Chapter 12
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Translator: penny
Chapter: 12
Chapter Title: Semen Human (2)
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I grabbed a nearby chair and sat down facing the woman, with the backrest between us.
Like some laid-back, experienced jailer I'd seen somewhere before.
"What the hell is that?"
"Semen Man. Why?"
"Ahahaha!"
Wasn't the silent type your gimmick?
Damn, she bursts out laughing every time I say it.
"No, what I was asking about was... that outfit."
"We're not close enough for that yet, are we?"
Protect my sensitive privacy!
As I freaked out, she bit her lip and caught her breath.
"Fair point."
Her tits are fucking huge.
Are all the women here like this?
The woman I'd thought looked like an angel with her eyes closed now bared her fangs like a beast.
Silver-gray hair with one side of her forehead exposed, a scar at the corner of her mouth.
Eyes like a wolf ready to bite.
Her whole body screamed that she hadn't lived on sword fodder for nothing.
Probably mid-to-late twenties. She felt like a veteran adventurer.
I hoped this woman would help me out.
Honestly, I knew next to nothing about this world,
and elves were just as clueless about the outside world.
"So, what brings Semen Man here?"
"That was a joke."
"It suits you too well for a joke."
I thought so too.
Since the wording "Semen Human" wouldn't leave my head.
"Anyway, join the Elf Peace Delegation."
"Delegation?"
"Just go tell them we have no intention of fighting. I've even got paid for it, so I'll hire you."
She smirked when I showed her the gem pouch.
"Showing a money pouch to a mercenary who was on the enemy side until just now and telling her to come along? Want a knife in the back?"
"You don't seem the type. I trust you."
"Baseless trust is worth less than a sheet of paper."
True to a seasoned mercenary, she didn't just take people at their word.
But since I'd basically handed her all the advantage, she wouldn't say she was going to kill me here.
This was like me deciding to take on the risk.
"I'm an outsider. I've only known these elves for a few days."
She didn't grill me on why I'd joined that battle or anything.
She just listened quietly.
"Frankly, you're no different from the elves from my perspective. No experience to judge if you're trustworthy, but I have to pick someone."
"And why me?"
"You risked your life working for trash like that. I like that professional spirit."
That was my reasoning.
"My name's Jeong Jae-hyeok."
"...Jeong? Jong-chae? Hard to pronounce."
Huh? The elves said it fine.
Maybe the suit's AI translation had limits on phonetic structures I didn't know about?
"Call me White."
"That feels too casual. I'm your employer, after all."
"White?"
"White... Yeah, whatever."
Better than Whitey or Semen Man.
If a local thought White was better, I should go with that instinct.
Stubbornly sticking to my Korean name might make me not fit in.
"I'm Biska."
"Good. Biska, so we're in a contract now?"
Biska rattled the handcuffs tied to her wrist demonstratively.
Clink clink.
"These. You should unlock them. Master?"
"OK."
I unlocked them coolly, and Biska's fist slammed into my gut.
Thud!!
"Ack!"
"You don't trust people that easily."
Whoa, her punch packs a wallop...
"Ugh, urk..."
"Want to get backstabbed and robbed blind?"
"You too..."
I straightened up from my crouch and smoothly pulled out the black T-panties she was barely wearing.
Heh heh!!
Don't underestimate Semen Man!
"Ah!?"
Panty-less Biska patted her butt in panic.
"Aren't you underestimating Semen Man too much?"
"You bastard..."
"Reason two. I like Biska's generous cleavage and big ass."
"That's not a reason, that's a preference..."
"I'll be eyeing you for sex anytime."
I popped a boner and blatantly sniffed her panties. Sniff, sniiiiff.
Perverted payback for that punch!
She looked a bit shocked at the sight of me sniffing her just-worn stinky panties,
"I was wrong to punch you, so give them back."
Biska surrendered.
"Heh."
I win, right?
"How'd you think to yank them off right away."
Actually, I'd planned to say, "You trust someone right after hiring them?"
In a way, Biska and I were on the same wavelength.
"Doesn't matter if the employer's a pervert, right? Contract's sealed now."
"...Got it. But selling my body isn't an option. I deal in skill only."
"Hmm, how about this. No more armor from now on. Fight with those tits and ass out."
Biska looked up at me after hearing my pervy demand.
Are you serious?
Her eyes said.
"There are light armor styles, but you're the first employer to demand it for such blatant reasons."
"Hee hee."
Swish.
Biska slipped her panties back on right in front of me.
"Fighting like this is actually best. Heh heh."
"Who fights in just underwear?"
Even in just underwear, she stood tall with proud posture.
Facing her like this, her big tits, small pretty face,
slim waist leading to thick healthy thighs—all in view. Pure bliss.
Definite beauty!
Too much of a waste to hide in armor.
"No regrets hiring a merc like me?"
"What's a merc like you?"
"The kind who does anything for money. The scum of mercenaries with no honor."
"As long as you're on my payroll, just protect me. Simple."
I decided not to sweat it.
We'd lived totally different lives until moments ago.
Put simply, our values were worlds apart.
Biska judged by this world's common sense,
but "I'm glad I can take you along. Looking forward to working with you."
I held out my hand.
Was this greeting rude?
I wondered, but the handshake seemed normal enough.
Not sure if she fully agreed at the end, but she accepted for now.
"Let's head to the lodging."
I guided Biska to my friends'—no, prospective bride candidates'—house.
"You said you were going to the Elder's room, why so la—"
Kana opened the door and slammed it shut again.
"Kana."
A moment later.
Kana opened the door with her bow drawn, glaring at Biska right in her face.
"Who are you? Why are you with him?"
"Whoa, whoa. Calm down. The Captain gave me a mission, and I needed this one, so I brought her."
"...Mission?"
"And you too."
I pointed at Kana.
"You're coming with me."
"?"
"I'll explain inside."
I took Biska's hand and went in. Kana watched in stunned disbelief.
"Ellie, say something."
"Huh? Oh, a guest."
"That's her. The human merc in black armor fighting on their side."
"She's not an enemy now, right?"
Ellie greeted Biska with a bright smile.
"Hello."
"Now I'm the weird one."
Biska gave a light nod in greeting,
and we all sat around the table. Kana crossed her arms,
like she was waiting to see what I'd say.
"Alright. Introductions. These two elves are my prospective brides."
"Who is!"
"Eek."
"......"
"And this is the merc I just hired, Biska."
"Where'd you get the money..."
"Got it."
Right then, I noticed my pouch felt empty.
I remembered I'd given it to Biska.
"Oh, Biska's handling the money. Show them."
Biska plunked the gem pouch on the table with a thud, and Kana gasped.
"Y-You already handed all our savings to some strange woman!?"
"Not all, but yeah, it is. Anyway, they said if this mission goes well, I might get to live in the elf village."
"Really?! That's great, Jae-hyeok!"
Ellie clapped and cheered.
"The Elder seems to favor you a lot. Almost a record, right?"
"Need someone to deliver the lost wagons to the merchant guild and clear up misunderstandings. Captain said you're perfect for it, Kana."
"What about Ellie?"
"Guard the house."
"Hmm..."
"I'm fine. Scary to go out. You two have a safe trip. Three with Ms. Biska?"
Biska just listened quietly.
"What makes you trust one human? She fought to protect that trash; she's got plenty to hide."
"But her skills are good."
"......"
"After this mission, I plan to marry Kana and Ellie."
Huh?
Saying it out loud felt like a death flag.
"W-Who said you could! Hah, unbelievable. The Elder too..."
"Jae-hyeok likes us too...♥"
I'd said it just to see Kana screech,
but surprisingly, neither hated the marriage talk.
Wait?
Blushing and giving me that "you jerk..." look after I declared I'd marry both—
isn't that straight out of some wish-fulfillment ero manga?
Brain glitch for a sec.
"Wait. You guys okay with this? I was joking... no, a joke dead serious."
"What? Joke or serious?"
"If I had to pick, serious."
"......You're weird. Suddenly clinging to elves you just met, saying you like them. Weird."
Biska smirked in agreement.
"Yeah, he is weird."
"And that's why you like it?"
"Well... What girl hates a guy who wants her that bad."
My old common sense crumbled.
"I got no house, no money though?"
"We have a house, and money's not needed..."
Kana said, a bit shy now.
"As long as your body's fine... Hey, wait. Now it sounds like I'm begging!"
"......"
This otherworld... might be pretty good...?
They were beyond cool—chill as hell. Makes sense in a world with life-or-death battles.
Men and women promising forever young, no second thoughts, rolling in the sheets romantically? Plausible.
"You okay? I said some harsh stuff."
Kana suddenly looked so pretty.
Post-marriage talk, she seemed to try acting the dutiful bride. Cute.
"Maybe I'll just marry Ellie then."
Kana's eyes turned murderous.
"Joking! Just joking."
"Don't think you can ditch me and take just Ellie."
That's Kana, feisty.
"Alright. Ready to head out? Biska, any questions?"
Biska, who'd been watching us, spoke up.
"Nah. Mission details haven't changed."
"Huh?"
Biska smirked, curling one lip.
"In short, protect you till you marry a bunch of elves, right?"
"......"
"......"
We all looked at each other.
"Yeah, pretty much."
It really was.
From Biska's view, the mission was unchanged.
"Pfft, ahaha."
Ellie laughed. The situation was bizarre.
Me on Craig's level? No way!
"Objection! Ellie and Kana are full adults mentally and physically! Not kids!"
"Papa. Just keep calling me 'papa' like you said?"
As Kana started acting, my face heated up.
"Uwaaaah. Damn. You're all grown up—don't do weird acting. Trying to make me a criminal?"
"Having our happy wedding? Papa?"
"It's not a sham marriage!!"
"......Better than the original client, at least. That guy was a real asshole. Felt good watching him get beat."
Biska reminisced about dead Craig.
"You saw?"
"Some employers deserve a beating."
"I'll protect you before you hit me. Preferably in your underwear."
Swish.
Biska, comfy in her panties, lifted one leg on the chair and turned to me.
Her ample jiggling breasts and inner thigh flashed, making me flinch.
"Okay in front of the wives?"
"She's always like that."
Kana brushed it off.
"Honest pervert. Everything he says without thinking is dead serious."
Ellie chimed in.
"And we like that honesty."
"Don't say unnecessary stuff, Ellie!"
Ahh. This is paradise.
"Anyway, got it. Same mission twice, can't fail again. Tell me when we leave."
"Rest here. We'll go once your wounds heal."
"Up to the elf hosts. I'm used to roughing it. Don't mind me."
Eye contact.
Kana turned away like "do what you want,"
basically permission. Ellie smiled sweetly.
"I'll bring food. Bathroom's free too. Biska."
Biska was accepted as a guest.
"Thanks then."
Biska stripped and headed to the bath immediately.
Flung clothes everywhere, strutting her proud big ass.
Yeah, I picked the right merc.