Chapter 87
Chapter 87
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Translator: penny
Chapter: 87
Chapter Title: 16. Love and Admiration
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Because they were so young, there was no hesitation between them. In truth, at their age, it was rare for a boy who wasn’t a childhood friend to visit a girl’s house, so it was natural to feel a bit embarrassed, but right now, neither of them had the luxury to think about that.
The two quietly entered the house. Kang Inha’s mother and father were still at Yoo Eunha’s place, so the house was empty. Kang Inha led Park Hansu to her room.
“Come to think of it, it’s been a while since I’ve been to your house.”
“Yeah. We usually went to Minhee’s place a lot. Then Hyunho’s or Eunha’s.”
“Right, yeah.”
Park Hansu replied like that while looking around Kang Inha’s room with a strange feeling. Yoo Eunha’s room felt girly with books filling the shelves and feminine decorations everywhere, though a bit cluttered. But Kang Inha’s room… contrary to expectations, it was decorated so girly. Simple and based on white, but surprisingly feminine. And unlike Eunha’s, it was impeccably neat.
‘Wait, come to think of it, this girl has always dressed girly, hasn’t she?’
Her hairstyle changed almost every day, and she wore girly dresses more often than not. In reality, Kang Inha herself didn’t show girly traits or like girly things.
“Hey, your room.”
“Huh?”
“It doesn’t suit you.”
“……”
Considering Kang Inha’s personality, the room really didn’t match her at all. Not the bunny doll in the corner of the bed, nor the ribbon corsage on the white vanity. A moment later, Kang Inha agreed.
“Unlike Eunha, Mom decorated my room.”
“Ah, I see. Your mom likes dressing you up, right?”
“That’s why I can’t even cut my hair short.”
“Yeah. I’ve never seen you with short hair. You’ve always kept it to your waist. Now, short hair would somehow not suit you.”
“……Eunha says it would.”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah. She says since I’m pretty, anything would suit me.”
“……”
Park Hansu was at a loss for words at Kang Inha’s deadpan continuation. Eunha always had trouble making objective judgments about Inha. Like being lovesick.
‘No, maybe not that bad. She really is a beauty. A huge one.’
Just as Inha favored Eunha, Eunha favored Inha too. To the point of highlighting each other’s good looks.
‘She doesn’t even know she’s pretty herself.’
Park Hansu thought that inwardly, then his eyes grew distant. The Eunha he knew was cute in her shyness, kind, mature, and affectionate—a pretty girl. Much prettier than she appeared at first glance. Her timid side made her seem fragile somehow.
—That’s what he’d thought. Until ‘that day.’
‘Pretty’ and ‘beautiful’ carried different connotations. If thinking of Eunha used to make Park Hansu blush before, now… it made his vision fade somehow.
It was Eunha’s true face he’d learned about during the ‘terror’ incident. Facing an enemy terrifying enough to make his skin crawl, only Eunha stood firm. She blocked attacks that neither Inha nor Park Hansu could even touch. Over and over, again and again.
Dazzlingly beautiful. That’s what Park Hansu thought upon seeing Eunha, without realizing it. Even now. Thinking of her made his eyes dazzle.
Objectively speaking, Eunha wasn’t all that pretty. Inha was a recognized beauty by everyone, but Eunha was more like a girl in the beauty category—slightly above average. That was a fair assessment. So Park Hansu must have been a bit lovesick about her too. He was aware of it.
“Wanna sit here?”
Kang Inha flopped onto the bed, leaned against the wall, and patted the spot next to her. Park Hansu nodded, climbed onto the bed, and sat beside her. Inha rested her arms on her knees and buried her face. They stayed silent for a while.
“Hey… you okay?”
Kang Inha shook her head. Tsk, Park Hansu clicked his tongue and awkwardly comforted her, stroking her hair lightly like Eunha had. Only then did Inha speak.
“Eunha and I have been friends since we were little.”
It was a sudden start to the story, but Park Hansu just listened without interrupting, though a bit startled.
“We weren’t friends from the start. I don’t remember the details, but from some point, Eunha was always by my side since we were young. Well, because she’s the daughter of Mom’s best friend.”
He’d heard that. To them, Eunha and Inha being friends was natural, but Inha sometimes seemed to envy everyone around Eunha, as if it wasn’t. Half of it was old news; now it wasn’t that bad.
“I don’t remember why, but she smiled. It was so pretty… that for the first time, I thought I wanted to be friends.”
He’d heard that story too. And now Park Hansu could understand that feeling. Maybe because she often had a blank, emotionless expression, Eunha’s smiles were incredibly pretty. Dazzlingly so. Her eyes curved gently, dimples forming slightly at the corners of her lips—it was so pretty… If he had to say, he’d fallen for that. From some point on, Park Hansu had liked Eunha.
“The friend I made was more charming than I thought, so I even got jealous of anyone close to Eunha. She’s awkward or expressionless with strangers, but kind, affectionate, mature, and smiles so prettily with close ones. I started liking Eunha more and more. What do you call that… ah, right. My first love was probably Eunha.”
“Gah! Cough!!”
Park Hansu choked mid-story and coughed. What? Just now, what…?!
Startled, Park Hansu turned to Inha. But she just frowned at him once, said nothing more, and continued facing forward. Park Hansu grumbled inwardly while staring at her profile.
‘This girl, this girl. I knew she liked Eunha, but… that much?’
Park Hansu thought that, then his expression sank.
“When I realized Eunha was better at magic than me, I got it. When I learned what talent really was, I was glad we both had it. At some point, I took it for granted that Eunha was stronger. It was natural. Really.”
A strange feeling came over him. The more he listened, the deeper he sank into it. Being around Eunha, he’d thought they resembled each other. But surprisingly, he and Inha were more alike. He realized it now. Even their first love echoed the same.
Park Hansu shook his head in disbelief. Of course, it was natural. Yeah, he’d felt the same.
No, all the friends probably did. It was natural for Eunha to be better at magic than them. He’d been proud of Eunha laughing by his side while casting spells. That’s all he’d thought.
“But that day, seeing Eunha protecting us from the front, I thought…”
Park Hansu bit his lip. He could guess what came next. Dazzling, so dazzling it hurt his chest.
“Ah, she’s too far away.”
“……!”
His breath caught. Park Hansu unconsciously covered his mouth.
“Seeing someone and feeling blinded… this must be it.”
His heart plummeted. He didn’t know why. Not until Inha’s next words.
“It was natural for Eunha to be stronger than us. Everyone knows she works insanely hard, not just talent. But I didn’t expect this gap. I get why kids admire her. I thought even if she was stronger, it’d be close to our level. I had no idea it wasn’t.”
“……”
Kang Inha lifted her head, gazing far away. It was an expression not childish at all.
“Because seeing Eunha protect us in front of us, I realized too. Ah, this is…”
“‘Admiration,’ right?”
Park Hansu cut in, muttering. Inha turned to him in slight surprise at the voice laced with frustration. Park Hansu hung his head darkly. To Inha, he looked like he’d burst into tears any second.
“Ha… haha…”
It wasn’t an illusion. Tears dropped from the chuckling Park Hansu’s eyes. Inha stared blankly.
Her smile was so pretty, her mature heart so endearing—that’s why he’d fallen. Fallen…
“If your first love is Eunha, then mine is too.”
Park Hansu hardened his expression. Inha frowned slightly.
“I just liked her normal side, or how she was a bit more mature than other kids. Her wide, childlike smile was so pretty—I liked that.”
“Hmph. Eunha is pretty cute.”
Park Hansu’s stiffened face relaxed a bit at Inha’s words, letting out a hollow laugh. But it vanished instantly. He put a hand to his forehead, raking his hair. His eyes twisted in pain.
“Honestly, when I first met her, I didn’t think much. I just felt close to her because of magic, that’s it.”
“……”
“But…”
Park Hansu trailed off, biting his lip. Flashes of the past flooded his mind like photos. Overwhelmingly happy memories. And in them, always the five of them, including her.
“She seemed mature… different… I don’t know when it started. But I’d catch myself staring at her, get nervous when she came close, my chest hurt strangely when she smiled, pounded… got annoyed seeing her with others… I don’t even remember when I realized I liked her…”
Before he knew it, he liked her. Straight out of a novel or comic. Park Hansu felt it deeply in his young heart. And it wasn’t a day or two.
“Eunha’s pretty.”
“Yeah, she is.”
“Being with her feels comfortable somehow.”
“Yeah, it does.”
Park Hansu muttered on.
“I trembled, couldn’t help it—eyes meeting made my face heat up. After realizing I liked her, I thought of confessing, but what if rejected? She’d only see me as a friend, and hanging out like this was so fun.”
He’d thought of confessing, jealous and all. Especially alone. But he never did. Those times with all five mattered more than confessing.
“I thought I’d keep liking her forever.”
“…‘Thought’…?”
“Yeah, I thought so.”
Inha turned to him blankly. She knew Park Hansu saw Eunha specially, like her. That’s why they clashed more.
“That day, seeing Eunha protect us, I thought too. Dazzling.”
“……”
“She was strong, yeah… but you know she’s timid. So she seemed fragile, like we had to protect her. You thought so too, right?”
Yeah. Inha nodded. Eunha was the most timid among friends. So they all tended to protect her. If she protected them from ignorance, they protected her mentally and physically. But they knew in their heads she wasn’t easy prey despite mental fragility—they just hadn’t felt it. Strong or talented, not comparable to adult mages… not at all.
“I thought she was pretty. Mature. Dazzling when smiling, but that’s all. But that day, seeing her, I first thought: this is what blinding means. I read in novels: ‘blinding silhouette.’ I felt it.”
He felt it. The world changed after. Eunha seemed to glow in everything. Her back protecting them, then evacuating same-year kids, using magic to save even others left at school. She glowed. Blindingly, enough to go blind, and…
“Realizing the one right beside me was out of reach, no matter how I stretched…”
So he thought: ‘Ah, this is admiration.’
“Yeah, I probably started admiring Eunha then. No, everyone there did. You too, right? That’s why ‘dazzling.’ And she wasn’t just strong among peers. She stepped up to protect us. Not just talented. Loves magic, works hard, enjoys casting. So…”
“Yeah… right. Yeah.”
“Yeah, so… her casting magic is dazzling…”
But afterward, they felt self-loathing. Their talents started similar to Eunha’s and the kids’. When they first met, she led but not by much. One difference: effort. And genuinely loving and enjoying magic.
They liked magic too. But not training. Eunha was different. Loved magic so much, she loved training. Even exhausted, breathless, she cast repeatedly daily, experimenting effects. Effort like that. No day without magic. They’d seen it closest.
They’d thought she’d get bored. The gap now was irreversible. Eunha advanced with effort making talent pale. Still doing so.
“After, I saw her effort anew. And it pissed me off being behind. Every time she trained, smiled talking magic, ah, that’s why she’s so strong…”
Inha thought the same. “But…,” she said, eyes sinking. Park Hansu’s calmed voice mixed with tears again.
“Today, hearing you, I realized.”
“…Realized what?”
“We—we admired her. I thought I still liked her, wanted to date her. But I wouldn’t say this to you if so. But now, I get it.”
“……?”
“This admiring heart grew bigger than ‘liking.’”
“……!”
Inha’s eyes widened at Park Hansu. She admired Eunha’s effort while seeing her as friend. Park Hansu liked her as friend but had romantic feelings. Yes. But…
“Trying to catch up to my much stronger friend, deep down thinking I can’t. Heart pounding seeing her ahead—not romantic flutter. Not cute or pretty, but cool… Still pounding, so I thought I still liked her…”
Park Hansu twisted his face bitterly. Inha watched blankly. Despite appearances, he was second most sensitive after Eunha. She could only stare at his tears.
“But… it wasn’t. I’d stopped liking her that way… As a friend, close friend, I was admiring…”
“……That’s not bad.”
“But, still, I really liked her…”
Park Hansu’s words faded, story breaking into sobs. Inha hugged the sobbing boy instinctively. Recalling her feelings, she frowned. She sort of understood his heart now. But also didn’t. They shared traits but different personalities.
“Liked her so much, it was fun. Hurt too, but joyful. Betrayed myself thinking I’d like her forever…”
Park Hansu whispered against Inha’s shoulder. Inha grimaced too.
“Lost in my feelings, overlooking her struggles… Thinking she’d handle anything…”
That’s why they couldn’t support Eunha. Worried, but thought she’d be fine.
Inha hugged tighter. Park Hansu’s bitten lips, stifled voice echoed in her chest.
As a result, Eunha was in this state. None asked why she struggled before this.
Their feelings betrayed them in the end.
And Eunha opened her eyes ten days later, shortly after winter break started.
Like before, no warning—she quietly woke. She checked her body and surroundings, sighing in brief relief. With a gesture, she undid the magic everyone struggled to partially break. Natural as the caster.
Eunha checked her phone for time. And startled.
“January…?”
Eunha covered her mouth in shock. As she hurriedly rose to leave, the door burst open. She blankly turned. Familiar faces stared back.
“Eunha!”
“E-Eunha! You okay?!”
They rushed because magic detected the barrier lift. So Eunha woke. Obvious.
As they teared up at Eunha, she blankly scanned them. Her parents, friends’ parents, friends—her gaze stopped at Jeong Junhwi. Their eyes met; Inha rushed, hugging her.
Eunha’s eyes widened. Then calmed. Suddenly startled, she shoved Inha off.
“……! E-Eunha…?”
Inha stared shocked, then near tears. Eunha’s face twisted anxiously. She bowed, clutching her head. Everyone panicked.
“Eunha, what’s wrong? Hurt?!”
“Awake after almost a month—bound to hurt somewhere. Something to eat…”
Eunha gripped her head. Enduring something, eyes squeezed shut. After a while, she looked up weakly at Han Mirae.
“Mom… food. Make porridge… abalone porridge…”
“Huh? Yeah! Got it!”
“And…”
Eunha looked up at Jeong Junhwi.
“Sorry… everyone except Teacher Junhwi, please leave… Things to discuss…”
What? Everyone stared confused. Eunha met their eyes. Hers held pitiful distress, but firm.
“Eunha, you just woke—suddenly what…”
“Sorry. Later… if I can, I’ll tell. Hansu. Inha, sorry. My mana control’s off now… that’s why…”
“Ah, okay. Tell us this time. We promised—important stuff, always share. Got it? Promise.”
Inha, uncharacteristically anxious, pinky-promised. Eunha hesitated, then hooked pinkies. Inha noticed her hand trembling.
Forgetting her hurt, Inha pitied down at Eunha’s brown head. Why was this girl trembling in anxiety?
Soon, all left, leaving Eunha and Jeong Junhwi. Inha stared through closing door. Eunha’s downcast eyes trembled pathetically below.
Creak. Door shut.
========== Afterword ==========
Something that popped into my head reading comments. Uh.... Eunha isn’t that cautious.... um....?
She has impulsive sides too. Just doesn’t cross dangerous bridges.
Cautious in some ways, not in others.
Check settings occasionally. I post stuff sometimes. Might seem like memes.... No direct mentions though. You know I don’t answer meme questions, right? Ahahaha.....;;;
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