booze. Threw in some snacks and light drinks too. Elinne deserved a sip or two.
Me and Kelly passed the Alphomai brew back and forth. I took the first pull to prove it was safe—only then did she swig.
“Fuck, this is the real-deal Alphomai.”
“You tried it before?”
“Nah, but one taste and you know it's no ordinary swill. Gotta be Alphomai poison brew. Kah! Gonna savor this shit. Cheers again, asshole.”
“Hell yeah.”
We clinked once more. Watching her geek out drove home just how rare the stuff was. Fresh Alphomai grass was a bitch to find even in demon lands—this was century-aged brew. Insanely potent kick, but with a unique flavor that hooked you hard.
“You sure you're good solo? Hate to say it, but you're coming off cocky as fuck.”
“What, wanna fuck me?”
“Pfft!”
Elinne, nursing her weak brew beside me, damn near spat it out. Coming from a merc life vet like Kelly, it wasn't weird—but goddamn direct.
“Fuck you?”
“Any stud stronger than me, anytime. You got the balls?”
Kelly flashed a booze-satisfied grin and straight-up challenged me.
Kelly was a woman with her own code. And she was strong enough to back it up. She seemed on par with Ariana Katrin skill-wise, but in a real scrap? Ariana'd probably eat shit.
This was the leader of the top merc corps.
“That's why you're still a virgin, huh.”
“The fuck? How'd you know I'm cherry?”
“How many guys you figure are stronger than you?”
“Fair. There are some tough bastards out there, but they all come up short against me.”
Jed that prick would lose by a hair too.
“Someday, I'll hand my pussy over to the man who beats me—and take his seed. Call it my simple dream?”
Merc talk, all casual as hell. Fucking Kelly would probably feel like raw, no-holds-barred pounding. Kinda like Set, maybe...
“You been eyeing my tits this whole time?”
“Yup.”
“Ha, check out this bold motherfucker.”
Any other chick would've slapped me silly, but Kelly ate it up. She was the same way—hated the roundabout bullshit, preferred a straight shot.
“Truth? You're my type. Solid build, face hits right. Personality's clicking too?”
“Oh yeah?”
“But you're weaker. I ain't moaning and bitching under some scrub.”
“Too bad. Was thinking of making a move if I could.”
“Knew it. I am fuckable.”
Anyone overhearing would've pegged us for childhood sweethearts grown up together. We'd just met, but no awkward bullshit—we were thick as thieves already. Elinne looked straight-up flabbergasted by our chat.
“Still, you could just rail the chick next to ya. Looks fragile, but damn, top-shelf pretty for a girl? Shit, her rack's bigger than mine—shocked the hell outta me.”
Elinne was still rocking that cleavage-baring getup I'd bought her earlier that day.
“So what's she? Hooker?”
“No way!”
Elinne barked it out. Guess the outfit sparked the wrong idea. The haughty prodigy archmage getting clocked as a whore.
“Nah. My fuck buddy.”
“Girlfriend?”
“Working on it, but her heart's not there yet. Doesn't turn down a taste of my dick though.”
“Hey... hey! Eek.”
I casually yanked Elinne's tit hard as she sat there. ...She was getting worked up from us talking about her? Nipple was rock-hard.
“Oho. So you're packing confidence? Figured with a catch like that. Dick huge or what?”
“Big ones your jam?”
“Better than small, right? Ah, if some guy's gonna fuck me, might as well have the fattest cock going.”
“Never seen one bigger than mine.”
“...Bullshit artist.”
True story.
“This fucker's dick really that huge?”
“D-Dunno.”
“How's it hit? Dying to know. Better than booze?”
“Way better than booze, but... ugh. What am I even...”
Elinne's face went beet red as she clammed up. Kelly, bored with her now, shoved another cheers my way.
“Clink! Bottoms up! You can drink, man!”
“You too—real boozer rep.”
We poured for each other, glasses smashing. Down the hatch. Haa. Harsh as fuck.
...Truth was, I wasn't some booze monster. Without Elis's alcohol decomposer pills, I'd be spinning right now. This shit packed a wallop.
“Phew~ Rare booze hits different.”
“Then...”
I topped her off and cut to the chase.
“Time to get serious?”
“Gonna fuck me? Nope. You're weaker. Sigh... Shame though. My type, big dick too—kinda wanna try.”
“Haha, nah.”
Good intel on her kinks and fuck conditions... but couldn't lose sight of the goal.
“It's about the disaster hitting this duchy soon.”
“...The fuck?”
Kelly blinked through her buzz, sobering up a touch. Elinne shot me a 'what the hell's this guy on about?' stare. Random dude popping up like a cultist ranting doom? Predictable reaction.
“Hard to buy, I get it. That's why I'm questing you.”
“Keep talking.”
“Lancelot Duchy was barren as hell originally, monster-infested.”
Kasid Nova pioneered it—cleared monsters, carved out human turf. Smaller pop than the kingdom, but survivors tough as nails. And half of 'em die?
“I'll move too, but I want Red Dragon Mercenary Corps on recon.”
“Recon, huh.”
Planned to warn Kasid Nova to prep. Bumped into these mercs today—time to rack up as many allies as possible.
“First, gimme specifics on this 'disaster.'”
“One: Monster packs scattered everywhere swarm the duchy all at once.”
“Monster wave?”
I nodded. Straight-up like they were declaring war—hordes crashing in.
“Two. Ah, you know Freeze Snow Mountains?”
“Who in the duchy doesn't?”
“Dragon living there too, right?”
Red Dragon Mercenary Corps. Name sounded flashy, but they were the real dragon deal.
“Dragon attacks the duchy too.”
“The fuck... bullshit? Hold up—two? Then...”
“Last one.”
Why this apocalypse? Simple.
“Demons are behind it.”
“De...mons.”
Ironic as hell... but too batshit to just laugh off as nonsense—even for Kelly.