To Step Into the World (1)
I stood in the kitchen with a heart that felt a little heavier than usual. It might have been because of the cold realization that I couldn’t keep Som’s true identity hidden inside this small room forever. This morning’s meal was my incredibly clumsy first attempt at teaching her about “human life.” The thought was so grandiose and serious it made me chuckle at myself, but I figured attaching some kind of noble justification would at least make me feel more responsible.
The menu was poke. Of course, it was just our usual chopped vegetables and chicken breast with rice added on top, and to the eye it looked no different from the diet we were both growing tired of. Still, after the porridge phase, I wanted to introduce her to more of the flavors of the human world. At the same time, I was suddenly afraid her body might revolt against anything spicy, salty, or overly stimulating. After a long struggle with the internet, I ended up mixing the tiniest drop of soy sauce and sesame oil. A sauce that was basically just “human imitation” at a level safe enough for a dog.
“Whew… Som, let’s eat!”
“Yes!”
Som came running as though she’d been waiting for the call. But the moment she saw the bowl, her bright face fell.
“It’s this again…?”
“No, Som. Today’s a little different. Try it.”
Half doubtful, she used the spoon she had grown rather used to, scooped up some rice, and carefully brought it to her mouth. Then her eyes widened. The motion of her chewing stopped completely.
“Mmm…! It’s delicious! What is this?!”
Until now Som had only known unseasoned salad and chicken breast. She was gradually discovering the varied tastes of the world. My clumsy cooking was nowhere near what you could buy outside, but the single ecstatic look on her face made the whole meal worth it.
I stared at the cleanly emptied bowl and made a silent vow. Yes. This was the beginning. From now on, I had to teach this small, pure girl the flavors and rules of this vast, complicated world one by one.
Now Som needed practice leaving this narrow room and stepping out into the world. The only problem was…
“Haah… Oppa, your scent is so good…”
Watching her bury her face in my chest with an expression of pure ecstasy, as if she were addicted, gave me an instant headache. When it was just the two of us at home I could dismiss it as cute aegyo. But if she acted like this outside? If I made eye contact with another woman for even a second? What if I actually spoke to a female employee?
Just imagining Som’s reaction made my head spin. It wouldn’t end with the growling she’d done at the park last time. She might bark loud enough to clear out an entire store, or even attack someone. The thought made me steel my resolve even further.
“Okay, Som. Starting today, I’m going to teach you something fun.”
“Yes?? What is it??”
“Um… how to get along nicely with other people?”
“I’m not really interested in that…”
Som lost interest in less than a second and buried her face in my chest again. This wouldn’t work. I decided to use the one thing she wanted most as bait.
“Then… how about a way for the two of us to go anywhere together forever?”
“Yes yes!! Yes!! Teach me! Hurry!”
The words “forever” and “together” made her react instantly. She really was ridiculously simple.
“Listen… We’re going to make our own rules. You have to follow them, Som.”
I gripped both her shoulders, looked her straight in the eyes, and spoke seriously.
“If you follow these rules well, I’ll do anything you want.”
“Really? For real??!!!”
“Of course! Is there something you want?”
At my words, Som’s eyes sparkled as she began thinking in earnest.
“There’s too much to choose from…”
“…Then just one for now.”
“Um… Okay!”
As if making a monumental decision, Som grabbed my hand tightly and shouted.
“Oppa’s smelly clothes! I want to keep all of them from now on!”
“No.”
My rejection was immediate and absolute.
“Why…..!!!”
Tears welled up in her eyes again. I was going to lose my mind. The nightmare at the coin laundry flashed through my head. The training I had started to curb her obsession was in danger of feeding the flames instead. I resolved to add a “Don’t steal my clothes” rule and clutched my throbbing temples.
“Master, that’s too mean… You said you’d do everything Som wants…”
She looked up at me with a face on the verge of tears. Then she plopped down on the floor, covered her face with both hands, and began to whine. Seeing a “person” throw a tantrum like this doubled my embarrassment.
“No… Som, if you keep smelly clothes you might get sick later…”
“Hnggg, Oppa’s smell… it belongs to Som…”
How was I supposed to handle this? I let out a small sigh, then noticed my pillow lying on the corner of the bed. I stripped off the pillowcase and held it out to her.
“Here! Clothes are off-limits, but how about this instead?”
Som stopped crying at once and sniffed it suspiciously. Her eyes flew wide open.
“…Hwaaaaa! Master’s scent! This is even stronger! I love it so much…”
She buried her entire face in the pillowcase and rubbed her cheeks against it in rapture. Every time she did this I wanted to die of embarrassment.
“There, there. You like it? Then take it and let’s set the rules. First, no licking without permission. Especially in the morning… the face is absolutely off-limits.”
I said the first thing that came to mind.
Thud. The pillowcase she was holding dropped to the floor.
“Whaaaat?????”
She stared at me with an expression like the world had ended, as if she had heard the most outrageous nonsense imaginable.
“That’s… that’s too cruel, Master…”
“Cruel or not, it can’t be helped. People don’t do that.”
“Then how am I supposed to express affection…!”
“Instead, when I allow it, you can lick as much as you want.”
“No! I want to do it every day!”
I reached for the pillowcase on the floor.
“You’re not getting this if you can’t follow the rules?”
It was a childish threat, but it worked perfectly. Som gasped and snatched the pillowcase back into her arms. She must have really loved the scent. After pouting for a moment, she tried negotiating in a tiny voice.
“Then… if I get permission, can I really lick as much as I want? Even your face?”
“…Yes, yes. Of course!”
“Hehe, good! But… this is really mine now, right?”
She was already smiling brightly again, hugging the pillowcase tight. For Som, it seemed the “rules” came second to securing her prize.
“If you don’t follow the rules well, I won’t give it to you.”
“Hiiing… okay…”
Still pressing her nose into my pillowcase and sniffing, she answered. I sighed and moved on.
“Now, the second rule is…”
“Then will you listen to what Som wants this time too?”
“Huh…?”
Before I could even state the second rule, her eyes were already sparkling as if she had decided on the next reward.
“No, Som. These are things you simply have to follow…”
“You have to follow them!!”
Before I could finish, she clutched the pillowcase and shouted. There wasn’t the slightest hint of compromise in those dark eyes.
Aunt… Was the Maltese Aunt raised actually a fox in disguise?
“Fine… I understand. If you follow this one well too, I’ll grant another wish.”
“Of course!”
I took a deep breath and approached the biggest issue.
“The second rule is not growling at people who appear on my phone or on the laptop here.”
Instantly, every trace of a smile vanished from Som’s face. Her voice turned icy.
“That one is impossible. Those wicked females are absolutely not allowed! Master!!”
She cried out in genuine shock and fury, almost screaming. How was I supposed to teach her the perfectly obvious fact that the people on the screen weren’t “bad people”? My head was already pounding. Creating the rules had slammed into a massive wall right from the start.
“Okay, Som. Then… if you follow the rules well, I’ll give you kisses. Every day.”
I practically surrendered, offering the childish and dizzying bargain.
“…Kisses?”
Her eyes sparkled.
“Then… ten times a day? No, a hundred times?”
“Uh… if you follow them really well.”
I barely managed to settle the reward for the second rule.
“Now, Som. What was the first rule?”
“No licking! Instead I got this that smells like Oppa!”
She waved the pillowcase like a trophy.
“…And the second rule?”
“Um… no growling! Instead Oppa promised to give me a hundred kisses!”
She remembered not the rules themselves but only the rewards attached to them. The priorities were completely reversed.
I sighed, picked up my phone, and found the idol fancam links Yongjun had spammed in our group chat.
“Alright, Som. From now on, even if people appear on the screen, you must not bark or growl. If you succeed… I’ll give you beef jerky. And kisses… too.”
“Hwee… Really?? Som will try really hard to hold it in!”
Blinded by the rewards, she even put on a solemn expression. I tore open a fresh bag of jerky and waved it in front of her nose. Then… I clicked the video.
On the screen, the member smiled toward the camera. I told myself this was training, but the moment my eyes lingered on the girl who might become my bias, Som reacted.
“Grrrrr…”
When I turned my head, she was trembling violently on my lap.
“This won’t do!!! That bad bitch!!!”
“Som! Wait!”
The video had barely passed twenty seconds. Som had already forgotten the jerky in my hand and was furiously swiping at the phone like before.
“Haah…”
With a sigh, I turned the screen off. It seemed overcoming this instinct of hers to chase every other woman out of her world would take far more than jerky or a hundred kisses.
And so today’s training ended in miserable failure.