On Education (2)
The title education that continued until evening ultimately ended in failure. Som still seemed most comfortable calling me Master. In the end, I clutched my throbbing head and threw up both hands in surrender.
“Alright, Som… Are you hungry at least? Let’s have dinner.”
Just like lunch, I prepared blanched vegetables and chicken breast for dinner.
“Som, time to eat!”
“Yes, Master!!”
Poke, poke— Som gripped the fork with her clumsy little fists and stabbed at the food. It was still awkward and more than half of it spilled, but the sight of her desperately trying to copy what I’d shown her just once brought a smile to my face without me even realizing it.
A humble meal that only let you taste the ingredients themselves. Yet simply watching Som’s fork work one more time beside me filled the dinner table—which had felt so empty earlier—with warmth. Even the headache from before now felt like a pleasant sensation.
“Master! Let’s go for a walk! A walk!”
The moment she finished eating, Som tugged at my sleeve as if she had been waiting for this exact second. Seeing her still more comfortable walking on all fours and calling me Master, I started to resent myself for carelessly promising a night walk.
Whispering voices, sidelong glances that said I was strange. Just imagining them made my chest tighten until I could hardly breathe.
“Som.”
I squatted down in front of her and looked her in the eyes.
“Let’s make one promise.”
“Yes! What is it?”
“When we’re walking, you have to stay right beside me. You absolutely cannot wander off. Understand?”
“Yes, Master!”
Whether it was the word “walk” that excited her, Som spun in happy circles without grasping how serious my words were. That pure reaction was unmistakably that of a puppy.
Before we actually left, I dug out the smallest clothes I owned and dressed her in them. Because of her tiny frame the shorts became capris, and the T-shirt hung on her like a loose dress. Even though the outfit looked ridiculous, the mountain of things I still needed to buy pressed down on my shoulders with real weight.
“Okay, Som… let’s go.”
I gripped her hand and arm tightly and opened the front door. It was a threshold I had crossed countless times, yet today it felt like the boundary to an unknown world. The click of the door closing rang in my ears like a starting pistol.
Walking while supporting Som turned out to be far more difficult than I expected. The short distance to the neighborhood park, normally under ten minutes, felt endless today.
“Phew… Som, let’s sit here for a moment.”
After repeatedly catching her every time she tried to drop to all fours by instinct, I felt every ounce of strength leave my body the moment we reached the park. As I sat on the bench catching my breath, Som fidgeted restlessly, clearly dying to run onto the grass.
“Som. You absolutely cannot leave my side. You promised, remember?”
I wrapped my arm around hers and held on tight. This was our new leash now, the one that connected the two of us.
“But…”
The scenery was different from the free walks she used to enjoy, and Som seemed a little deflated. It hurt to see, but there was nothing I could do.
“Come on, Som. Let’s walk together instead!”
I stood from the bench again and supported her. Som quickly brightened like a child and matched her clumsy steps to mine. Her simple heart made me worry about her even more, and there was nothing I could do about that either.
“Master! This thing keeps following me!”
“Shh, shh! Som! You’re supposed to call me Oppa…”
“Wow! Wow! Master is following me too!”
Her bright, loud voice calling me Master sent cold sweat running down my back, but the pure wonder on her face as she stared at her own shadow made me smile despite myself.
That was when it happened.
An older woman out for a night walk slowly approached us with a small poodle on a leash. The moment she did, Som’s body, which had been pressed close to my side, went rigid.
“…Woof!”
“Som! Wait!”
Som raised every hair on her body and began barking fiercely at the poodle. If I hadn’t been holding her arm so tightly, she looked ready to charge.
Both the dog and the woman jumped in surprise at the sudden attack and stared at us.
“Som, you can’t do that! I’m so sorry…”
I quietly scolded Som, then bowed deeply to the woman.
“I’m sorry… my little sister is a bit special… I’ll keep a closer eye on her.”
“Grr… woof woof!”
“…Oh my, it’s alright, it’s alright. These things happen. Still, it’s nice to see a big brother looking after his sister so well.”
Between my troubled expression, clumsy excuse, and Som’s very dog-like barking, the woman seemed to have drawn her own conclusions. I felt sorry for Som, but that misunderstanding was an enormous relief.
“My own child was quite peculiar when she was young too… It doesn’t feel like a stranger’s problem. It’s like they’re my son and daughter…”
“Woof woof!”
“Som, quiet…! Ah… yes, haha…”
The woman gazed at us with a mixture of fondness and pity, then continued on her way. Only after her back had disappeared into the distance could I finally release the breath I had been holding. A stranger’s warm misunderstanding was the only lifeline in this dizzying situation.
“Phew… Som. You can’t just bark at other dogs during walks.”
“Huh?? Why not…?!”
Since something that had been completely natural was now forbidden, Som looked genuinely confused.
“If you suddenly bark, your dog friends will be startled and it might hurt them. Does Som want her dog friends to get hurt?”
“No! No, I don’t!”
“Right. Then you mustn’t suddenly bark, okay?”
“Okay…”
Her dejected little voice was so adorable that I unconsciously stroked her head.
“Good job.”
“Hehet…”
At a single word of praise she immediately broke into a wide grin, and I couldn’t help chuckling too.
After that we continued strolling through the park. I kept supporting Som’s still-clumsy steps and walked slowly. Som enjoyed the walk like a child fascinated by everything in the world.
“Som, let’s head home now.”
We were on our way back when a woman jogging from the opposite direction passed right beside us. Our eyes met for the briefest moment.
In that instant the strength of Som’s grip on my hand made me stop dead.
“Grr…”
“…Som?”
When I turned, she was growling from deep in her throat at the woman’s retreating back. Every muscle in her body was dangerously tense, like a predator that had locked onto prey. If I hadn’t yanked her arm back, she looked ready to sprint out and sink her teeth into the woman’s ankle.
“Som, calm down…”
“Master, no! How dare she look at Master…”
Som tried to shake my hand off and lunge after the woman. Fortunately the jogger quickly vanished into the darkness.
Breathing hard, I crouched in front of Som and met her eyes.
“Som, it’s okay. It’s okay, calm down…”
Maybe my voice reached her. The fierce, beast-like gleam in her eyes slowly faded back into the gaze of a lost puppy. She rubbed her face against my chest and whimpered.
I pulled her tightly into my arms and let out a long, deep sigh. The bizarre sight of a dog in human form feeling jealousy was so absurd it made me laugh, yet it sent a chill through my heart. A vague anxiety that this small jealousy might one day become an insurmountable wall.
As if trying to erase that anxiety, I could only pat her back with firm, steady strokes.
After the chaotic walk we finally returned home. The string of events today had drained every last drop of energy from my body. But coming home didn’t mean the day’s confusion was over.
Heading to the bathroom to wash off the sticky sweat, I stopped short when I saw Som sitting on the sofa. Her feet were covered in dirt and her hair was damp with sweat.
“How am I supposed to get her to shower…”
A sigh escaped before I could stop it. It was a massive hurdle right from the start.
“Som… let’s take a bath.”
“Yes?! Ah… I don’t want to…”
Just as she had in her dog days, she recoiled at the word “bath,” looking utterly disgusted.
“Som, we went for a walk today, so we have to wash. You have to get clean… to sleep with Oppa.”
I knew it was a cowardly tactic, but right now it was the best I had.
“Hing… okay…”
In the end she nodded reluctantly.
Inside the narrow, steamy bathroom an awkward silence settled. No matter that she had been my dog, the thought of washing someone who now possessed the body of a grown woman made it impossible for me to look at her directly. I could only fidget with the showerhead.
“Haa… Som. I’ll finish quickly.”
I squeezed my eyes shut and, with trembling hands, slid the shoulder straps of the loose slip dress down. Then, trying not to see anything at all, I quickly turned on the shower and sprayed water over her body.
“Kyaa!”
“Sorry, Som!”
Startled by the sudden spray, Som screamed and threw herself into my arms. The unexpected softness made me freeze, breath caught in my throat. Once the water warmed, Som leaned her head on my shoulder as if nothing had happened and let out a contented sigh.
“Haa… Master… it feels good…”
That single innocent remark nearly short-circuited my brain. I hurried through the rest of the shower, wrapped her in a large towel, and carried her out of the bathroom.
The sense of responsibility as her guardian and the instinctive bewilderment of a man. I had begun a precarious tightrope walk along that dangerous line.
I tried to shake off every distracting thought, then collapsed onto the bed with my exhausted body.
“Som, let’s sleep now…”
“Yes, Master!”
As if it were the most natural thing in the world, Som burrowed into the spot beside me and snuggled familiarly into my arms. When she had been a dog the act had simply been warm. Now it was different. Instead of fluffy fur I felt soft skin; instead of a hard little frame I felt distinct curves. The closeness required to hold her properly became a suffocating awkwardness that locked every muscle in my body.
“Master! You have to hug me!”
Som grabbed my frozen arm with her small hands and placed it over her shoulder. It was the exact same behavior as before, yet now every bit of it carried an entirely different meaning and left me flustered.
“Uh… yeah, Som…”
“Hehe… this is nice…”
Only then did Som wear a satisfied expression. She buried her face in my chest and fell asleep with soft, even breaths.
The regular sound of her breathing, the warm heat pressing against my heart—everything was familiar, yet at the same time terribly strange. Tonight was going to be an incredibly long night.