Chapter 61
Chapter 61
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Translator: penny
Chapter: 61
Chapter Title: Beware the Deer
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Irregular antlers like twisted tree branches.
Tap, tap, tap.
The sight of it charging straight at me, antlers first, sent chills racing down my spine. If that thing hit me, my body would end up riddled with pretty little holes.
"Fuck, come at me one by one!!"
It was a do-or-die moment.
Sure, I had a sword in hand, but facing those massive, muscled fawns swinging sharp antlers around, I hesitated, doubting if my attacks would even work.
"Long live the sun!"
『Insufficient Karma Value.』
"Shit like that!"
Crunch, craaack—
In the end, the deer slammed into me, the impact making my vision spin. It sounded like branches snapping all around.
I'd thought I'd end up with holes punched through me, but luckily the alligator leather clothes were thicker and tougher than they looked—no such disaster.
Still, it hurt like hell, like I was getting skewered, and a scream tore from my throat unbidden!!
"Fucking hurts!! You, you velvet-antler bastards!"
Crunch, craaack—
The silver lining? The deer that had charged me got their antlers tangled up with each other, thrashing around helplessly.
It reminded me of that old fairy tale where a deer brags about its antlers and gets stuck in branches, unable to move. Except I was trapped inside with them, which killed any urge to laugh.
"Luna, save me!"
Trapped in the antler cage, I yelled. Curled up on the ground, the deer's front hooves battered me in a whirlwind—I really thought I'd get flattened.
That's when Luna, watching from the tree above, pulled something from under her skirt and hurled it down.
"Hassan! Plug your nose!"
It was a bamboo-like wooden bottle.
Spinning as it fell, it landed amid the clustered deer, spraying liquid everywhere over their heads with a whooosh—
"Shit, what the hell is this smell?!"
I'd thought my rough upbringing gave me tolerance for bad odors. But even I found this stench utterly vile.
Sharp and spicy enough to feel like fire burning in my nostrils.
Tears streamed down, snot poured out—it felt like chemical warfare training.
"Fucking spicy!"
"I told you to plug your nose. Anyway, it's habanero chili oil—the stuff deer hate! Hang in there just a bit!"
I had no idea what habanero chili oil was, but the scent was so blisteringly hot it drew tears right out of me.
No wonder—these wild, instinctive fawns couldn't handle it. They started bucking wildly and collapsing one by one.
Seeing them suffer worse than me gave me a burst of energy.
"Fuck! Serves you right, you shits! I said I'd kill the first one that came at me!"
No way I'd miss this chance. I raised my sword toward the necks of the writhing fawns on the ground. Right then—
"H-Hassan, no! Don't kill them!"
Luna's voice halted my swing.
"Why? What do you mean don't kill them?!"
"Th-These forest deer are offerings to Lady Diana...! Killing them carelessly might bring down who-knows-what punishment!"
My nose and mouth were burning so bad I couldn't process talk of offerings or whatever.
But one thing was clear: these fawns belonged to someone, and killing them offhand wasn't allowed.
Shit, they'd beaten the crap out of me, and now I couldn't kill them? Even Yu-Gi-Oh rules had more mercy than this.
"Fuck, so as long as I don't kill them, it's fine? Just you wait, you fucks."
I sheathed my sword again, clenched my fist tight, and slammed it down with all my strength on the head of the first fawn that had charged me.
Thwack—
Kirruk, prrruk, eeeeng....
The hit fawn let out a pitiful whine as it flailed.
Little shit, all fierce when charging, now playing weak. But I wasn't soft enough to fall for such cowardly tricks. I'm a heartless Good Samaritan, after all.
I laced my fingers together and raised my double-fisted hammer for another blow on its head while it lay there.
Tap, ta-tap, tap—
Then came the sound of hooves pounding the ground somewhere. Suddenly, my body lifted into the air.
"Urk!"
The scenery flipped in an instant, but gravity soon yanked me back down hard.
My back and waist smashed into the ground so bad I couldn't even scream—just groan in agony.
"Th... ugh...."
I'd thought the chili oil had neutralized all the fawns. What the hell was this? I fought the pain and pried my eyes open.
What I saw: a deer with pale amber fur gleaming beautifully.
Its antlers towered the highest, its stature majestic—you could tell at a glance this was the boss of the herd.
Luna's voice came from the tree above.
"H-Hassan! That's the one! That's the thief who stole my money pouch!"
"Hff, fuck, so it's you. Good, you're mine now."
Gritting through the pain, I hauled myself up off the ground. The deer stared down at me with an arrogant, lofty gaze unbecoming of a mere beast.
It felt like it was mocking and looking down on me. Rage boiled up. A damn animal daring to scorn me!!
"Meteor Swarm!"
Pretending to still be down, I flung the stones, pebbles, and sand I'd clenched in my hand straight at the fawn thief's eyes.
This was human wisdom—using the environment and tools. Not cheating at all.
Purruk, purruk!
As the thief flinched from the attack,
Ta-dah—
I kicked off the ground and leaped, wrapping my arms around its neck and squeezing with everything I had. Plan was to choke it out and drag it to the guards!
Krrraaack—
I poured every ounce of strength into crushing its body.
But this was no ordinary fawn—it was the boss that ruled the wilds and robbed people blind. Its power was immense. It started bucking and thrashing with me dangling from its neck.
Purruk, prrruk!
Boom, boom!
It rammed my body into trees and rocks like it was trying to shake me off. Shit, a fawn with that kind of smarts?
Pain hammered my back, waist, shoulders, and arms—I nearly let go, but I refused to break my hold, wrapping tighter.
"Grhh, krrrr!"
My gritted teeth let out groans on their own. But losing to a mere fawn? I'd never escape Bronze Hell, let alone hit Gold tier.
"Dieee!!"
Grh, stop, st-stop, stop....
"What the fuck?!"
I jumped at the deer suddenly speaking. In my shock, my grip loosened. The fawn slipped free, staggering away and exposing its back as it fled.
I blanked for a second, but no way I'd let it escape. I launched myself onto its back like mounting a horse.
Purruk.
My considerable weight bore down, toppling the fawn at last. Now it was ground-and-pound time—we flailed limbs at each other.
With four legs, the fawn kicked my torso every which way. It hurt so fucking much tears came out.
"Sh-shit! Four legs? You cheating fuck! Fight fair on two!"
I grabbed one leg to pin it down. That's when—
Ding—
『Actaeon lv. ?? 16
Status: Diana's Curse』Immature Velvet Antlers』Resistant Hooves』』
The text floating before me furrowed my brow.
"Actaeon?"
It froze.
Then the deer trembled, stood, and limped off somewhere.
"Hey, you fuck, where you going! Face me!"
It glanced back at my shout, then limped into the brush.
What the hell? Follow me?
I glanced between Luna's tree and the surrounding woods, hesitating. But I couldn't let it get away, so I followed.
"Luna! Wait there a sec!"
"H-Hassan!"
* * *
The deer limped steadily through the wide forest. No real attempt to flee—it even paused now and then to look back, like it was leading me somewhere.
Of course, this cunning thief that robbed people of their gold wasn't above luring me into a trap, so no dropping guard.
High level too. Definitely not your average deer.
After a long trek, it stopped at a cave formed by piled rocks. It squeezed inside and snorted loudly a few times: purruk, purruk—
"Come in?"
Purruk.
Holy fuck, talking with a deer fawn. What a shitty world.
Not getting mobbed by waiting buddies the second I entered, right?
Luckily, the rocky cave was cramped—no room for others to hide.
More importantly, what was this?
As my eyes adjusted to the faint light inside, I saw junk piled up like storage: broken pots, worn armor, rusted weapons, mysterious bundles.
Just what you'd expect if a wild animal hoarded human stuff.
"You little shit, you're no newbie at this!!"
Purruk, purruk.
Then it snorted and started rubbing its antlers against the cave wall.
Some beastly madness? Or itchy antlers? Then I spotted writing on the wall.
Me. Actaeon. Cairoth. Disciple. Human.
What? Who wrote this?
As I puzzled, it kept pointing with its antlers. I asked,
"Human? You're saying you're human?"
Purrruk—
It wiggled its hoof. Looked like a deer fawn, claiming to be human. Identity crisis?
Or maybe this world's "human" had broad definitions. Guys wearing human skin but acting inhuman got called human anyway.
If it looked like a deer but had high level and smarts, maybe more human than humans. What the fuck was I even saying? My head was a mess.
"You understand me? If yes, stomp your hoof on the wall once."
Clack—
Oh fuck, that's wild. A beast that gets human speech? Even in this world of weird shit, this was my first.
My mind flashed to slapping a collar on it and selling at market. How much? At least one gold coin?
Purruk, purrruk—
Then it "spoke" again. It started scratching letters into the dirt floor with its hoof. Crooked and hard to read, but decipherable.
"I... am cursed... deer form... deer?"
Sscrch—adding with its front hoof.
"Ah, deer form. Cursed into deer form?"
Nod, nod.
"Fuck, what a bizarre world."
Sscrch, sscrch—more writing.
"Help lift curse, reward? Pure virgin's item can lift curse?"
Nod, nod.
Definitely no ordinary deer. Literate, conversing with me.
Really turned from human by curse? Curses are fucking scary if that's possible.
Anyway, explained why it stole Luna's and Rene's stuff. Needed virgin's item for curse-lift. Though Luna wasn't a virgin anymore....
Lost in thought, it scratched more on the ground.
Saw through identity. Except Rapu ally. First. You. Help curse. Reward. Swear on Styx River.