Chapter 63
Chapter 63
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Translator: penny
Chapter: 63
Chapter Title: Quack Masseur Hassan #2
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“You’ll give me a massage?”
“Yeah, Hassan. Lie down on your stomach here.”
I’d kneaded plenty of other people’s bodies before, but it had been ages since I’d received one myself. Probably the first time since getting stuck in this world, right?
I couldn’t hide my dazed feeling.
“You worked hard fighting those deer too, Hassan. Come on.”
Urged by her, I had no choice but to flop down face-first onto the deer hide. Then, the soft touch of her small palm rested lightly on my back.
Squeeze, squuueeze—.
The pressure of her weight pressing into my body felt a little ticklish.
“How’s that?”
How was it? Honestly, I didn’t feel much. Luna didn’t seem to have any real grasp of massage basics. The force from her palms was weak too.
“How about putting a bit more strength into it?”
“I am putting strength into it. Is it because your clothes are so thick?”
Come to think of it, the jacket I was wearing was pretty thick. No wonder—with my already large build wrapped in this tough fabric, her touch would naturally feel weak.
Rustle, rustle—.
I sat up briefly and took off my upper layer. Without the thick leather in the way, even Luna’s feeble strength should make the massage more effective.
“…Why’d you suddenly take your shirt off?”
“Massages work better on bare skin.”
“B-bare skin…? I’ve never touched a guy’s body before…”
Having a woman who’d never touched a man’s body give me a massage felt somehow risqué.
“Alright, give it a good go.”
“Okay, I’ll do my best. But don’t expect too much. Whew…”
Luna sighed, steeling herself like it was some huge task. Soon, her hesitant, trembling hands touched my back uncertainly.
Having just come in from outside, her palms were cooler than expected. Of course, the coolness felt nice.
“Wow, your back’s so broad. Lots of scars and wounds. Bruises too.”
Her hands pressed firmly into my back, making my body twitch.
“Ah, ouch, that’s a bruised spot. Don’t press there.”
I was covered in wounds from the deer antlers gashing me and hooves stomping—everywhere hurt enough to make me shiver. They’d heal after a few nights’ sleep, but right now, it was agonizing.
“Whew, th-then like this?”
Luna climbed onto my lower back and started properly pressing my back with both hands. It felt like she was imitating what I’d done for her before.
But honestly, it wasn’t refreshing at all. Her strength was just too weak. At this rate, she might end up with sore arm muscles from massaging me.
“How about climbing up and stepping on it?”
“S-step on it…?”
“Step on my back. Like knead-knead.”
“You’re too heavy.”
Luna hesitated, unsure what to do. But figuring there was no other way, she soon placed her small sole on my back and pressed down with her weight—squish.
The warm, soft skin touching my bare flesh and the distinct feel of her toes were vivid enough. Still, it wasn’t refreshing.
“H-Hassan likes this kind of thing…?”
“No, a bit stronger would be better. Climb all the way on and really grind it in.”
“Stronger?”
Squuueeze—.
Her foot pressed harder with more force. Sure enough, with her full body weight, it felt a little better than before.
Crack, pop—.
“I-it broke!?”
“No, it’s fine. Actually, you’ve got some talent for this stepping thing. Now it’s starting to feel good. Nice.”
“…Really?”
Buoyed by my praise, Luna put more effort into it, diligently kneading my back with her feet—squish, squish.
But like mint leaves releasing stronger scent the more they’re crushed, the soft sensation of her tender feet on my bare back kept sending blood rushing southward, making it hard to focus.
I wonder what it’d feel like if she stepped on other things with this soft, squishy part. Maybe I should roll over—lost in such thoughts.
“Whew, I’m tired. Let’s stop. It didn’t seem like much, but it’s exhausting.”
Sweating buckets, Luna plopped down in exhaustion.
Massages are like that. They look easy and effortless, but they’re surprisingly hard labor.
It felt like the recipient was draining the qi right out of my body.
I’m used to it, so I can pace myself, but for a newbie like Luna, it must’ve been tough.
My body’s so thick and tough, and her hands and feet so slender and weak—that was part of it too. Luna needs some exercise.
“I’m gonna sleep now. Good night.”
With that, she covered herself with her cloak and passed out. I’d noticed the past few days: she falls asleep the instant her head hits something—never more than a minute.
If that’s not a real talent, what is? I admired her sleeping face for a bit before lying down and drifting off myself.
* * *
The next morning, we ate a quick breakfast and headed to the market south of the city. We needed nails or hammers, and some wooden planks to patch the shed.
“Hassan, we need glue too!”
We bought glue. And just like that, Luna had blown through 10 of her 13 silvers from yesterday.
Earning money is brutally hard, but spending it? Half a day, gone. It’s driving me insane.
Loaded with all our stuff, we returned to the shed and immediately started nailing wood and planks over the visible holes.
Thud, thud-thud. Thud—.
Our “repairs” weren’t anything professional—just us patching holes like slapping rags over them.
Still, after half a day’s work, we’d mostly sealed up the wind gaps everywhere.
“No more drafts, so nights’ll be warmer now. Sealed with glue, so no rain either. Cozy, right?”
Luna gazed out from inside the shed, smugly appraising our work.
Honestly, I wasn’t thrilled with it, but with no budget or time to spare, this patchwork was decent effort.
Still, turning a dilapidated wreck into something at least functional gave a sense of accomplishment.
“Oh, gotta feed Barky!”
Suddenly remembering something, Luna darted off somewhere.
She approached a small jar in the shed’s corner, opened the lid, and plunged her hand inside.
Soon, a hand emerged clutching a rainbow-colored, mottled spider.
Woof, woof!
Damn, it was that pup from before, but I still couldn’t fathom grabbing it barehanded. And Barky? What kind of name is that?
“Hey, how the hell are you holding that thing with your bare hands?”
“Wolf spiders are smart. They recognize their feeder. Back home, lots of folks kept them in houses or barns. They catch rats and stuff on their own.”
“If that’s the case, why not just get a cat?”
“Spiders have their own cuteness. And the silk clumps they spin sell for good money. Here, Hassan, wanna feed it yourself? Get to know each other.”
Luna held it out toward me by its front legs.
Grrr, woof!
“T-this thing hates me, doesn’t it?”
The horrific sight made my face twitch. How am I supposed to touch that? Just its fangs were thumb-nail sized.
But it stayed calm while she held it, so maybe I could try placing it on my palm once.
I tentatively extended my hand—
“Woof! Woof!”
“Ah, shit, you scared me!!”
Luna’s sudden shout while holding it made me jump a full meter, like slamming the spacebar.
“Pfft, hahaha!”
Luna burst into uncontrollable laughter.
“Damn it, what was that! Not funny!”
“Pfft, no, you just looked so scared. Amazing—you’re scared of spiders? Those deer yesterday were scarier to me.”
She fed it a piece of jerky and dropped it back into the jar.
Clack-clack sounds echoed from inside for a while before quieting, and only then did I relax.
“Phew, so repairs are mostly done. What now? Anything else?”
“We should get some furniture now. Chairs, cabinets—something like that. Hmm…”
Luna scanned the empty spaces, lost in thought, lips pursed. Either way, one thing was clear: furnishing a home cost way more than imagined.
Clothing, food, shelter. Even mastering these basics took serious effort. No room for slacking.
“But we’re done with the heavy lifting, so you can do whatever you want, Hassan! I’ll handle the rest. Gotta make those totems too.”
“Alright?”
Luna needed some alone time. Wondering if there were money-making gigs, I headed to the guild hall.
Lately, I wondered if I was overworking. But seeing my pouch get heavier motivated me.
I had about 34 silvers now. Rene said yesterday a breastplate costs around 30?
Once I had some living expense buffer, maybe get a sturdy, cool-looking one custom-made.
I’d felt it painfully with my wrist guards and greaves: skimping on body gear isn’t worth it.
Armor brings security, boosts confidence, enables bolder moves.
Naturally, that’d raise efficiency on quests and monster hunts. Higher efficiency means more money and guild points…
“Oh, Hassan. You come by a lot.”
“Daphne. Thought there might be work today.”
“You’re working so hard. Most folks take three or four days off after one quest.”
Her words reminded me of other adventurers. The iron and bronze tier ones I’d seen were like day laborers.
Work when there’s work, rest when there isn’t.
And that work often involved risking injury, so gaps between jobs were normal.
Plus, many blew earnings on booze or gambling, so diligent workers were rare.
“Hm, no quests on order right now. Oh, Hassan, you ran into Actaeon yesterday? Caused a huge stir. Minerva Guild might contact you soon.”
Minerva Guild—I pictured the other major adventurer guild in the city.
Folks said unlike the sloppy, half-assed Mars Guild, Minerva was disciplined like an army.
Its members had strong pride, acted superior. Full of Hermiones, basically. Not keen on tangling with them.
“Oh, and Hippolyte reserved time with you again. Said to meet at the training grounds?”
“With me? Should I head to the training grounds now?”
“No, tonight.”
“Tonight?”
That was unexpected.
* * *
“Ah, Mr. Samaritan, I’ve been waiting.”
Stopping at the inn for dinner with Luna, the owner greeted me warmly.
What could he be waiting for? Then I remembered: I’d promised him a day for his wife’s back pain.
Too busy lately, I’d forgotten my own words.
“After dinner, could you spare an hour?”
I glanced at Luna, who shrugged.
“I’ve got more carving to do on those moai totems, so I won’t sleep tonight. Stay at the inn, Hassan. We patched all the holes in the shack—it won’t be too cold alone now.”
So Luna and I ate dinner and went our separate ways.
After seeing her off, I returned to the inn, where the owner—preparations done—whispered in my ear.
“Keep this secret from everyone. Having my wife touched by another man’s hands doesn’t look good…”
“No worries.”
I agreed on secrecy. Better than unwanted attention—quiet and under the radar.
He led me to the inn’s basement, stacked with barrels and dishes. Musty and dim, but bearable.
“She’s in that side room. Can’t get up these days—bedridden all day. Can’t even climb stairs, so I set up down here.”
He knocked on a door in the corner—knock-knock.
“Honey, it’s me. Brought that guy I mentioned. The one who massaged my shoulders and such. Can we come in?”
His tone softened for his wife. For a bearded bandit-lookalike, he was a softie.
As I mused, a small voice came from inside.
….
“Oh, she says come in. Let’s go.”
Click, creak—.
The rough wooden door opened. Inside was a cozy room lit by several blazing candles. Bed with blankets, a low table, plush carpet on the floor.
I’d expected a dark half-basement, but it was lovingly arranged—like a newlyweds’ chamber.
What really widened my eyes, though, wasn’t the room, but the person lying face-down on the bed.
“I-is that your wife?”
“Aye. Pretty, isn’t she?”
Pretty? I’d assumed the innkeeper’s wife was some frumpy matron.
I seriously debated reporting him to the guards—the shock of her appearance was that extreme.
The blue-haired woman on the bed was Luna’s size, but her development—or lack thereof—was on another level.
Flat-chested like breasts just starting to bud, baby fat not fully gone—she looked underage to anyone. Pubescent girl?
“Shit, innkeeper, even in a lawless world, locking up a kid this underdeveloped as your ‘wife’—I can’t stand for this.”
“What? My wife’s over thirty this year.”
“Bullshit! You guys don’t age three years a pop. She’s a kid—clearly! What’s your secret? No, guards!”
“No, wait, hear me out. Looking young is a nymph trait. My wife Echo is a nymph!”
“Nymph?”