Chapter 5
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Translator: penny
Chapter: 5
Chapter Title: Semen Man Rising (4)
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"Phew... Thank goodness."
The elves living in the forest still had bathroom culture.
Fancy natural stone tubs and showers with constantly warm water.
Given how much it resembled human customs, they must have picked up some influence from trading with merchant caravans back in the day.
For the first time, I was grateful for the tights' performance.
Fortunately, they were designed without issues for defecation.
That's when I first learned they had all sorts of functions to keep their pure white color spotless.
They don't get dirty even rolling on dirt floors, and they don't tear even if slashed by a knife.
They're so comfortable it's like not wearing anything at all. Like a second skin, almost.
But no matter how great the functions were, I couldn't just be thrilled about it.
I realized it for the first time while looking in the mirror in the bathroom Ellie had lent me.
'Is this me?'
What the hell is this monstrosity?
I'd expected a shocking visual from my outfit, but the mirror showed something beyond imagination.
Ellie treating a freak like me so kindly made her seem like an angel.
The tights made me look not just ugly, but downright ridiculous. If this was a superhero, his name would be something like "Semen Man."
But this pathetic "Semen Man" had no superpowers whatsoever.
...Except maybe one where his dick pops out of the tights when he gets erect!?
"Fuck..."
That damned goddess bitch...
Should I have at least learned her name?
I had no clue where to even start looking for her.
First off, I was worried about surviving in this world,
and who the hell would welcome someone looking like this?
Even if I made up some excuse like "I wore this just to be funny,"
no excuse would fly the moment my dick suddenly sprang out from a surprise erection.
Getting this far had been pure luck.
If the elves hadn't been so kind-hearted, I would've been... Whew.
"At least I don't have to shit myself. That's a relief."
For now, let's focus on the positives.
Solving the bathroom issue was a huge relief.
If I'd been filthy on top of looking like this, no one would come near me.
Even Ellie would freak out.
"Jae-hyeok. Towel."
As I stepped out of the tub, it had already gotten dim outside.
And there she was under the hazy lighting, dutifully rushing over with a towel.
Even her actions were cute...
I want to marry Ellie-chan.
"Thanks."
"Huh...? You're already dry."
"Whoa, you're right."
It absorbed the moisture in an instant, leaving me fluffy and dry.
Auto-dry function too?
"I didn't know either."
"Did it... work okay? You know, taking it off?"
"Ah... Yeah, that sorted itself out somehow."
Ellie must have been curious too.
How a guy in unremovable cursed tights handles bathroom breaks.
But since I said I was fine, she didn't pry further.
"Thanks, Ellie... You're the only one."
Ellie blushed, looking shy.
But Kana, who was sitting in a chair watching us, cut in like a bucket of cold water.
"Don't shamelessly latch onto Ellie being nice. She'd do the same for a wet puppy."
"It's just for one night, as Elder Arianelle said."
"Tch..."
Heh heh heh.
All hail the Elder.
Ellie and Kana, at home unarmed and dressed casually, were like walking pheromones.
Stretching and showing off sleek armpits,
or wandering around oblivious to my gaze, flashing thighs.
My dick was getting hard at the drop of a hat.
"When the hell does that thing go down?"
"You two keep stimulating it."
Kana scoffed. She didn't seem to know much about men's bodies.
"Stimulating how? We were just there."
"Any guy with you two would be the same. Clothes just hide it normally."
"The caravan humans I saw would sometimes give us sleazy looks too. You're just like them."
"Kana..."
Come to think of it, I had something to talk to Kana about.
"Did I make you miss those child kidnappers?"
"It just extended their lives by a day. I was gonna chase them down and kill them all. Oh, of course, I haven't given up yet."
She sounded so vicious.
But it came off more like a girl trying hard to look scary.
Kana didn't strike me as the type to slaughter people en masse. Her grumbling was proof of her sensitivity and fragility.
"Thanks again. I'd be dead without you."
"...Hmph."
"And I hope those fuckers get fucked too."
Kana, who had turned her head away, looked back at me.
"...They're humans like you?"
"Humans hate other humans too."
"Pfft. True. They're too busy fighting each other."
"It's true I was ogling you guys sleazily because you turn me on."
"Can't you phrase it nicer?"
No intention of hiding it.
Lying to elves wouldn't work anyway,
and with my dick out in the open, hiding my thoughts felt petty.
Whatever, fuck it. I'm horny. What're you gonna do?
"Honestly, I'm attracted to you two."
Just one stroke from "horny" turned it into something almost romantic.
"You get hard looking at me, at Ellie, at the Elder, at the Guard Captain? You sure get attracted to a lot of girls."
...Of course, that's only when my actions backed up the words.
"You're all hot!!"
Can't help it!
More importantly, how does she time my full erections so perfectly?
"It wouldn't be like this with other girls. It's because it's you, Kana, that it's this hard."
I wondered what the hell I was saying as I said it.
"Pervert. Eat your food."
Ellie, with an apron on, started setting the table.
Gurgle. My stomach growled the moment I saw it.
"Hungry, right, Jae-hyeok? Eat up."
"There's meat...!?"
Surprisingly... they're not vegan...!?
Elves!?
"Yeah, we eat meat too. Humans always seem shocked by that."
"I don't know who started it, but the rumor that elves only eat grass."
"Well, you guys have this nature-loving image, so it seems like you'd never hurt animal friends."
Kana sliced into her steak without hesitation.
"That's why we treasure every bit of meat on the bone, chew it thoroughly, and turn it into nutrients. That's the teaching of the Hunting Goddess Hipeia."
"I like the sound of that."
"Plus, think those tits got that big on veggies alone?"
"Ka, Kana..."
Ellie's chest jiggled as she shyly shifted her body.
....
The boobs answered for her.
Looking at these elves' tits and asses, no dog passing by would believe they were raised vegan.
"We don't breed animals just to eat them, but we love meat."
"Must be precious ingredients. I'll dig in."
"So polite, Jae-hyeok is."
"Too bad his outfit isn't as polite. Looks fine otherwise."
"...This is beyond my control."
Ha, delicious.
Ellie, you're number one bride candidate.
The hot soup made my body melt.
"Is this the umami from the veggies and mushrooms?"
"Yeah, I used mushrooms dried yesterday. I like cooking."
Ellie looked a bit shy.
She was overflowing with so-called feminine charm, pheromones, and those tits.
"You two live here together?"
"Can't you tell?"
"Sisters or something? Do elves have families?"
"Not sisters. Why do you care?"
If I said I was curious if they really popped out of trees, I'd get smacked, right?
"I know what you're thinking."
"I'm curious."
"Elves aren't obsessed with breeding like humans. We're not desperate for relationships either. ...Our lifespans are long, so kids are born occasionally."
"So you do give birth. By sexing with humans?"
"Shut up. Don't say gross stuff like that."
"Heh heh..."
Score. They do it with humans when the chance comes.
Kana glared at me.
"Don't think you'll ever have sex with me, not even if you die. Stop grinning like an idiot."
"Hee hee hik."
"Don't laugh creepily either."
Ah, what a waste not to have passionate mating with a body like that.
It's a tremendous loss.
I wanted to show this innocent elf just how passionately humans can fuck.
"Then I'll ask one too. Do you think about buying elves with money?"
"Kana?!"
Oh.
This must be a sensitive topic in the elf world.
Ellie looked pale trying to stop her.
Hm, yeah, elves would be prime merchandise for slave traders.
I get why rich guys would want to buy them. But...
"No, obviously they're not selling themselves willingly."
"Of course not. No elf sells herself willingly. They all lost their homes and got captured."
"Relationships between men and women are best based on love. Not buying and selling with money."
To me, it was close to genuine, no need for pretense.
"I don't want to hang out with guys who like human trafficking. Or child-touchers."
"...Hm. Okay."
"Mm."
Questions over?
Kana suddenly dropped her edge and tossed out,
"Not eating? This is good too."
"Alright. Ellie, can I have seconds?"
"Sure!"
Ellie happily refilled my bowl,
and I felt happy watching her scamper off.
Dat ass tho.
Isekai life ain't so bad.
I worried at first without a smartphone, but face-to-face talks feel denser now.
The only painful thing left unresolved was my throbbing erection.
That night.
Ellie came out with spare bedding and prepared my sleeping spot.
Kneeling, she glanced up at my erect dick and said,
"Is that... okay...?"
"...It's pretty rough."
Cowper's fluid leaking steadily.
"Sorry for dirtying the floor."
"N-no... It's fine..."
Ellie wiped the floor like mopping, with a slight smile.
"It's just a bodily function."
Ah, so cute.
I want her as my bride...
"Cover with this and sleep."
"Thanks."
The moment I took the blanket from Ellie and draped it over.
-(Cursed Item) Cannot layer additional clothing.
-(Cursed Item) Cannot layer additional clothing.
-(Cursed Item) Cannot layer additional clothing.
"Ah."
An ominous message, and then the wind blew.
Whooooosh!
"Kyaaah!!"
Ellie got swept up in the gale and tumbled across the floor.
In just 3 seconds, the room was a disaster zone.
I want to die...
"Sorry. I'll clean it up."
"N-no... It's my fault for not thinking ahead."
Fucking hell, these goddamn tights...
I cursed the goddess who did this to me while helping tidy up.
Kana, fresh from washing up, was shocked.
"...What happened?"
"Ahaha... Nothing."
So heartbreaking.
Repaying a benefactor's kindness with enmity.
"Sorry, Ellie."
"Don't feel down. It's okay. We can just clean up the mess."
"Ugh. Idiot."
That night.
As I tossed and turned, sighing...
In the darkness,
...Ellie quietly whispered and crawled over on all fours.
"Shh."