Day 2 of Jianghu Debut: Non-Stop Chaos
From the very first day of my historic martial world excursion, things had gone completely off the rails.
"Hah, hah... damn... that monster of a cock down there doesn't even get tired."
I leaned against the wall of the narrow inn corridor on the second floor, panting raggedly with my bloodshot eyes wide open.
Squelch, squish. Drip, drip.
Below my skirt hem, love juices had soaked the floor sticky enough to rival the Han River.
Seomun Cheol's ferocious stamina was way beyond human limits.
He'd rolled Soyoyo every which way all night—doggy style and every obscene position imaginable—bombarding her womb relentlessly.
Thwack! Smack! Slap! Slap! Squelch!
"Aaang! N-nooo! G-Gaga, I'm cumming again! Haaaang!"
"Heh heh! Didn't I tell you this night would be a long one? Here it comes! Here it coooomes!!"
Spluuuurt!! Gloop, spuuurt!
"Kyaaaah! It's filling me up again! My belly's so hoooot!!"
I'd spent the whole night lost in masturbation ecstasy, using their beastly moans as the perfect side dish, until dawn broke.
Phew, Yeonhwa. If the inn staff had caught you doing this shit right outside their door, you'd be the laughingstock of the martial world.
I barely made it back to my room just before people started wandering the corridors for breakfast, letting out a sigh of relief.
My legs were jelly, barely able to walk, but I roughly washed off the sticky mess and dove face-first into the fluffy bed.
The moment I closed my eyes, Soyoyo's ass and Seomun Cheol's massive dick from right outside the door flickered in my mind, but the exhaustion from my animalistic masturbation binge dragged me straight into deep sleep.
"Mmm..."
How long had I been out cold?
Grrrroooowl.
My post-Hwangol Taltae stomach rumbled like an earthquake, jolting me awake. Blinking blearily, I saw the dazzling midday sun high in the sky outside the window.
"Haa... starving. Maybe I should mooch off that sucker again today."
My body felt like cotton candy—limp and languid—but thanks to last night's insane masturbation marathon, my skin glowed with an extra porcelain sheen. I straightened my clothes and stepped out.
Right then, the door to the room next to mine—the site of last night's fierce "battle"—slid open smoothly.
"Gaga~ Aaang~!"
The moment it opened, a nasal whine so creepy it made my skin crawl echoed down the hall. I froze mid-step and glanced over.
The sight of the two emerging was a spectacle.
Seomun Cheol strutted out with a triumphant, arrogant grin, chin held high like a general returning from conquest. Clinging to his arm like a leech was the woman.
Soyoyo, the seductive assassin who'd punched him in the solar plexus just yesterday.
"Gaga~ You're walking too faaast~ Yoyo's legs are all wobbly, it's hard to walkieee~"
"Heh heh! After squeezing every drop out of me all night, your legs are still giving out?"
Seomun Cheol laughed heartily and smacked her ass. Soyoyo giggled and rubbed her face against his chest, honey practically pouring from her eyes.
...Wow.
I gaped at the absurd scene. From that horny bitch-in-heat clinginess, it was clear she couldn't survive a day without his monster cock anymore.
Well... it worked out in the end, I guess?
The golden boy who'd faced assassination dodged death by awakening his "emperor of the night" talent. The seductress who'd drained men's essence got conquered by that dick and turned into a lovesick maiden.
And I'd capped it off with prime yin-yang training(?) using their fuckfest as appetizer. No losers in this inn.
"What heartwarming, cocksucking peace in the jianghu."
I shook my head with a hollow chuckle when Seomun Cheol spotted me and lit up.
"Oh! Lady Yeonhwa! Heading down for lunch, perfect timing! We're going too—care to join like yesterday?"
"Ah... sure, why not."
No reason to turn down top-shelf free grub from this thick-headed mark. I nodded eagerly.
But Soyoyo, arm-in-arm with him, shot me a sharp, wary glare.
Don't worry. I won't steal your gaga. I'll just steal the meat.
I smirked inwardly and followed them to the first-floor dining hall.
At the prime table, glistening chicken dishes and pork dumplings piled high. I tuned out Seomun Cheol's boastful bullshit and aggressively shoveled dumplings into my mouth. Whether this pervy couple rubbed legs or drooled honey under the table was none of my business.
The problem was Seomun Cheol—this oblivious simp's mouth.
"Ooh... even the way you munch those dumplings is so fairy-like! I've never seen such plump, beautiful lips in my life!"
He had Soyoyo draped over his arm, yet his eyes were glued to me, drool pooling. Shameless enough to match that monstrous dick.
Sensing the bone-deep threat in his blatant stare, Soyoyo unleashed a desperate nasal whine.
"Gaga~ Yoyo's hungry. Feed me these dumplings yourself~ Ahh~"
She jiggled her massive tits and opened wide, but Seomun Cheol waved her off irritably without looking away from me.
"Tch, no hands? No feet? Eat it yourself. Can't you see I'm chatting happily with Lady Yeonhwa?!"
"G-Gaga...!"
Her boiling rage naturally arrowed straight at me.
"You... you vixen bitch...!"
Soyoyo gripped the table with infused qi, growling.
"Who the hell are you? What's your game, hanging around my gaga and wagging your tail since yesterday?!"
"Huh? Tail? Me?"
I paused mid-chew on a pork leg, eyes widening. I'd been quietly grinding meat—what the fuck?
"Don't play dumb! You think I can't tell you're just a gold-digging slut eyeing a rich, handsome young master like my gaga?!"
"......"
Her bullshit nearly choked me on my pork. After failing to fleece him last night and getting fleeced herself, now she's lecturing me about marks? Absurd.
"Hey, lady."
"What?! L-Lady?!"
Her red lips quivered, then chilling, sticky killing intent slithered toward me like a viper.
This is it?
I chuckled around my pork leg. She faltered at my nonchalant calm.
"You... you bitch... taking my killing intent without flinching. Who the hell are you? Do you even know who I am in the jianghu?!"
"Dunno. Do I have to?"
I set down the bone and cocked my head sassily.
"Wh-what an arrogant bitch...! I... I'm...!"
Soyoyo gnashed her teeth. She looked ready to leap up, spout her fancy title, and flex—but she choked after the first syllable, jaw subtly stiffening.
I caught that split-second hesitation.
"What? Cat got your tongue mid-boast?"
I propped my chin, staring her down with infuriating innocence, stabbing her pride.
"Oh. Scared spilling your 'famous jianghu moniker' will expose your real age? Makes sense—your makeup's pretty thick."
"You little slut! I'll rip that slutty mouth off you today!"
She lost it, surging qi to spring up. I sneered inwardly, powering up too.
In this equal-opportunity era, clueless aunties need a good pinning and ass-whooping to wise up.
Just as I rose to twist her wrist—
BAM!!
The second-floor window shattered explosively as a small, nimble shadow sliced through the air outside.
"......!"
A frantic scream erupted from outside.
"Thief! Thiiiief!!!"
The first floor turned to pandemonium. Martial artists drew weapons en masse. Soyoyo shrieked dramatically, burrowing into Seomun Cheol's arms.
"Kyaa! Gaga!"
"Tch! Which rat dares rampage in broad daylight?!"
Seomun Cheol bellowed, hugging her shoulders. Whatever. My dumpling was priority one. I grabbed the second with chopsticks and muttered casually.
"Wow, theft in broad daylight? Jianghu's got some nasty vibes. Right, auntie?"
"You bitch...!"
I winked mockingly at fuming Soyoyo and chomped my dumpling.
Thief could steal gold or jewels—who cares?
My worldly possessions were just Master's pink silk robes and jade toys anyway.
...Jade toys?
My jaw locked mid-chew.
Lightning struck my brain—a sinister hunch crawling up my spine.
Wait. That window the thief smashed through...
I glanced up. Second room from the end.
My room.
Memories flashed: Last night, hand-masturbating in the hall to their moans, too engrossed to check my stuff.
So where was the Divine Maiden Sect bundle I'd left neatly in the corner, untouched?
No way... I left the whole bag in there?!
Blood drained from my face. Cold sweat cascaded down my back.
"L-Lady Yeonhwa? Why so pale all of a sudden? Choked?"
Seomun Cheol fretted, but it fell on deaf ears. I dropped my dumpling and vaulted the table at beast speed.
"Where do you think you're—my words aren't done!"
Soyoyo lunged for my wrist, but I blew past her like air and bolted up the stairs.
BAM!!
I kicked the door open. My room was ransacked.
The corner bundle—my constant backpack since debut—was gone.
Inside: Magnetic Blood Jade dildo filling my lost Johnson's void, double-ended jade rods, and a mortifying array of bizarre bopa sorted by size.
"That crazy fuck stole that?!!"
Money or jewels? I'd shrug it off. But this thief took my social life.
If they opened it and spread the contents? [Breaking News] Divine Maiden Sect 32nd Leader Yeonhwa Revealed as Ultimate Pervert Hauling Dildos Galore...!
Dizzying. Might even get a Murim Alliance warrant for moral corruption.
"If I catch you, you're dead...! I'll rip off your limbs and stuff your mouth with those jade rods!!"
Rage blinding me, I hurled myself out the broken window.
Fwosh!
Soaring mid-air, I detonated Divine Maiden Sect inner energy from my dantian.
Divine Maiden Sect's supreme lightness skill, Unhae Yuryongbo.
True to its grand name "Cloud Sea Dragon Step," qi swirled elegantly under my toes on empty air.
Pink silk skirts fluttered gorgeously in the sunlight.
In a blink, my form blurred into afterimages, gliding dozens of zhang effortlessly.
Onlookers gawked at my ethereal flight.
"Ooh...! A fairy! A fairy's descended!"
"Every movement so noble and graceful—like a living painting!"
They swooned over my dragon-in-clouds qinggong.
"Lady Yeonhwaaa!! Where are you goinggg!!"
Seomun Cheol had dashed out the inn, arms outstretched skyward in anguish. Beside him, pale-faced Soyoyo stared blankly upward.
Th-that impossible divine technique...! What the hell is that bitch's real identity?!
Peak expert Soyoyo trembled in fear and shock—Yeonhwa's lightness skill rivaled her master's.
Yet inside that elegant beauty flaunting noble grace boiled volcanic killing intent to snap the thief's spine in half.
Wait, you thieving scum! I'll chase you to hell's end to reclaim my precious dildo... er, sect treasure!