Irrepressible Desire
The mansion, devoid of any warmth, felt even colder today. Not even the sound of conversation or laughter could be heard. There were two housekeepers cleaning the estate, one gardener, Cact—Tezman's secretary—and the few capos and soldiers guarding the property, but they all tended to keep their silence. As a result, the mansion grew even more desolate once night fell.
The sharp click of dress shoes echoed down the hallway lined with artworks. Tezman's expression as he walked through the corridor, heavy with a bleak and oppressive air, was strangely inscrutable.
He surprised himself more with each passing day. It would have been simple to seize Sua and lock her away in his mansion, yet he had deliberately invested time and effort into finding her.
Even as he wondered whether she might come to despise him, he could not suppress the desire that surged up unbidden. That was why he had been unable to hold back and kissed her again today.
His steps slowed. In truth, he could not endure it at all. Whenever she looked up at him with those reddened eyes and innocent, crystal-clear gaze, something in his chest tightened like a vise. This feeling was entirely new to him, and he could not easily define it. Nor did he wish to. Right now his mind was consumed entirely by Sua, leaving no room for any other thoughts.
He wished she would run into his arms as soon as possible.
The more he saw her, the more parched he felt each day. Yet if he did not see her, that too left him dried out and hollow. The frustration was his alone to bear. Entering the study, he tore off his leather gloves with rough impatience.
"Welcome back, sir."
At Cact's greeting, Tezman nodded without even turning around.
"Did you meet Sister again today?"
"Yes."
The first to notice the change in Tezman was Cact, who spent the most time at his side. Seeing a man who had once behaved as though he possessed no emotions now visibly agitated always made Cact feel as if the Tezman he knew had become someone else entirely.
It was even more striking when he saw him like today—face restless, unable to conceal his frustration.
"Why not return to your former ways?"
Former ways. Before meeting Sua. Rather than tormenting himself with daily dilemmas, locking her in the mansion was their usual method, so the suggestion held no flaw.
"She would run away."
"Then we find her and bring her back."
Despite how simple the choice was, he could not bring himself to do it. Like a beast that only wished to be loved while carefully watching its master's mood.
"Because I dislike that."
Tezman's eyes sank into deep shadow.
"I want to show her only my good side, but I can't manage it."
Especially after failing to hold back again today.
"If only I could get aroused like a dog at the sight of any woman, the way my father did, it wouldn't matter."
"...Sir."
"I only ever get aroused like a dog for our dear sister."
Even now his cock remained rigidly upright. From the moment he had kissed Sua until this instant. His desire refused to subside; instead it burned hotter than ever.
"Get out."
"...Understood."
Cact quietly withdrew. Alone in the study, Tezman sat in his chair and unbuckled his belt. His already painfully erect cock throbbed desperately for release. The moment he pulled down his underwear, it sprang free, twitching and slapping against his abdomen. Veins bulged prominently along its length.
"Hah."
He could not hold back any longer. His large hand closed tightly around the dark-red shaft. Gripped in his fist, it resembled a savage weapon. At the blunt, thick tip of the glans, clear fluid had already spread. It had begun leaking the moment their lips met.
He recalled the sensation of her lips when he had pushed the saliva from the corner of her mouth with his finger—soft, hot, seductively red.
He had nearly thrust his fingers into her mouth. If she had taken them well, then next—
"Ugh."
A short groan escaped as his smooth brow furrowed. His hand, which had begun moving slowly, gradually stroked up and down with increasing roughness. Each time it swept from the swollen glans to the base, a lewd, wet sound filled the room.
"Sua..."
The urge to climax rose sharply. Every time he uttered her name, his grip tightened. He wanted to bury himself inside her right this moment. Though if he took her from the start, he might tear her apart.
A beastly growl rumbled from deep in his throat. Thick, milky semen spurted across his palm. He stared down at the fluid dripping between his fingers with languid eyes, then let out a hollow laugh.
To think he was doing this at his age.
Even after releasing once, his cock still twitched demandingly. The sight drew another empty chuckle from him. It seemed sleep would elude him tonight. He loosened his tie roughly and wiped his hand clean.
To cool this heat, he would need to immerse himself in cold water. Hoping it might calm his lust even a little, he headed for the bathroom.
At that same moment, Sua was on her way to the cathedral. Staying in her room would only leave her drowning in chaotic thoughts that inevitably circled back to Tezman, and she scolded herself for it. Yet the cathedral was not safe either. After all, she had kissed him beneath the cross at the main altar.
Wherever she went, he followed her like a shadow. Even though she had already been tested and committed a fallen act, she could not simply give up.
Sua clasped her hands in prayer and closed her eyes. What was she to do? With her body, heart, and mind already shaken to their core, could she truly begin anew?
First, she had to leave this place. If she remained any longer, she feared she would cross a path from which there was no return. She planned to go back to Korea and once again serve God beneath Sister Agnes, devoting herself to good works.
If she lived busily enough, she might be able to forget the man who had shaken her heart. Only then could she offer herself wholly to God once more.
There was no need to hesitate. She would call Sister Agnes around lunchtime. That was when the sister usually took her personal time. She would confess everything to Sister Agnes and tell Father Vincenzo that she was returning to Korea.
"If I return as quickly as possible, I should be able to leave for Korea sometime next week...?"
Her voice, heavy with hesitation, trailed off as though caught on something. Knowing that what held her back was the man who had already taken root inside her heart, she squeezed her eyes shut.
Pleasure was a terrifying thing. Was that why God had warned them to beware of the tree of knowledge of good and evil? Once you fell into it, you sank so deeply that nothing else could occupy your thoughts.
She must stop thinking of him. No—she would stop. Out of sight, out of mind. What she must always carry in her heart was the cross.
Sua pressed her forehead to her neatly folded hands. Please, let her return to Korea as she wished.
As she repeated her prayers dozens of times, the interior of the cathedral gradually grew brighter. The brilliant light passing through the stained glass poured down over her head.
Just then, the heavy sound of the cathedral door opening made Sua slowly open her eyes. She made the sign of the cross and rose from her seat. Father Vincenzo greeted her with a warm morning salutation.
"Sua. Still so devout today, I see."
Devout. If he knew of her fallen state, Father Vincenzo would be horrified. Unable to answer, she offered an awkward smile. Father Vincenzo continued gently.
"The orphanage children will be coming this weekend."
"The orphanage children?"
"Yes. Children from the nearby orphanage. The building is quite old, and apparently cracks have formed in the walls."
With a troubled expression, Father Vincenzo went on.
"It will take several days to repair the orphanage, so we've arranged for the children to stay with us at the cathedral during that time."
"Ah..."
"The director and teachers will be helping with the repairs. They'll come to care for the children in the mornings and evenings, but during the daytime there will be no one to watch over them..."
Sua herself had grown up in an orphanage. Now those same children, displaced because their aging building was falling apart, would be staying at the cathedral for several days. Her plan to call Sister Agnes today and prepare to return to Korea would have to be postponed.
"Could you spend some time with the children, Sua?"
Facing the cautiously inquiring elderly priest, Sua answered without hesitation.
"I'll do everything within my power."
Father Vincenzo smiled with gentle gratitude at her reply.
"We're truly fortunate to have you. I've already told the children to address you as Sister."
"Pardon? But I'm not yet a professed..."
"I know. But you will become one soon enough."
That Father Vincenzo—who was usually so strict about such matters—would acknowledge her as a sister made her heart swell with emotion. Yet the warmth lasted only a moment before a creeping sense of guilt rose from her toes like a serpent, coiling tightly around her.
"...Thank you, Father."
Sua smiled awkwardly, praying that her corruption would remain hidden from Father Vincenzo's kind eyes.