The Fool's Night is Long, and the Slaps Sting Sweet
I shrugged my shoulders with feigned disappointment toward the rowdy men who were noisily giving up their seats.
"Hmm, looks like the first-floor hall is packed. No helping it."
Just then, a fierce-looking bodyguard came panting down the stairs on Seomun Cheol's orders and stood before me.
"M-Miss, if time and seating permit, our young master Seomun Cheol would like to invite you to the VIP table on the second floor..."
The bodyguard blushed at my alluring smile and stammered.
"Lead the way."
I nodded with a grin. Whatever the bodyguard blabbered didn't matter to me.
My mind was solely on the mountain of glistening, juicy meat piled high on the prime second-floor table.
I followed lightly behind the bodyguard, stepping up the stairs like a butterfly.
As we reached the fool's table, Seomun Cheol, draped in fine silk robes, shot to his feet and greeted me with an obnoxiously wide smile.
"Oho! Seeing you up close, you're even more stunning! I've seen countless beauties in my life, but a peerless beauty like you is truly a first!"
"You're too kind, young master."
I bowed my head gracefully, flashing a nine-tailed fox's sly eye-smile.
Of course, my gaze was glued not to his face, but to the meat dishes on the table.
"Ahem! Uh-hum! In my excitement, I forgot to introduce myself."
The fool—no, the rather plain and unremarkable Seomun Cheol—clasped his hands behind his back, puffed out his chest, and began strutting like a peacock.
"I am Seomun Cheol, the eldest son of the renowned Seomun Family of the northern plains. Surely you've heard of our family's prestige in the jianghu martial world!"
Normally, in this situation, a woman would sparkle her eyes and gush, "Oh my! The young master of the famous Seomun Family!" to play by the rules.
"Ah, yes. I see."
I replied half-heartedly and plopped right down into a seat. Without hesitation, I snatched up the largest, plumpest pork leg with my chopsticks.
Munch munch, slurp!
The savory pork fat filling my mouth, the tender meat's texture! Worlds apart from the tough, chewy wall-grain pills I'd choked down during secluded cave training. My depleted energy felt instantly recharged to 100%.
Ignoring Seomun Cheol's solo bragging about his clan, I stuffed my cheeks full and continued my battle-like feast.
Face? Dignity? Fill the belly first.
But it was truly bizarre.
Normally, a woman eating like a glutton would kill the mood, but Seomun Cheol stared at me in a daze, drooling.
"Hahaha! You eat so heartily! Even tearing into a pork leg looks so adorable! Eat up, eat lots!"
Seomun Cheol propped his chin, watching my mukbang with delight, then suddenly clapped as if remembering something.
"Oh right, I haven't asked the beautiful miss's name. Might I know it?"
"Ah, I'm Yeonhwa."
Not wanting to get dragged into hassle, I skipped my Divine Maiden Sect origins and just tossed out my name. But Seomun Cheol's reaction was pure over-the-top drama.
"Yeonhwa! The noble lotus blooming from the mud! Heavens, what a heavenly name that fits you perfectly! From today, my favorite flower is the lotus!"
The Hwangol Taltae buff was ridiculously OP. At this rate, he'd applaud even if I gnawed on pork bones.
Yeah, you ramble on. I'll just eat my fill.
As I inwardly cheered and reached for the second pork leg—
"Um, excuse me! Young master Seomun!"
Soyoyo, who'd just been shoved to the floor by Seomun Cheol, jumped up trembling with injustice and rage, approaching the table.
"Ho, hoho... Young master. What are you doing? You suddenly shoved me aside and called over some stranger..."
Soyoyo forced a smile and tried slipping into the seat beside him.
As a senior(?) nine-tailed fox set on emptying Seomun Cheol's wallet tonight, she couldn't let a rolling stone like me steal her bowl.
But.
"Who are you?"
Seomun Cheol furrowed his brow in annoyance, glaring at her like he'd stepped in dog shit.
"...Pardon?"
Soyoyo's red lips twitched.
"Y-You came here with me, young master! Just moments ago, you hugged my waist saying you liked me..."
"What?! What nonsense is this woman spouting? When did I ever travel with the likes of you?!"
Seomun Cheol jumped up shamelessly.
"I detest women like you who cake on cheap makeup! Get away from my table!"
"Y-Young master Seomun..!"
Soyoyo's face flushed red-purple. She stared at him in disbelief, then shot me—a pork leg-muncher—a venomous glare.
Whatever. Your fault for not managing your mark.
I clicked my tongue inwardly and chewed my pork.
Seomun Cheol ignored Soyoyo's protests, treating her like air, and irritably waved at the bodyguards behind him.
"You lot, drag this crazy woman out of my sight. Can't you see she's disturbing my lovely Yeonhwa's meal?!"
"Yes, young master!"
As the bodyguards advanced with menacing auras to grab her arms—
Swoosh.
My eyes narrowed ever so slightly.
In that instant, I caught Soyoyo's gaze flash like a viper's amid her aggrieved expression.
A sharp, subtle killing intent leaked from her—something even skilled masters couldn't easily emit.
My Absolute Peak senses weren't wrong.
Huh? That woman's no cheap vixen. She's hiding martial arts.
Assessment complete. Those two rough-looking bodyguards couldn't touch a fingertip even if they ganged up.
She was far more dangerous and skilled than the oblivious thick-headed fool Seomun Cheol. I realized it instantly.
Like me, she'd probably approached the golden goose to fleece him or for some scheme, hiding her power.
Hmm, she must be pissed. Gonna pull a knife here?
I set down the pork bone and watched eagerly.
But Soyoyo swiftly reined in her aura, feigned tears, and let the bodyguards drag her off whimpering.
She chose retreat over revealing herself now.
Whatever, hidden expert or assassin—who cares.
If Seomun Cheol got assassinated or fleeced to the bone later, that was the Seomun Family's karma, not mine.
Mountains of dumplings and chicken still awaited me.
"Come now, Yeonhwa, ignore that lunatic. Shall I tell you more about my clan...?"
"Young master, these dumplings are delicious. Slurp."
Let the jianghu brew with schemes and murder—the Divine Maiden Sect leader's elegant(?) freeloading mukbang showed no signs of stopping.
Burp!
After devouring the roast pork, dumplings, and unnamable delicacies, I smugly patted my belly and entered the inn's top-suite room on the second floor that Seomun Cheol had comped.
True to a prestigious northern clan heir, the thick-headed fool footed the bill for both meal and this pricey deluxe bedroom without complaint.
"Groan, this is civilization's flavor! This is the taste of money!"
I dove straight onto the spacious, plush bed in the room's center.
Plop!
The silky quilt's soft touch on my back, the cloud-like mattress cradling me! A far cry from the hard, cold stone floor shrimp-sleeps during cave seclusion.
Whew, that Seomun Cheol or whatever... The clueless fool might sneak into my room tonight with lewd intentions.
I pulled the covers to my chin and snorted.
Whatever, let him come. What can he do waking a sleeping girl? Think that scrub can lay a hand on me?
Swept by food coma and the bed's comfort, I drifted into deep slumber.
How long had I slept?
Swish.
Cleaving the silent inn air came a friction sound finer than a falling needle.
Snap!
My Absolute Peak body reacted instinctively to the feather-light noise outside, eyes flashing open.
With an annoyed scowl, I kicked off the covers, rose silently, and tracked the presence toward the door. I'd load up killing intent thinking the fool came peeping drunk on bravado.
But the footsteps stopped not at my door.
Huh? Next door? That's Seomun Cheol's room.
Curiosity piqued, I crept silently to the door, cracked it without a breath, and peered into the moonlit hall.
A masked figure slipped ghost-like into Seomun Cheol's room.
In that glimpse, a red robe hem peeked from under the mask.
Hey, that's the vixen from earlier at the inn—Soyoyo!
My eyes sparkled with intrigue.
Come for revenge after the fool dumped her?
But it wasn't that simple. The two fierce bodyguards who should guard the door stood rigidly like mannequins—knocked out upright.
Whoa, pressure points? Standing ma points for paralysis and stun points simultaneously.
Neutralizing two first-rate bodyguards silently while upright.
Damn, she seemed off earlier, but this is no joke.
Hook, line, and sinker—I slipped into the hall and peeked through Seomun Cheol's door crack. Good shows banish laziness.
Moonlight filtered into the room. Seomun Cheol snored obliviously, mouth agape.
Soyoyo approached the bed, snapped her fingers, and tapped his chest and neck points in sequence.
"Mmph...!"
Seomun Cheol jolted awake in terror, but his body was log-stiff, voiceless.
Gazing down at his rolling eyes of fear, Soyoyo flung off her mask. And then...
Slap!!
Nice and crisp. Maybe I should practice that.
I applauded inwardly from the crack.
Not sated, Soyoyo backhanded his other cheek on the tear-streaming, speechless fool.
"This is payback for shoving me earlier, you oblivious pig."
Slap!!
Seomun Cheol's cheeks ballooned beet-red in seconds.
"I'll release your mute point now. Utter one sound, and I'll snap your neck on the spot. Got it?"
Seomun Cheol nodded frantically, trembling like a leaf.
Tap.
Soyoyo flicked his throat point.
"Gasp... Huff...! What the hell are you doing to me?! Do you know who I—!"
Breath restored, Seomun Cheol wheezed in aggrieved terror. But the drivel from the thick-headed fool was a sight.
"Even if I'm irresistibly charming and handsome as a man, no! You think breaking in at night makes you my woman?! I was cold earlier, but if you want a concubine spot—Guhk~!"
Soyoyo, dumbfounded, veins bulging on her forehead, clenched her fist in fury.
"You mad bastard, to the end...!"
Thwack!!
"Guhk!"
A merciless solar plexus punch slammed into Seomun Cheol's gut, his muffled scream echoing anew.
