Chapter 88
Chapter 88
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Translator: penny
Chapter: 88
Chapter Title: Do You Like Me, By Any Chance?
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“Lin…?”
Lena stared at Lin’s moon-pale face with wide, surprised eyes.
‘Why is Lin here…?’
The question formed silently in her mind, but then she remembered. Earlier, on her way to the Rubel mansion, she had locked eyes with a man. She’d thought it was someone who looked like Lin, but could it really have been him?
Lena froze at Lin’s sudden appearance. It was the first time they’d met since he’d turned away from her so coldly the night before. She still hadn’t decided how to face him, so she stood there dumbfounded. Meanwhile, Lin strode toward her from down the street.
In an instant, he closed the distance.
“Are you okay?”
His voice was ordinarily kind. That threw Lena for a complete loop.
“Pardon?”
“Are you hurt?”
Lin glanced down at her bare feet as he asked, and Lena suddenly realized what a sight she must be. Forgetting the pain in her heels, she hurriedly shoved her feet back into her shoes.
‘Of all the times…’
Blushing with embarrassment, she bowed her head. Lin bent down to meet her gaze.
“Why are you out here like this? Are you alone?”
Unlike the flustered Lena, Lin showed no hesitation. His actions and tone were perfectly normal. That only made her more flustered. Lin waited for her answer, holding her gaze. Feigning surprise, Lena found herself speaking without thinking.
“I went home.”
“Home?”
“My father invited me…”
Lena trailed off. Lin was alternating his gaze between her face and her feet, as if piecing something together. Feeling a wave of shame, she clamped her mouth shut. Wandering aimlessly after a visit home—it made her sound like someone heartbroken and lost. Her own appearance felt so pitiful that she quickly changed the subject.
“And you?”
“Hm?”
“Why are you dressed like that? I thought you were off on an inspection…”
Lin was draped in a shabby cloak, just like when they’d first met. It didn’t suit the Eastern Duke in the middle of official duties at all. When Lena pointed out his outfit, Lin hesitated this time. He seemed troubled, putting off his answer before deftly turning the question back on her, just as she had.
“Were you expecting someone to pick you up?”
“No…”
Lena answered honestly and immediately regretted it. It was mortifying to let him see her so helpless. Above all, she didn’t want to act like a stray cat meowing to be taken in. Belatedly, she forced a smile, as if she’d planned it all along.
“I can get back on my own. So don’t worry about me.”
“Walking?”
But Lin didn’t back off easily. As Lena opened her mouth to insist she’d manage, he extended his hand first.
“Come with me.”
. . . This was already the second time Lena was following Lin into an inn. He was staying at a high-end establishment not far from the main avenue. With no other choice, Lena recalled their first meeting. Just like then, Lin readily offered her a room when she had nowhere else to go. But this time, he didn’t yield the bed. Instead, he asked the manager to summon a carriage. Lena, who had been a little tense, relaxed. Being with him wasn’t entirely comfortable, but she could endure it for a short while.
The two entered the room and fell silent for a moment. Unable to just sit there with her mouth shut while they waited, Lena spoke first.
“How did you know I was there?”
It was an honest question born of simple curiosity. But Lin blinked as if caught off guard.
“I didn’t know…”
“Pardon?”
“I didn’t know it was you. I just saw someone alone on a dark street and thought it looked dangerous, so I checked it out.”
This time, Lena blinked. Flustered by the unexpected reply, her expression quickly hardened.
‘I shouldn’t have asked.’
She truly regretted it. How did you know I was there? Of course she’d assumed he’d come looking for her. When the odds of it being coincidence were so much higher!
“Oh, a coincidence. Got it.”
She bit back a curse and managed to reply as nonchalantly as possible. Fortunately, her complexion didn’t betray her easily, so she could play it off naturally.
“That sounds like you.”
She added the words sincerely, not to change the subject. Lena really thought so. He’d checked it out because it looked dangerous—and thinking back, that was the exact reason Lin had approached her when they first met. She admired his consistent nature, but then abruptly wiped the smile from her lips.
“What’s wrong?”
“Nothing…”
Lin noticed her darkening expression and asked why. But Lena smoothed her face as if nothing had happened and shook her head. She stopped letting her imagination run wild. Stop thinking about how another woman could be sitting here instead of her. How another lady could receive his help and fall for him. The moment that thought crossed her mind, Lena felt a pang of annoyance, followed by self-loathing. Who was the one who’d drawn the line and pushed him away? And here she was, feeling ridiculous jealousy.
Finding herself absurd, she deliberately brightened her tone.
“The security around the palace is pretty good, isn’t it? Even at night, it doesn’t seem that dangerous.”
“Still.”
“Pardon?”
“What if someone grabs you?”
He’s lost his mind. His concern was so over-the-top it bordered on embarrassing, and Lena gaped at him. How was she supposed to respond to that? Just then, a knock sounded from outside. It was an inn staff member bringing simple refreshments.
“You haven’t eaten, have you?”
Lin asked as he rose. Lena found herself at a loss for words again. He already knew. There was no way she’d sat down with the marquis and leisurely eaten anything. It was awkward, but refusing now would be weird, so she nodded. Lin set sandwiches, soup, and pickled fruits on the table and nodded toward it. An invitation to eat. Lena obeyed quietly, though inwardly she was troubled. They’d had such an important talk the night before, yet Lin was acting as normal as ever. Had he not understood what she’d said yesterday? Or was he ignoring it? Or had he already accepted it…?
“How was meeting the marquis?”
Lena, lost in thought over her sandwich, looked up at the sudden question. For a split second, Lin’s calm face met hers. Unlike her churning thoughts, his dark eyes were as serene as night. It irked her a little, so she shot back mischievously.
“You seem awfully interested in me, Lin.”
“We’re allies, after all.”
If only he hadn’t answered. His reply made Lena feel foolish instead. She fumbled for a proper response and unwittingly let out a sigh. Everything felt overwhelming right now. She was too exhausted to pretend to be as composed as usual. And the very person who’d worn her out was sitting there before her, as handsome as ever, without a hint of malice.
“…It was a mess. Worse than I expected.”
In the end, Lena gave up and muttered. Whatever happened, happened.
“If he invited you home, he must have intended to reconcile.”
“Yeah. It started that way, but our positions are too different, so it fell apart.”
“Were you disappointed?”
“No. There’s nothing about my father left to surprise or disappoint me. It’s just…”
“Just?”
When Lena trailed off, Lin prompted her in a low voice. His patient waiting made her feel oddly unsettled. His tone and demeanor were completely different, but somehow she thought of Regina. Hesitating no longer, Lena spoke as if compelled.
“It left me a little confused. About whether my feelings are even justified.”
“What feelings?”
“Resenting my father, I mean.”
Putting it into words helped Lena finally understand her own emotions. Today, she’d been more emotional than usual. The way she’d drawn a line with Lin the night before still lingered, so she’d let her bubbling resentment spill out. And then the confusion had followed.
“My father felt newly resentful today.”
“Why?”
“Because I realized he ruined my life.”
Before falling into hell, Lena Rubel’s life had been peaceful. A world without hardship. A noble family, humble servants, morning violin, afternoon reading, and days filled only with dresses for her debut.
As the daughter of a viscount, Lena had counted the days until her society debut. She’d dreamed of greeting His Imperial Majesty in her prettiest gown, basking in everyone’s congratulations, and dancing with a fine gentleman. It was something that would come naturally, without greed. If things had gone as they should have. But what was ‘as they should have’?
“In the end, it was all something he gave me. Everything I feel was taken away.”
Lena gave a bitter smile as she gazed out the window at the street. Even the night roads here were quiet. Just a little further out, people sheltered under plank roofs from the rain, but here, not even a stray cat roamed. She hadn’t realized back then that walking these streets was a grand privilege in itself. So Clavis wasn’t wrong. You were clueless, dressed in pretty clothes and eating cake. Yeah, clueless. Lucky enough to be born the viscount’s daughter. Even if he was a fake viscount who’d massacred hundreds to claim his seat, she’d lived quite affluently as his daughter. What I rightfully enjoyed was something you gave me because of your sins. Without your crimes, I never would have known this noble world. So is it justified for me to resent you for taking back what you gave?
“I couldn’t help thinking it might be ridiculous. Complaining that he didn’t raise me properly.”
“So?”
“So…”
After agonizing, Lena answered with self-mockery.
“I’m just confused. Of course, that doesn’t change anything. What I have to do is set in stone, so it’s silly to be having these doubts now.”
“Not silly.”
Lin replied to her listless murmur.
“Better to keep looking back than to never question at all.”
His voice was calm yet firm, surprising Lena a little.
“And there’s no such thing as unjustified emotions. Just unjustified expressions.”
“Pardon…?”
“If you resent him, resent him. Don’t look for another reason. It’s your feeling, after all.”
Lin’s words were so firm they bordered on stern, startling Lena even more. Lin wasn’t being cute today. This was more than cute—it was… Staring endlessly at him, Lena suddenly found the situation uncomfortable. Whether it was his response or something else, her earlier worries no longer came to mind. Hesitating, she glared at the innocent sandwich and said.
“I see.”
“That’s how it’ll be.”
His reply sounded mischievous somehow. Glancing over, she saw Lin resting his chin on his hand, watching her. What is with this guy? His gaze made Lena feel oddly small. It rubbed her the wrong way. Hardly anyone knew this, but she hated losing control.
“…Thanks for the advice. You’re always so kind, Lin.”
Hiding her tension, Lena smiled sweetly as she always did. Then she whispered softly.
“This is just kindness to an ally, right?”
The added words were a declaration that she wouldn’t be shaken, no matter what he did. A plea not to be too gentle. Lin’s eyes changed as if he understood. The warmth in them mixed with a hint of doubt, a touch of contemplation, and a spark of resolve. With that look, he whispered back.
“If it were just an ally, I wouldn’t go this far.”
Lena’s heart plummeted at that moment. Breath catching, she widened her eyes. What did that mean? Why say that? Gulping nervously where he couldn’t see, she boldly asked.
“…Do you remember what I said yesterday?”
“Engraved it in my mind.”
Unlike her inner tension, Lin’s reply was effortless. He even added casually, in a truly relaxed tone.
“But I haven’t answered yet.”
Her resolute heart dropped again. Haven’t answered? What did that mean? As Lena stared at him wide-eyed, Lin met her gaze steadily.
“Just one question.”
With that preface, Lin thought for a moment before asking softly.
“Do you like me, by any chance?”