Chapter 352
Chapter 352
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Translator: Ryuma
Chapter: 352
Chapter Title: To Myself (3)
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Turning the disaster back into a human.
That was the answer the Great Sage, Cardi van Armiel, had sought for centuries. Yet it was the one answer he could never find.
And so.
"The ending where the disaster turns back into a human."
Cardi's body went rigid at those words from the Raniel from the future. His eyes shook violently. Because he had believed it impossible.
No possibility. Impossible.
That's what he had thought.
What he had deemed an unattainable dream.
What he had abandoned over centuries, shedding all lingering regrets... Someone was saying it was possible. Cardi swallowed hard.
It took a long time for that swallowed breath to be exhaled again. Breathing out slowly, very slowly, Cardi listened to the words of the Goddess of Ashes.
◇◇◇◆◇◇◇ "...Sorry to say this."
She spoke.
"But it's only possible because variables gathered with other variables."
This was originally impossible.
Only in this case, where variables converged, was it feasible. It was tantamount to telling Cardi, Your case will remain impossible. It felt that way... but.
"So, in your case, Cardi..."
"Doesn't matter. Keep talking."
None of that mattered.
Cardi cut off her words curtly as she looked back at him. It truly didn't matter. The mere existence of even a sliver of possibility was enough to satisfy him.
"Tell me."
That was sufficient.
◇◇◇◆◇◇◇ 2.
The Raniel from the future began her tale.
The method to turn Kyle back into a human.
It was a method with ample clues, yet one the current Raniel could never conceive. Only the Goddess of Ashes, who had endured thirteen years of hell, could think of it.
Because she had walked through hell.
Because she had become a god(?) and touched the truth.
Because she had learned and realized so much.
Because she had become the Hero and understood the Hero's essence.
Thus, the possibility she could reach.
As she voiced that possibility now, she couldn't help but let out a laugh. She had no choice. Those thirteen years she had lived as the Hero—those hellish years—had not been meaningless. She could feel it.
The explanation continued for a while.
When her story ended, Cardi was wiping his face, chuckling softly. In a trembling voice, he murmured.
"It existed after all. Truly, truly..."
Groaning, Cardi bowed his head.
He was smiling. Not a smile of enlightenment, nor one laced with scorn. Like a boy who had reclaimed his dream, Cardi smiled purely.
"Thank you, thank you, Raniel..."
Watching Cardi murmur those words, the Goddess of Ashes fell silent. What surfaced in her mind was Cardi's final appearance from the past she had endured.
"...You subjugated the heretic?"
"Using me as bait?"
"Yes, that's right."
To Cardi, bedridden and half-paralyzed, she had delivered the truth. That they had used him as bait to lure the heretic. And that they had killed her.
"No, that's not it."
"I'm not resenting you, Raniel."
"It was the right choice. It had to be. Disasters must be subjugated. Didn't I say it myself? There's no way to reverse a disaster. Since there isn't, it must be killed."
"What you did was right. No need to bow your head to me. If anything, I should thank you."
A wavering gaze.
A wavering voice.
"Tha...nks. You did what I had to do. Thank you, Raniel."
"...Just one thing."
"What did she say at the end?"
The heretic's final words.
Raniel had relayed them to Cardi. Upon hearing them, Cardi fell silent. He bowed his head. And that head never lifted again.
"...I want to be alone for a bit."
The next day, and the day after, Cardi said nothing. On the third day, he took his own life. Raniel remembered the hollow expression on Cardi's corpse at that time.
"Thank you, truly..."
But now?
He was smiling so joyfully. Watching that smile, the Goddess of Ashes thought to herself. What a good thing. Truly fortunate.
"......"
The Goddess of Ashes turned her head.
Her gaze turned to her past self. Raniel was opening and closing her mouth repeatedly. As if unsure what to say, after agonizing for a long while, she finally squeezed out one phrase.
"...Thank you."
With an expression that seemed both a smile and a sob, Raniel continued.
"I couldn't think of it, that method. Even hearing it from you, I don't fully grasp it now. Still."
"Still, it's possible."
"...Yeah."
Raniel nodded slowly.
As her shattered mind pieced itself back together, a flood of emotions made her shoulders tremble.
"Really, if it weren't for you..."
"No need to thank me like that."
The Goddess of Ashes lightly tapped Raniel's head.
This self from thirteen years ago was a bit shorter, though growth had stalled at some point anyway.
So, the past self sitting before her looked like a little sister—or like the students she had taught long ago at the academy.
In any case, she looked young.
Gently patting the head of her still-young self, the Goddess of Ashes smiled wistfully. Neither Raniel nor Cardi saw that smile... but Rosel, watching from outside the door, did.
A bitterly sweet smile.
It was the smile of one who had intuited their end.
"I'll soon be you. Different from you, but... you're still me. So no need to thank me."
"Still..."
"If you're truly grateful."
Raniel looked up.
Gazing down at Raniel, the Goddess of Ashes said.
"Don't become like me."
The failed her said.
"Don't walk my path. Don't regret like I did. Don't become like me. Even if it's hard, even if it's inefficient, don't choose the easy path."
Don't live like me.
Don't walk my path.
"Don't compromise with yourself. Don't compromise like I did—do what you believe is right."
The Goddess of Ashes smiled.
"Don't lose like I did. Live greedily. Hold tight to both this and that—don't let go."
Exhaling shortly.
She grabbed Raniel's arm and pulled her to her feet.
"Now's the time to stand."
Tick.
The Goddess of Ashes closed her eyes.
She felt the clock within her stop. The time granted to her was over. With a short breath, she released Raniel's arm.
Her hand was already fading faintly.
Not just her hand.
Her body was crumbling. Her existence blurring away. Knowing this would happen, she said nothing.
Silently, she took a step forward.
Leaving only a handful of ash, her form scattered. As Cardi and Raniel's eyes widened, Rosel gazed toward the window.
"......"
And Rosel too moved silently.
◇◇◇◆◇◇◇ 3.
The sun was setting.
The Goddess of Ashes had settled in a field far from the mansion, where the sunset bled into the horizon. Her legs had already vanished; she could no longer stand or walk.
Her entire body was disintegrating.
Gazing at her existence scattering as ash into the air, Raniel smiled bitterly. Time leaping demanded an immense price. Regression(?) was the ultimate taboo among taboos.
Even as a god, one was not free from constraints. If anything, bound even tighter.
Annihilation of existence.
Loss of all power and authority.
That was Raniel's price.
The immense power to overturn the world with a gesture, a lifespan near immortality—Raniel deemed them all worthless. By offering everything, she could return to the past.
And change it.
Whether the self here now would succeed or fail, Raniel could not know. She could no longer foresee the future. Still, she thought vaguely.
At least a better future than hers.
Just dreaming of the future she would reach brought a smile to Raniel. How long had it been since she last smiled so lightly? Raniel touched her lips, letting out an awkward chuckle.
"...Not bad."
She had thought them worthless, but they held value.
Her life had not been meaningless. In the very end, she had forged a path to the future. That was enough, Raniel thought.
If there was one regret.
Not seeing the changed future with her own eyes... but that was unavoidable.
The best future.
There would be no place for her in it.
She had committed too many sins, made too many mistakes. No right for such a self to step into a beautiful future.
"It's a shame."
Murmuring that, Raniel exhaled.
Just as she was about to close her eyes.
"You've always loved this field."
A voice came from behind.
So familiar, so longed-for. Raniel's eyes widened as she turned.
Rustle.
The sound of grass being stepped on.
"Do you like this field that much?"
"...Master."
"Yes, you foolish disciple."
Rosel smiled bitterly.
"You should at least say goodbye to your master."
"Ah, well..."
"I know. You didn't want to show this side, some trivial excuse like that."
Rosel stopped beside Raniel.
With the staff he held, he lightly tapped the head of the Raniel looking up at him. Watching her flinch and tremble, Rosel laughed.
"Still such a child."
"...By age alone, I'm decently grown."
"No matter how old you get, you're always a child before your parents."
Anyway, Rosel exhaled shortly.
"Pretending to be all grown up."
Raniel bowed her head.
Rosel placed his hand on her head instead of the staff. Stroking her hair with his wrinkled hand, Rosel said.
"Was it hard?"
A question without subject or object.
Yet at those words, Raniel had to swallow futilely. She hadn't been able to move until after Rosel died. At her longed-for master's touch, Raniel's lips quivered.
"No, it was so-so..."
"Lies are obvious, you fool."
"...Truthfully, a bit."
"A bit?"
"A bit... really hard."
Bowing her head, Raniel said.
"There was no one to look after me there."
"I see."
"Yes. No one... After losing you, Master, there was no one who knew me..."
Rambling words.
Her voice grew fainter. After listening to the barely intelligible words to the end, Rosel offered no grand comfort. Just a short phrase.
"Must have been tough."
Words anyone could say.
"You did well."
Words no one had said.
Raniel's head drooped further. Gazing at her fading body, she murmured.
"Master."
"Yes."
"Live long."
"Sudden well-wishes."
"Just... live long. Be careful in alleys. Stay by my side long."
"I'll stay until you vanish."
"Not me. The me in this time."
"I'll try."
The blowing wind rustled the field.
"Any last words?"
"...Was I a good disciple?"
"A good disciple, rotten kid. The kind that only worries parents."
Still, Rosel said.
"Above all, a child I was proud of."
"Ah, that... well."
Good thing.
Her final words scattered in the wind.
A stream of wind swirled through the field and rose to the sky. When it stopped, only Rosel remained.
Rosel gazed silently at the sky.
Ash was scattering.
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