Chapter 89
Chapter 89
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Translator: penny
Chapter: 89
Chapter Title: Of course I like you
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‘A trap?’
That was the first thought that crossed Lena’s mind when asked if she perhaps liked him. This is a trap. A snare. What is it? Who the hell is this guy? Lena stared at the young man before her with the utmost seriousness. Lena didn’t know this rogue-like bastard. Give me back the pretty and cute Mr. Lin. As her thoughts tumbled chaotically, Lena hardened her expression into a cold one. For now, that was the best course of action.
And Lin’s face, as he asked if she liked him, was just as cold as Lena’s. An emotionless blank. The moment she saw that face, the label of rogue vanished, and Lena’s heart sank belatedly.
‘Why that expression…….’
It was the first time for Lena. Lin had never once looked at her with such an icy gaze. Staring at Lin in shock, Lena suddenly remembered. What he had said from the very beginning, his stern warning not to develop romantic feelings for him. Could he have noticed my feelings and be trying to interrogate me? The new possibility froze Lena. Her confusion turned to tension. Amidst it all, the only thing Lena could do was pretend to be calm.
Meanwhile, Lin was struggling not to laugh as he looked at Lena Rubel with her fierce glare.
‘Her face has stiffened again.’
Laughter bubbled up naturally at that face, but Lin held it back desperately. If he laughed here, she’d get mad. She definitely would. Lena was proud like that. So Lin did his best to maintain his expression. Outwardly, he looked cold, but inside, it was the exact opposite. Lena’s intuition was spot on. Lin was having utterly shameless thoughts right now. He found Lena, desperately hiding her expression, unbearably lovable.
‘She puts on a straight face when flustered.’
Lin chuckled inwardly as he watched Lena openly on guard against him. Actually, what Lin had originally meant to say was, ‘Do you still like me?’ He had cleverly omitted ‘still’ because he knew it hadn’t been long since Lena had become aware of her feelings. Lin knew Lena liked him. Perhaps even before she did. It was only natural that he knew. He was someone who had seen almost everything about Lena.
***
Countless memories, vast information, the broad undercurrents of human consciousness that could be called expansive. To wake Lena, who had collapsed under Hiems Grasha’s curse, Lin had made contact with her inner self, experiencing something akin to wandering a desert naked. It felt like eternal punishment. A sensation of his mind clouding to the point where his soul wore away dominated him, and naturally, questions arose. Ah, what am I doing here? Who am I searching for like this? To be honest, Lena no longer felt precious at that point. All sensations shattered into pieces, and he could barely grasp that he was searching for someone. He had to turn back before even that last awareness faded. Before he shattered and fell asleep forever.
Lin’s instincts halted his steps, and he agonized between his original purpose and that instinct. Would he regret stopping? If he stopped here. Ah, why did I come here in the first place? Who was it? The person I came to find. And who am I……?
It was then that Lin came to a bewildered halt.
—Are you okay?
—You can’t just blindly follow the guard.
—I’ll take you there.
A very familiar face appeared before Lin’s eyes. Black hair, white face. This is……
“Me?”
Lin barely realized that the young man before him was himself. At that moment, the scene shifted in an instant.
—Never thought you’d actually follow.
—I’m with the Eastern Knights.
—I heard you’re a guest of the Southern Duke.
Versions of himself from different times and places flashed by. As he watched, light returned to Lin’s clouded eyes.
‘This is how Lena remembers me…….’
The moment he realized who he was, his mind gradually cleared.
—Safety measure. Stab me if I approach.
—Don’t like me too much.
—I can’t take a mate.
And when even the moments he didn’t want to remember unfolded before him, his mind snapped alert, and promised shame surged over him.
“Why this…….”
Lin recoiled in disgust, pushing away his own disgraceful behavior.
‘No way she’s keeping only these separately?’
A horrifying hypothesis. Swallowing his embarrassment, Lin looked around the newly appeared area. It was filled with various moments of Lin.
‘She’s collected memories of me separately.’
Until now, memories had unfolded chronologically or by event. This was the first time they were gathered centered on a person. Lin marveled at how such classification was possible and gazed at his images filling the surroundings. It was only moments later that he, who had thought nothing of it, noticed something odd.
‘When was this?’
There were moments in Lena’s memories that Lin didn’t remember. He was passing through the imperial palace corridors with the Eastern Knights. But the viewpoint was a bit distant. It seemed like a glimpse from the far end of the corridor. That wasn’t all. His appearance at the opening ceremony, at the cardinal’s banquet, and various other moments lingered in fragments. Each time, Lin was looking elsewhere, and Lena quietly watched him before quickly averting her gaze when he moved. Watching those countless moments, Lin slowly realized what they meant.
‘She was watching me…….’
Lena had always been watching him. And she tried not to get caught. She’d hastily pretend nothing when their eyes nearly met. Lena cherished those small fragments she had gathered like that. The moment he realized it, Lin’s chest swelled to the point he could hardly breathe. He was happy. But even more so, sad. Ah, so that’s how it is. You like me. Just like I like you. That’s why I warned you. That you might come to hate me, because I didn’t want that. Realizing that, his steps grew heavy for a different reason than before. But Lin didn’t hesitate long and moved forward again. There was no need to delay further or reason to waver. He could think about the outcome later. What mattered now was that she was somewhere here. The one he liked, who liked him back, his person……
By then, Lin was already certain of Lena’s feelings. At the same time, there was the possibility that those feelings had been completely severed. That’s why he had been so anxious, and his composure had crumbled when Lena passed him by and took Rubid’s hand. But Lena, who had come last night, had revealed the truth.
—I’ve never hated Mr. Lin. When you came to save me back then, I was really happy.
—If an unavoidable situation arises, I’ll tell you in advance. Just like how we agreed to inform each other if romantic feelings develop.
—That’s our promise, right? You know what I mean.
Those prim, capricious words had instead given Lin the answer. He was glad to learn Lena’s feelings remained the same. But even more so, he was sad. Because he realized Lena, like him, was someone who couldn’t freely express her emotions.
***
“……Of course I like you.”
Lena, who had been eyeing Lin warily, finally answered.
“I’m always in your debt, Mr. Lin.”
Then she smiled sweetly, as if rehearsed. It seemed Lena had decided to play innocent again. Seeing that, Lin gave a faint smile. Who was calling whom prim? If you looked closely, Lena was truly the prim one.
“Me too.”
“Huh?”
“I like you too.”
Lin confessed as if it were nothing, putting Lena in a predicament once more.
‘He’s lost his mind, for real.’
What’s with him since earlier? Why is he acting like this? Should I just hit him? No, what’s his intention? Should I really hit him? It’s not like he ate something bad. Why is he acting so punchable?
“Mr. Lin, are you feeling unwell anywhere?”
“I’m not. I’m fine.”
When Lena asked seriously, Lin smiled weakly. Seeing the smile on his face eased Lena a bit. But she couldn’t let her guard down.
“I just thought it was a bit of a shame.”
“……What?”
“The possibilities.”
Lin added in a quiet voice to the tense Lena.
“The various possibilities that could be created with someone who shares my feelings.”
At that elegant phrasing, Lena quietly swallowed a sigh. Possibilities? What cruel expression is this? Possibilities, to someone whose future is set. Various emotions tangled in the center of her chest. At that moment, she recalled what Lin had said earlier. There are no unjust feelings. It hurt anew at those words, and Lena barely opened her mouth.
“I…….”
Just then, a knock sounded. Tap tap.
“The carriage has arrived.”
“……I’ll be going now.”
“Huh?”
“Thanks, see you at the palace.”
Lena cut off what she was about to say and shot up from her seat. Lin stood in surprise, but Lena didn’t even pretend to notice as she opened the door and breezed out. He couldn’t follow. Lena had slammed the door shut as if to say goodbye. Lena hurried across the corridor in quick steps, lest Lin follow. Then she boarded the carriage waiting outside the inn and finally caught her breath. The carriage soon departed, and feeling safe at last, Lena buried her face in her hands. Ah, I ran away. Lena felt pathetic about herself. But there was a bigger problem. Lena lamented in a mood near tears. What do I do? He found out I like him.
***
Deep into the night, the crimson light of the lantern illuminated the underground library. The library beneath Do-um Palace was filled with ancient books, and Enji swallowed dryly as he looked around.
‘I heard all the royal records were destroyed…….’
To think they remained intact like this. Enji felt a slight chill. A few hours earlier, Clavis had given him a key.
—I’m expecting great things from you, Enji. Do your best.
Clavis had said that and told him the library’s location. Half-doubting, Enji found the hidden stone chamber and opened the door with the key Clavis gave him. What awaited him there were records from the Grasha Kingdom era, said to have been completely burned in the great fire.
‘They weren’t destroyed—they were hidden by the imperial family…….’
Enji swallowed dryly as he looked at books over a century old. He’d said he wanted to be on the side that knew the secrets, but this was too much. Suddenly facing empire-scale secrets.
‘What were they trying to hide? No, before that, who would do this…….’
The thought made his skin crawl. The answer was obvious. Only His Imperial Majesty could have concealed this.
‘If what’s here is His Majesty’s secret…….’
The thought stopped there, and the hairs on his face stood on end. Enji’s heart pounded. Should he turn back and leave now? At that moment, an image of his big sister flashed in his mind. His big sister, shrouded in secrecy like the royal truth. Right before his eyes, yet he couldn’t call out or approach. He was tired of just watching cluelessly. In the end, Enji steeled himself and stepped forward. Then he meticulously examined the surrounding materials. Amid that, a large book adorned with gold binding caught his eye. The book wasn’t on the shelves but stood alone on a display stand.
“This is…….”
Enji absentmindedly opened the cover and widened his eyes. It was the Grasha royal family tree. The massive book detailed from the founding king onward: each king’s reign, achievements, and relations with descendants and kin, all densely recorded. Grasha’s records were unclear around the transition from kingdom to empire. So if he checked this family tree, wouldn’t he at least get a clue about the last king? Excited, Enji flipped through the pages. Near the end, he saw Hiems Grasha’s name. Flipping a few more pages brought him to the final section of the records. Seeing it, Enji was startled.
“Huh?”
Gone.
‘No way…….’
Enji incredulously scanned the family tree again. But it was the same. Nihil Grasha. That name was nowhere in the Grasha lineage.
‘What’s going on?’
Enji checked the last king’s name in shock. Instead, there was a name he’d never seen before. Swallowing his confusion, Enji awkwardly pronounced the unfamiliar name.
“……Regina Grasha.”
At that moment, Clavis, who had been watching from the darkness, closed his eyes quietly at the nostalgic name.