Chapter 11
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Translator: penny
Chapter: 11
Chapter Title: Semen Human
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Esilwin showed me a carefully sealed letter and various precious metals.
"This letter contains the Elder's regrets over the recent incident."
"And there's some sparkly stuff too."
"Travel costs money, as you know. I've packed enough that you'll still have some left even after exchanging a few."
"I just have to deliver it in person?"
"That's right."
It seemed like a simple errand.
Among the caravan wagons, there had been a sleazy slave trader who'd been caught trying to do business with young elves.
The elves had dealt with him on the spot.
They confiscated all the wagons and compensated for the damages incurred.
The elf Elder...
Something like that, probably.
But why me?
"If someone like me shows up in a human village looking like this, they might just shoot me full of arrows on sight."
"You can communicate, can't you? Elves fluent in the common tongue are rare on our side. Especially those who can read and are familiar with human society."
"I'm not familiar with it at all..."
They even shoved jewels into my hands.
Why entrust such an important task to a total outsider like me?
"If I screw this up, it could lead to misunderstandings piling up and spark a war. Why me for something this crucial...?"
"It must mean the Elder trusts you that much. You had a chance to speak with her yourself, didn't you?"
"Hmm... Come to think of it, she seemed like she wanted to say something each time, but I kept shoving my dick in her mouth to clean it..."
"......"
"......"
Anyway.
I took the pouch.
"Looks like you appreciated the Elder's kindness last night."
"Of course! I'd love to do it every day!!"
"Don't get the wrong idea, outsider."
She somehow reminded me of Kana.
Esilwin crossed her arms and looked at me.
"But from now on, it might actually be possible."
"You mean our relationship gets even better? With you too, Captain?"
"Well... This is a big issue for us. If you handle it smoothly..."
"Let me fuck your ass then."
"What."
Esilwin pushed me away as I approached, looking burdened.
"Wh-what are you doing."
"Let me fuck your ass. Promise me that, and I'll do it."
"Who'd make a promise like that!"
"You have to promise at least that much."
I'm pushing hard!
"As proof that we're getting closer, right?"
"What, asking for money like some normal human wouldn't cut it...?"
"No way it'd match the value of a busty elf wife."
"......You're definitely the most brazen human I've ever met."
Esilwin seemed flustered.
"And the fact that you're being completely honest just makes it more ridiculous."
If I had even 1% of guilt nagging at me inside, Esilwin's attitude would have been ice-cold.
But I was dead serious.
I genuinely thought that if Esilwin promised anal, I'd gladly take on any hassle.
When it came to lust, I was 100% sincere.
"I can't promise that... I don't even know you that well. No sex..."
My dick sprang out.
Full erection.
"......Why does that pop out."
"Couldn't help it with the Captain's pure reaction."
"Don't you have two elves you're close to? I'll talk to them about letting you live together."
"Can I marry Ellie and Kana?!"
Wait. This is huge?
Two elf wives out of nowhere? I'd never even imagined such a blissful future.
But it's possible?
Just for this one...
mail delivery job!?
I might be jumping the gun, but Esilwin didn't shoot down my rosy vision.
"The Elder's policy has always been consistent. Elves and humans must coexist and prosper together...
So we can't reject them too harshly either."
"Marriage too!?"
"If the first human to risk his life for elf children becomes that pioneer, it wouldn't be bad for us. But..."
Esilwin spoke like a warning.
"The fiery love you kindle here will only last as long as your human lifespan holds out.
Elves are long-lived... The gap in our lifespans will hit you with far more loneliness than you imagine."
"Whoa, fuck. Then the guys who lived here must've been fucking young elf wives happily right up until they died, huh?"
That's awesome...!!
"You're excited already, and they haven't even agreed yet."
"I'll work hard to make them say yes!"
Esilwin let it slide without arguing.
As if she didn't want to shatter my dreams and fantasies.
But in my head, I was already picturing myself with Kana and Ellie on both arms.
Fantasy unfolding.
「Hee hee, Jae-hyeok. Wanna sleep with me tonight?」
「Hey! Ellie, no!! You got four rounds yesterday. I get more today. Right, hubby?」
「Then let's do it together! How's that?」
Heh heh. Heh heh heh.
The problem was the lecherous grin on the white-tights pervert at the center.
Whatever.
Living with elf wives in a place this far from the world's filth didn't sound bad at all.
"Oh, will Ellie or Kana come with me on this mission?"
"Probably one of them. We need a witness to prove you're going with an elf."
Kana? Ellie?
Or the Captain?
"I have to stay and guard here."
"Then... if you had to pick one, who'd you recommend, Captain?"
"Kana. Ellie's skilled, but she's so kind it worries me she might get duped by people."
Fair point.
This mission wasn't exactly a friendly outing with humans,
so Kana's strong wariness might suit it better. She'd protect me if things went south.
"Kana's got drive. I think she'll surpass me soon enough."
"Even Kana's just a kid to you, huh, Captain..."
"Our ages are worlds apart."
Alright.
Time to play the righteous peace envoy and clear up any potential misunderstandings between elves and humans?
I started off on good terms with the elves, but I hadn't earned enough to settle in as a full member yet.
Two elf wives!!
This adventure was worth the risk.
Plus, these tights—no laundry needed, self-cleaning, easy movement,
and functionally ideal. No issues during sex either.
Especially weird was how they blocked blades.
I learned from yesterday's fight that the defense extended to exposed body parts too.
"And before you head out, show your face around if you can."
"Pardon?"
"I'm curious about that outfit, and I could help with some training."
So it did bother her?
"It's got faint divine power, but no ordinary weapon could pierce it. I can tell."
"For real? What's divine power?"
"The power of a god dwelling in an object. Just a hunch, but that suit defies this world's laws."
This ridiculous full-body white tights is a divine artifact?
I'd heard the term in novels and games.
It felt more cursed than legendary, though...
For now, the "can't take it off at will" part was the real killer.
"It definitely offends earthly aesthetics pretty badly."
"Use it right, and you could get stronger."
"Stronger?"
You can get stronger.
Hearing that encouragement outside a game really drove home that I'd come to another world.
"You have to get strong to survive. Elf world or human world, it's the same."
"Getting strong in this suit still sounds ridiculous."
"How about giving it a proud name?"
The Captain was a real idea machine.
"Whatever we call it, it'll sound funny."
"Have some confidence."
"Semen Man?"
"Pfft! Snrk!"
Esilwin burst out laughing immediately.
"See? Hilarious, right?"
"No, try again. I can hold it."
"Semen Human."
"Ah ha...! AHAHA...! You can't include 'semen' in it...!"
Ke ke keuk.
That goddess—if I meet her again, we'll talk.
How the hell do you slap pride onto this blindingly white suit for a name?
I'm one lonely sperm.
One Semen Human!!
"Anything else you need?"
"Oh yeah."
Something suddenly came to mind.
"How's your wound? That guy was pretty tough."
"Mm. He was."
"What happened to him? Did you turn him into world tree fertilizer like Craig?"
"No, only Craig got the instant execution. He's in a cell. He seems lucid now, but he doesn't want to talk to anyone."
"Maybe the guards were speaking Elvish?"
Esilwin gave me a steady look.
"Kidding."
"We'll release him once his wounds heal. It's already starting to knit, though.
Not easy for a human to train their body to that level in their short lifespan."
Respect for the enemy.
That's the vibe in Esilwin's tone.
"Mind if I talk to him?"
"Not if it's to sexually harass him."
"What do you take me for?"
Throb, throb.
Esilwin glanced at my erect cock.
"......"
"...This is from our earlier talk."
"Lasts a while, huh."
"Thanks for the compliment."
"...Wasn't meant as one."
It hadn't been that urgent before yesterday, but now I wanted to meet him once.
Her strong older-sis beauty stuck in my mind, sure.
But hearing about the mission made me realize one elf guard might not cut it.
I lacked info on human society.
I'm from a whole other world, but
I hadn't explained that to Esilwin or the other elves.
They probably saw me as just "from another country."
So it'd help to have someone brief me on where I was heading.
Any info from his mouth would be gold.
...On that rational basis, I decided to visit the prison.
"Alright, I'll have a chat with him."
"Go ahead."
I took the prison key from Esilwin.
"Talk to him yourself. Won't be easy to get him talking."
That sparked a bit of curiosity.
Would he really stay silent?
Even with a head-to-toe white semen human walking into his cell?!
"......"
Entering the cell where the prisoner was held.
A silver-haired woman in shackles, head bowed in exhaustion.
Suddenly felt a pang of pity.
She lifted her head slightly...
Her eyes screamed volumes, but her lips stayed sealed.
"?"
Tremble tremble.
Her shoulders shook.
Fuck? She's holding back laughter?
This shackled prisoner sees someone and desperately stifles a laugh?
"It's fine. Laugh."
I said in a gentle voice.
"I'm used to it. Go on, laugh."
"Puh. Puheuk... Kkh... Kuhk......"
"Don't laugh, fuck!!!"
Bam!!
Hitting the bars hurt my hand.
"Keurk."
She finally burst out laughing at my antics.
The elf guard outside peeked in curiously,
so I gestured 'it's fine, all good, nothing happened.'
"......"
Information gathering—no, interrogation begins.
"Kekeke......"
But with the prisoner cracking up at the interrogator.
Off to a shitty start.
Even pulling a stern face, I was just one semen human.
'Whew, alright. Let's start calm.'
"Done laughing?"