Chapter 18
Chapter 18
Chapter 18 What Kind of Person Will You Live as Going Forward
"What the hell is wrong with Ryeon-i?"
I held my breath and waited for Estelle's next words.
"Player Han Yeong-min. You were too focused on controlling the Hellfire to notice, but I was right beside you and saw it clearly. How she broke through the wall of transcendence."
She was right. I had been so busy adjusting the power of the Hellfire according to Baek Ryeon's reactions that I didn't have time to pay attention to anything else. There might have been some major problem at that time.
"Are you saying it was wrong for Ryeon-i to reach transcendence?"
Was reaching it too quickly somehow poisonous? Estelle shook her head as if that wasn't the case.
"Reaching transcendence itself isn't the problem. The problem was... the method."
The method to reach the realm of transcendence is to melt everything you've built up into one and erect a 'pillar'.
That pillar later becomes the cornerstone used when reaching the realm of hamonry, and becomes the center of the world.
So the work of erecting this pillar isn't simply about improving martial arts skills, but about creating the very 'framework' of one's existence.
What kind of person will you live as going forward?
It could become the only lighthouse that could answer that question, or it could become shackles that bind your future life.
From what I felt through our sparring, there wasn't a single flaw in Baek Ryeon's martial arts. So if the method was the problem... nothing else came to mind except the pillar.
"Is there... a problem with Baek Ryeon's pillar?"
Estelle nodded with a surprised expression.
"As expected of someone at the hamonry realm, you grasp the situation quickly. That's right. Baek Ryeon, there's a serious problem with her pillar."
She swallowed and then continued.
"That pillar is made up of Player Han Yeong-min... only you."
The moment I heard those words, I felt my heart sink.
'That child's pillar... is made up of only me?'
No matter how much I thought about it, I couldn't understand.
"What... what does that even mean?"
"Exactly what it sounds like. She didn't overcome the wall through enlightenment about martial arts. Beyond simple master-disciple faith, respect, and dependence—it was obsession to a fanatical degree. Think about it. Haven't you ever felt something like that, not even once?"
As her words ended, all of Baek Ryeon's actions flashed through my mind like a slideshow.
I had been feeling that her obsession with me had been growing deeper lately. But I never imagined it could have enough meaningful power to help her overcome the wall of transcendence.
In the first place, I had melted down everything I'd poured 37 years into to erect my pillar, so the fact that a pillar could be made from a single emotion was incomprehensible to me.
"You're right. I had been feeling it. But... what does it mean that she broke through the wall with just that one emotion?"
I knew the pillar was important. But honestly, I didn't really know what exact influence it had.
"Player Han Yeong-min. You have your own world, don't you?"
"Yeah."
"And a transcendent martial artist must complete their own world to reach of hamonry. Until new things fill that world, only that one pillar becomes the entirety of that world. You know this much, right?"
I nodded.
"That child... can't maintain her own center. She's standing not on her own path, but on your orbit. Because she's looked at the light called Han Yeong-min for too long, she's become a shadow. Light that's too strong makes shadows darker, doesn't it?"
I understood what she meant. If the center of a world that should be solid was established through someone else rather than oneself, I could roughly imagine how precarious that world would be.
"She might be strong right now, but... it's a dangerous state where she could collapse at any time. To borrow your expression, you could call it a shaking sandcastle."
It was an accurate metaphor. With just that one metaphor, I could really feel what state Baek Ryeon was in.
"It really is a dangerous state... Now I understand why you spoke so seriously."
To think I didn't even know my disciple was in such a state. I was disqualified as a master.
As I hung my head in self-reproach, Estelle approached and lightly patted my shoulder.
"It's not your fault. You taught that child more diligently than anyone. You're doing well even now. So what you need to do now isn't self-reproach, but thinking about what to do going forward. Because you're her master."
My mind snapped to attention.
'Estelle is right.'
What I needed to do now wasn't hollow self-reproach, but thinking about what I could do for Baek Ryeon going forward.
It was time to take my role as a master a bit more seriously.
"Thank you. Thanks to you, my head is clear."
"Not at all. I just said a word for my disciple's sake."
That one word was truly a great strength to me. Through Estelle, my master, I could realize once again what kind of existence a master is and what they should do.
"The fact that you're my master... I'm truly grateful."
Estelle blushed slightly and answered with a small smile.
"I also... think I'm fortunate that you're my disciple."
I smiled at her answer too.
And I thought.
'I need to become someone she's fortunate to have as a master too.'
If I truly cared for her, what choice should I make?
From that day, my endless anguish began.
*
43rd year of the tutorial.
I had become completely accustomed to handling Hellfire, and the duration of Heaven-Shattering Flame Annihilation Heavenly Diagram had increased to 4 minutes.
One might think increasing by just 1 minute wasn't significant, but considering what I could do in that 1 minute, it definitely couldn't be called short.
Since the original duration was 3 minutes, in simple proportional terms, it had grown by more than 33%.
What originally required a hundred exchanges to defeat Baal's avatar now only needed half that. My combat sense was also sharpening day by day.
Even though I had reached the realm of hamonry realm, my growth rate hadn't decreased much compared to before.
The daily changing performance was so noticeable that even I could clearly feel it.
If I continued growing like this, I thought it might not be impossible to overcome even the enormous mountain that was Estelle.
Up to this point, it might seem like smooth sailing, but there was a separate problem.
It was... Baek Ryeon.
It had already been a year since she reached the realm of transcendence.
In that time, she had certainly grown, but compared to before, it was too slow.
It was natural for growth to slow down as one's realm increased, but even accounting for that, the current speed was so slow it was hard to believe it was Baek Ryeon's talent.
She was always by my side. But the look in her eyes that used to ask me questions or show me something was gradually disappearing.
Only powerless compliance remained, as if she was doing it just because her master wanted it.
Estelle's words about 'light and shadow' finally hit home completely.
From the moment Baek Ryeon reached transcendence, she lost her complete light. She still smiled and followed me like before, but... that smile didn't have as much vitality as before.
My light was too bright, so it was swallowing her light. And what remained in its place was... a deep shadow.
She had erected the pillar of her world with emotions toward me, and even the components that filled that world were all made up of 'Han Yeong-min'.
It would have been stranger if such a world operated normally.
I truly realized the seriousness right then.
I was curious about how she would react if I disappeared. So I tried an experiment once.
While she was sleeping, I set up a surveillance artifact beside her and quietly hid on the opposite side of the tutorial.
The moment she woke up and realized I wasn't there, she completely collapsed mentally.
Without even putting on shoes, without properly dressing, she ran around all day with all her might looking for me.
She knelt down and desperately begged through tears, saying her master wouldn't abandon her, pleading for me to please come back.
...Seeing that sight, I couldn't endure it any longer.
I went back immediately.
The moment she confirmed my presence, she clung to my legs crying and said:
Please don't disappear without a word again. Please don't leave her behind.
'I could see how broken that child was.'
As time passed, Baek Ryeon was breaking down, and I had to find a way to solve it somehow.
At first, I tried making her travel. I thought if I let her accumulate various experiences, she too could create her own path like me.
The reason I was able to overcome the wall of realm of hamonry was because of the countless insights I'd accumulated as an All-Master, the experiences I'd gained traveling the world, and the emotions I'd felt while raising a disciple.
But Baek Ryeon... even while traveling, she only looked at me. The meaning of the journey and the destination weren't important.
She was happy just being with her master and was satisfied with just that. What could she possibly feel and gain from such a journey?
That journey had no will or subjectivity of her own. She only found meaning in the time spent with me, and the actual 'travel' didn't become any kind of experience.
The travel meant to accumulate experience ended up only accumulating 'interaction with me'.
She also only talked with others because I told her to; otherwise, she absolutely wouldn't have stepped forward.
So I gave up on travel.
This time, a different direction. I decided to try teaching her about various fields.
I had already proven the path of All-Master. If I could plant something inside her that wasn't related to me, I believed it might improve a little.
At first, it seemed okay.
Certainly, studying new fields didn't leave much room for emotions directed at me to interfere, and things that weren't me were finally beginning to accumulate little by little inside Baek Ryeon.
But... this method also had a big problem.
Baek Ryeon had unbelievably little talent in all fields except those related to martial arts and the body.
Unlike me, who received growth corrections in almost all fields thanks to Yeong-min's Body and quickly accumulated proficiency, she was too slow.
What I could reach in 35 years by my standards, I thought would be difficult for her even with 50 years.
35 years. Longer than a lifetime on Earth.
Throughout all those years, I had to endure hardships and adversity every moment to move forward. I couldn't force that painful path... on my disciple.
No, driving her onto a path more treacherous than mine was something I should never do as a master.
If what remained after 50 years was just a 'minor copy' of Han Yeong-min... that would be nothing more than completely wasting that child's shining talent. Such a thing must not happen.
I remembered what Baek Ryeon had said with a smile when she first saw me.
"I want to become like you too, Master."
Those words made me happy at first.
Just the fact that my disciple respected and followed me made me grateful and happy.
But now... those words made me feel the most sorry.
Those words might have been the beginning of what broke her down. While chasing me, while trying to follow me... she seemed to have completely collapsed. My heart ached so much.
...If only I had noticed a little sooner. If only I had properly looked at that child's eyes, tone, and expressions a little sooner. That child wouldn't have collapsed this much.
'I should have told her not to become like me instead.'
I chased after Yoo So-eun. Then Baal. Now Estelle.
I had grown that way, so I thought I could raise my disciple the same way. But that choice had caused the worst result. Baek Ryeon's talent had lost its light and was withering day by day.
What I had given that child wasn't wings, but shackles.
I had to correct it from now on.
I had to make the best choice as a master for that child.
'...I have to do it. We can't stay like this forever.'
The choice I had to make was clear. It wasn't keeping that child by my side, but placing her as far away from me as possible.
My very existence was hindering Baek Ryeon's growth. Getting away from me and filling herself with things unrelated to me was the only way for her to regain her light.
But that was impossible within this tutorial.
The human called 'Han Yeong-min' had permeated too deeply into the space of this tutorial, and hoping for her to build something other than me within here was contradictory from the start.
And there was only one path to leave the tutorial and advance to the wider world.
'Climbing the Tower.'
Coincidentally, there was one day left until the door to the Tower opened. Within this day, I had to persuade her.
Exactly one hour before the tutorial door opened, I called her out.
"What did you call me for, Master?"
She had expectant eyes, not knowing why I had suddenly called her out at this time. But the words I was about to say would shatter those expectations completely.
Still, I had to do it. It wasn't for me, but a choice solely for her.
"Ryeon-ah. Listen without misunderstanding, okay?"
Did she feel the weight in my expression and tone? Baek Ryeon soon nodded with a serious expression.
"...Yes."
"For the past year, I've been thinking every day about what choice I should make for you. And... I've found the answer now."
I took a deep breath and opened my mouth.
"Ryeon-ah. Climb the Tower."
I could almost hear the sound of the expectation in Baek Ryeon's eyes shattering. But still... she was clinging to the last thread of hope.
"Master... you're climbing together too, right?"
Honestly speaking, I was already more than prepared enough to climb the Tower.
I could handle everything related to production jobs like Blacksmithing, Magical Engineering, and alchemy at an expert level, and my martial prowess goes without saying—I'm already someone who has surpassed the hamonry realm.
If it were impossible for me to climb the lower floors of the Tower, humanity would have gone extinct long ago.
'But I can't climb now.'
The reason I was trying to send Baek Ryeon to the Tower first was separation. To cut her connection with me and let her create her own world through new experiences.
But if we climbed together, going to the Tower would be meaningless.
At least 7 years in tutorial time would have to pass before things other than 'Han Yeong-min' would start filling her world.
So... I had to send her alone.
"No. You're climbing alone. I'm... thinking of staying in the tutorial longer."
Even if it meant giving that child deep sorrow.