Chapter 30
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Translator: penny
Chapter: 30
Chapter Title: Semen Man, Awakening
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...Pursuers?
The first possibility that came to mind was betrayal by the Shadow Guild.
There were just too many suspicious things about it.
Intuitively speaking, there wasn't a single reason to trust human traffickers.
In fact, I hadn't trusted them at all.
But if the Shadow Guild had wanted me dead, it would've been easier to surround me forcibly at a checkpoint or something.
Yet Kana and I had been flirting, eating, and hanging out until deep into the night with no sign of anyone chasing us.
If there had been an ambush or constant tracking, we definitely would've noticed before entering the forest.
Once I thought that far, nothing explained it except "Goddess Descent."
'Hipeia?'
Kana belatedly sensed the divine presence too and turned around.
"Jae-hyeok?"
"Just in case, get ready for battle."
Kana grabbed her bow and went on alert.
A moment later, light poured down like a waterfall not far from us.
'A real goddess descent?'
Holy light.
I was awestruck by the blinding radiance that could sear the eyes.
Soon after, knights cloaked in jet-black capes assembled before us.
The capes bore unknown emblems, and they wore matte black alloy armor that didn't reflect light.
'Different from the guild's armor.'
Light armor layered over finely polished leather that made no sound when they moved.
Though they all wore half-helms covering their faces, some had long hair spilling out, and from their overall builds and silhouettes, I could tell this was an all-female group.
"What the hell."
Kana sounded flustered.
"Who are you guys?"
"Did the Shadow Guild send you? Huh? Even after I soaked you a few times?"
It was my attempt at humor to lighten the mood,
but they didn't laugh or respond.
"......"
Thud. Thud.
A figure who seemed to be the commander emerged from the thick underbrush.
Something felt off...
Even enveloped in this immense light, they looked like assassins.
"You've saved us the trouble of tracking you to the elf village."
Those were the commander's first words.
"Who are you? What are you talking about?"
"We have no name to reveal to vermin like you."
'Hostiles!'
"Kana. Head to the elf village and warn them of intruders. Thanks to the tights, I can hold out alone."
"B-but."
"Go, quick!"
Kana nodded and leaped away instantly.
"Pursue her."
The commander sent her subordinates, moving at such insane speeds I couldn't even think to stop them.
'What the fuck are these guys.'
"What the hell is this? If you've got a problem, say it. Huh?"
"We have nothing to say to you."
"Did a goddess send you?"
I had to draw some kind of reaction. Figure out anything.
"That big-titted purple-haired bitch, right? Fuck, she looked so rapeable!"
"......"
Suit level has risen
No chance to fluidize—I got hit and sent flying back.
I only realized it was the commander's fist after crashing into a tree, my throat crushed in her grip.
Incredible power and speed. Without the tights, I'd have choked or snapped my neck!
"Your very existence is blasphemy. She's not someone for the likes of you to defile with your mouth."
"Kek, dunno. She talked to me right in front of me? Said she liked me and suggested a date next time."
"Even your desperate flailing is kinda pitiful at this point."
Grk, grrrk.
I had to buy time until Kana got away.
Dangerous. I could feel the tights already defending at max strength, yet they were creaking.
This bitch, how strong is she!!
"Fine. I'll enlighten your ignorant mind. I'll tell you the name of your executing judge."
"Judge my ass...!"
Damn! She pinned me with one hand so I couldn't move because she's a woman?
Not even some technical choke.
With her free hand, she casually removed her helm, revealing—not that I want to admit it—a damn pretty face.
No, an angelically beautiful face.
She exuded nobility like she'd never done a dirty deed in her life, totally goddess's side material.
Kind eyes. Her abundant, long silver hair contrasted strikingly with the dark armor, making her even prettier.
"Now, die."
I knew she'd swung to kill only after it connected.
Tremendous vibration.
It slammed my head back, shattering the tree from the shockwave.
First punch this brutal, maybe...
"That all you got?"
But.
I felt relieved. I'd confirmed the suit's defense was unbreakable.
Nerissa's eyebrow twitched.
"Too bad? Was gonna pose all cool before killing you, but it ain't working."
"Tough one. As expected of vermin... your vitality."
Thud! Thwack! Boom!!
Nerissa pinned me with her left hand and hammered me with right-hand punches repeatedly.
My vision shook, my head felt like it'd rip off from the impacts.
'A bit dizzy, but...'
It didn't hurt. If anything, taking impacts beyond the limit was leveling up the suit nonstop.
'Damn, huge level gap.'
Even a goddess's lackey is this strong?
But she couldn't finish me either.
Her eyes showed slight hesitation on how to kill someone unmoved by full-power punches.
"You lot, go. Hunt them down and kill every last one."
"Yes, Captain!"
"What...!?"
Massacre order? Are these psychos for real?
As I twisted to escape, the captain pinned me harder and glared.
"You, I'll kill personally."
"Ha, sending your minions 'cause you think you can't?"
"......"
"Got it. You love posing. Don't wanna look like you're struggling in front of them?"
The moment her subordinates left,
Nerissa snapped and started pummeling me.
"Urk! Gah! Ugh!"
"What I hate most are guys like you. Vulgar, big mouths, and male!"
"The last one's straight-up discrimination!!"
"I hate men! Those who look at Goddess and me with filthy eyes."
Good that she released the pin to beat me with both hands,
but her combos were pro boxer-level; I was getting wrecked.
Even shell-guarding with both arms, her small fists drilled like awls, shaking me up.
And the power felt like cannon fire. Punching power rivaling a heavyweight champ?
No pain, but the shock transferred fully, crumbling my balance,
even giving the illusion of suffocation.
No, not an illusion.
In combat, human oxygen demand spikes up to 20x normal.
Running's 10x—extreme fights stress the body insanely.
My body was at stress limit from the pressure.
A normal person would've shattered and turned to mush ages ago.
The tights were forcibly keeping me going.
Still...
'Me tying this one down is the better play...!!'
I could judge that much.
Couldn't fight cool, but knew it was right.
Ellin, Kana, Captain.
Ah, my fuckbuddy elf elder too.
Whatever, I was silently yelling for them not to get caught, run if needed.
I'll hold this captain!!
"I'll admit it. You're sturdy. Astonishingly so. No wonder Goddess was wary."
"Haha. Say I'm rock-hard?"
"But your stamina seems to be dropping. Got a limit?"
"Who knows..."
I didn't know the tights' limit.
Tanking tree-shattering hits for over ten minutes unscathed? Maybe impact-immune.
"Wanna test?"
Dick Fighting Manual Improved
Suit level risen | High Elasticity Mode | Accumulating Memory
The tights' special fibers trembled like vibrations.
I didn't know why, but only I seemed to feel it.
"What's that look?"
"......"
"We are the Goddess's proxies. Show respect befitting her knight order!!"
Here it comes!
No matter how fast the fists, after 10 minutes, you get used to them.
If I'm taking hits anyway, I can reach!
Whoosh!!
Nerissa mocked my punch, countering and slipping away.
Makes no sense—even my reach is longer!
Mid-punch, she landed two on my face before evading. Our speed gap was insane.
'...Tights' trembling is intensifying...'
I had potential.
Enough to KO Captain Esilwin—who matched Biska— in one hit.
But for some reason, that power hid against ridiculous foes like now.
'To attack, drop fluidization. To endure without falling, need high elasticity.'
In other words...
Fuse both modes—switch fluidly in combat!
"Realizing you can't escape and overthinking?"
"......"
"Next attack ends you. Tired of playing."
Nerissa drew her sword.
Honestly, scared shitless.
"Think you're the only one with a serious mode? I got one too."
"......"
"Semen Man Serious Mode!"
Here it comes.
Nerissa glared like no joking around,
and I had no counter in mind, just gripping my dominant hand.
'Don't get greedy. Admit the skill gap—she can graze without touching skin.'
...Target the sword!
First charged attack—too fast for my reflexes.
Fluidize to deflect, then when she panics prepping follow-up.
Resolidify, grab the sword or whatever, drag to ground.
'Good. Go!'
"Haat!"
Fluidization
Body phases through solid matter
Swoosh!!
Nerissa's full-power slash passed right through me.
"What?!"
Flustered, Nerissa tried reversing for a late second strike.
I was already prepped mentally to switch to high elasticity.
She knew from my eyes.
That I was baiting a reversal counter.
'But I'm targeting the sword...!!'
Confidence it wouldn't cut me.
Cheat trait of no damage even if hit.
Using both, the instant I reached for the weapon snatch.
Whirl!
Nerissa retracted, spun like a top, repositioned, and slashed low-to-high.
Fuck! She wields that sword like a pro!
Not two strikes—two-and-a-half!!
Tempo broken, stance collapsed—blade rushed my gut. Then.
Clang!!
"?"
Nerissa stared puzzled at her bounced sword.
"Told you... Serious Mode?"
I struck a pose, flipping nonexistent hair back, thrusting my erect dick forward.
『Supreme Holy Sword: Erect Dick』
It had deflected Nerissa's sword.
"......So... hard..."
"Oh, thanks."
"...?!"
Nerissa grimaced in humiliation.
"Filth. Forget what I said."
"Nah, your words."
"Just stating it's actually hard."
"Say it's harder."
It hardens.
Even harder.
Good. Time for Dick Thrust?
"Dick Thrust!!"
I charged dick-first; Nerissa recoiled in horror.
Couldn't approach easily, as expected.
"Don't even think of touching me with that vile thing."
'Tch...'
She smacked my upper body away; no choice.
My dick's huge, but not sword-length.
Her tip control blocked approaches.
"How about this?"
I bridged back into a reverse plank.
"?"
Nerissa paled at my antics.
『Dick Gun Mode』
"......Ri... di... cu... lous."
I moved grotesquely in eight directions, dick antenna erect, closing in.
"Kyaaah! Stay away!!"
"My life for yours—."
Clang! Clang! Clang!
Surprisingly, bridge mode limited her strikes to thighs or dick,
making it decent sword defense.
Plus, turning the posing "goddess proxy" bitch into a screaming girl? Mental victory.
"Why's it so hard... Not even a scratch from my sword?!"
"Semen Fire!!"
Dick upright, I yelled,
her guard fully on it—then.
I fluidized under her, switching to high elasticity for explosive speed: Semen Man Tackle!!
Thud!!
Finally toppled Nerissa.
"Don't touch my body!"
Her divine aura swelled massively.
No chance to act—kicked flying out.
'Had mount position...'
Physical enhancement? Casually overpowered...
"Now it's really over!"
I didn't guard, went on offense.
No choice.
Had to.
Punch thrust like unleashing built-up tension.
At its tip.
Something exploded.
Boom!
"Kyaaak!"
Nerissa flew into a tree.
'This attack...'
That's it.
...Whatever it was.
"True Serious Mode..."
I slapped a name on it since even I didn't know.
"Y-you bastard!"
Nerissa charged.
This bitch suddenly slowed?
Staggering like the captain back then.
Something wrong with her equilibrium, somehow.
Deflected punches I couldn't before, gaining advantage.
"What."
She seemed oblivious in excitement.
To how weakened she was.
Tights trembling again.
Like pre-cum dripping from a rape-ready erect dick.
"Feel it? This trembling."
"Die!"
Tights 《Vibrating》......
Stumbling Nerissa, balance lost.
Like fighting on a surfing board on water.
For the first time, I thought this power might be like the 'Shake-Shake Fruit'.
...Earthquake control, no—vibration mastery.
'But if it had that, I'd have known sooner.'
Assumed illusion since I couldn't.
Wasn't unable—misunderstood usage. Tights had been teaching.
My tights store hits as vibration energy.
Like virtual 『Vibration Memory』.
Each hit: 10 shock, 100, 1000.
Accumulate exactly?
Release at once—not reflex glove style.
That spits energy back weakly.
True way:
Store hits, burst vibration energy instantly...!!
"Hnnngh!!"
Yes—tights with 『1000 energy』 from beatings: invincible.
"Take the hit and die, punch!!!"
KABOOM!!
Just 70% of the humiliation from my beating,
sonic boom shook the forest.
"Agh!"
Nerissa dropped her sword, armor half-shattered, slammed to ground.
Fucking cathartic.
I posed like a kung fu master, savoring the afterglow, clenching fist, long exhale.
Fuuuuh.
"Sex."