Chapter 351
Chapter 351
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Translator: Ryuma
Chapter: 351
Chapter Title: Me to Myself (2)
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◇◇◇◆◇◇◇ Raniel raised her head and looked ahead.
There stood a woman. A woman with pure white hair as if all color had drained from it, and blue eyes.
"Nice to meet you, Raniel van Trias."
She said.
"I'm you. You from thirteen years in the future."
From the future.
Raniel's gaze shook as she stared at her. From the future—what did that even mean? It was true that the woman before her looked just like her. It felt exactly like looking in a mirror...
But that was impossible, wasn't it?
As she started to mutter that to herself, Raniel spotted the figure standing behind the woman claiming to be from the future. There was Cardi, with his hollow eyes.
Cardi nodded.
"Why don't we sit down for now."
The Raniel from the future took a step forward.
She glanced around the room as if visiting a long-forgotten hometown, a wistful smile crossing her lips. She dragged over a chair from the corner and sat down right in front of Raniel.
"You look like you have a lot of questions."
Of course she did.
Why had this woman, claiming to be from thirteen years in the future, appeared before her at this exact moment? What did she intend to tell her? And how?
...One of them.
She had a feeling she knew the answer to why she'd come at this particular time... But Raniel didn't dwell on it further. She didn't want to face the truth, so she stayed silent.
"Alright, where should I start."
The Goddess of Ashes let out a short breath in front of the silent Raniel. After a brief moment of thought, she opened her mouth. To tell her current self the one thing she least wanted to hear. To shove the truth she'd been avoiding right in her face.
"Reverse Heaven Sword, Kyle Toven."
Raniel's shoulders twitched briefly.
The Goddess of Ashes continued calmly.
"I killed Kyle."
And then.
"It took ten years and 178 days to kill him. And my world was destroyed. I was the only one left alive."
Destroyed.
Raniel swallowed hard at the word. To the woman who wanted to demand what that meant, the Goddess of Ashes plainly thrust the truth forward.
"I told you. It took ten years and 178 days."
"...That means."
"Because I caught the disaster too late, all that was left in the world was a land of death. A land where no crops could grow. A land where no life could survive. Does that make it easier to understand if I put it like this?"
The Goddess of Ashes murmured.
"Eighty percent of the world became a demonic realm because of Kyle Toven. The remaining twenty percent turned to ashes in the process of subjugating him."
In other words.
"The world was destroyed by Kyle Toven."
Raniel's expression crumbled.
Facing that face, the Goddess of Ashes gave a bitter smile.
"That's the future you'll have to face."
And added one more thing.
"The future you'll face if you don't kill Kyle right now."
2.
If she didn't kill Kyle, the world would be destroyed.
Her future self was telling her that. Raniel bit her lip hard and lowered her head.
"...I know."
Raniel murmured.
She already knew that much.
She knew she had to kill him before he fully became the disaster. She knew that if anyone could do it, it was her alone.
"I know I have to kill him even without being told. I know no one else can do it."
But.
"I know. I know, but..."
"How am I supposed to kill him? How am I supposed to kill Kyle with my own hands—the man who threw away his life to save me?"
The Goddess of Ashes cut off Raniel's words.
She dragged out every thought Raniel had kept buried inside and spat them out loud.
"...You."
Raniel slowly raised her head.
She looked at her future self staring back at her.
Her future self wore a pained expression. The Goddess of Ashes smiled bitterly and spoke.
"That's what you're thinking, isn't it?"
"......"
"I know. I told you, I'm you from thirteen years in the future. I thought the exact same thing... and I hesitated just like you. Honestly, even more than you."
"...More than me?"
"In my world, Kyle failed."
The Goddess of Ashes said.
"It was me who put you to sleep that day. It was me, not Kyle, who worked with Cardi."
Raniel's eyes widened.
She reached out and grabbed her future self by the collar.
A flash of anger ignited her listless body. Gripping the collar tightly, eyes blazing, Raniel ground out the words.
"That was you?"
"I had to."
"You know I wouldn't want this. You know because you've been through it..."
"I know. That's why I did it."
The Goddess of Ashes said expressionlessly.
"You'll throw a fit. You'll scream to be released. You'll raise your voice telling me to stop right now, and if that doesn't work, eventually you'll beg Kyle while crying. And in the end, you'll even try to kill yourself."
She said it expressionlessly, calmly, but it was all from experience. Raniel couldn't even imagine how much time it had taken to speak of it so calmly.
Poison leaked from her mouth.
Thick poison, words laced with the most vicious venom, poured out plainly.
"Nothing can stop Kyle. Every word you say will only hinder him. It will just shake him."
"What... does that."
"In my world, Kyle was shaken. The current Kyle succeeded in landing a blow on the Demon King... but in my world, even that was half-hearted."
A half-hearted success.
A half-completed contract.
"I became a half-baked mess, and Kyle turned into an even worse disaster than the one you're facing now."
"Th-that."
"That's the worst. The absolute worst situation."
The worst situation.
"You'll think it's because of you that Kyle failed. Because of you he became the disaster, and all this tragedy is your fault."
Once you start feeling that way.
Once you start thinking that way.
"Even breathing becomes agony. Just being alive feels like hell. Everything you see is hell. Every word you hear, every piece of news is horrifying. Everyone curses Kyle as the disaster. And it's all because of me, even though Kyle accomplished a feat, but they don't know and they tear him down."
Seeing and hearing all that is like hell itself.
"So I gouged out my eyes and tore off my ears."
The Goddess of Ashes lifted her hair.
Her short hair swayed. She showed Raniel the scars on her nape and ears with a smile. There were marks of repeated self-harm.
Scars that wouldn't fade even after multiple regenerations.
"They grow back right away. You've experienced it yourself, haven't you?"
That's what the hero's blessing is like.
Murmuring that, the Goddess of Ashes pointed to Raniel's nape. The neck that still bore no scars.
"That's why I put you to sleep."
"...Even so."
"I'm sorry. But I thought there was no other way. I tried putting you to sleep and convincing Kyle..."
"...It didn't work, did it."
"Yeah, it didn't. He's got a stubborn streak a mile wide."
The Goddess of Ashes exhaled.
Her breath was hot. To her, it felt like it had just happened. Tracing such vivid memories, she murmured.
"...When persuasion failed, I thought, so this is how it turns out. It flows the same way after all."
So she thought this.
"Time for the second plan."
Cardi fell silent.
The Goddess of Ashes continued.
"Jump to ten days in the future and tell my past self 'You have to kill Kyle Toven.' Explain everything about the past I went through—which will be your future—and force her to kill the Kyle who became the completed disaster."
The Goddess of Ashes looked at Raniel.
"Don't hesitate, kill Kyle. Unlike me, don't waver—finish it for good."
Raniel had already let go of the collar she was gripping. Her arms hung limp at her sides as she stared at the floor. Looking at her, the Goddess of Ashes continued.
"That's what I was going to say."
As if there was still more to say.
"But I changed my mind. The future changed."
The possibility she had seen.
To speak of it, she opened her mouth.
3.
Raniel van Dragonic had.
After walking through hell for so long, she had worn down to the point where she was convinced the future wouldn't change. She believed a regret-free choice was impossible. The thirteen years she endured had shaped her that way.
When she returned to thirteen years in the past, Raniel thought she could predict the future perfectly.
The future is unhappy.
All that awaits her is hell.
So she had to die here. If she didn't... she'd just walk another hell. That's what Raniel was certain of.
"I will resist until the end."
But.
"Live, Kyle."
The future she knew had changed.
The future she thought she predicted perfectly had shaken. Now, even she couldn't see the future. She had no idea what would happen next.
An incomplete future.
A future derailed by variables.
She could no longer foresee it, but paradoxically, that's how Raniel saw possibility. Not the two paths she had imagined, but another one. An ending her story could never reach.
She named that ending the "best."
It was a word Raniel had never uttered in the past thirteen years. A word she had murmured to herself hundreds of times inside, under the "what if" of hypotheticals.
The best ending.
Now able to say it aloud, chewing over the word, the Goddess of Ashes opened her mouth. She told her past self the possibility her current self had seen.
"Kyle resisted even as he was being swallowed by the shadow, before fully becoming the disaster. He raised his sword and stabbed his own heart. He carved a wound."
The Goddess of Ashes pointed to her own chest.
"And Sara, trading her qualifications as a saintess, planted a seed in the wound Kyle carved."
An indelible wound, a seed on the verge of blooming.
"Because of that, Kyle couldn't fully become the disaster. Unlike the past where I became the new Demon King as a perfect vessel... Kyle is left incomplete. He now harbors imperfection."
This is, the Goddess of Ashes exhaled briefly.
"A development that didn't exist in my era. Events that never happened. So, things that came about because of my interference."
She said it as if she was a little glad about that fact.
"The big picture hasn't changed, but a small variable has emerged. Variables gathering to create possibility."
The Goddess of Ashes moved her lips. She finally uttered the words she hadn't spoken once in thirteen years. She said them out loud.
"...The possibility of heading toward the best outcome."
Raniel's shoulders flinched.
To her, the Goddess of Ashes asked.
"Do you know what I mean?"
An incomplete disaster.
A seed of light planted in its heart.
Raniel didn't grasp the best ending it could lead to right away.
"Sl-sleep..."
But Cardi, who had longed for that ending for centuries, understood immediately. Turning to the gulping Cardi, the Goddess of Ashes said.
"Cardi seems to know."
"Raniel, that means..."
"Yes, the answer you've been searching for over centuries."
The Goddess of Ashes affirmed.
"An ending where the disaster turns back into a human."
Raniel's eyes widened.
Only then did she lift her head. She looked at her future self with trembling eyes.
"Is that..."
Raniel asked in a quivering voice.
"Is that... real?"
The lightless eyes of Raniel met the light-filled eyes of the Goddess of Ashes. Looking at the wavering Raniel, the Goddess of Ashes smiled.
She had to smile.
Because light was dwelling in Raniel's once-empty eyes. Like the light in her own eyes reflected in a mirror. Toward Raniel, who was regaining her original gaze, the Goddess of Ashes said.
"It's a slim possibility. Honestly, it's close to impossible. It requires doing the impossible."
"...But."
"But it's not impossible."
A possibility infinitely close to zero, but not zero.
So incredibly difficult.
A path worth walking because it was difficult.
To guide her once more down the path Raniel had always chosen, the guide who had already become a god opened her mouth.
"Listen well."
Because these will be my last words. ◇◇◇◆◇◇◇